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My Gf is 14 and I'm 17. Once I turn 18 and she turns 15 will it still be ok to date her? Can't find an answer anywhere

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Long distance, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 April 2017) 8 Answers - (Newest, 12 April 2017)
A male United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hello, I am currently in a relationship with an absolutely amazing girl for 4 months and we are going to the same school, and we live in Washington state but at the end of this school year she has to move to the other side of this same state but I had been curious as to if we would still be allowed to date.

She is 14 years of age and turning 15 in a few months I had been wondering if I could still be dating her when I turn 18 in December.

When that time comes can we still be together when I will be 18 and she will be 15.

I couldn't find the answer to this question on any other websites. Please help me.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (12 April 2017):

YouWish agony auntYou're from Washington State?? You're *REALLY* lucky you're in that state, because the age of consent plus exceptions based on age and circumstance varies wildly and greatly from state to state.

I'll spell it out for you here as well, but here is my source, and it looks like it's GOOD news for you:

http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/washington-age-of-consent-lawyers.html

Here's a snapshot for you...

1. Age of consent in Washington state is 16.

2. In the case of high school students, the spread is different, meaning if she were 12-13 years old, she can legally consent to someone up to 3 years older or less.

3. If she is 14-15, the law allows her to legally consent to someone who is 4 years older or less, meaning 18-19.

You, being 3 years older than she is, when you turn 18 and she turns 15, you fall under the "both are teenagers" exception to the statutory rule, because you are within the 4-year spread.

When she turns 16, that's Washington's age of consent, and then the age spread won't matter anymore.

So your answer is - it will be okay. But listen - go SLOW when it comes to sex. My recommendation is - just to be on the safe side and avoid any federal issues, wait until she is 16.

These laws apply to Washington state. If you have sex with her outside of state lines, you are subject to both federal consent laws plus the laws in the new state, which could have you charged as an 18 year old with statutory rape if she's 15. See what I mean??

Here are the worst states to be in:

http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/statutory-rape-the-age-of-consent.html

Meaning, NO TRIPS with your girlfriend to California or Vegas or Florida or Texas, or your life is ruined. Those are Age 18 or Age 17 with ZERO year-spread, meaning if you're 19 and she's 16, then you're getting treated as a rapist sex offender in California if you get caught with her there.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (12 April 2017):

Ivyblue agony aunt I assume your talking sex right? Ask the police/legal what the deal is with the laws in your state. 3 years is not a big age difference in general but once you are legally an adult and she is still a minor then the law is the law and jail time is jail time.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (12 April 2017):

chigirl agony aunt*If 16 is the age of concent in your state, then I correct my answer to this. You can not have sex with her until she is 16. But you can date her all you want.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (12 April 2017):

chigirl agony auntYes, of course you can still date her. But just like now, you can not have sex with her as you are both under age, and even when you turn of age at 18, you still can not have sex with her as she is not yet of age. So you will have to wait with going anywhere further than holding hands and kisses until she is 18 and you are 21.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (12 April 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntAs long as it isn't sexual until after she's 16, then yes, it's legal. However, as mentioned, regardless of how mature she seems, she is still a child and you need to be careful.

If she starts wanting a sexual relationship with you, you *must* refuse until she's 16. If she won't wait that long, you still have to say no, even if she says she'll break up with you. As you are older, you need to be the responsible one. Even if she says she's ready, she's not.

To be honest, OP, 3 years is a big gap at your ages. She's only just starting out as a teenager and you're nearly an adult. She'll be in school until you've almost finished university.

Your relationship must not be kept secret from her parents or yours, even if they disagree with it. Part of being mature and responsible enough is not hiding it, especially when one of you is a minor.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (12 April 2017):

Tisha-1 agony auntI don't have children but my mother and father did, and they had a lot to say about my "dating."'

Does the word "dating" mean "having sexual contact with"?

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (11 April 2017):

Fatherly Advice agony auntThis "YOU are dating a child, OP - she is 14." especially This.

Girls her age think it is so cool to date a guy your age, but next year when you are in university, Who is going to take her to Homecoming? Not the boys in her class who she has been snubbing all year. Or are you going to leave a university weekend, to travel across a large state to go to a dance at a strange high school?, Then drive back Alone?

Even if you could pull this off it's a bleak future for both of you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 April 2017):

Honeypie agony auntAs long as you keep SEX out of the picture, SURE.

In Washington State, the age of consent for sex is 16 years old. At this age, a person can consent to sex with any adult, regardless of the age difference between them.

So UNTIL she turns 16 she is a minor and YOU could be labeled a sexual offender - or with corrupting a minor.

Washington DO NOT have am close-in-age exemption AKA "Romeo and Juliet laws" - where it's PERMITTED that a 15 year old can have a sexual relationship with a 16/17 year old. DOESN'T matter if her parents and YOUR parents are OK with it. It's not legal till she is 16.

Individuals aged 16 or younger in Washington are not legally able to consent to sexual activity, and such activity may result in prosecution for statutory rape.

YOU are dating a child, OP - she is 14.

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