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Latest articles:

Gifts

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4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...

An old Uncle muses

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30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...

10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...

Rejection

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...

Wanted: Unattached Male

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...

Confessions of an Agony Uncle

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...

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Am so sexually frustrated that it's destroying me in mind, body, and soul.

Q.   Please give me some advice about how to deal with sexual frustration. I cannot STAND it anymore, I am so sexually frustrated. I have morals, so casual sex is off the table. I need sex so bad that I can't freaking sleep. I am a young woman. ...

A.   5 April 2024: Honestly I think a lot of your problem is that you read too many stories. Writing you a new story will not help your situation, but perhaps a dose of reality will. You claim that Most women don't marry. A quick search finds that 78% of women in ... (read in full...)

Am so sexually frustrated that it's destroying me in mind, body, and soul.

Q.   Please give me some advice about how to deal with sexual frustration. I cannot STAND it anymore, I am so sexually frustrated. I have morals, so casual sex is off the table. I need sex so bad that I can't freaking sleep. I am a young woman. ...

A.   5 April 2024: test... (read in full...)

How can I make my dream a reality?

Q.   I know that this will seem like a silly want to others, but there is something I desperately want. Some women want a baby, some Women want a career, some women want a Gucci bag. I love horses and have always dreamed of learning to ride one, an...

A.   3 March 2024: well, does it have to be a good horse? I live in the western USA and I have relatives who have horses. Some horses are a lot more expensive than others. I also drive past an interesting bit of property that has been up for sale for a few months. ... (read in full...)

Should I allow my son to quit football?

Q.   My youngest son is a junior in high school and has been playing football for his school since the 8th grade (his school is a private school that goes from 5th grade to 12th grade). Justin always loved playing football until recently. Justin ju...

A.   23 February 2024: Ok it's February And this post is from the United states. Junior in High School. Football Season is long over, but football commitment is year round now. Honestly I played my Senior year. I quit (failed to join) My Junior year. The attit... (read in full...)

Am I wrong not allowing my family to stay at my house during the holidays?

Q.   About 20 years ago, I went low contact with my parents and my older brother. My dad favored my brother and expected me to look up to my brother like you would expect to see on TV. My brother ended up thinking it was OK to go into my bedroom and t...

A.   22 November 2023:  "I did break my parents heart that I never accepted their attempts to make our relationship better." What this means is that your father called his brother and complained. You need to stop reading anything else into this. "Am I doing a... (read in full...)

I don't want to be pushed into sex. How do I express I want it to come naturally?

Q.   Hello, I was chatting with someone online for about 5 years. He finally moved to my country. I have seen him several times since he moved here. We get along well, he seems very serious. He reminds me he moved here for me. We haven't had s...

A.   14 October 2023: Exactly how do you see "come naturally not be forced".? This looks like a vague expectation. Have you been in a relationship before where sex just came "naturally"?... (read in full...)

Friend got birth control and lied

Q.   My friend Lex I just found out rode her bike to what's basically an abortion clinic and got birth control. She told her parents she was with me and I almost got in trouble for lying for her when I knew nothing about it. Luckily I was at work like I ...

A.   3 July 2023: I'm a conservative adult parent. My children are now twice your age. So I'm looking at your question from a distant but familiar perspective. I think that your friend Lex has too many people in her life trying to make her decisions for her. She... (read in full...)

How do I convince my parents I just made a mistake and had bad luck and that I haven't been lying?

Q.   Here is a situation: I am not asking legal advice, I'm telling what happened. I was finally allowed to go away to college my Junior Year after I got my Associates in Business Communications. My parents wanted me at home not because it cost money to ...

A.   6 June 2023: " secular college" " I was allowed to stay on x(c)ampus so I checked out a fraternity party. " Having noted a discrepancy in your narrative, I'll continue to advise you. If you want to convince your parents to trust you act like an adult. Take ... (read in full...)

Ex is happy and seems to be rubbing it in my face

Q.   So this is really bugging me. I no longer like the guy to me he’s now unattractive and so arrogant but he treated me really badly and now he gets to be happy and it’s like he’s rubbing it in, how do you just be ok? So I was seeing this guy ...

A.   14 May 2023: Word wall. the best revenge is to live well... (read in full...)

Should my partner not go to the wedding if I am not invited?

Q.   I have been with my live in partner for over 20 yrs. His adult son (32 y/o) still won't accept me and refuses to see his dad if I'm around. The parents were divorces several years prior to our dating. The son has no relationship with his mother. ...

A.   14 April 2023: This one just begs for a math check. You have been with Dad for 20 years. Starting when son was 12 years old. Son spent Summers and School Vacations with dad up to 17 or 18 years old we assume. So five or six summers that you had to be sepa... (read in full...)

Is there anything wrong with me for not wanting to celebrate my birthday?

Q.   My family knows that I hate celebrating my birthday and I expect them to not to make any plans for my birthday. All of my friends know I hate celebrating my birthday and know that I only expect a text message from them that says "Happy birthday". ...

A.   8 March 2023: So the main point I'm getting from your post is that your SIL Brother and nephew, didn't give you any prior notification of a visit on your birthday. They got in the car and started driving and then they thought to let you in on their plans for ... (read in full...)

Odd experience at a house viewing.

Q.   I’m on here to see if anyone else has had odd experiences whilst viewing houses to buy? My fiancé and I are looking to buy our first property, so obviously we didn’t really know what to expect when viewing homes. None of our friends are home...

A.   4 March 2023: Nope, never had an experience like that. Probably the reason why most reputable estate agents insist on showing the house when the owners are not home.... (read in full...)

Does my husband not care for me as I care for him?

Q.   Does my husband not care for me as I do for him. He as high blood pressure and high cholesterol and I ask him if he as checked his blood pressure and taken his tablets for cholesterol nearly every day. Why didn’t he seem concerned why I told him...

A.   21 February 2023: I'm going to write out the long answer to this even though my test post was inconclusive. To answer your first and main question which was, "Does my husband not care for me as I do for him.?" No what you are reporting here does not show that your... (read in full...)

I thought rebound relationships didn't work

Q.   Hello, I am wondering why both of my ex partners have had successful rebound relationships after they broke up with me. The first ex has been with his now wife for over 20 years. Then, my ex husband (of 18 years) discarded me and family for a ...

A.   11 February 2023: I think that we have a bit of trouble with definitions here. If your second ex husband (of 18 years) has only been with his current wife for 5 years that leaves a 13 year gap. There is no way that could be considered a rebound relationship. A... (read in full...)

I thought rebound relationships didn't work

Q.   Hello, I am wondering why both of my ex partners have had successful rebound relationships after they broke up with me. The first ex has been with his now wife for over 20 years. Then, my ex husband (of 18 years) discarded me and family for a ...

A.   11 February 2023: test... (read in full...)

How does an open relationship work for others?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 22 years and sex is still great, but pretty much the same way much of the time. Lately, we have been talking about maybe trying an open relationship and seeing others. We have a very strong marriage and I think ...

A.   9 February 2023: A divorce is usually easier before you open the marriage.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend abused me should I leave him?

Q.   I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for the past 2 years. We had plans to get married and settle down. But we were recently in a 9 month long distance and I was flirtatiously texting some guys which i thought was harmless. There was one guy ...

A.   9 February 2023: I'm pretty much a hard liner on abuse. Every abusive relationship should end as soon as possible with enforced physical separation. I do need to add some definitions in this case. women can abuse. cheating is abuse. retaliatory physi... (read in full...)

Why does this keep happening

Q.   Dont people realize that when they tell someone they need a significant other, try to introduce people together, insinuate that there "might be something" "you never know" "give him a chance" "at least talk to him/call him" etc. that they're ...

A.   25 January 2023: I'm honestly still trying to figure out what the OP wants. I suspect that the "people" she is complaining about are suffering under the same confusion. I'm going to throw out two bit's of advice. Please chose the one that fits you. A) If you a... (read in full...)

Need ideas to sexually embarrass my sister in law without being creepy.

Q.   My sister just got me a mankini with bells and a rednose on the kini part. So in trying to get her back, I want some ideas to embarrass her but not come off creepy. backstory, the family has been together forever and never has been any sexually ...

A.   28 December 2022: This is not a game you can win. To put it bluntly, the only winning move is not to play. In more detail. For western women there is no stigma attached to wearing lingere, to crossdresssing, to being sexually active, and so on. The reason y... (read in full...)

Running out of time

Q.   I just turned 29 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 28 months now we have been living together for a year and 8 months, we have a dog together we both have good jobs and are responsible people. The topic of marriage and children has ...

A.   18 December 2022: As an ensconced member of thr e older generation I have to admit that I'm somewhat confused by your post. You say you are hopeing to get a commitment. You two have been together for 2.33 years. I guess that means you have been sexually and ... (read in full...)

Relationship has soured and my partner is emotionally unavailable

Q.   I have an emotionally unavailable partner. We've been together 18 years. What attracted me to him from the start was his kind and gentle nature. He was (seems ironic now) emotionally caring and my best friend. He ENJOYED spending time with ME. ...

A.   15 November 2022: I suspect that you have misdiagnosed the problem. Generally an emotionally available person does not become emotionally unavailable. I think what you have is an emotional disconnect. He has disconnected from you. Stress or depression could be at ... (read in full...)

Cheating with an unattractive person due to alcohol

Q.   All the names in this story are made up. My female friend Kelly asked me a question: I didn’t know a good answer to give her. Background: Kelly is in a 2 year relationship. Kelly, myself and Devin (guys she slept with- weighs 300 pounds, u...

A.   6 November 2022:  "My female friend Kelly asked me a question: I didn’t know a good answer to give her. ... snip ... She asked me should I tell my boyfriend?" there are two schools of thought on this: A) Telling will only hurt your BF and it is your mistake ... (read in full...)

Is 30 too old to date?

Q.   Hi there, this is my first time posting on here but I see people give really great advice. I am currently going through a divorce with my husband of 9 years. Nothing messy, we have just grown apart over the years and I put that down to being so...

A.   2 November 2022: One Ex partners don't make good friends. Two If twenty one is too young for a relationship, and if thirty is too old to date, you have created an impossibly narrow window to find a partner. My advice: I think you should rethink you assumpti... (read in full...)

My mom found my boyfriend and i's naughty texts

Q.   Hi! I just found out my boyfriends mom went through my boyfriend and I's text (they were not very PG), she found out yesterday and she acted completely normal and even let my boyfriend come to the house but today my Dad asked me if my Mom had ta...

A.   2 November 2022: Here is how a sexually experienced adult views what you two teens are doing. That kind of talk is leading to sex. Are you really ready for sex? What happens when you get physically close to sex? IMHO your dad used the wrong word. he should have ... (read in full...)

How to get over dissapointment of being so close to finding The One?

Q.   I fell in love with a guy who has so many characteristics I am looking for. He is so much of what I’ve hoped to have as a husband but never thought would exist out there. Long story short, he has three big deal breakers to him. These things are...

A.   2 November 2022: Three large things is a lot. I suspect the details would surprise me. But, in the end, I can't recommend you stay with someone with three serious red flags.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's family reunions

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and live together. Both 28 and Asian American. I only have immediate family in the USA, whereas my boyfriend’s entire extended family is in the USA. Long story short, they had their first family reu...

A.   28 September 2022: This sounds pretty familiar to me. Growing up we attended fsamily reunions with my paternal grandmothers family, my paternal grand fathers family, my maternal grandmothers family, my fathers fmily, and my mothers family. when I got married I ... (read in full...)

When is enough enough in regards to cheating

Q.   A man I met once last summer got in touch with me a week ago. He wanted to meet for sex again, we are both married. He had got in touch earlier this summer and said about meeting up and I agreed then didn’t hear from him until now. He said it ...

A.   24 September 2022: I see that the filters are offically off. LOL HP ... (read in full...)

Best years of your life

Q.   What's the happiest years of your life? And not the the happiest years are when you realise you have one kids crap. Generally what was your happiest part of your life. Mine was maybe 18 to 22 and just never seem to be able to do it again ...

A.   14 August 2022: Why you arrogant puppy. You dismiss the joys of others as "Crap". While at the same time trying to relive your Glory Days, Which are so close to now, that you can still taste them. IMO you are to young to be wallowing in the past, and too inex... (read in full...)

Confessions of an Agony Uncle

Q.   On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...

A.   12 June 2022: Just a test post to see how broken the site is.... (read in full...)

I want a baby. I am 13

Q.   Hi um I'm 13 about to be 14 . I want a baby so bad .because I don't have to worry about other pp not loving me cause my child will always be there for me and love me cause I will be there mommy. And I want to make sure my child does not go thru any ...

A.   5 June 2022: Sarhai, Your heart is in the right place. Your goals are admirable. You can best be the parent you want to be by waiting a few years to get started. You are probably tired of being told that. I want to remind you, that I have been through ... (read in full...)

Should I break up with him? I am not so sure if he truly loves me or not.

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend/fiance' for almost 5 years. Things started off amazingly great and he was super loving and attentive. He took me to lots of nice places and bought me some nice gifts. My family and I also gave him nice gifts and took him ...

A.   5 June 2022: It is always hard to respond to such a long post. You feel that you must be missing some important fact. As I read through your story, I come to a completely different conclusion than you did. Because of that, I feel that there is something I am ... (read in full...)

Fell in love with a F boy now I want to move on but don't know how?

Q.   Hello guys! I feel so guilty and stuck in something so messed up I had to talk to somebody but I didn’t know how to so I came here. I fell in love with a f boy so hard I don’t know what to do. We were in the same school but I had to move but now ...

A.   22 May 2022: You haven't even fallen in love yet. You had a crush. ... (read in full...)

My husband wants to recreate our first date

Q.   Hello. Don't know how to explain this one. Been with my American husband since 1998, we met at a burger bar near me. I'm Canadian, he's American, he was here in 1998 for work, had been in Canada for 2 years at the time. He's a US cit...

A.   22 May 2022: So he's feeling romantic, and you are throwing a bucket of ice water on it. Is that going to get you what you want?... (read in full...)

I don't feel the love I used to feel

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now. I was so head over heels in love with him and now my heart don’t flutter and I don’t feel as happy as I used to be. My mind is blank lately. I’m not sure why. I don’t want to breakup. It ...

A.   12 May 2022: This is normal, typical, average. Well lets just say this happens in most relationships. There are two things going on, You are getting used to each other, it's not new and exciting, the end of the Honeymoon phase. Second is that every day ... (read in full...)

Is he only looking for sex?

Q.   Hello, I asked this question a couple of days ago about planning to meet a man I met online http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-he-rushing-things-or-am-i-over.html I've decided to cancel the trip for next month just to see how he'd react to it...

A.   8 May 2022: You only postponed the inevitable for 4 months. You did not clearly communicate. You are giving him hidden tests (S**t tests). If you want to have a romantic relationship, you are going to need to be able to clearly communicate about sex. It i... (read in full...)

Need a sexy costume idea to show off boyfriend's progress.

Q.   My boyfriend and I are going to a history department party with a costume theme of famous couples. Costumes can be somewhat sexy but not X rated. It is mostly faculty members, graduate students, and some undergrad history majors and their ...

A.   8 May 2022: You should probably avoid fairy tails and walt disney if you are going to a history party. Go with Helen and Paris.... (read in full...)

Do I tell my friend about her brother's interest in porn?

Q.   I am a 16 year old female. I borrowed a lap top from my best friend's younger brother. He is 13. He has had a crush on me forever. He would probably jump in a volcano if I said it would impress me. So I used the laptop and did my project,...

A.   5 May 2022: " I am being punished because he was a pervert and a crybaby and said I blackmailed him." . . . "Maybe what I said to him pressured him to get help for his porn problem. Maybe they should thank me." I'm sorry to tell you that no one will ever tha... (read in full...)

Is he rushing things or am I over reacting?

Q.   Hello, I've met a man online about 1 year ago however things have been a bit more serious the last couple of months. He's very nice and respectful and we constantly video chat to create more intimacy. He seems interested in taking things to the n...

A.   2 May 2022: Two side comments. The reason that long distance relationships are difficult to sustain is because there is no sex. In consideration of you age and probable experience level, I would clearly and plainly explain to him before he buys his ticket t... (read in full...)

My husband never initiates sex

Q.   Me and my husband of 2 years hardly have sex. We discussed it before and he said i should initiate it more if that's what i want. I started initiating it here and there, but it doesnt feel natural to always be the one initiating it. So sometimes i ...

A.   2 May 2022: OP asks, "Am i wrong for feeling that way?" This was a really long post and an even longer answer from Emmy. I'm going to chime in because you need more than one answer. First looking at your ages,29, and early thirties, your sex drive as a couple... (read in full...)

Should I forgive my parents for the trauma they've caused me?

Q.   For the last couple of months, my relationship with my parents has been awful. Let me start with the fact that I was raised in a very chaotic and abusive house, however, things have been more calm for the last couple of years but still, my mom does ...

A.   28 April 2022: It's a pretty bad idea for children to be expected to help their parents financially. As to advice for you, when you have some distance you will be better able to determine when and how to forgive your parents. The first step is to get inde... (read in full...)

Do I tell my friend about her brother's interest in porn?

Q.   I am a 16 year old female. I borrowed a lap top from my best friend's younger brother. He is 13. He has had a crush on me forever. He would probably jump in a volcano if I said it would impress me. So I used the laptop and did my project,...

A.   28 April 2022: It's really hard to read your post without judging you. Not for snooping, I'm pretty sure there was no reasonable expectation of privacy. Honestly I don't like the way you handled the conversation with him. It seems to me as a misuse of perc... (read in full...)

Confessions of an Agony Uncle

Q.   On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...

A.   20 April 2009: I just realized that I am doing the same thing not writing back to thank those who posted. Also thanks to all who have sent me private mail. I have been pretty busy since I posted this. with private mail, which I haven't done so much before. The ... (read in full...)

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