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Does a man call a woman a bad word because of how he sees her physically?

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Question - (11 March 2017) 9 Answers - (Newest, 16 March 2017)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Do men call women wh..res because they think they are ugly ? Is it because it's thought a woman is not attractive enough to be appealing enough for a man to want to date and marry that she would have to sell herself sexually in order to survive alone

The name calling of wh...re as horrible as it is always makes me think of an unattractive woman and recently I was called that . I think it reveals how someone sees a woman as I know this person knows I don't sleep around least of all get paid for it

Of course I also realise it's a sign of disrespect but I'm curious about how the choice of that word in particular may reflect on how they see a woman physically as opposed to say calling me a bi..h of something else offensive.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (16 March 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntNo I don't think it is associated with a woman who is not good looking, I have saw models get called whores. I guess it comes from a place off anger more than anything to do with the actual woman. Either way it is vulgar and nasty.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 March 2017):

Honeypie agony auntNo, it's not just UGLY women who get called whores. It's all and every woman who crosses path with a man (or woman) who lacks respect for the female gender.

When used, (in most cases) It's MEANT to make the woman feel LOW and bad about herself.

I don't think ANY of the derogative terms are used ONLY in specific settings. IF someone wants to HURT you verbally they will use ANY word they think will upset you. THAT is what people do.

Unless it was meant in jest (yes some people call each other bitches, hoes, whore, sluts as a term of "endearment". ( Think, Mean Girls, Rivervale insert another tv shows) I'd take a good hard look at who said it and NOT spend time, energy or effort staying friends, acquaintances or anything else with said person.

This is not about you OR your looks... it's about someone being disrespectful.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2017):

Name-calling and the use of derogatory language is meant to belittle or insult. You can take it anyway you want, but it comes from anger and intended to inflict emotional and psychological pain. If you're over-sensitive and/or abused, it can do a lot of emotional and psychological damage over time.

You may have sensitive areas and take certain words in the wrong context; but if it's used, the intent is negative and it could have many meanings and cover a lot of areas. Apply it to whatever area you think hurts the most.

Angry and frustrated people hurl words with no thought or concern of how they're taken; as long as they hurt. Being human, you'll apply the angry words to hit every sore-spot you have; even when you know they're not true.

If your were referred to as a whore, it is mainly used for the purpose of devaluing and degrading a person. Male or female, mostly females.

The predominant or core meaning or purpose of calling a person a whore, refers to their low character, lack of self-respect, or lack of dignity. It's commonly used at women, and its implications denote the lowest in human behavior; and doesn't really have anything to do with looks.

It can refer to heavy make-up, provocative clothing; or just someones loose morals and trifling attitudes. That word covers a lot of ground, but there is also an actual dictionary definition. How it applies, all depends on what the user has in mind at the time.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (11 March 2017):

Garbo agony auntIn the "urban" setting the word bitch is assigned to a female nearly by default implying stubborn verbal nastieness with which a man can never either get a word in or get any reasoned settlement.

By contrast, word whore is assigned to a female with sexual past, like too many boyfriends, frequent sexual encounters with different men and willingness to have sex with men she just met. The word implies that the woman does not have qualities of trust and her ability to stay loyal to a man is zero.

These are generalities and like anything societal there is always an exception which does not violate this rule... nor do these have anything to do with the looks.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2017):

It is a swear word often said by men in anger to a woman who puts obstacles in their way. For example he wants a loan from a bank and the female manageress says no or makes excessive conditions to give the loan so he calls her a whore but not to her face. Often after leaving the bank.Like all swear words it shouldnt be said to a woman but it has nothing to do with a womans beauty. I have heard it said to very beautiful women in anger.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (11 March 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt No, I don't think that the word whore has been used with any connection whatsoever to physical beauty , or lack of the same.

Insults are expressions of rage, frustration , pent up aggressivity, and the wish to cut you down to size. You don't have to take them literally in most cases. They are not particularly related to anything, but the willingness of the offender to hurt you and humiliate you ( "...if you let them; but don't you let them .. " as the old James Taylor song goes " ).

Of course this person knows that you do not sell your body for money !, even when he called you a w..re. Same as, had he called you a b..ch, he would have been fully aware that you do not bark and do not shed fur, or if he had called you a s..t , that you do not have at all the smell and colour of fecal matter.

So, no need to look for hidden meanings in insults. They are not the expression of how the person actually sees you, just the expression of how immature and ignorant they are when dealing with THEIR feelings of frustration/ anger / disappointment.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (11 March 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony aunt

This says more about the person using this word than it does about the person at whom it is aimed. I know men who think any woman who won't sleep with them is a wh**e. The world is full of wh**es in their eyes, lol!

I find it very sad that any man needs to use this term when referring to a woman. It does not make them a bigger man. In fact, it makes them just sound like trash. The only time I can half understand its use is if the woman has cheated on the man and hurt him badly.

In your shoes I would not lay any great significance on someone describing you in this way, except to realize that, in some way, you have got under their skin and they need to insult you in this way to redress the balance.

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (11 March 2017):

I've heard men use that term and it is usually in a wholesale fashion. To listen to them, every woman is a wh..re, and they all want sex with her but meaningless sex. Some of them find relationships and then all women except for theirs is a wh..re.

I think they use the term because they've have issues with past rejections and just want to put women down. Personally, I find this just awful...about the same as using the "N-word." When I hear these comments, I automatically know that the person speaking them will never be in my circle of friends.

It sounds like you've encountered one of these men. You know you are not a wh..re, and your friends and anyone important in your life knows you aren't one. The man who said such a thing is an idiot and what he says really doesn't matter. Have nothing to do with him.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (11 March 2017):

YouWish agony auntYou're right about it being disrespectful and uncalled for. I don't ever agree with that word being used in any circumstances, because no matter what or how it's used, it's a word primarily used to shame women, and it invokes misogyny when a man is calling a woman that, and it's worse when women call each other that.

Usually, that's not a word to denote "ugliness" in appearance. It usually is used to shame a woman who likes casual sex, or a woman who either cheats on her partner, OR she's the "Other woman" and sleeps with married men (or women, the point is that she sleeps with people who already have partners).

Some guys have used it when they're rejected by a woman to try to hurt them back for rejecting them, as in "You won't go out with me? Well, you're just a whore anyways", which is a very disgusting thing to say.

Women use it when they are tearing down other women, and they're especially cruel with that term, calling women who may dress provocatively this word, or one who sleeps with co-workers on a casual basis, or like I said, the "Other woman". It's a bully tactic to be sure.

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