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I am on here to listen to your problems, guide you and give you my advice. Some may like what I say, and some may not, but I am not here to make friends. I am simply here because I care about people who need some help with life.

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He is all that I have ever wanted but I feel trapped. Is an open relationship the answer?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we met when we started university. All through these years I've been looking forward to graduating, getting a flat together and settling down. Now I'm coming to the end of my degree and I'm panicking because ...

A.   9 March 2019: Your views are not wrong, and if it is something you want to try then great. However it is clear from your post that this is not the case with your boyfriend. He doesn't care if he hasn't slept around he wants to be with you and only you. You are ... (read in full...)

Who is the cheater?

Q.   If you have a baby with a man and he ditches you and then some years later you meet him again and he goes back to wanting to sex you again and you can't stop wanting to see him and then you find out he already has a girlfriend who he is still ...

A.   28 November 2018: Obviously he is a cheat and the mother off his child is also having an affair with a taken man. Just because they share a child together doesn't mean it is okay to have sex when he is in a relationship. ... (read in full...)

My pregnant best friend and I had a misunderstanding and now she won't talk to me

Q.   My best friend who recently got pregnant stopped talking to me over a small mis understanding. I was having a really shitty day at both personal and professional life and to vent i posted something somewhere..she assumed it was was her and went ...

A.   28 November 2018: I doubt it is all pregnancy related. Yes hormones are raging and fuses are shortened. But it sounds like she doesn't want you part off her life right now. She is probably looking to her future as being a mother and weather the public post was about ... (read in full...)

The guy I'm dating isn't feeling well I don't want to overwhelm him

Q.   I have been dating a guy for 6 weeks. It’s been going very well other than the past month he’s not felt good. He never gets sick, and when he does it’s for a few days. He has been to the doctor 3 times and it has not seemed to help. He’s obviously ...

A.   28 November 2018: It is all still very early days so it is hard to tell you what he is thinking or what the correct way forward is. Is his illness physical or mental? I think the best thing to do is tell him if he needs anything you are more than happy to help him ... (read in full...)

I had to work in a different work area and everyone was so rude. Why?

Q.   Yesterday I had to work in another area at work (just yesterday) due to their understaffing. Not 1 person but the in charge introduced themself, or said hello. why so rude? If I had a different person in my area for one day I’d always introduce...

A.   28 November 2018: Did you introduce yourself to them and try and get to know them? It works both ways. Either way it is only short term so don't let it annoy you. Just get on with your work and hopefully you wont need to be there much longer. ... (read in full...)

We've been together for 5 years and my partner just gets lazier and lazier

Q.   Hi I’m in a relationship have been for 5 years now but my partner is getting lazier and lazier by the day he goes to work which is a very easy job I get up on a morning get our 2 kids up get them ready for school do breakfast get myself ready and ...

A.   28 November 2018: If you both work then you both should be sharing the house chores and also the financial costs. Why on earth are you letting him away with treating the house as a doss house? If he makes a mess he cleans it. If you do all his cooking and cleaning ... (read in full...)

Why would my friend of 20 years spill information about me to my subordinate co-worker that he only met after just 10 minutes?

Q.   Me and my best friend have known each other for 20 years. We are neighbours, we have grown up together. Throughout our lives, we have taken different paths but we always meet again, and things have been fine. I had been working at my job for 3 ...

A.   28 November 2018: You have been friends for a long time so talk to him and tell him what you have heard and allow him the chance to explain what was said. As you said yourself you have only known this person for six months and he could be a complete trouble maker and ... (read in full...)

I tried to make new friends but apparently it isn't working. Where did I go wrong?

Q.   Im at an age where I've lost a lot of friends for various reasons over the years and trying to make more interesting new friends so I msged an aquantance with a common interest and all seemed well and positive. She said she would talk to her ...

A.   28 November 2018: It could be that you came on a bit to strong when messaging her out off the blue. She may have thought you where looking for more than a friendship or she may have simply didn't know how to respond when you asked her and her friends to meet up out ... (read in full...)

Why would a mother do this to her own children? Where do I go from here?

Q.   It will be two years in February since i stopped talking to my mother. Myself and my sister found out she had been telling a lot of strange lies about us behind our backs for years. I always thought the rest of the family and family friends were ...

A.   28 November 2018: That is a question only she knows the answer to. It sounds like your mother is a selfish person and she has gotten used to playing the victim and that didn't change when use discovered the truth. In her head she still felt the victim and still felt ... (read in full...)

I'm lonely and need friends but I am worried that at my age the only friends I may make now will be "messed up" people.

Q.   I am nearly 50 and I am often lonely. I'm a 'high achiever' I suppose. Very highly educated, employed, fairly healthy but very low energy and a history of depression (which I've never told anyone about, but tended to hide, fearing rejection). I ha...

A.   28 November 2018: You don't want to try with people who you think are messed up yet you are messed up by your own admission. My guess is that you are judgmental when it comes to people and you rate yourself as highly intelligent which can come across as ignorance and ... (read in full...)

Heartbreak - What are your best ways of getting over it?

Q.   Hi there, Thank you for choosing my post and taking the time to respond. I ended it with a guy I had been with for two years, after he was abusive and disloyal. Simple question - how do I get over it quickly? I hate heartache so much and he...

A.   28 November 2018: Ok so he was disloyal and he was also abusive so the main thing here is that you finally got out off this toxic relationship. That was a huge step for you to make and you should be proud off yourself for making that decision. Getting over a rela... (read in full...)

Does he love me or just think of me as a sex toy?

Q.   I've been with my bf for 3 years and now I feel like he just wants me for sending him sexy pictures and wants to see me for intimacy he barely even talks about himself like how he's doing, or anything other than spicy pictures and am not sure what ...

A.   2 October 2018: If you feel that he is not treating you right and he only ever thinks about sex and photos then yes you are right to end things. Personally it is your beliefs to not have sex before marriage but that doesn't need to be forced on him as well. There ... (read in full...)

Should I give up on a shy guy? Is he just not that into me?

Q.   I've been friends/acquaintances with a guy for 6 months now. I don't know him all that well but when we talk we would really get on and have a lot in common. He wow make excuses to come chat to me all the time. He's 10 years older than me an...

A.   1 October 2018: Honestly I would just bite the bullet and ask him out on a date. He has told you that he is awkward with women so that is your biggest clue! He doesn't have a clue what to do. I mean you think you have made it obvious but sometimes people just don't ... (read in full...)

Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second?

Q.   Hi all, I went on a first date with a girl last night. We met on a dating website. I am unsure what to do next. She was a nice girl and I think the date went well. It was comfortable and conversation flowed. She said at the end that it felt lik...

A.   1 October 2018: So how did your second date go?... (read in full...)

How to make a recovering alcoholic comfortable at a family holiday event?

Q.   My brother-in-law is a recovered alcoholic. The last time he drank was 11 years ago, when he got so drunk that he is surprised he did not die from alcoholic poisoning (he had to buy a new bad because he woke up with everything covered in vomit). Two ...

A.   29 September 2018: Your parents sound very disrespectful. What they done was selfish and cruel. Now if they where hosting it in there own home then it would be there choice but they never should have accepted the invite if they where going to bring alcohol when asked ... (read in full...)

Do I just forget about it since my partner hasn’t technically said anything wrong to her?

Q.   I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not (as I do tend to) but my partner has a work and personal phone. The other month I had to use his work phone to get a contact and I came across messages over a few days to his female colleague. It was general ...

A.   29 September 2018: You have no right to keep checking his phone and invading his privacy. If you want to see the messages then ASK him. You sound like you are insecure when you feel the need to keep checking up on him. It is not your job to message her or ask him to ... (read in full...)

Is he fully really over me when it’s only been a month?

Q.   Me and my ex were together for 1 year and a bit. It was good for the majority of the time but recently he started acting up. About a few months ago he wasn’t giving me the effort I deserved and only recently he broke it off with me about a month ...

A.   29 September 2018: It sounds like he checked out off this relationship before you did. You might only be broke up a month but it sounds like he was already beginning to think the relationship was over before that he just wasn't sure how to tell you. I think you need ... (read in full...)

Do you think she doesn’t want to see me?

Q.   do you think she doesnt wanna see me? so this all happend last year when i was at work and i went out to the lobby and i saw the girl i used to liked back in high school sitting at the table with her boyfriend i guess she was waiting for her food...

A.   29 September 2018: No it sounds like she doesn't want to see you. Maybe you scared her with your staring and even now when you saw her at the restaurant you kept looking at her, that is enough to scare any girl. You need to keep your distance from her, if you see her ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong for not trusting my man?

Q.   A few months ago I met this guy out of state. We really hit it off and he ended up moving in my state. He has an ex girl that he still has pictures with on social media. When she noticed that he moved to my state she immediately called him then ...

A.   29 September 2018: It is clear that you don't trust what he tells you, and you have no right to go through his phone and invade his privacy my guess is that this is not going to work out.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend spends more time with my dog

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We do live together and for the most part it’s great but, lately he hasn’t really been affectionate. I have 4 dogs but my one female he is particularly close too. Well anyway my problem ...

A.   17 September 2018: Most off us made that assumption because off how you wrote your post. That is all we have to go by to make a decision. Off course nobody knows your life. We advice the best that we can, if we are wrong then yes say so but do it kindly! You say you ... (read in full...)

I want a second child and my husband does not! It’s really becoming a problem for me! Advice?

Q.   My husband and I are at a complete impasse. We have a 3yr old son who is amazing and I feel truly blessed to be his mommy, but I yearn for a 2nd baby! I have felt this way for over a year. And anytime I speak to my husband about it he is very ce...

A.   17 September 2018: I am curious, is children something you both discussed before marriage? I see divorce happening a lot over things like this, when in reality it should have been discussed before marriage so that you are both on the same path in life. I unde... (read in full...)

I feel my mother-in-law is inserting herself into my marriage!

Q.   I love my husband very much, and I love my mom in law too, she's always there for us when we need her but she's also starting to annoy me. She doesn't seem to have boundaries. Btw, she is single. When she first started making me uncomfortable wa...

A.   17 September 2018: I do think you are being over sensitive, you are taking everything she says badly and over thinking it. At the end off the day he is her son, she gave birth to him and raised him to be the man he is today. She recently had a health scare and she is ... (read in full...)

Am I being paranoid about my girlfriend’s interactions at work with this guy?

Q.   I work at a restaurant with my girlfriend. We just got into a big fight which was my fault. So we’ve barley spoken for a few days. I come into work and i notice my gf getting her shirt sleeves rolled up by a guy coworker. Then i see she’s ...

A.   17 September 2018: It sounds innocent to me, I don't know your girlfriend so I am not sure if this is normal behavior for her or not with her coworkers. If its not then she is showing you she doesn't need you in her life. She could be sulking. If you were to blame for ... (read in full...)

I’m pregnant by a boyfriend using me for a green card! Advice needed!

Q.   Hi there I am pregnant 9 weeks I’ve been dating this honderan man for almost two years. My boyfriend has been distant because he wants to get married but it’s to get his green card. He loves me but i am catholic and I want a church ceremony I’m not ...

A.   17 September 2018: Marriage shouldn't be about getting a green card. I am guessing it is a legit relationship but still you should do it properly and the way you always wanted it if it means that much to you. Now you mention that you are a catholic and this is what ... (read in full...)

I am panicked about delivering the eulogy at my dad's funeral service.

Q.   I am giving a eulogy for my dad who passed away on Sept. 11. I am his first born and it is family tradition that the first born delivers the eulogy. I am panicked and afraid I will break down. So many people are relying on me. So, I also feel ...

A.   17 September 2018: I am sorry for your loss. A eulogy is such a lovely and touching thing to do. I do understand your concern as you probably feel the pressure is on you because off the tradition. Either way try not to over think it. Write from the heart about your ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my partner about this encounter I had?

Q.   Hi I’m not proud of what I’m about to write I feel very ashamed I’ve been with my partner for 5 years I went out had a lot to drink and ended up going back to a mans place we had oral but not penetrative sex i think I done it as I’ve been unhappy in ...

A.   17 September 2018: It is your choice weather to tell him or not, but either way you need to end the relationship. You are obviously not happy, you are more room mates than lovers and well you choose to go out and get with someone else so you clearly aren't in love ... (read in full...)

Dating apps and cheating in a long distance relationship

Q.   I have been in a relationship for the past 8 years. It has been long distance since 2014 due to work and family issues on his side. I can work remotely, so have been backwards and forwards from Ireland, where my family lives and where I usually ...

A.   17 September 2018: OP thank you for the update. I am so glad to read that you have done the right thing. It sounds like a light bulb has went off in your head and you can see it all clearly now. I am very happy for you. Off course it is still hard because you had true ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...

A.   17 September 2018: It sounds to me like you are continuously making excuses for him. If this is all in your head and you are paranoid for no good reason then you need to ask yourself why? I mean you posted saying he was on a dating app and now you are saying he ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend spends more time with my dog

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We do live together and for the most part it’s great but, lately he hasn’t really been affectionate. I have 4 dogs but my one female he is particularly close too. Well anyway my problem ...

A.   17 September 2018: It was very immature and cruel to move the dogs out off your bedroom to spite your boyfriend. That just allows the dogs to think that they are getting punished all because you are jealous off a dog! I don't think the dog is the problem here, I thin... (read in full...)

Would it be ok to ask my mum to buy me a vibrator?

Q.   I'm 17 and have the money to buy a vibrator, but I have no way of actually getting one by myself. I don't have any friends old enough to take me some where that will sell them to people under 18, and I don't have a credit/debit card so I can't buy ...

A.   17 September 2018: No please don't! I had a very open and honest relationship with my mother growing up as well, which was great I could talk to her about anything. Yes she got me on the pill and spoke to me when I first got in to a relationship at your age. However ... (read in full...)

How do I get over this anger toward my ex?

Q.   It's been over 3 months since me and my ex broke up. Tonight a mutual friend said he has been really low for a few weeks and that could I talk to him. I had blocked him on everything and although I felt okay, I wasn't sure it was a good idea.......

A.   17 September 2018: I am sorry for the loss off your baby and I am sorry that your partner didn't support you through the toughest time. I get you didn't want to text him and yes your message did show you did not want to help him. However it has been three months and ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mother hates me and my boyfriend takes her side

Q.   Recently I've been feeling distant from my boyfriend, he s not the person I love with. He critisces everything I do and makes me feel worthless, I've tried talking to him about how He s making me feel but he says he doesn't put me down that ...

A.   17 September 2018: He wishes you where a better person? Does that sound like someone who wants to marry you? No it doesn't!! His mother doesn't like you and am sorry to say that she never will. He is always going to side with her so you can't win here either way. ... (read in full...)

Is this older woman manipulating me?

Q.   So basically I need advice about my relationship. Let me give everyone some background info. I started working at my dad's store a few years ago. There has always been this things going on around there that I'm the young kid and learning.. Which is...

A.   17 September 2018: Yes she is manipulating you and you are the butt off all her hateful jokes. This is not okay in a relationship. She might have many reasons to be doing this. In my opinion I imagine she is doing this because she is insecure about dating a younger ... (read in full...)

My progressive hair loss is making me insecure about dating

Q.   Hi all, I'm having a real tough time with my confidence on dates. This has been due to my now significant hair loss. I'm in my late 20's and recently went out with a girl who i'd not seen for almost a year (i'd had to move away for work, but we kept ...

A.   17 September 2018: I highly doubt she ended things because off your hair style. Those are your insecurities and probably something many people wouldn't even notice. Holding on to a relationship can be difficult when you have no self esteem or confidence. That is ... (read in full...)

I feel I am not loved even though he says he does love me

Q.   I've been with the same person for almost 6 years. he has never been super loving or supportive. but the last 2 years it seems like he is ignoring me more. we have had sex the entire relationship maybe 20 times. so sex less than 1 time a month. he ...

A.   17 September 2018: Well just because he is not abusive doesn't mean you should settle for being with him. You sound really unhappy and it amazes me that you have stayed with him for six years. Do you not feel that you deserve more? Surely you want to be with someone ... (read in full...)

My mother in law brings strange men into our home

Q.   Hi guys, I've been having a bit of a problem at home. Basically my husband's father has recently died and that left his mother on her own. Because of this we agreed to move her into the spare room at our house - but it's a nightmare. She's 60 ...

A.   17 September 2018: While I do feel sorry for your mother in law as it is obvious this is the way she is dealing with her grief it is NOT okay what she is doing. If I was you I would be furious as well. It is not okay to bring strangers in to your home when you have ... (read in full...)

Our tastes in porn seem to clash

Q.   Hello. Thank to you for reading my post. When me and my boyfriend got together he mentioned porn use a few times casually. And from time to time he's admitted to using it for masturbating during our brief periods away from each other. I thou...

A.   17 September 2018: Not all men are the same, you seem to think all men want the same thing and you cannot understand his point off view. Communication is really important in a relationship so therefore talk to him and ask him his point off view on it. If he is ... (read in full...)

He says he can't predict how he will feel in the fututre

Q.   I’ve been with my bf for 6 months it’s all going well we love each other a lot and planning on moving in in a month. He’s 30 and only had a handful of short term relationships (9 months max - he’s a commitment phobe and has never felt previous ...

A.   17 September 2018: This is the thing with life, none off us know how we are going to feel down the line. You could be the one in a few months finding yourself not as interested any more. That is the thing with relationships nobody can tell the future. He is voicing ... (read in full...)

We had sex and now I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks. Did he like me?

Q.   Did he liked me? We met off Tinder? I met a guy off tinder a month half go. I am 28, he is 30. He messaged me first and I suggested meeting right away. He said okay and we met and it weird first a little because I was attracted to him and felt shy...

A.   17 September 2018: Having sex (not making love) on the second meeting would suggest to most people that it was only a hook up. You left quickly so he might off thought that you weren't that interested or maybe he just wanted a hook up. None off us on here can be sure ... (read in full...)

My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past

Q.   Hi there I ended my marriage a year ago due to domestic violence. I was married for 10 years and have 2 children out of this marriage. I'm in a long term relationship with this wonderful man - very caring, sympathetic, logical and strong minded p...

A.   17 September 2018: You only left your marriage a year ago so I am unsure how this can be described as a long term relationship. Also you left an abusive marriage (well done in finding the strength to do so). But what is worrying me now is he is showing signs off abuse ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...

A.   10 September 2018: You could ask him yes, but he could also spin you a load off lies. If he is on there to check if you are then there is obviously no trust in the relationship and it is doomed anyway. Sweetie relationships shouldn't be like this. The biggest thing is ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong for not trusting my man?

Q.   A few months ago I met this guy out of state. We really hit it off and he ended up moving in my state. He has an ex girl that he still has pictures with on social media. When she noticed that he moved to my state she immediately called him then ...

A.   8 September 2018: This is a lot off drama for a guy you have only met a few months ago!! He made a joke and you argued about it? Honestly that was a bit of a over reaction don't you think? Are you always this sensitive when you meet a new guy? You need to relax a bit ... (read in full...)

Dating apps and cheating in a long distance relationship

Q.   I have been in a relationship for the past 8 years. It has been long distance since 2014 due to work and family issues on his side. I can work remotely, so have been backwards and forwards from Ireland, where my family lives and where I usually ...

A.   8 September 2018: Honestly I am amazed that you are still with him. The first time he lied to you I would have been out that door. It is as clear as day that he has no respect for you, it is him not his colleague or friend. You know deep down he is a liar, I could ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...

A.   8 September 2018: End it. He is lying to you and obviously looking for another partner. He is more than likely staying with you until he someone else comes along that he has more interest in. Don't allow him to treat you like this, you deserve so much better.... (read in full...)

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