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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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How do I get my boyfriend to stop abusing his ex?
Q. My boyfriend wont stop texting his ex and calling her names he tells me he hates her and everything n he doesnt have her number but he keeps texting her, im friends with her and she tells me, he tells me not to talk to her. I talk to her behi...
A. 27 January 2011: He sounds like a very immature and ridiculous person. I would let him go and talk to your parents about this. This is beyond your ability to deal with and it's time to talk to an adult who can help. Take care.... (read in full...)
What do I do with his sweater?
Q. Dear cupids: There's this guy who I really like; so far we're just friends, but a few days ago we were hanging out and he gave me his sweater to wear home cause it was cold out. Now, I'm (secretly!) a little bit shy, awkward and unfamiliar...
A. 10 December 2010: Sounds like a good idea. :D... (read in full...)
Should I get even with my ex?
Q. Hi , Here's a question for all you guys and girls. Whats the best way of revenge on an ex. My girlfriend of two years who I was extremely loyal and faithful to had an affair with two different guys. I don't mean just sex ... she was in an emotio...
A. 9 December 2010: Good for you to move on with some dignity and grace. Get some friends to help so moving out goes very quickly. You can write a letter to her, maybe better than an email, as she could forward that all over really easily. I personally would simply ... (read in full...)
My dad got mad because I wrote a guy's initials and a heart on my hand?
Q. ok so my dad just pissed me off...i didnt know where else to go to get my mind off it and get some advice. i have a friend named Jared who i REALLY like. he likes me but the thing is he has 3 other girlfriends and im afraid to get hurt. and also ...
A. 9 December 2010: I can see why your Dad feels overprotective of you. You're kind of gullible. Oh well, no doubt you'll grow out of it eventually!
Take care!... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mother in law I find her sexy?
Q. I'm 28 and very sexually and emotionally attracted to my mother in law. she is 45. I have known her for 8 yrs and we get along very well. she knows I check her out every chance I get and has never said anything, she has checked me out before and ...
A. 8 December 2010: Look, everyone has pretty well told you that there is no good way to tell her. If you want that advice, it looks like you will have to find another site. Take care!
... (read in full...)
Secret relationship with much younger sister-in-law
Q. I am 42 year old married man. I am very close to my 18 year sis-in-law. She is bubbly and jolly in nature. She is very fond of me. She allows me to hugg, kiss and touch her boobs. She often says she loves me.I too say same. We enjoy a flirting ...
A. 8 December 2010: You know, it is interesting the number of questions we get from posters with Indian flags that concern family incest type stuff. There appears to a fascination with it in that area of the world.
Cheating on your spouse is never a good idea in any ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mother in law I find her sexy?
Q. I'm 28 and very sexually and emotionally attracted to my mother in law. she is 45. I have known her for 8 yrs and we get along very well. she knows I check her out every chance I get and has never said anything, she has checked me out before and ...
A. 8 December 2010: CindyCares raises a good point. The aftermath. Being a laughingstock is generally a bad career move. "Why'd they break up?" "He went after his mother-in-law." "OOOhhh, juicy! Is anybody THAT stupid?" *laughter*
... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mother in law I find her sexy?
Q. I'm 28 and very sexually and emotionally attracted to my mother in law. she is 45. I have known her for 8 yrs and we get along very well. she knows I check her out every chance I get and has never said anything, she has checked me out before and ...
A. 8 December 2010: " No I didnt forget about my wife but feel its worth the risk. i think abut being with her all the time."
Ah, if this is the OP, you definitely need to see someone in the mental health counseling capacity. Obsessive thoughts and inappropriately risk... (read in full...)
This was a big mistake wasn't it?
Q. Hoe stupid of me was this? My boyfriend has been bugging me for forever about having 2 girls give him head. I finally said no its never gonna happen if you want it so bad go do it with 2 other girls. He took this literally! I mean I love him so much ...
A. 8 December 2010: The mistake was in not realizing the guy is just looking for some condoned sexplay outside your relationship. He's not so lovable in my books--more like a selfish guy who cares more about his penis that your well-being.
There are many quality men ... (read in full...)
He always enjoys the sex but I don't!
Q. i have a problem, and i dont know what to do about it.... my boyfriend and i... ugh im not pleasured by our sex... BUT HE ALWAYS IS. i dont know how to tell him that im not because i dont want to make him do something he doesnt want too. but its ...
A. 8 December 2010: Hi there! I've read your other responses to questions and it sounds like you are still very young and inexperienced.
To tackle this particular question, I have to ask you one first. Have you ever experienced an orgasm? Can you give yourself one?... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mother in law I find her sexy?
Q. I'm 28 and very sexually and emotionally attracted to my mother in law. she is 45. I have known her for 8 yrs and we get along very well. she knows I check her out every chance I get and has never said anything, she has checked me out before and ...
A. 8 December 2010: Forgot to say, NO, don't tell your mother in law you find her sexy. That's inappropriate and will lead her to think that her daughter has married a sexual predator, a cheat, a fake, or a freak. None of which are desirable son-in-law qualities.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mother in law I find her sexy?
Q. I'm 28 and very sexually and emotionally attracted to my mother in law. she is 45. I have known her for 8 yrs and we get along very well. she knows I check her out every chance I get and has never said anything, she has checked me out before and ...
A. 8 December 2010: If she's caught you ogling her, she knows you think she's sexy. No need to spell it out, really. That's enough of an ego boost for the mother of your wife, no doubt. It's one thing to be desired by a younger man. It's entirely different to have your ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to stop abusing his ex?
Q. My boyfriend wont stop texting his ex and calling her names he tells me he hates her and everything n he doesnt have her number but he keeps texting her, im friends with her and she tells me, he tells me not to talk to her. I talk to her behi...
A. 8 December 2010: How old is this guy? He sound extremely immature and I know he has a lot of growing up to do, but being nasty and ugly to someone is wrong no matter how old you are. He is a bully, based on what you've written here.
You can't control his beha... (read in full...)
Should I get even with my ex?
Q. Hi , Here's a question for all you guys and girls. Whats the best way of revenge on an ex. My girlfriend of two years who I was extremely loyal and faithful to had an affair with two different guys. I don't mean just sex ... she was in an emotio...
A. 8 December 2010: You can't teach life lessons to people who are selfish and oblivious. It's like hitting your head on a blockwall. It's a waste of your time and energy to try. Your anger is justified but continuing to fan its flames and amplifying it will ultimately ... (read in full...)
Cheated but it was protected sex, now I am pregnant but don't know who this father is!
Q. I had protected sex during my ovulation week. I had a lot to drink that night and it was a big mistake. But at least we used a condom and correctly. But i have a boyfriend that i had been trying to have a child with. And we have unprotected sex all ...
A. 8 December 2010: The mature and obvious answer is that no one can determine who fathered the baby. That would require a DNA test.
The probabilities favor your boyfriend being the father. But it's not 100%.
What would a mature and thoughtful woman do about this?... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin?
Q. pls help me out, am a 17 years pld virgin and my boyfriend put his hand inside me which really hurt me and later i saw blood coming out. my question is ,am i still a virgin? pls i need answer urgently.thanks...
A. 8 December 2010: Is your hymen intact? Probably not, after that incident. His entire hand? That's FAR too rough and FAR too aggressive. Make sure he understands that. If it hurts, tell him to STOP.
Are you a virgin? If it had been a penis, you would no longer be c... (read in full...)
My husband likes for me to sleep with other men, I feel like I'm cheating!
Q. Hey, My husband likes me to sleep with other men. It turns him on and is his greatest fantasy. At first I thought it was really strange but I found I actually really enjoy it too. Only thing is that I generally meet these guys out in pubs and club...
A. 8 December 2010: You've had answers that cover the 'am I bats' portion of your question so I don't need to go over that ground again but I do have to mention the risks of STIs.
Multiple sex partners means you are exposed to STIs, basically. You are meeting guys at b... (read in full...)
Is this a move that alot of women put on men?
Q. So we just started to date, we're entering our 4th month now and at first we agreed to have a casual relationship, but now she is starting to fall for me (so she says) and is asking me to become exclusive with her.. I'm noticing that she's been very ...
A. 8 December 2010: I wish for you the gifts of compassion and empathy. Take care.... (read in full...)
What do I do with his sweater?
Q. Dear cupids: There's this guy who I really like; so far we're just friends, but a few days ago we were hanging out and he gave me his sweater to wear home cause it was cold out. Now, I'm (secretly!) a little bit shy, awkward and unfamiliar...
A. 8 December 2010: Give him a call or a text (I HATE how much communication is done without actually speaking these days) and say nicely, "hey, I have your sweater! Let me know how or when I can get it back to you."
Pretty simple. Good luck.... (read in full...)
He said it is only me that has to change!
Q. A couple days ago, I opened up again to my husband how his relationship with this female coworker makes me uncomfortable. He always says that I'm just jealous maybe a little bit but that's not the whole story. He txt or chat with this girl more than ...
A. 7 December 2010: You don't have anyone you can talk to about this? That's not healthy! A close friend, a family member, a therapist, someone who can help support you and give you sanity checks is essential!
Good luck to you, I hope it all works out for you.... (read in full...)
Is this a move that alot of women put on men?
Q. So we just started to date, we're entering our 4th month now and at first we agreed to have a casual relationship, but now she is starting to fall for me (so she says) and is asking me to become exclusive with her.. I'm noticing that she's been very ...
A. 7 December 2010: Sounds like you already know what to do about this. So when are you telling her?... (read in full...)
He told other girls I was good at giving blow jobs?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months and I can honestly say we love eachother. He has told me since the begining that I give awesome blowjobs. Today we were joking around and I asked if he ever told anyone how good I am. He said yes I told 2 ...
A. 7 December 2010: Were these girls hitting on him? Maybe he told them that (misguidedly) to get them to back off?
I think it's okay to tell him that bothers you. Maybe a nice gentle discussion about boundaries and what the ground rules for sharing intimate deta... (read in full...)
Is this a move that alot of women put on men?
Q. So we just started to date, we're entering our 4th month now and at first we agreed to have a casual relationship, but now she is starting to fall for me (so she says) and is asking me to become exclusive with her.. I'm noticing that she's been very ...
A. 7 December 2010: Look, this poor woman hasn't figured out that sleeping with the guy doesn't guarantee that he's going to fall for her. She's confused and unhappy because the last guy she got freaky with didn't fall for her. So she's gun-shy now. You want her to get ... (read in full...)
He said it is only me that has to change!
Q. A couple days ago, I opened up again to my husband how his relationship with this female coworker makes me uncomfortable. He always says that I'm just jealous maybe a little bit but that's not the whole story. He txt or chat with this girl more than ...
A. 7 December 2010: I would go to counseling without him. Here's what I would say in your situation.
"Honey, things have not been right between us for some time. I am feeling disrespected, neglected, overworked, underappreciated, mocked, abandoned and betrayed. This... (read in full...)
We have anal sex one time, and now he always wants it!
Q. i am kinda having an issue that i don't know how to address. me and my boyfriend tried anal a couple weeks ago. i was afraid at first but i was surprised that i actually liked it. but the problem is now that seems to be all my an boyfriend wants! i ...
A. 7 December 2010: "Babe, I need to talk to you about something that has begun to bother me. I'm concerned if I don't address it now and make myself clear, you may wind up with assumptions that aren't true and I'll wind up resenting you. I don't want either those ... (read in full...)
How do I handle the tension with my teacher?
Q. I have strong feelings for this teacher, and i think she found out... She now tries to ignore me and we make way less eye contact than before, when we use to find ourselves staring into each others eyes intensely. I don't know how to act infront of ...
A. 7 December 2010: Get on with your schoolwork and try to ignore it. The tension is probably her being terrified that she's going to lose her job. And she's right.
Ask to be transferred to another class if you are having problems with this and I think it's a good idea... (read in full...)
Why can't I orgasm when we have sex?
Q. when me and my bf have sex i just cant seem to orgasm. he alwas gets off before i can even come close to it. is there something wrong with me?...
A. 7 December 2010: Nothing wrong with you. You're just in the majority of women who do not orgasm through intercourse. It's likely that you need clitoral stimulation and are not getting it.
Think of it this way, would he orgasm if nothing stimulated his penis? Prob... (read in full...)
A year and a half later and I have yet to meet my online love!
Q. I'm in love with a girl 11 years younger than me, (same age as my ex-wife) I met her on the internet about a year and a half ago. We met on youtube, and started communicating via email, then chat, then phone conversations. She lives two states away ...
A. 7 December 2010: Okay. I'm going to be a bit pragmatic and practical and blunt here. You are love with a girl you've never even been in the same room with? Hm. I'm sure she's fabulous and wonderful and spectacular and all that.
The reality is that neither of you ... (read in full...)
Want a baby, but what about the risk of STD's?
Q. ok. what if you don't want to get STD's but u want 2 get pregnant. what do u do?...
A. 7 December 2010: Reputable sperm banks test their donors for STDs. If you don't have a partner but want to get pregnant, go find a sperm bank that is appropriately licensed, accredited and inspected by the health department or state.
Hope things work out for you.... (read in full...)
My wife wants a threesome with my co worker
Q. I am a bisexual man who has been married to a wonderful woman for 14 years. I am also having a sexual relationship with a man I work with. My wife knows about this relationship, but now she wants to join us for a threesome. I think this is wrong, ...
A. 7 December 2010: Maybe she's hoping the other guy will give her pleasure? I guess the real question is why you think we will be able to tell you what she's thinking. We can only guess. She can tell you why it would work from her perspective. Isn't it hers that ... (read in full...)
Can my boyfriend's laziness be cured?
Q. I'm just going to jump into this because I hate long intros. My boyfriend of 2 years constantly forgets to pick up after himself. He leaves clothes all over the floor, trash everywhere, always forgets to do the few chores I've put him in charge of, ...
A. 7 December 2010: I'd tell him that I'd hired a cleaning lady to help tidy up, that she comes in a couple of times a week while he's at work and his share of the upkeep weekly is $75, payable in cash every two weeks.
Send all his laundry to the drycleaners, and forg... (read in full...)
My dad got mad because I wrote a guy's initials and a heart on my hand?
Q. ok so my dad just pissed me off...i didnt know where else to go to get my mind off it and get some advice. i have a friend named Jared who i REALLY like. he likes me but the thing is he has 3 other girlfriends and im afraid to get hurt. and also ...
A. 7 December 2010: ok so my daughter has decided that I just pissed her off...i didnt know where else to go to get my mind off it and get some advice. she has a friend named Jared who she thinks she REALLY likes. this unknown guy has convinced her that he likes her ... (read in full...)
While drunk I acted disrespectful to my boyfriends parents!
Q. lastnite i was told i had acted very disrepectfull to my bfs family cople that i did not know about it because i was to drunk to know what i had done...the couple are very nice sweet loving ppl i would never would do anything to disrespct that but i ...
A. 6 December 2010: It would also help if you went to an alcoholic anonymous meeting so that you could say you are seeking help for your drinking problem. Go to one a couple of times. The people there have had experience in apologizing to people they have harmed in one ... (read in full...)
Think my husband is having gay encounters
Q. Help! I recently discovered an email account I did nopt know about which led to Craigs lists postings I did not know about. Long story short, my husband of 18 years had communications with other men over a period of 4 months while travelling. He ...
A. 6 December 2010: Wow, he's threatening suicide? This is beyond me, honestly I would tell your therapist about his threats and the gun/bullets thing. Maybe he feels his world is imploding and has no way to cope.
The meeting up with a man would be pretty clear evid... (read in full...)
No, means no!
Q. I met this guy when I was walking home from university the other night, we talked and I ended up getting his number. Last night he came over to my place to "hang out" and he all but told me he loved me! We did kiss, and he seemed to want more as ...
A. 6 December 2010: Ah, just saw your followup! Thanks for checking in. He never asked you out, just a bunch of texts and you invited him over? Ah, my dear, that is not a promising start. A guy who is genuinely interested in you will make an effort to take you on a ... (read in full...)
No, means no!
Q. I met this guy when I was walking home from university the other night, we talked and I ended up getting his number. Last night he came over to my place to "hang out" and he all but told me he loved me! We did kiss, and he seemed to want more as ...
A. 6 December 2010: Cerberus, you've just brilliantly illustrated my point. A guy who is self-described as respectful will keep trying until he gets a firm "no." So what constitutes a firm "no" then, if "no" doesn't mean "no"? As you said, it depends on the guy and the ... (read in full...)
No, means no!
Q. I met this guy when I was walking home from university the other night, we talked and I ended up getting his number. Last night he came over to my place to "hang out" and he all but told me he loved me! We did kiss, and he seemed to want more as ...
A. 6 December 2010: Cerberus, thanks for the respectful "disagree," and a chance to clarify a bit what I meant.
I would expect that a respectful guy would stop "trying it on", and I have no doubt that you have stopped at a firm "no."
Our OP said these things: "I had t... (read in full...)
No, means no!
Q. I met this guy when I was walking home from university the other night, we talked and I ended up getting his number. Last night he came over to my place to "hang out" and he all but told me he loved me! We did kiss, and he seemed to want more as ...
A. 6 December 2010: Okay, time to clue you in on something. A guy who doesn't care about your boundaries has a problem and I hate to say this but his feelings don't really matter. What I mean by that is that he's made a choice to ignore your discomfort and is pressing ... (read in full...)
Will this cause my lips to stretch and enlarge them permanently?
Q. My guy has taken to giving me oral quite often. In the process he finishes off by sucking on my inner lips, one of which is naturally a bit longer than the other. The oral is good and usually causes me to orgasm, but the sucking can beco...
A. 6 December 2010: I think it's time to tell him that the oral stimulation of your labia doesn't do anything for you. He probably is operating under the misconception that you like it. If it is uncomfortable, then you have to tell him. He's not a mind reader.
I don'... (read in full...)
Why did my teacher act like that?
Q. Hi Everyone, This is my second time posting on dear cupid. I have found yet another question and I need a answer for it. It concern my teacher and I. Please, just give me an answer. So, I am in my final year of college and I am pu...
A. 6 December 2010: I had another thought. He may be acting strangely because a student keeps staring at him and asking him questions and behaving in a peculiar manner. He may be fidgety because he is so uncomfortable in her presence, that she is making him feel ... (read in full...)
Why did my teacher act like that?
Q. Hi Everyone, This is my second time posting on dear cupid. I have found yet another question and I need a answer for it. It concern my teacher and I. Please, just give me an answer. So, I am in my final year of college and I am pu...
A. 4 December 2010: Sound like a very bad case of indigestion to me. Or he was trying very very hard not to fart. Anyway, my guess is that his gastrointestinal tract was giving him sone distress. Crohns disease is a possibility, for example. a good friend of mine has ... (read in full...)
Which one should I marry?
Q. I have two marriage proposals. one girl with average beauty and professionaly just good another is very ugly but professionaly very good my confusion is whom to marry? I have no thoughts at all regarding my future plans...
A. 3 December 2010: Are these candidates for an arranged marriage?... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he just let me move on? I don't understand!
Q. Is he interested or is he just bored? We hadn't talked for about a month or two when he randomly said hi. He asked me how my love life was and I've always been an open book. One of the reasons we started to end was because I'm the jealous type and ...
A. 3 December 2010: Sweetheart. Close down the computer now and step away from it into real life. Go outside and get the sunshine, or rain, or wind, or the moon's glow on your face. Take a brisk walk and get your heart pumping just a little bit. Then go eat a nice ... (read in full...)
Do I begin giving him an ultimatum when I know that might backfire on me?
Q. I've had a boyfriend for almost 6 years now. He's a great guy, and I'm in love with him, and can see our future life together as being a beautiful thing. He's had a tough life though. His dad died when he was 16, and his grandfather only a few ...
A. 3 December 2010: I think Jmtmj raises an excellent point. I'd also like to point out your argument "Isn't something worth fighting for, worth keeping?" really applies more to him than to you. He's not really fighting, now, is he. He's left that to you to do.
W... (read in full...)
Advice needed ASAP!
Q. Yesterday i had sex with my bf and his condom popped i heard but i didnt realize it till he came in me. should i take the plan B pill or just wait next week to see if i am pregnant and deal with this issue from there???...
A. 3 December 2010: Wouldn't taking Plan B and avoiding a pregnancy be a whole lot less troublesome than the alternative? That is assuming you don't want to be pregnant. The thing is, we don't know your medical status and cannot presume to guide you here. Go talk to ... (read in full...)
Is there a way out of the friend zone?
Q. hi been getting on really well with a women and enjoy spending time with her i really like her and told her i like her she said am like a brother to her i walked her home and walked away, she rang me down the road saying she could not open f...
A. 2 December 2010: You have to change how she sees you, one shortcut to this is to convince her girlfriends that you are dateable. You want one of her girlfriends to become interested in you to the point that she fears that she may lose you, that she is missing out on ... (read in full...)
Do I begin giving him an ultimatum when I know that might backfire on me?
Q. I've had a boyfriend for almost 6 years now. He's a great guy, and I'm in love with him, and can see our future life together as being a beautiful thing. He's had a tough life though. His dad died when he was 16, and his grandfather only a few ...
A. 2 December 2010: Your guy has OCD and it has hit the point where it interferes with his daily life. He's stuck in depression and he's stuck in his rituals. Unless he acknowledges he has a problem and takes steps to deal with it, he's not going to get better. This is ... (read in full...)
Think my husband is having gay encounters
Q. Help! I recently discovered an email account I did nopt know about which led to Craigs lists postings I did not know about. Long story short, my husband of 18 years had communications with other men over a period of 4 months while travelling. He ...
A. 8 November 2010: Thanks for the follow up. I don't know what to tell you other than to make sure you are taking good care of yourself. This may be all a huge misunderstanding but him giving out his hotel room number and specifying sexual acts he wants on Craigslist ... (read in full...)
Think my husband is having gay encounters
Q. Help! I recently discovered an email account I did nopt know about which led to Craigs lists postings I did not know about. Long story short, my husband of 18 years had communications with other men over a period of 4 months while travelling. He ...
A. 8 November 2010: Sorry for being late on this one, I meant to respond earlier.
I think you have good reason to be concerned. A friend of mine is a doctor specializing in the treatment of people with HIV. He has many stories of having a woman come in puzzled why she ... (read in full...)
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