A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I am 15 years old and my sister is 14 years old. She is a cancer survivor and has been in remission for two years. The other night when we were home alone, she started crying and her room so I asked her what was wrong. She said she felt bad for never kissing a boy and felt like she missed out because she spent half of her life in the hospital. I told her that her first kiss we be more special than her friends first kiss.I don't want to betray my sister's trust, but is this something that I need to tell our parents? I want her to feel that we can talk about anything but I sometimes worry about what is normal teenage girl behavior when it's not. I do try to be a good brother.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (7 June 2019):
 To start off: I'm so happy to hear of your sister's remission! Congratulations to her!
Secondly: You are a wonderful brother.
Third: This is SO NORMAL for a 14 year old, half their life in a hospital or not. Soooo many teenagers haven't gotten their first kiss by then, and now feel left out of the elusive Kissing Loop. Remind her that even though maybe she is feeling "not normal" she is just having regular, old-fashioned teenage problems. Honestly, this is her living the real life.
Fourth: Don't tell your parents, as the others said, unless you feel she is in danger, or considering hurting herself. She trusts you! I wouldn't break that trust, unless harm could come from it.
Keep supporting your sister, reminding her that she is special, and that you're always there for her to talk to. She has a good opportunity - she's not just waiting for the first guy to come along and kiss her.She can wait for the RIGHT guy to come along and kiss her. And it will be so special, and memorable, and way better than some dweeby, slobbery 9th grader. (Trust me.)
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 June 2019):
 No, do NOT tell your mom what your sister said. She said nothing serious that requires "reporting", such as wanting to do self-harm or harming someone else. She was pouring out her heart to you, and you're going to honor her words in confidence. You comforted her, and you should cultivate that trust by keeping what she said between the two of you...for now.
Now, if she seems to get worse or more despondent, or she starts talking about self-destructive behavior, THEN that's a different story. Otherwise, as far as she and your parents are concerned, you could gently encourage HER to go to her mom to talk to her. But you shouldn't.
Chances are she is feeling some adolescent hormones, in which case, a warm shoulder and your time are the best medicine she needed. Make sure they are always available! I'm glad you're a good brother and not one who incessantly teases. I love my older brother dearly...he was and is my shoulder to cry on.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (4 June 2019):
 You are a great brother! Well done for being supportive :) I wouldn’t tell your parents this, unless she starts talking about beyond kissing or bad depression - then I’d tell your mum, if she’s not judgemental, so she can give your sister girl support.I didn’t have my first kiss until 19 and I was with this really great guy for a few months first. You can reassure her that lots of people are young adults before they have their first kiss and that it’s better to have your first kiss with someone patient who really likes you, than someone young and immature who may use her, pressure her or tell everyone about her.I felt the same way at 14, but it’s honestly better to wait and not rush it. First kisses are awkward enough without it being as young teenagers.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2019): Aww, no don't tell you parents. That will just get embarrassing. What she's going through is normal. Just keep reassuring her. You're the best person to handle this. Remind her that she is young and still has many opportunities for her to have her first kiss. She's having FOMO and making the experience of a first kiss bigger than it is. Just keep reassuring her it will happen if she puts herself out there a bit.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2019): I dont think this is your responsibility.But you could tell your mum what your sister said.This is just because your mum may not be aware that your sister is feeling depressed and she may be able to help out with this.Your answer to your sister was very kind.Just to be honest I must let you know that not all first kisses are pleasant.Some are too gooey, some too long etc.So mum could help cover this topic.My bet is that when mum hears your sister feels depressed because she feels she has missed out in life, then your mum may have some very good ideas.Like planning a family holiday.Or joining youth activities.Or even reminding sis that not all boys are potential shining knights.And maybe even sis might need some counselling to cheer her up a bit.Or if she has depression that is really getting her down she may be able to take some anti depressants to help get the happiness hormone to the correct level.Your sister deserves some help here.She shouldnt have to keep this to herself.Its normal to be depressed during and after an illness because the mind and body cant always make the correct amount of the happiness hormone.Its not expensive.And it starts to work after a few weeks and many people in similar circumstances are already taking them to try to have less sorrow to deal with on a daily basis.
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