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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 10 October 2011: Hi popeye, it sounds like you have managed to overcome your RJ in a very successful and positive manner. I certainly know no one WANTS to feel RJ or suffer from it; it is not a conscious choice. I guess though that your example and that of other ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 10 October 2011: Hi idea, I'm sorry I've just seen your comment here. If you have a question, it's a good idea to post it on the site here: http://www.dearcupid.org/ask
Otherwise, just take a look around and scroll through the questions in various categories. You ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 28 July 2011: Thanks for the new additions to the thread, I really think this is a good way for these topics to be covered in a respectful manner. I often see anons posting such bitter and angry words, using the words 'slut' and 'whore' and would invite them to ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 19 July 2011: I just HAD to copy/paste this answer to another thread. It was a personal distillation by an anon poster as she struggled to come to terms with her boyfriend's RJ. I really like how she breaks it down into concrete chunks so we examine each piece of ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 14 January 2011: Hi somewhatdamaged, it sounds to me as though you should seek counseling immediately if you are having suicidal thoughts. I would recommend that you see your physician and get an appropriate referral immediately. There are treatment modalities ... (read in full...)
Why did she lie to me when she had actually moved in with another guy?
Q. Why is it that the good guy ends up the jackass? My gf broke up with me telling me she loved me but was overlaod with work, her son so on and so on. I am such a sucker. My best bud sister is her friend and everyone's talking behind my back about how ...
A. 23 December 2010: Sometimes the good guys don't realize they've chosen poorly. Sounds like you picked a woman with some baggage, you mentioned a son, so at least one ex, and I can guess that there were probably other red flags you might have seen but either didn't ... (read in full...)
Why do these guys hit on me?
Q. First off.. I'm not a whore..but I feel like many people "including friends" think I am!! All the guys with girlfriends ask me to get with them but I always say no! And I know I don't lead these guys on I mean I'm nice to them but they are all my ...
A. 22 December 2010: One really quick thing. Girls who smile too much and want to try to please everyone often get their intentions misconstrued or misunderstood by people around them. Also, in trying to please people, girls who laugh at rude or sexy jokes also might ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't understand why I can't get over his cheating!
Q. my husband told me he had a one night stand with a woman years ago. i found out he had a long term relationship with this woman. my husband can't understand why this still bothers me. he told me to get over it. i try but his actions today remind ...
A. 22 December 2010: You're feeling stuck because you are allowing him to dictate your actions and he's trying to dictate your feelings as well. That is setting you up for this horrible tension you feel. "Bottle it up and don't tell anyone" is NOT the way you get past ... (read in full...)
She's totally ignoring the fact that I sent her three messages!
Q. I'd like some advice please regarding a potential new relationship. A new girl started at work a few months ago. We get on really well, and have been getting to know each other. I recently suggested going out and we arranged it for the day afte...
A. 21 December 2010: People occasionally send me texts that I note and mean to reply but I'm in the middle of something and just can't get to it. Then I forget to get back to them. She may have higher priorities right now than replying to texts.
Also, my phone acts... (read in full...)
Merry Christmas, with an off-color queston!
Q. This is NOT a relationship question. At least not yet :-). I'm just on a playful mood at the time, taking a break from work, and one of those weird and funny thoughts that give you the goosebumps came to my mind. I want to wish everyone a Merry ...
A. 21 December 2010: I wonder how many people are now rummaging in the cupboards to find their old back-scratchers? ... (read in full...)
StepDad terrorises me And Mum stays silent. Help please
Q. My mum got together with my stepdad when I was 6 years old (I'm now 20).All of my life he's been terrorising me and bullying me to the point when I was 14 I shot myself in the head with an airgun because I was severely depressed over him. Mum neve...
A. 21 December 2010: Hi Tuyen, this does indeed sound like you are in an abusive household. Your mother may be a victim as well but hasn't yet realized it. I have a link for you, I want you read it and I think you should send them an email or call them for help and ... (read in full...)
Merry Christmas, with an off-color queston!
Q. This is NOT a relationship question. At least not yet :-). I'm just on a playful mood at the time, taking a break from work, and one of those weird and funny thoughts that give you the goosebumps came to my mind. I want to wish everyone a Merry ...
A. 21 December 2010: @Cerberus, I would be afraid to escalate the retribution. You're going to wind up looking like Gollum if this keeps up.
@Daniel, I would ensure that if you do give those hand-shaped scratchers, that you carefully remove any of your body hair you ... (read in full...)
He does not allow me to initiate sex, he tells me he is not a peforming animal.
Q. Hello I have been married for 9 years, five of those years have been spent begging, crying, bargaining, conjoling my husbanc into making love to me. He does not allow me to initiate sex, he tells me he is not a peforming animal. the only way he ...
A. 21 December 2010: I agree with dirtball. Something else came to mind. Any chance he isn't actually heterosexual? If it's been 5 years and he's avoided sex for that long, well, maybe he's in the closet. Anything else going on with you two? You're healthy and fit, and ... (read in full...)
Unemployed and yet my wife is asking for petty cash!
Q. I am currently unemployed, while paying for a large 5 bedroom home and all related expenses for my spouse and 2 children to live comfortably. My spouse continues to ask me for petty cash that she expresses is needed because of her over spending or ...
A. 21 December 2010: LOVE "YouWish's" answer! Perfect!
... (read in full...)
How do I reveal to him and his mother that I'm pregnant?
Q. I have known my boyfriend for about a year and we've been dating for nearly 6months. He is a great guy. We are both 24 with me being a few months older. We discussed the possibility of pregnancy when we decided together to have unprotected sex. We ...
A. 21 December 2010: Congratulations, and good luck! ... (read in full...)
Unemployed and yet my wife is asking for petty cash!
Q. I am currently unemployed, while paying for a large 5 bedroom home and all related expenses for my spouse and 2 children to live comfortably. My spouse continues to ask me for petty cash that she expresses is needed because of her over spending or ...
A. 21 December 2010: Rather than face her demands for more cash each week, why don't you sit down with her, go over the financial picture, set up the budget, including "discretionary" spending, then stick to the budget? You won't feel badgered and she should have a ... (read in full...)
Who is telling the truth here? I am stuck in the middle and don't know who to believe!
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. he's rough around the edges, but he is trying, and seems to be growing up, and in my head we're not all perfect. my mother has always been on the fence about him, and my best friend says she likes him, but ...
A. 21 December 2010: "i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. he's rough around the edges, but he is trying, and seems to be growing up"
Could you be more specific about what you mean by that? He's "rough around the edges" could mean anything from he beats puppy dogs... (read in full...)
Can I forgive this?
Q. I've been with my partner for over two years but four mths ago,I discovered he'd been having cybersex with strangers,including on webcam and swapping intimate photos.I've tried to keep the relationship going,with the beginnings of therapy,he got rid ...
A. 21 December 2010: For me, it's one thing to catch the guy in the act of masturbating or looking at recorded pictures or videos--and another to find he's been interacting with strangers, interacting on web cam and sharing pictures of his own body with someone else. ... (read in full...)
Why can't he look me in the eye?
Q. Why can't he look me in the eye, he might sometimes but when our gazes meet he looks away or starts walking and talking instead...we had some ups and downs in our knowing eachother, and i think this guy is an attention hound when it comes to the ...
A. 21 December 2010: I expect HR put the fear of losing his job on him. Look, it sounds as though you had a very troubled and unhealthy relationship with this married man. My suggestion to you is to take your focus off him and put it on your work.
It doesn't matter what... (read in full...)
How do I reveal to him and his mother that I'm pregnant?
Q. I have known my boyfriend for about a year and we've been dating for nearly 6months. He is a great guy. We are both 24 with me being a few months older. We discussed the possibility of pregnancy when we decided together to have unprotected sex. We ...
A. 21 December 2010: "We discussed the possibility of pregnancy when we decided together to have unprotected sex. We were not planning a pregnancy but decided to be there for each other if it happened."
---
So you say something like this:
"George, remember whe... (read in full...)
My comatose husband may never wake up. Should I try and raise his baby alone or abort it?
Q. Hi, everybody i'm new here so here goes... about 2 months ago my husband and i got in a near fatal car accident. i am ok, just came out with a broken arm, but my husband suffered a serious concussion and he has been in a coma ever since. i'm so ...
A. 20 December 2010: Which state are you in, East Coast, West Coast, South, Midwest? And what type of unit is he living in?
Did you call your OB/GYN to make an appointment yet?... (read in full...)
My comatose husband may never wake up. Should I try and raise his baby alone or abort it?
Q. Hi, everybody i'm new here so here goes... about 2 months ago my husband and i got in a near fatal car accident. i am ok, just came out with a broken arm, but my husband suffered a serious concussion and he has been in a coma ever since. i'm so ...
A. 20 December 2010: Is the coma medically induced or is it just that he hasn't woken up? Has he shown any signs of consciousness? How is he being fed? Is he intubated?
What infections has he had since being hospitalized? You need to know all of these things, and you ... (read in full...)
My comatose husband may never wake up. Should I try and raise his baby alone or abort it?
Q. Hi, everybody i'm new here so here goes... about 2 months ago my husband and i got in a near fatal car accident. i am ok, just came out with a broken arm, but my husband suffered a serious concussion and he has been in a coma ever since. i'm so ...
A. 20 December 2010: Oh, and of course, the nurses would be reporting his daily news to you, and the hospitalist would be wanting to discuss the next steps. Is he in an ICU, a regular hospital bed or have they moved him to a long-term care facility?... (read in full...)
My comatose husband may never wake up. Should I try and raise his baby alone or abort it?
Q. Hi, everybody i'm new here so here goes... about 2 months ago my husband and i got in a near fatal car accident. i am ok, just came out with a broken arm, but my husband suffered a serious concussion and he has been in a coma ever since. i'm so ...
A. 20 December 2010: It's okay, you don't have to see him, if you don't feel you can. I'm intrigued that the doctor said nothing about his diagnosis. "He'll be fine" after two months in a coma is a puzzling diagnosis. I would question the level of care he is receiving ... (read in full...)
My comatose husband may never wake up. Should I try and raise his baby alone or abort it?
Q. Hi, everybody i'm new here so here goes... about 2 months ago my husband and i got in a near fatal car accident. i am ok, just came out with a broken arm, but my husband suffered a serious concussion and he has been in a coma ever since. i'm so ...
A. 20 December 2010: This is a very difficult situation to be in, I can see that you are struggling to cope. I think your best course of action is to talk to the hospital family services division and ask for a referral for yourself. There are support groups and services ... (read in full...)
Just found out my ex is pregnant with my baby but I have moved on!
Q. hi there I was with this girl for 6 years and just saw her weekends told her it was over cos i said i fell out of love with her really i just found someone new, well my ex is pregnant and its mine but i now want to live with this new girl i met a...
A. 20 December 2010: "When can i move in with my new gf without it looking bad?"
Short answer is never, based on your current plan. You will look bad for abandoning your baby and for leaving your ex in the lurch with no emotional or financial support. You will be judg... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 19 December 2010: You're welcome! Thank Yos and other aunts who came before you and made me realize I did not know how to help. So here's the safe place to discuss it. I'm delighted to have been of help to you. A real day-brightener!
Best wishes to you and your girl... (read in full...)
Do I tell the truth in this 'truth' game?
Q. I recently moved to a new school, where I know no one. So my new friends have been playing a truth game with me to help me get to know each other. Last time they asked me who my first kiss was. I'm afraid to tell them, because my first kiss was a...
A. 19 December 2010: I don't normally advocate lying but if you are afraid of the repercussions of telling them the truth, then make up a plausible explanation for not telling them right away.
I think you could tell them you were embarassed to tell them because the guy ... (read in full...)
Can someone give sperm donor info?
Q. My fiancee and I have been trying for over a year for a baby, turns out he's unable to have any kids. We were thinking about going to a sperm donor. Does anyone know how this works? How much does it cost? Do they give any papers to take home? Do...
A. 18 December 2010: You need to find an accredited and inspected sperm bank. This industry is regulated by the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) and rightly so. http://www.fda.gov/BiologicsBloodVaccines/SafetyAvailability/TissueSafety/ucm232876.htm
You can do a sear... (read in full...)
Someone please tell what this bump is!
Q. Hello im 15 years old, never had sex but i do masterbate. I think i might have hpv I am not sure. I googled this too but i want the agony aunts help also. I have this bump around my vagina. It hurts to touch its hard and i dont know how to ...
A. 17 December 2010: "Dad, Mom (or whatever you call her), I have a really painful bump that I think might be some sort of skin infection around my vagina. I'm embarrassed to have to ask you this but it has become extremely painful, and it isn't going away like I had ... (read in full...)
I want to try anal but she's really against it. Can I convince her?
Q. So I have been having sex with this girl for a while. We jumped into bed together really from the start of things, but that was really the only quick thing about it. She for almost a yr never entertained the idea of her on top or doggie, she just ...
A. 17 December 2010: Okay, so here we have a woman who was basically raped by her ex. She is shy and not confident when it comes to sex. Doesn't want the light on. Has to be tricked into certain sex acts or so drunk her inhibitions are drowned in alcohol.
We also have... (read in full...)
I don't feel that this is grounds for divorce!
Q. My wife and I have been married for 4yrs. There have been several times when we argue about how things are not equal in the relationship. I work and stays at home. Naturally, I would expect things to be done when I get home from work and they ...
A. 16 December 2010: Ah. You have an imbalanced relationship because she is supposed to have a job at home yet you feel, as her supervisor, that she is not fulfilling the job description. So now, you want to fire her and find a replacement.
I think you need to disc... (read in full...)
My boyfriend needs a place to stay, I want my parents to take him in!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. We are very happy together. The problem is he has a bad home life to the point that he had to leave and move in with a friend. Now that hes at his friends house new problems have arrived because ...
A. 16 December 2010: All I see is that you two need to stop seeing each other for a month or two until he is on his feet and on his own. Surely if your love is so strong you can make the sacrifice so that he has a place to stay with his friend/your ex until he can move ... (read in full...)
He dumped me a week before Christmas!
Q. I dated a guy for six months and then moved overseas for school. We had a very intense relationship, but it was very stressful on the two of us because we knew it couldn't last with the distance. While I was overseas we had short convos eve...
A. 16 December 2010: Another thought, sorry for this one, but it's possible he's met someone he's interested in and doesn't want to have you as a potential entanglement. He may not be serious with this hypothetical new person but likes the way it's going.
Being in a re... (read in full...)
He won't stop cheating and he won't leave either!
Q. I'm so exhausted, my marriage has been terrible for years but I am trapped in it. I cannot leave due to our 3 children (if I left we'd be homed in another town, I cannot uproot my children like that) and financial circumstances, whereas he could ve...
A. 16 December 2010: Okay, you have a goal. Get your husband out of the house. What do you need to do in order to achieve this? You need to have a plan, and it sounds like instead of looking for the things you CAN do, you are stuck in the mire of things you CAN'T do.
S... (read in full...)
Why can't my ex learn from all the wrong he has done to me?
Q. why wont my ex wont realize all the stuff hes done to me really messed with my head and physical fitness?.... Ok well i been off and on with my ex and hes really always talked to girls behind my back didnt treat me right. Until i assumed i had enou...
A. 16 December 2010: You are expecting your ex to learn, when he isn't paying attention and honestly doesn't really care all that much. You will be waiting a long time for him to come around.
I know how much you want him to figure it out.
I suspect your friends ... (read in full...)
How judgmental are guys on the first date?
Q. Hello Guys, One of my friend gave my number to his cousin and sent to each other our pic and we liked each other and exchanged the numbers.. since one month we texted to each other and sometimes called.. he asked me to hand out twice but unfort...
A. 16 December 2010: Think of it this way. Dating is like interviewing for a job, in this case, the job title is "girlfriend." First impressions are very important. What did this guy learn about you? He learned you don't make eye contact, you are antsy in his presence ... (read in full...)
Why do guys do this...
Q. this is not a relationship related question...actually they are several questions. 1. why do guys find butts so attractive? 2. why do guys grow their nails long...that's just gross 3. why do guys seem incapable of thinking about anything but sex? ...
A. 16 December 2010: 1. Take a look at women's magazines. They are filled with images of other women. Men are not the only group to find women's bodies appealing to look at. We women do it too.
2. I think this is a cultural thing. Men in certain cultures grow thei... (read in full...)
I want to try anal but she's really against it. Can I convince her?
Q. So I have been having sex with this girl for a while. We jumped into bed together really from the start of things, but that was really the only quick thing about it. She for almost a yr never entertained the idea of her on top or doggie, she just ...
A. 16 December 2010: A couple more questions. You say you've been "having sex with this girl for a while." Do you call her your girlfriend, or is she just someone you have sex with?
Second, you say that you are having problems "finishing." Does this mean you cannot reac... (read in full...)
I want to try anal but she's really against it. Can I convince her?
Q. So I have been having sex with this girl for a while. We jumped into bed together really from the start of things, but that was really the only quick thing about it. She for almost a yr never entertained the idea of her on top or doggie, she just ...
A. 16 December 2010: Was she in a physically abusive relationship in the past? Was she abused by a family member or family friend in the past?... (read in full...)
Thoughts on having sex on the first date?
Q. is it ok to have sex on the first date/night you meet someone?? recently i haven't had a lot of sex, its been almost 6 months, and although i thoroughly enjoy it, i feel the need to get out there and have a few one night stands.. ive been chatt...
A. 15 December 2010: OP, sorry for the confusion, there was no age range given, and based on the way you wrote the queston, it sounded like a much younger, inexperienced person.
If you want to have one-night stands, then by all means, do so. But then you cannot be surp... (read in full...)
Has anybody else been burned and decided to stay away forever from the opposite sex?
Q. Lesson learned!!! After being told tonight, i will not get back with you, so just leave me alone. If a woman can throw away 7 years and 2 sons, a nice home, her 3 step daughters just because of some email and text flirting then im at a loose end ...
A. 15 December 2010: Another term for it is 'couples' counseling. I have friends who weren't married who needed it.
So you never got around to getting married, after she had the baby? And then another one? Hm. Perhaps she wasn't as committed to you as would have been... (read in full...)
Has anybody else been burned and decided to stay away forever from the opposite sex?
Q. Lesson learned!!! After being told tonight, i will not get back with you, so just leave me alone. If a woman can throw away 7 years and 2 sons, a nice home, her 3 step daughters just because of some email and text flirting then im at a loose end ...
A. 15 December 2010: I'm not sure she thinks she's ruining her life, or the kids. I think she probably thinks shes doing what she needs to do to protect herself and them.
I guess you don't have a marriage counselor? If you want to try to make this thing workable, I thin... (read in full...)
Has anybody else been burned and decided to stay away forever from the opposite sex?
Q. Lesson learned!!! After being told tonight, i will not get back with you, so just leave me alone. If a woman can throw away 7 years and 2 sons, a nice home, her 3 step daughters just because of some email and text flirting then im at a loose end ...
A. 15 December 2010: Sounds like a plan then. If not a good one. Own your problems, take responsibility, remember you contributed to the relationship's demise. You've just had a life lesson. You don't appear to have done the homework. Other women didn't put you where ... (read in full...)
Has anybody else been burned and decided to stay away forever from the opposite sex?
Q. Lesson learned!!! After being told tonight, i will not get back with you, so just leave me alone. If a woman can throw away 7 years and 2 sons, a nice home, her 3 step daughters just because of some email and text flirting then im at a loose end ...
A. 15 December 2010: I think I've read one of your other posts. Aren't you the one who's exes have now joined forces and the most recent ex dumped you because you were sexting and emailing someone else? Then you promised her you'd never do it again?
Then you did it agai... (read in full...)
Am I a nyphomaniac?
Q. I've engaged in foreplay before but I've never had full blown sexual intercorse. I'm constantly horny and faithfully masterbate everday, several times a day. Does this mean I'm a nymphomaniac and when I do start having sexual intercourse ache for it ...
A. 15 December 2010: Vaginismus will require professional help to overcome. Perhaps tackling that will address the other worry of the latent nymphomania? As part of the therapy you may discover this is something you need not worry about.
Best wishes in handling this... (read in full...)
Am I a nyphomaniac?
Q. I've engaged in foreplay before but I've never had full blown sexual intercorse. I'm constantly horny and faithfully masterbate everday, several times a day. Does this mean I'm a nymphomaniac and when I do start having sexual intercourse ache for it ...
A. 15 December 2010: Good question. So you've been masturbating faithfully for 20?+ years? Wow.... (read in full...)
Thoughts on having sex on the first date?
Q. is it ok to have sex on the first date/night you meet someone?? recently i haven't had a lot of sex, its been almost 6 months, and although i thoroughly enjoy it, i feel the need to get out there and have a few one night stands.. ive been chatt...
A. 14 December 2010: Right now, you're just the girl who chats with guys she doesn't know on FB about sex. So they probably class you as "likely to have sex on the first night." If you meet up with them and have sex, they WILL class you as the "girl who has sex on the ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 20 August 2010: This actually kind of illustrates one of the things I wrote in the original post:
"BUT, it must be respectful of the aunt holding a differing viewpoint. You must keep in mind that you may disagree with another aunt, but keep it cordial. If you can'... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 9 August 2010: @Stonemason, thanks for posting. No, your situation wasn't one of the ones I was referring to. I've been on DC for a while now and the situation I see again and again is the man who posts that he's just found out his wife wasn't a virgin, or that ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 31 July 2010: PM, thank you so much for contributing that good insight about the loss of trust issue. This is definitely something that people have to work through and it's not made easier by unspoken assumptions. I hope that anyone reading this has a good think ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 27 July 2010: @Serpico, no problem. If you don't think that this will be helpful to anyone, there's no need for you to link here.
It's like Q just said, we have seen post after post turn into unhelpful and possibly hurtful debate, rather than focusing on the ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 26 July 2010: Q and Miamine, you both understand what it is I'm trying to create here, thank you both for your help and input and insight! It is much appreciated.... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 26 July 2010: "a person deserves the chance to choose, say one partner was a molester ten years ago wouldnt you want to know the whole deal so that what ever consequences that come from it, it was your choice?"
I agree that a person deserves to know whether the ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 26 July 2010: Some good posts on this thread about the topic: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-forget-about-my-wifes-past.html
... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 25 July 2010: "what if the partner lies before marriage about sexual past?" Good question! What if that happens? What should the question be back to the one who lied?
"Why is it we always come up excuse that they must have had a good reason for lien to there part... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 25 July 2010: Just to add to the original article, when I first read posts about people troubled by their partners' sexual pasts, I had the same initial reaction as many people. That is "get over it, that was long ago and doesn't have any bearing on your ... (read in full...)
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