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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Have I ruined my chances with this man? What should I say to him now?!
Q. Please, please help me... I can't stop thinking and my mind is going crazy!! Last night, I had a dinner date at my place with a colleague of mine I really really really really like. The evening was smooth and flirty and fun. Then he started making p...
A. 28 January 2011: Toads in the old days didn't have the power of texts. Text appeal, if you will. ... (read in full...)
Have I ruined my chances with this man? What should I say to him now?!
Q. Please, please help me... I can't stop thinking and my mind is going crazy!! Last night, I had a dinner date at my place with a colleague of mine I really really really really like. The evening was smooth and flirty and fun. Then he started making p...
A. 28 January 2011: You are right, he isn't worth your time, or any more worry or concern! If he wanted to get to know you, he would have gone a few miles extra to meet you for a drink. Now you know, now you have back your power. Stay strong and don't feel badly about ... (read in full...)
He cheated, I cheated, then he cheated again.
Q. I am so confused. I can't decide whether to stay with my fiance or leave him for another guy. My fiance and I have lived together for the past 5 years. In the beginning he was cheating on me another girl that was his actual girlfriend at the time. ...
A. 27 January 2011: You tried, it didn't work. That whole trust/honesty thing is pretty central to a functional, healthy relationship. Throwing another 5, 10, 20 years after 5 years doesn't make any sense either, that's just time wasted on a guy whose proven track ... (read in full...)
We can't have vaginal sex due to my girlfriend's health issue, is it wrong to ask for oral?
Q. My girlfriend can't have sex at the moment due to a health issue with her vagina. She is hopefully seeing a gyno soon to figure out what's up. My question: should she offer to perform oral on me while we go sexless? if she does not offer (she h...
A. 26 January 2011: One more thing. If she thinks it's a miscarriage, there may be some resentment or anger there. That is, some thinking along the lines of, "I'm the one who gets pregnant, I'm the one who has this awful bleeding, I'm unhappy that I lost a baby, I'm ... (read in full...)
Life after wife's mastectomy? Anyone been through this?
Q. A couple months ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and she had a mastectomy on one side last week. We think it was detected early, the doctors are quite encouraging, and she seems to be recovering marvelously from the surgery. Final test ...
A. 26 January 2011: Thank you for a beautiful update! Breast cancer has impacted my life too, with family members suffering through surgery, chemo and radiation as well.
That brain thing? I've heard it called 'chemo brain.' It's pooh-poohed as an actual syndrome by c... (read in full...)
We can't have vaginal sex due to my girlfriend's health issue, is it wrong to ask for oral?
Q. My girlfriend can't have sex at the moment due to a health issue with her vagina. She is hopefully seeing a gyno soon to figure out what's up. My question: should she offer to perform oral on me while we go sexless? if she does not offer (she h...
A. 26 January 2011: I see, you're actually a little afraid of her, what her reaction might be if you try to press on her for some oral sex. She is indeed stubborn, and foolish.
You might try bursting into tears and having a meltdown about her not going to the hosp... (read in full...)
We can't have vaginal sex due to my girlfriend's health issue, is it wrong to ask for oral?
Q. My girlfriend can't have sex at the moment due to a health issue with her vagina. She is hopefully seeing a gyno soon to figure out what's up. My question: should she offer to perform oral on me while we go sexless? if she does not offer (she h...
A. 26 January 2011: To assist you in this endeavor, I realize you might require some assistance: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
... (read in full...)
We can't have vaginal sex due to my girlfriend's health issue, is it wrong to ask for oral?
Q. My girlfriend can't have sex at the moment due to a health issue with her vagina. She is hopefully seeing a gyno soon to figure out what's up. My question: should she offer to perform oral on me while we go sexless? if she does not offer (she h...
A. 26 January 2011: Many girls enjoy giving head. Virtually ALL girls dislike vaginal bleeding. Okay, you're young and sexually frustrated right now, so I'll cut you a break, but you are worrying about getting HEAD while your girlfriend may have something very wrong ... (read in full...)
My extremely irritating roommate is getting on my nerves...what do I do?
Q. Last semester I had asked one of my friends to become my roommate for this semester. However, so far it has not been a good start between us even though she believes its all good. I think the problem I have is that our friendship is not really a ...
A. 26 January 2011: "Maddie, I need to talk to you about something that has been on my mind. We've been friends and now roommates for a while and there are things that are making the friendship weaken, due to how things are as roommates.
I like you, and I wanted to l... (read in full...)
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
Q. Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
A. 26 January 2011: Great one, k_c! I have a few more questions to add to the post, to help other readers as well:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-do-i-get-him-for-valentines-daythat.html
http:... (read in full...)
Can she be on the pill without her parents help?
Q. Hey guys I got some questions about birth controll, spacificly the pill. I am 18, and my girlfriend is 17 and will be 18 in a few months. I just told my parents about having sex and they reacted well. They said it would come some day, and want to ...
A. 26 January 2011: I just want to add that going on the pill is a serious decision that should be made by your girlfriend and her doctor, not by you and your parents. There are side effects to hormonal birth control and it has been linked to some serious conditions. ... (read in full...)
Can I skip my placebo pill and go straight into the next pack so I don't get my period? Are there any side effects?
Q. I am scheduled to go on vacation to Mexico in the middle of march for 8 days. I am due to get my period right on the second day there, which is highly irritating. If I were to skip taking my placebo birth control week and start right away with the ...
A. 26 January 2011: Call your prescribing physician's office (I assume it's your gynecologist) and ask this question. I believe women do this all the time but it would be foolish of you to mess with your medication without knowing what the potential risks would be. Or ... (read in full...)
Have I ruined my chances with this man? What should I say to him now?!
Q. Please, please help me... I can't stop thinking and my mind is going crazy!! Last night, I had a dinner date at my place with a colleague of mine I really really really really like. The evening was smooth and flirty and fun. Then he started making p...
A. 26 January 2011: Hold your head up high... he's the one who has to account for his actions and assumptions. Not you. Don't let him flip that onto you, okay?
Just go on about your business and be professional if you encounter him.
I really do think that dating c... (read in full...)
I don't want to live with my parents anymore. Should I ask my married sister for help?
Q. Ok, So I don't want to live with my parents anymore. They are fine parents but they just dont understand me. So im looking into boarding schools to get away from them, but from the looks of it that won't happen. We are not the richest family out ...
A. 25 January 2011: What don't they understand?... (read in full...)
I find guys attractive until they pull their pants down!
Q. I find guys attractive until they pull their pants down. And I find that I'm only attracted to guys with a rather feminine appearance. And I wouldn't mind kissing a guy (as long as he has no facial hair + he has feminine features). But male bits ...
A. 25 January 2011: So do you get into situations often, where the guy pulls his pants down? That's a funny way to get to know someone.
Look, genitalia are odd-looking, let's face it, some of the bits are pretty weird and do funny party tricks. (Ever see the Sein... (read in full...)
He cheated, I cheated, then he cheated again.
Q. I am so confused. I can't decide whether to stay with my fiance or leave him for another guy. My fiance and I have lived together for the past 5 years. In the beginning he was cheating on me another girl that was his actual girlfriend at the time. ...
A. 25 January 2011: "I can't trust him and I can't get past it." And he isn't interested in cooperating with the 'checking up' on himself, is he?
Look, the guy has a proven track record. YOU have one too, now. For him, fidelity is totally optional, and it sounds as t... (read in full...)
We can't have vaginal sex due to my girlfriend's health issue, is it wrong to ask for oral?
Q. My girlfriend can't have sex at the moment due to a health issue with her vagina. She is hopefully seeing a gyno soon to figure out what's up. My question: should she offer to perform oral on me while we go sexless? if she does not offer (she h...
A. 25 January 2011: One more thing. If this 'issue' is a mysterious discharge that indicates a possible infection, it would be a good idea to have YOURSELF checked too, just to make sure you don't have something that you would then be introducing into her mouth.
h... (read in full...)
We can't have vaginal sex due to my girlfriend's health issue, is it wrong to ask for oral?
Q. My girlfriend can't have sex at the moment due to a health issue with her vagina. She is hopefully seeing a gyno soon to figure out what's up. My question: should she offer to perform oral on me while we go sexless? if she does not offer (she h...
A. 25 January 2011: You said she can't have sex, I assume you are referring to intercourse? But does this 'issue' mean she can't enjoy some manual stimulation by you? Can you use your hands and fingers to pleasure her? And if the 'issue' is not a contagious infection ... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. I currently own my own condo and moved in with my boyfriend several months ago. My boyfriend also owns his home. Because I currently have a tenant in my condo, I pay my boyfriend $700 per month plus 1/2 the groceries. My tenant's lease is up in a ...
A. 25 January 2011: Good luck to you and please come back and let us know how you are managing!... (read in full...)
Have I ruined my chances with this man? What should I say to him now?!
Q. Please, please help me... I can't stop thinking and my mind is going crazy!! Last night, I had a dinner date at my place with a colleague of mine I really really really really like. The evening was smooth and flirty and fun. Then he started making p...
A. 25 January 2011: So did you ask him over to dinner at your house? This may have given him the idea that you were interested in sex, he may have misunderstood your intention.
I'd play it very calmly and confidently. You like him, you'd like to date him, you don'... (read in full...)
Boyfriend claims he love me. So why does he sleep around?
Q. If my boyfriend says he loves me, then why does he engage in casual sex with others? ...
A. 25 January 2011: Er, um, because he can?
I hope you are using condoms and practicing safe sex. No direct genital contact or mouth-to-genital contact is advisable, as you are effectively exposed to whatever nice little infections the others may be hiding. NO oral... (read in full...)
Are there any couples out there who are 100% faithful to one another?
Q. I dont know if it's because Ive been reading the articles on this site too often (this being a relationship help site and all), but it seems that everywhere I look, people are unfaithful to each other. Im basically asking, are there any couples ...
A. 25 January 2011: Yes, there are faithful couples everywhere. Don't lose hope.... (read in full...)
Relationship in limbo! What can I do to kindly jolt him into taking action?
Q. How does one get out of relationship limbo? Started out as a fairytale then turned ugly. He told me he doesn't want a committed relationship, so I showed him the door. Things are just complicated though as we move in the same circle of friends and I ...
A. 25 January 2011: He sounds a bit of a mess. Treat him kindly, with compassion when you see him, but move on. Live your life! Maybe he'll pull himself together, maybe he won't be able to, but the thing is, it's not your role to play nursemaid. That's emasculating to ... (read in full...)
He saw me holding hands with a friend and now he won't talk to me
Q. I've been talking to some guy and now he doesn't want to talk to me because he saw me holding hands with my friend and he got all pissed off now he won't talk to me...Its been about a week or so and hes still mad at me which i do not know what to do ...
A. 25 January 2011: Are you really 18-21? This sounds more like a younger person's dilemma. Give him time to recover, be sure you don't hint at things you don't mean to do and maybe he'll come around. If not, you've just experienced a life lesson.... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend has a new man, how do I win her back?
Q. I am in a situation was with my girlfriend for 13yrs, we had no kids as i have a low count but she had a son from her first marriage, we never married it wasnt really dicussed, but we got on regardless...life was good but ...... she was always ...
A. 25 January 2011: Buy her a ring. Set a date. She may well continue to reject you, but words won't convince her. Actions will.... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend has a new man, how do I win her back?
Q. I am in a situation was with my girlfriend for 13yrs, we had no kids as i have a low count but she had a son from her first marriage, we never married it wasnt really dicussed, but we got on regardless...life was good but ...... she was always ...
A. 25 January 2011: Of course she wouldn't forget you, she's just not interested in continuing your relationship as it was. She's not "throwing away" 13 years, she's just not going to give you the next years of her life. There's a difference there, in the way you and ... (read in full...)
How will I forget her if I leave her
Q. heeey....i knew a woman...loved her...met a lot....then i knew that she was married...she told me... we are in the same age....she is married for 6 months....her husband works abroad...only come home twice a year...i believe that she loves me...i ...
A. 25 January 2011: You will forget her, and the pain you may be feeling will subside.... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend has a new man, how do I win her back?
Q. I am in a situation was with my girlfriend for 13yrs, we had no kids as i have a low count but she had a son from her first marriage, we never married it wasnt really dicussed, but we got on regardless...life was good but ...... she was always ...
A. 25 January 2011: She obviously has moved on if she is with a new man and is blocking you from her life, so I'm sorry to report I don't hold out much hope for you. Your options for reaching her:
1. Personal appeal
2. Phone call
3. Written letter - on paper, not v... (read in full...)
What is the difference between a girlfriend, a FWB or just casual sex with a girl?
Q. ok for you man out there , what is the difference between a girlfriend, friends with benefits or just casual sex with a girl? How do you treat a girl in each of these? I'm asking this because Im a little bit confused about my current relati...
A. 24 January 2011: This is an interesting way you approached the question, by asking for men thought the experiential continuum of "fully committed" down to "booty call" looked like. My initial instinct was to say, if you have to ask, you're booty call. But then in ... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. I currently own my own condo and moved in with my boyfriend several months ago. My boyfriend also owns his home. Because I currently have a tenant in my condo, I pay my boyfriend $700 per month plus 1/2 the groceries. My tenant's lease is up in a ...
A. 24 January 2011: I think you will be doing yourself a favor to move out, remove the financial entanglements from the relationship for the time being and reassess from a position of strength.
How old is he? And if he's been living alone for 10 years, how is it that... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. I currently own my own condo and moved in with my boyfriend several months ago. My boyfriend also owns his home. Because I currently have a tenant in my condo, I pay my boyfriend $700 per month plus 1/2 the groceries. My tenant's lease is up in a ...
A. 24 January 2011: I tend not to believe in "living together" without having sorted all these types of questions out in advance. Run through the "what ifs" before you make that commitment to live together.
Personally, I would remove myself from the situation of havi... (read in full...)
The answer to all your problems (well most) right here!
Q. I don't know about you guys but there are some questions I see time and time again. How 'bout we answer some of those questions right here and hope that anyone about to post the same question has a quick look at the articles first? 1. Why won't h...
A. 22 January 2011: 15. If you haven't met in person, your relationship isn't yet truly tested. Don't keep yourself on a shelf for a fantasy.... (read in full...)
Question on etiquette and American culture
Q. Hello all, This is a question regarding etiquette and American culture. I am a student studying in the US but I am not an American (I am from South Korea). My student life in US has been, for most part, a very alienating experience with absol...
A. 19 January 2011: If you live in a city that has them, a nice assortment of handmade chocolates or cookies would be nice. NOT the packaged ones from the supermarket, however. A nice bottle of wine would be good, if you want to be hip and not spend too much money, buy ... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend has a new man, how do I win her back?
Q. I am in a situation was with my girlfriend for 13yrs, we had no kids as i have a low count but she had a son from her first marriage, we never married it wasnt really dicussed, but we got on regardless...life was good but ...... she was always ...
A. 19 January 2011: It sounds as though she gave you 13 years to decide to commit. When you didn't, and then cheated on her, um, you basically demonstrated that you were untrustworthy AND unable to commit.
She has judged you by your list of accumulated ACTIONS and your... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself from regretting losing my virginity after its done?
Q. So i've met this guy. it was through a friend of a friend and we met only briefly but i have him as a friend on facebook. So we began talking and the conversation quickly became sexual. We swapped numbers and have continued this to and fro-ing of ...
A. 18 January 2011: "How do i enjoy myself and not worry about the emotional consequences??" This question is like buying that expensive car. If you have to ask how much it costs, you can't afford it. If you have to ask this question, there's no way you are ready to ... (read in full...)
Her attitute toward sex is really frustrating
Q. I'm getting discouraged and feeling really scared for our relationship. Ever since we started having sex my girlfriend has resisted me. I can't do anything to her without seemingly forcing her. It annoys me and make me feel like she doesn't want me ...
A. 18 January 2011: Don't you think if she liked having sex with you, she'd be having sex with you? She doesn't like you touching her or looking at her, intercourse is painful and makes her nauseous. This isn't really typical of a girl who is looking forward to sex.
S... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my girlfriend's irrational behavior?
Q. Yesterday my girlfriend and I had another fight and she provoqued me by saying she had no money to buy the plane ticket so I should be the one doing it. I did it. When she saw I could do it she started to play victim saying that she didn't want to ...
A. 18 January 2011: Why do you like yourself so little that you tolerate this kind of treatment? Do you think so low of yourself that you actually expect to be treated so badly?
End contact, let her go, get yourself straight to the counselor for some in-depth work on y... (read in full...)
She's lied and I don't know how to express my hurt properly
Q. Hey people, I need some advice I recently had a conversation with my girlfriend about this guy she was talking to while we were broken up last april. We have been back together for nearly a year now and this guy is persistent but my girlfrie...
A. 18 January 2011: I get the sense that you are acting a bit like her father, checking up on her, and she is treating you a bit like a parent. As in lying to you and hiding the things she doesn't want to have to explain to you. It's really very childish of her. She ... (read in full...)
Her attitute toward sex is really frustrating
Q. I'm getting discouraged and feeling really scared for our relationship. Ever since we started having sex my girlfriend has resisted me. I can't do anything to her without seemingly forcing her. It annoys me and make me feel like she doesn't want me ...
A. 18 January 2011: Rather than feel rejected, maybe you could look at this like a medical condition. She has a problem with sex, whether it originates in her brain or her body isn't really as important as that she find some help for it. Perhaps she was sexually abused ... (read in full...)
What is the easiest way to talk to him without going directly to him?
Q. I want to know what the way and how to start talking with a boy that just live behind my house instead of going directly suggest any other way of talking with him. I haven't talk with that boy ever before and i really want to talk because i love ...
A. 18 January 2011: It seems a bit strange that you would be 'in love' with someone you've not even met yet. Maybe what you are feeling would be better described as having a crush on him. You are also a male, I think? So your issue is compounded in that you don't even ... (read in full...)
She's lied and I don't know how to express my hurt properly
Q. Hey people, I need some advice I recently had a conversation with my girlfriend about this guy she was talking to while we were broken up last april. We have been back together for nearly a year now and this guy is persistent but my girlfrie...
A. 18 January 2011: The troubling thing is that she is lying flat out about being in contact with him. You've done something wrong, of course, by going into her email but now that you know the truth, I don't think you'll be able to hide that from her. Your trust issues ... (read in full...)
Mom, it's all about her!
Q. Hi guys again! Ive been struggling a little with something and I just wanted to get some more brainpower at work on this, maybe you lovely aunts can help me out again. I’ve come to realize I really don’t much like my mother. She’s manipulative and...
A. 18 January 2011: I know some people have problematic mothers like yours, and I think you being aware that she has a problem is a good start for you. I also think that trying to explain it isn't necessary, unless your friends notice you are distant from your mother ... (read in full...)
Is he sincere with me? Should I wait for him?
Q. i am on date with a guy thought by dating internet, we both keep on touch around 2 years, but we never meet in real, 2 years before, he plan visit me, wanted to meet in real to start a relationship with me, but the time I am not yet ready ...
A. 18 January 2011: Wait. "one more thing , is i am offcial married. he know,i told him in advance.but he say he dont mind. he still wanted to be with me"
Where is your husband?
Why do you say "I am don’t want to wait again, is getting old. I want to settle down, is... (read in full...)
Boyfriend prefers cyber sex to me, Emotionally detatched
Q. So I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I am 22, he is 29 and this is his first real relationship, I am basically his first real love. When we first got together I was going through some medical issues and couldn't have sex for the ...
A. 18 January 2011: It sounds like you have a man who for whatever reason cannot engage in a sexually intimate way with you. Some of what you've written about him suggests there may be a deep underlying reason for this dysfunction in him. My gut feeling is that he is ... (read in full...)
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