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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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He's been extremely annoying with his continual requests for anal sex!
Q. Hey everyone, I have a fantastic boyfriend who I love very much. BUT (isn't there always a but?) he keeps pressuring me to have anal sex with him. I'm happy to do it once a week or so, but every day is too much and it hurts. Also, he doesn't like ...
A. 14 January 2014: Happy to hear you are away from the sadist! I hope you are enjoying a healthy and happy relationship with the new love. I do hope you worked out why you tolerated this heinous behavior and that you won't find yourself being victimized ever again! ... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 15 November 2011: And chigirl: "And maybe that's the clue: a loving partner wouldn't!" And there it is. Exactly right.... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 15 November 2011: CindyCares summed it up perfectly: "See it this way . You are lucky . You are not throwing away 2.5 years of unfettered bliss with more potentially to come " for a conversation " .You have ONLY wasted so far 2.5 years of your life with a ... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 15 November 2011: For the other posters, here's the link to the other question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-bf--has-given-me-an-ultimatum.html
"He constantly complains"
"[he] frequently gets irritated"\"I feel like trying pills means sacrificing my own sex ... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 14 November 2011: Sooooo, are you planning to reconcile with the asshole?... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 14 November 2011: Yep, too many problems.... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 14 November 2011: After 2.5 years of bliss then his resentments bubble to the surface and he becomes irate? You have sex 5-8 times a week, you give him blow jobs, you can orgasm (with some help) and he wants to be a bully about it? Now, all of a sudden?
I'd go on a... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 14 November 2011: Hey, are you the same poster whose boyfriend issued the orgasm ultimatum?
I'd make that a permanent break up. You don't need to be browbeaten.... (read in full...)
My wife shared a hotel room with a male colleague!
Q. Is it ever OK for a married woman to spend the night in a hotel room with another man? My wife has been working at this new job for 2 years. The company scheduled an out of town trip for seminars which will help her get a promotion that s...
A. 10 November 2011: It sounds like you have a good handle on the situation and so there's nothing to worry about.
That image you have of her seeing the guy in his underwear? Um, if women found images of guys in their undies sexy or compelling Playgirl would have done... (read in full...)
Boyfriend in Jail. Not sure how to cope or to help him?
Q. Help please. . . So my boyfriend and I were in a car wreck on monday we are both okay for the most part the car insurance covers both of our medical bills and there is full coverage on the vehicle well after the accident we were taken to a tow yard ...
A. 10 November 2011: I think you might want to see if he is entitled to legal aid if he has no money to pay an attorney. I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a legal expert, nor is this a board for legal advice, so please keep that in mind.
If she cost him his job ... (read in full...)
My wife shared a hotel room with a male colleague!
Q. Is it ever OK for a married woman to spend the night in a hotel room with another man? My wife has been working at this new job for 2 years. The company scheduled an out of town trip for seminars which will help her get a promotion that s...
A. 9 November 2011: I think it IS a big deal that she spent the night in a male co-worker's hotel room. At the very least, she should have simply booked a new room for herself, or insisted that her roommate pay for an extra room. Very unprofessional and inappropriate ... (read in full...)
My Best Friend Acting Up. What to do?
Q. I sort of like this girl who happens to be my best friend, a week back we had an argument and clash of opinions and i felt she was treating me equal to other people even though I am her best friend, she did not speak to me after that. She and 3 ...
A. 9 November 2011: It sounds like your friend is trying to tell you that she is going to date other boys and does not want you to feel badly about that. She is not interested in you as a boyfriend and wants you to be comfortable with that.
You sound like you were beha... (read in full...)
Boyfriend in Jail. Not sure how to cope or to help him?
Q. Help please. . . So my boyfriend and I were in a car wreck on monday we are both okay for the most part the car insurance covers both of our medical bills and there is full coverage on the vehicle well after the accident we were taken to a tow yard ...
A. 9 November 2011: I guess he'll have to sell some of his belongings to raise the money, or tap into his financial assets, such as an IRA or other retirement accounts if he doesn't have the money available. If he's responsible for the child support, he has to pay ... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 9 November 2011: I know you have already had some good advice on this but I have to chime in. When I read your post, I thought to myself, this is a guy who is really rather selfish. Yes, it would be nice to have sex without a condom but that is much less harmful to ... (read in full...)
Curious about oral sex or just being silly
Q. This is probably a silly question. Well I am a girl and openly bisexual but not sexually active and my friend is bi-curious or whatever and lately she keeps bringing up sex with me. Talking about how she wants me to perform oral on her and ...
A. 9 November 2011: If she only does it via text, I wonder if she isn't trying to bait you into texting something really revealing back to her. She may have other people looking at the texts. I'd ignore that nonsense, and tell her to talk to you in real life if she has ... (read in full...)
18 in love with a man 30 years older than me
Q. basically i am in love with a man who is 30 years older than me. i am 18. we have been 'friends with benefits' exclusively for 2 years but have a stupid habit of calling each other bf or gf. i went to visit him about a week ago and we decided ...
A. 9 November 2011: Putting myself into the shoes of a guy who is nearly 50 (not so far a stretch, I'm 51).... if he's telling you he only wants to be FWB, then he only wants the no-strings-attached sex.
If you think you are old enough to be in a relationship with him,... (read in full...)
How do I ask girls I'm dating to do things to my bum?
Q. This is a super embarrassing question, but here goes: my old girlfriend hada bit of an ass fetish. She used to do things to my bum all the time, and loved it when I did it to her too. Wither her mouth, fingers, sometimes even a dildo. I thought this ...
A. 9 November 2011: "Hey, I'm really open to a lot of sexual stuff and enjoy some anal play on me! I hope you are turned on by that too!"
Don't push anyone's head into your anus; if you don't have the courage to TALK about it, you don't have the privilege of phys... (read in full...)
Should I even try to talk to this guy about my feelings?
Q. Hi people, I have been in a very weird, complicated relationship for two years - I am not even sure it can be called a relationship . I loved the guy and I still do. I respected him and still do. I also think of him as a very good, kind heart...
A. 4 November 2011: I think if you are suffering yourself and just want a resolution to the matter, go ahead and tell him how you feel. Not because you are hoping he will magically change into a loving and caring boyfriend, but because then you will know without a ... (read in full...)
My Facebook posting upset our relationship, what should I do?
Q. I am in an LDR. It has been over a year since we met. Have been struggling a lot. It is more because of self created thoughts of insecurity even when he is honest, loyal and totally committed. I know this also but I just feel jealous of the people ...
A. 4 November 2011: "I felt bad and guilty for this that I have done this out of my sheer insecurity under the cloak of declaring you love to the world."
You feel bad for saying you are dating him? Why would that be a problem?
You are not responsible for whatever... (read in full...)
Any advice on how, to, I don't know, worry less when it comes to relationship issues?
Q. I met an amazing girl online a few months back. I know ALL the issues about online (risks I mean). We talk a lot on the phone too. My worry is that I am too insecure to keep things going until we actually meet. (we don't live too far away...
A. 4 November 2011: Worry less? Stop predicting or hoping for a certain outcome. Just let things happen.
If you are too anxious, talk to your doctor about addressing that issue, there are many ways to deal with that.
In general, here are my tips
Recognize... (read in full...)
He's been extremely annoying with his continual requests for anal sex!
Q. Hey everyone, I have a fantastic boyfriend who I love very much. BUT (isn't there always a but?) he keeps pressuring me to have anal sex with him. I'm happy to do it once a week or so, but every day is too much and it hurts. Also, he doesn't like ...
A. 4 November 2011: Your guy is an ass. Pun entirely intended. I'd break up now and save yourself anal tearing and infection and the embarrassing conversations with the doctor later.
Or you could tear a page out of the Huichol tribe's book (mythical? who knows? it's... (read in full...)
Every time I need to talk to my boyfriend about an issue regarding our relationship he gets defensive and concludes that I have my period.
Q. It seems that every time I need to talk to my boyfriend about an issue regarding our relationship he gets defensive and concludes that I have my period. I now feel that should I have something I want to discuss with him on a serious note, that he ...
A. 2 November 2011: Tell him the next time he deflects you by assuming you are menstruating that you are pregnant with triplets. Maybe that will get his attention.
The point is that he has figured out how to derail you and make your hormones the guilty party in any ... (read in full...)
Am I better off going solo, or should I keep my eyes open?
Q. I've been doing some thinking and I'm really wondering if I am better off alone. This has nothing to do with the fact that I'm just a teenager or that I am too pessimistic. I do want to have a girlfriend, and all that stuff though; I'm just ...
A. 2 November 2011: Rejection, alas, is a fact of life. It's not nice, it's not fun, it's not something anyone looks forward to.... how well do you know the girls who reject you? And what are you looking for in a girlfriend?
My advice, based on your age, is to cont... (read in full...)
I can not handle any more "groupies." Is it him? Or am I a psycho?
Q. I am in a relationship that makes me feel super insecure. I was never ever insecure like this in my life. I was never a jealous person either. Even when I was younger. I am not sure if it is me or my partner. Woman are going after him as crazy. When ...
A. 2 November 2011: You don't feel comfortable enough to laugh and say, 'yes, I'm Hannah, his girlfriend. Isn't he a-DOR-able?" Then give him a wink and a smile.
He sounds like he wants to feel the freedoms of a single man and doesn't want to let the girls know he's... (read in full...)
He's sending me mixed signals! Does he even like me?
Q. So, I need some help with this problem that I'm having involving a boy that I like. Well, it all started last year, I noticed this boy that I thought was very attractive. I never talked to him, but I'd secretly crush on him. So, about 2 months a...
A. 2 November 2011: I think you've taken your best shot at trying to get to know him and he's pretty clearly signaled that he isn't all that interested or bothered to get to know you. He may have a new girlfriend, or lost his phone, or whatever, but he is not taking ... (read in full...)
What do you think she meant by "and modest"?
Q. I'll make this very short... I said. "I may not be a great doctor(I'm really not a doctor),but I'm a pretty super guy. Her response "and modest". Now I know the meaning of the word,but man I'm prolly reading way into this...but she knows I r...
A. 2 November 2011: Without tone of voice or body language and facial expressions, this one is hard to interpret, but I think chigirl probably has it right. That's a bit of a sarcastic comment, really. Maybe stop pushing so hard for admiration? If you like her, ask her ... (read in full...)
He's cheated on me 5 times, and broke up with me, but I want him back because I love him!
Q. Hello Agony Aunts and Uncles. Well i'm having a very hard time moving on from this guy i really love, care about and wanna be with but he broke up with for a very stupid reason. This isn't the first nor the second nor the third time i've been in ...
A. 2 November 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-took-him-to-the-clinic-because-i.html
Is this your previous question?
You had 9 people take the time to answer you and you never gave a followup? I guess you didn't like the answers, so you posted again, hoping f... (read in full...)
We argued, and now he wont reply to my texts and I can't get in contact with him!
Q. I had an argument 3 days ago with my boyfriend of 3 years. It was such a stupid little argument, so supid that i don't see the point in writing it here. After the argument, he walked away and went home. I texted him soooo many times telling hi...
A. 2 November 2011: Go to a payphone (if you can find one!) and call his landline from there. You can pretend to be a charity if his parents answer. Though I have to say, it's a bit odd that you can't simply call his family's home.
Perhaps the silent treatment last... (read in full...)
Dating a man with no confidence!
Q. Hey everyone! I'm unofficially seeing this man. And it's the "unofficial" stamp that prevents me from telling my friends about it, so that's why Im on here instead of asking them for advice. The man I am dating is an insecure one. He has litt...
A. 2 November 2011: If he keeps a toothbrush at your place, you two are having sex and he spends time with you, he's not seeing anyone else, then why is there an 'unofficial' label on the relationship still? If he's keeping you secret, then there's a high probability ... (read in full...)
B/f is always on the phone with me but can't be bothered to see me
Q. Hello Aunts... And uncles ofcourse, please advise me... For 6 months I have been seeing a lovely man who I met through work, we began texting and it all went from there. We began meeting up outside of work every now and again - we don't see each ...
A. 2 November 2011: "Bob, I enjoy our phone conversations, but I am looking for a man to date, and that means actually spending time together in person, not just chatting on the phone. If this is all you are able to offer me, I will be moving on and dating other men. I ... (read in full...)
Does he have masturbation issues?
Q. I am 16 and me and my boyfriend are very much in love and are seirous about our relationship. We haven't had sex but that not an issue, we'd both rather wait till we're older. He said that recently he's been sexually frustrated.- he feels horny all ...
A. 31 October 2011: "Sweetheart, I love going out with you and knowing that you find me attractive. That's nice.
"But, I have to request that tou keep your current frustration and any details of your own personal and private moments to yourself.
"Knowing all your det... (read in full...)
My bf is convinced I'm in love with my friend (which I'm not!) and now he wants to speak to my friend's pregnant and emotional wife to see how she feels about our friendship!!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend (I will name "Ned") for about 17 years. "Ned" broke up with me about two and a half years ago saying I wasn't "the one" and he wanted to find her and didn't want to waste more time with me. I had wanted to get ...
A. 31 October 2011: Ned is an emotional blackmailer as well as a master manipulator of you. I'd say break up with Ned, look for another guy to date and remember that you've invested enough time in a guy who appears to find extemely creative ways of keeping you ... (read in full...)
I've been hoping we'd lead to marriage but haven't seen him since 2008!
Q. I am in a Long distance relationship. I met someone back in 2007 he was here on contract from the states and we worked in the same department for a yr, anyways cut short we started dating and he went back and i promised him i would come to th...
A. 26 October 2011: I'm not surprised the date wasn't a romantic success, you're just figuring out how to navigate a world without the "relationship" you'd tended over the past few years. You've invested a lot of energy, wishful thinking and built hopes on a flimsy ... (read in full...)
What's his aim? He wanted to be on friendly terms after the breakup, now that I'm ready for it, he's being aloof
Q. We had a brief romance, but it was pretty intense while it lasted. At first, he wanted to be friends after, esp since we have to still see each other everyday at work..but I got nasty..that was my fault. Anyway, it was like 6 months ago and he a...
A. 25 October 2011: I guess he was hurt by you being nasty and hasn't been able to forgive you. If he was involved with or started dating another woman he may be keeping his distance because he doesn't want her or anyone else to find out.
Maybe he's been waiting for ... (read in full...)
My friends tell me he's dangerous
Q. dear cupid, i take guitar clases once a week, and i've been with this teacher for over a year. at first he seemed normal, but like he has become really weird now. He calls me stuff like princess and my love... he tells me he loves me and tha...
A. 25 October 2011: Tell a grown up. And make sure your parents ask for their money back. You've encountered your first sexual predator--don't be fooled by his nice guy demeanor, you have a lot of growing up still to do.
Listen to your friends.... (read in full...)
I haven't done anything different but this guy has just stopped contacting! Any ideas why?
Q. So I met this guy about 7 months ago at the gym and he was very nice. We seemed to see eachother there alot and said hi then eventually he added me on fackbook and after a two hour long good conversation, we exchanged numbers. For the past two ...
A. 24 October 2011: Generally when this happens, there's another woman on the scene. Or he's not as interested as he thought he might be and doesn't have the courage to break it off. I would NOT take it personally and just write him off.... (read in full...)
Flatmate has had chance after chance to pull her weight around the house, she is even affecting my partners health but still won't change! What can I do?
Q. My partner and I need some help with an unclean flatmate problem that has just gone too far. We don’t know what to do and need advice. The back-story is this. My partner and I have been together for over a year now, and we live in a flat with o...
A. 24 October 2011: Write up a contract that specifies what the flat cleanliness standards are. Make it reasonable, one glass in the sink isn't the end of the world but leaving it for days is not permitted. If a roommate cannot do her share of the hoovering, dusting, ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me very much, then says he would choose his wife over-how would you react?
Q. I have been having a relationship with a married man for 5 yrs. I know he loves his wife and he won't leave her but he tells me at the same time he loves me very much and wants me and doesn't want to lose me. 2 days back, we had an argument abou...
A. 24 October 2011: I'd laugh in his face and say, "goodbye." Then I'd leave and cut him out of my life because I deserve so much better than that. That's what I would do. Then again, I'd never get involved with a married man. I deserve a guy who isn't a cheater and a ... (read in full...)
I am buying new home and the mortgage lender advised that my name does NOT go on the mortgage!!! Why?!?
Q. Mortgage lender told my hubby to NOT put my name on the title of the home, just put it in his will. That does not sound right, is this normal advice? So once again, we are having relationship problems when I thought we had worked it all out. Wh...
A. 24 October 2011: The reason I ask is if you have bad credit, you may wind up paying more for the mortgage. In some ways, it's better for you not to be on the mortgage, but on the deed, because it means you have rights to the house without the financial ... (read in full...)
I am buying new home and the mortgage lender advised that my name does NOT go on the mortgage!!! Why?!?
Q. Mortgage lender told my hubby to NOT put my name on the title of the home, just put it in his will. That does not sound right, is this normal advice? So once again, we are having relationship problems when I thought we had worked it all out. Wh...
A. 24 October 2011: How's your credit?... (read in full...)
Should I go to a family party, or the fan party for my favourite band that wont happen again until the year after?
Q. I'm not sure which party to go to next march,as they are both on the same weekend.one is a fan party for my favourite band in london,and the other is a party for my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary.i went to another fan party for the band ...
A. 24 October 2011: It depends on which is more of a priority to you: your own personal entertainment or celebrating with your far-flung family a happy anniversary? I personally would regretfully miss the fan party and go to the celebration of 50 years of marriage... (read in full...)
Would a couples therapist be the answer? It destroys me, but she just doesn't get it
Q. I've asked a question on here before about the same thing, but this time its a little less extreme. Basically this question sums up my problem: http://www.dearcupid.org/quest...
A. 22 October 2011: Your girlfriend probably has some deeper issues stemming from her past. She was able to be intimate with you in order to secure the relationship but now that you expect continued sexual contact, her buried issues have risen up and are blocking that. ... (read in full...)
Do I have appendicitis?
Q. MOD NOTE: Poster, I am approving this, but PLEASE understand we are NOT doctors on here and NO ONE can make a diagnosis over the internet. You are just going to get general opinions. I think I might have appendicitis but I can't be too sure. On...
A. 22 October 2011: If you had appendicitis starting in June you'd be so ill you wouldn't be able to post right now.
I think you should get it checked out and stop worrying about bothering anyone. The real bother would be having to deal with an acute attack of some... (read in full...)
How do I get over an affair I didn't want to end?
Q. How do I move on with my life and forget him? We are both married. We work for the same company but different buildings. We had been having an affair for 10 years. I am currently unemployed and have been for a year due to an on the job injury. ...
A. 21 October 2011: With all due respect to the posting aunts, if you want to have a discussion OFF TOPIC, take it off the board and use the private message service. Questions get closed for this type of debate, which is not helping the poster. Seems a pity to have the ... (read in full...)
I feel foolish being a virgin at 21
Q. I feel worthless because me being 21 and a virgin now that I look at it is foolish and pathetic. I was so blinded to actually think I was going to find someone to share myself with but now its really a fantasy. Women my age aren't looking for ...
A. 21 October 2011: I think I see the problem. You're hanging out with the wrong crowd. Change up your friends to those who share your values and you'll be a lot happier and have positive experiences when you talk to people who aren't having sex. If you are religiou... (read in full...)
How sexy should I encourage my wife to dress for Halloween?
Q. OK, so we are going to a Halloween party. Same party we went to last year. Last year there were a few (like 3) fairly sexy costumes. Needless to say, these women got a lot of attention, and I am sure were the topic of conversation among many couples ...
A. 21 October 2011: This is easy: the fashionista rule of thumb for ladies of a certain age is pick ONE sexy feature to show off: breasts, backside or legs. All three and you look desperate, even in a Halloween costume. Save the skimpy dress for the beach.
... (read in full...)
22 year old girl with confidence issues
Q. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have always had huge problems with confidence. My main problem is that i get embarrassed and shy and my cheeks go red. It bothers me so much. Especially when i have to make contact with people or i...
A. 21 October 2011: I have a website for you to try: http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome I have tried it and it has some usefulness and may help you gain some coping skills. Let me know if it is of any use.... (read in full...)
How do I get closure, heal, move on?
Q. I'm struggling to move on from my "first love" ...and its been almost four years. So it happened a month before my 15th birthday. I was so stupid and naive, I thought this guy really loved me and wanted to be with me. In hind sight everything...
A. 21 October 2011: Ah, you never told him how you felt then, or couldn't get him to give you the time to make him understand how you felt?
How old was he when was such an idiot? Same age as you? A year or two older?
I think one thing to consider is how mature h... (read in full...)
22 year old girl with confidence issues
Q. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have always had huge problems with confidence. My main problem is that i get embarrassed and shy and my cheeks go red. It bothers me so much. Especially when i have to make contact with people or i...
A. 21 October 2011: I'll tell you a big deep dark secret of life: most people who seem super-confident are faking it. You just have to learn to do it in a convincing way yourself.
I suggest learning some breathing techniques that will help keep your anxiety at bay,... (read in full...)
How do I get closure, heal, move on?
Q. I'm struggling to move on from my "first love" ...and its been almost four years. So it happened a month before my 15th birthday. I was so stupid and naive, I thought this guy really loved me and wanted to be with me. In hind sight everything...
A. 20 October 2011: "So how do I get closure, do I talk it out with him and get the answers I need or do I just leave it alone and try to fight the fight i've been fighting for almost four years?"
Don't bother trying to get him to give you closure, that has to come... (read in full...)
I've been hoping we'd lead to marriage but haven't seen him since 2008!
Q. I am in a Long distance relationship. I met someone back in 2007 he was here on contract from the states and we worked in the same department for a yr, anyways cut short we started dating and he went back and i promised him i would come to th...
A. 27 September 2011: I think you wanting it to work out is perfectly natural and normal--it's wonderful to find a guy you click with and want to be with. I think that this kind of thing can creep up on us, I mean, you didn't go into this thinking that you wouldn't see ... (read in full...)
I've been hoping we'd lead to marriage but haven't seen him since 2008!
Q. I am in a Long distance relationship. I met someone back in 2007 he was here on contract from the states and we worked in the same department for a yr, anyways cut short we started dating and he went back and i promised him i would come to th...
A. 26 September 2011: I mean is it really difficult for Americans to visit the UK?
It's expensive but....
"I did not ask you to wait for me all those years and i didn't make any promises"! i was shocked and hurt and i feel horrible what was all this then?. I feel if ... (read in full...)
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