A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, my question is this: how do I succeed in getting a job and moving out of my parents home?When I was in high school, I wanted to get a part-time job and start driving lessons so I continued onto community college (I rode the bus each day). After that, I took out loans to study online because my parents wouldn’t let me move out. I now have my BA in Humanities. My parents laugh and find it useless, stating I should have taken Nursing courses but there are already three nurses in the family. I applied for jobs and received no interviews. I volunteered throughout college and have done one internship. I thought that was enough to get at least a part-time job. I am at a loss and fear that I will live with my parents for a long time. I have just turned 23, and at this age, my friends have already done the things I wanted to do such as drive, have a job, and a home away from parents. Can I please get advice? Anything would help to keep my mind at ease. Thank you.
View related questions:
live with my parents Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2019): Just get a full time job....any job.Get an apartment with roommates or just rent a room somewhere until you can do better.I see you are in the usa so there are many job centers here.Try some in your area.Goodwill has very good job centers and some of those jobs pay very well.I also knew a girl who was a nanny in Spain once and she loved it.She did not know the language she was there so the kids could learn english.There are also more than not nanny jobs near you that could also be live in this then you could move out and have a place to stay.The possibilities are endless.If you want it bad enough you can do it.Good luck...You got this.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (13 July 2019):
 As someone who has had to wade through piles of applications for jobs on numerous occasions, the first thing you need to do is make sure your CV presents you in the best way possible. Make sure it is well set out, has no mistakes and lists every skill and every scrap of work related experience you have as you never know what will catch someone's eye. The last position we were interviewing for, we received in excess of 60 applications for one position so scruffy, badly written CVs were rejected out of hand as they gave the impression the individual could not be bothered. Make sure your contact details are correct and clearly set out.
Secondly, write a good covering letter. Make sure it is addressed to the correct person and well presented. Start with the title of the job (and/or any reference you are told you quote) at the top, in bold and underlined. Then say you are interested in applying for this job because ... You feel you could make a contribution to the company/team because you possess the following skills and/or character traits. You have the following experience you can put to good use in this position. Finish off by saying something like "Thank you for taking the time to consider my application. I am available for interview at any time to suit you if you feel I would be suitable for this post."
Try sending your CV to employers who are not even advertising for staff on the off chance they have something suitable but have not yet had chance to advertise it. Your timely CV could save them advertising and recruiting costs. If it is somewhere you would really like to work, don't be afraid to send a CV periodically, say every 6 months (just do a slightly different covering letter each time).
By the law of averages, the more applications you make, the more likely you are to get an interview and, from there, an offer of a job. Stay positive and keep trying. Sound eager. Sound helpful. Tell them you have a "can do" attitude and what you lack in experience you make up for in enthusiasm and a willingness to learn. Big yourself up and you will find that first job. If it is not what you want to stay in long term, keep looking for something different but keep working in the meantime and, perhaps, take driving lessons so you have another skill to add to your CV.
We've all been there. There are jobs out there but you need to fight for them and impress the person seeking to fill the position. The job is not going to land in your lap. Don't take it personally when you don't even get a response as employers can be inundated with applications. Make yours stand out and you are more likely to get an interview.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (12 July 2019):
If you are like most young people who want to be management before having any experience...then you are screwed. A job is a job.
I am sure McDonald's, starbucks, a cleaning company, and jobs as such are hiring. You have no work experience, so no office firm is going to hire you. Most likely those are the kind of jobs you are applying for.
Even if you got a job at McDonald's, it's NOT a life time placement. It's a stepping stone...One step at a time. At McDonald's, you will learn how to deal with people, or in a better term "Clients". You will learn multitasking skills, and organizational skills. Learn how to keep your work area clean, and learn how to interact with other employees and management.
So if you are looking down at a job at McDonald's as not may kind of thing, then you have already started your off in the wrong direction...and screwed yourself.
If the job is legal, then get to work. Money you get from working in an office, is the same damn money you get working in McDonald's. It's not US Dollars in an office, and Mexican Dollars at McDonald's.
Same way you have to learn how to drive, same way you have learn to have work skills. You don't just finish school and BOOM...you are skilled worker.
Your parents have nothing to do with how YOUR mind works.
Any job you do...Be the best at it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2019): Why not ask one of your driving friends to teach you how to drive? You can get a learner's permit from the Dept. of Motor Vehicles.
Taking a driver's course is an option; but if you have no income you can't pay the fee for driver's school. A learner's permit will allow you to get behind the wheel; as long as you're with a licensed-driver. They can teach you to drive in an empty parking-lot like over 90% of people out there on the road. Don't be helpless. Use your available resources. If you have friends, ask them to help you.
Your problem really isn't your parents. It's your lack of self-confidence and initiative. Oh yes, let's add "impatience!" Your parents take advantage of your total dependence, and the ease at which you give-up. They mock you because you won't make any attempt to seek what you want from available resources; and if you don't instantly get it, you become frustrated. They won't help because it allows them to maintain control over your life.
I'll be frank with you. Degrees in the Humanities are so nonspecific that many employers just over-look those applications. They are often looking for specific qualifications and field-expertise. You have no job-experience and a degree that looks pretty on the wall; but unless you are looking for jobs in social services (which often also requires you to get your masters degree) you will have to accept whatever you can get; just to get some job-experience under your belt.
You don't have to be a nurse. If you have no specific goals, you don't know what kind of jobs you should be applying for. Your parents are only going to suggest what they know is safe and obtainable. They also know you don't want to have to go through another several years of college for a different course major. Which you may still have to do; if you have no particular skill-set, and you've never held-down a job.
Take a retail job or office administration position; then figure-out what it is you want to do. Keep taking the bus, until you gather the nerve to ask a friend for help.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2019): I don't see why you are so keen to move out of your parents? Pardon me but if you think that will give you sexual freedom, well that is not true because you needn't have your own flat to have sex. Do you know if you leave home and have your individual place then you have to cook, wash, sweep, do your own laundry etc etc..
Having a B.A is not a mean achievement just keep looking and you shouldn't refuse to start from the lowest rung of the ladder and as you gain more experience you will clime higher and higher. Don't imitate your friends. Be more clever than them. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 July 2019):
 I don't know which kind of job you have applied to and what you are interested in. With a BA in Humanities you could be looking for Human recourse jobs. Will it pay enough to live away from your parents? Perhaps. It all depends on WHERE you apply. NOT having a drivers licence limits you 99% unless you live in a big/major city with public transport.
So IF you don't live in a big/major city - LOOK into ANY job that will pay you. Seriously. Even in fast food. MAKE enough to get a diver's licence and a reliable car that you can AFFORD, and THEN apply to jobs you REALLY want.
I don't know why you parent didn't help you with this, finances perhaps? You really aren't OWED college, diver licence, a job or a place of your own. THAT is something you have to work for.
SET yourself some goals that aren't too lofty to start with.
Like getting a job (ANY job that will PAY so you can SAVE UP for the licence and car, start paying off your student loans - DID you even look into grants?)
Also when you picked your degree did you not look into WHAT you could use it for later? Call your college's career guidance/counselors and see what they can suggest as well.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 July 2019):
 First of all, stop looking to your parents for either validation or permission to live your life the way you choose. You will never cut that leash even if you move out unless you make your choices now.
Second, if you're finished with school, the bottom line is to get a job that can make you independent. Go to your state's Workforce Management center or your college message boards or career center for job leads, and then start applying. Start networking -- meaning talk to all the people you know, friends, relatives, past-co-workers, and find out if they know any job openings they can vouch for you for.
As for driving, sign up and take a driving course including behind the wheel, and learn to drive! You can pay for behind the wheel time until you are comfortable enough to take and pass the driving test.
Until then, public transportation is your friend, or sign up for a car pool scenario at whatever job you end up taking.
Also consider a roommate if you don't have the money to quite live alone. But don't wait for your parents to help you achieve these goals.
...............................
|
