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*anniepeg agony aunt

*anniepeg

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*anniepeg's profile:

I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.

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FWB where I developed feelings for her. She seemed to wantt more too. Now she denies ever feeling that?

Q.   So I'm looking for some feedback. I'm a 32 year old male. I've got a fwb that has been going on for quite some time now. Thing is, I think I'd somewhat developed feelings for her. The reason I'd developed some feelings is because of all of the ...

A.   20 August 2016: Because sex with absolutely nothing feels cheap, slutty, and mechanical. I guess what a lot of young people want is the gf/bf experience without the negatives that come into it: insecurity, jealousy, feeling of being trapped, fear of break up. Flash ... (read in full...)

Is it really over or could there be another reason for his reluctance to reply to my last question following our break-up?

Q.   Premise: It was a whirlwind romance that started out as an innocent friendship ended with a declaration of "I like you" and talks about what it would be like to be married and plans of a future together, but due to current circumstances we had to ...

A.   20 August 2016: He didn't answer because if he said he never had feelings, he would come across as a player, a liar, having led you on for 3 months. If he said he still has feelings, it encourages you to hold on to this romance. I don't know what current ... (read in full...)

FWB where I developed feelings for her. She seemed to wantt more too. Now she denies ever feeling that?

Q.   So I'm looking for some feedback. I'm a 32 year old male. I've got a fwb that has been going on for quite some time now. Thing is, I think I'd somewhat developed feelings for her. The reason I'd developed some feelings is because of all of the ...

A.   19 August 2016: I guess it's the same for lots of women who ask us why their fwb guys would act cuddly and sweet, but not want a relationship. I guess kissing, hanging out and having fun do not necessarily count as romantic, at least for women. Women need to have a ... (read in full...)

Sure ''anything'' could happen. But is he being genuine ? Are his words genuine? Or is he giving me false hope?

Q.   My ex and I broke up a few months ago when he told me he didnt know if he loved me anymore. Things are amicable so we're remaining friends. However, whenever i bring up my feelings for him and the relationship, he tells me "anything can ha...

A.   16 August 2016: A guy who doesn't know what he wants does not deserve your love. To know whether he loves you or not, you have to look at whether he is capable of loving. How long have you been with him? I am assuming that things could have gotten boring for him ... (read in full...)

Why can't our married friend break up with his mistress?

Q.   Can anyone tell me why a married man keeps hanging onto his mistress for many years? She is high maintenance, is not always nice to him, is a drain on him physically and emotionally and causes him headaches and complications in his life. And ye...

A.   11 August 2016: The possessiveness, jealousy, insecurity, the emotional torture. . . That's love to him. She must really "love" him if she's suffering so much. That gives him the ego boost. Some people want drama when at home everything's boring. Maybe the mistress ... (read in full...)

I'm feeling insecure and would appreciate some insight.

Q.   Hey there, My amazing boyfriend of almost one year has me slightly confused and saddened due to an incident that occurred last night and I would love your honest opinions...last night during sex I noticed that he was losing his erection. During t...

A.   11 August 2016: Doesn't sound that amazing to me. True, you can't expect a boyfriend to be always turned on by you and no one else, and that a penis is some mechanical device on call by you. This guy you described sounds like he relies on outside sources to relieve ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend said he doesn't want me to work with him 'in case I get upset because of what he says to other women?'

Q.   Earlier this year my boyfriend of 6 years wanted to go for a very promising job opportunity and encouraged me to go for it as well. He said it wouldn't matter that we worked together, though I was sceptical as I don't want us to see 'too much' of ...

A.   10 August 2016: He just wants to stimulate a bit of insecurity in you. Maybe that makes him feel powerful and flattered that you fear losing him. He already got you thinking a lot. What I would do is just make it a non issue. Many men tease their women but actually ... (read in full...)

He earns 8 times what I earn. Is it fair that I contribute 50 . 50 for all dating costs

Q.   I've been dating a guy for about 6 months, he earns very good money (about 8 times what I do), should meals out/ trips away be split 50 / 50 , or should he be expected to pay more as he is the higher earner and had a lot more disposable cash than me ...

A.   9 August 2016: I would be okay if he's still figuring out where this relationship leads and making sure that you like him as he is, not just his money. I wouldn't be okay if his attitude is such that he's grown bitter towards women and that being calculative maybe ... (read in full...)

My Bf says I look too young. Is he embarassed to be seen with me? I'm 22.

Q.   Hi guys, I have an issue with my boyfriend which is making me question myself. Basically, I am 22 and he is 28, I have always looked quite young but at 22 i still get mistaken for like 16 sometimes and usually people say i look young. I used to ...

A.   9 August 2016: He just wants to put you down. It's not about how old you look. I am sure if he's dating a mature woman with wrinkles and stretch marks he will find a way to put her down too. If the woman looks normal, then she's boring. You will never win him ... (read in full...)

If I can't control my moods I'll lose him

Q.   I don't even know where to start, I lost my mum at the beginning of the year and ever since then I feel my life spiralling out of control. Especially my relationship, I have the best boyfriend in the world and I'm not 100 per cent sure why he's st...

A.   24 July 2016: You have a traumatic loss. Your concern should not be a better girlfriend or better anything because that would just give you pressure when you should be allowed as much time as you need to heal and to process your feelings. You don't need the kind ... (read in full...)

Was it heat of the moment, or serious?

Q.   Brief description... My FWB and I bought feelings for each other. We have both been working a lot of conflicting hours. He asked me to be his and I thought it was a joke. We took FWB off the table. It can't work NSA if feelings are tied into it...

A.   24 July 2016: Here's when it gets tricky. You can't pretend you didn't hear the L word and still treat him as casual. He will play mind games with you. He wants the girlfriend experience for 30 minutes at a time, once a week or fortnight then disappear for the ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend doesn't like traditional sex. Is that a red flag?

Q.   Maybe this is a problem a lot of guys would wish to have, but my girlfriend of one year doesn't like traditional sex. She loves to give me oral and when we do have sex she always steers it towards anal sex. I say this jokingly, but feel like I a...

A.   24 July 2016: Some women who had a hysterectomy lose sensation down there. If it's a medical issue, then this is not an issue of preference because she did not choose to have a disease which affects her sexual ability and enjoyment. Her reasoning that anal sex is ... (read in full...)

What help is available for a man who feels "lost"? Loving wife and family, and yet I feel so very alone and isolated

Q.   I am at the apex of my career. I have a wife who loves me and three great kids. Everyone sees a picture that is so far from what I feel inside. I feel increasing disconnected from everyone and everything. I have no one whom I can ask for help, or...

A.   23 July 2016: It sounds like expressing feelings is not encouraged in the family. It's all about success and how you look on the outside. This is a common thing in wealthy families. There is nothing wrong with feeling lost and alone. It's not like you are going ... (read in full...)

He avoids eye contact, it makes me angry!

Q.   brief backstory was seeing a guy, became a push and pull relationship, i got sick of it and ended it. went no contact for about 6 weeks until he called to check in on me, saw him in person after that and he shook my hand and wouldn't make ey...

A.   23 July 2016: Eyes are the window of the soul. When someone avoids eye contact, in your case it means he can't face you. He's embarrassed by his behavior and regretted playing games with you. He does not have the courtesy to say sorry, he wasted your time. He ... (read in full...)

Could this be the end of our marriage ?.

Q.   I love my husband. We've been together for almost 15 years. We are in our late 30's now and don't have any kids (we both agree on that). We have weathered many storms (financial difficulties, moving away from our country of origin...) and s...

A.   22 July 2016: Yes I think so but you should be afraid of being with him instead of getting him out of your life. You can not live comfortably off the grid without people around you. No water means he might have to walk 20 miles just to get it. One of the legit ... (read in full...)

Should I ask him what's happening, and if it's just sex?

Q.   I started seeing a guy in September last year. We do work together and have done for a few years and always get on. Another colleague told me that this guy quite liked me so we started talking and went on a couple of dates and started seeing e...

A.   22 July 2016: A guy can like you and still not want a relationship. He may be doing an on and off relationship with someone else or he's not over his ex. If there's "anything happening" he wouldn't have ended it at the beginning of the year. He doesn't sound ... (read in full...)

Was it heat of the moment, or serious?

Q.   Brief description... My FWB and I bought feelings for each other. We have both been working a lot of conflicting hours. He asked me to be his and I thought it was a joke. We took FWB off the table. It can't work NSA if feelings are tied into it...

A.   22 July 2016: When people drop the L bomb, it's more appropriate when you are sure the other person loves you back. Otherwise it is just heat of the moment. What he meant is that he has strong feelings for you. Maybe he said it to see if you can say it back. You ... (read in full...)

Is this girl suitable as a LTR girl for me?

Q.   We've known each other for two years and we've been starting something (seeing eachothers and sleeping together) for four months. I like her really. I liked her as a person also before, when we were just friends, and she has always captured my ...

A.   22 July 2016: Suitable as friend or girlfriend, but not long term. Your philosophy about single life is okay for everyone else, you even, but never for a wife. For friends and lovers, common interest is important. For a wife, she has to not have something you ... (read in full...)

Feeling trapped but afraid to leave and regret it.

Q.   I feel like I am in a predicament. I am in a relationship of about a year and four months. We were friends a few years before getting together. Due to circumstances after a few months of us dating I moved in with him because I had nowhere else to ...

A.   19 July 2016: You need the car more than he does. Let him keep the cabin, you keep the car. Sounds fair to me. Tell his dad that you will pay him for the repairs but I doubt he would charge you. If that doesn't work out, sell the car and split the cost between ... (read in full...)

Why am I such a loser at 41? Where have I gone wrong?

Q.   I have posted a few times about individual problems and worries and have always received help from this forum. Instead of going to a therapist - and I did it 2 years ago - I'm here to ask you what I'm doing wrong. I am of Asian origin and was r...

A.   19 July 2016: You must not blame yourself for your relationship failures. Is it possible that throughout your 18 month marriage, your self esteem went to the floor and somehow you felt that you don't deserve happiness? There was desperation from your post and I ... (read in full...)

I feel he doesn't love me enough to get engaged, what do I do?

Q.   Hiya everyone I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now we have a 19 month old daughter together we have talked about getting engaged as we were discussing this yesterday my boyfriend said he doesn't want to get engaged but we will if I want to am ...

A.   19 July 2016: You went ahead of yourselves by having a baby first. I am not saying it's necessarily a mistake. You do not know if you have another chance of getting pregnant again. You were still at your prime age to carry a baby. Your boyfriend probably liked ... (read in full...)

Is it bad to enjoy no strings attached?

Q.   I've been a goody two shoes my whole life. This has been partly out of my fear about making mistakes (I'm a perfectionist) and just a big worrier. I've always hated that I come across as such a square. I've been in a few serious relationships bu...

A.   19 July 2016: The happiest countries are those who are liberated from society's constraints. Where being single moms is not a shame. Where LGBTU is widely accepted. Think of Canada, Australia and the Scandinavian countries. I hear that in Iceland, men do not feel ... (read in full...)

Were his family opposed to me? Or did he just want me for one thing? We broke up but he said we could still be FWB.

Q.   Hi, I met this guy nearly 2 years ago, we were really good friends. He then became flirty with me and I had an attraction to him, but then he said we could just be fwb I guess I couldn't go through with this idea and we agreed to continue being fr...

A.   19 July 2016: His family were opposed to you because they are skeptical of women who had to convert instead of being raised Muslim all their lives. As to your ways being annoying to him, I guess that translates to you being demanding, compared to Muslim women who ... (read in full...)

Feeling trapped but afraid to leave and regret it.

Q.   I feel like I am in a predicament. I am in a relationship of about a year and four months. We were friends a few years before getting together. Due to circumstances after a few months of us dating I moved in with him because I had nowhere else to ...

A.   18 July 2016: The small cabin is in his parents' backyard? Are you saving money for a house then? If possible, sleep in different bedrooms and lock the door. Your sleep times have to be respected. It sounds like you work better as friends. Not saying break up... (read in full...)

A real dilemma......

Q.   Many of you know me for my brilliant advice on this site.... HOWEVER, I now have an enigma of my own.... for which I'd like to ask others their opinion. To wit: If there are two people who are being intimate.... and they have no in...

A.   17 July 2016: If they have no intention to marry each other, but would like to in the future, to somebody else, it's still premarital sex. But if they are both so against the idea of marriage, or they have a crystal ball telling them they would never ever get ... (read in full...)

Are the scratches on my boyfriend's chest consistent with cheating?

Q.   Hello everyone. I am having a hard time with a situation I am in. I have nobody to turn to so I am hoping I can get some good advice here. My boyfriend and I have been together for several years. He and I were together a couple of days a...

A.   17 July 2016: More like he was on top of her. Woman on top means it's too long for her hands to reach there and to get support. Missionary makes the most sense. I can't picture any other position that caused the scratches. There's no way he doesn't know how the ... (read in full...)

Why does he act all uncaring?

Q.   So we have been going for about 2 months and 1/2 of the relationship we spent it together, then he moved. I fell for him because he seemed to genuinely care about me and was concerned about how I was doing. Lately though he makes the conversations ...

A.   17 July 2016: Maybe his stress isn't the kind that you can get over by unwinding, going to a spa and sleep it off. Maybe it's a kind that people with quarter life crisis go through. The sense that the future looks bleak and that he failed his parents or ... (read in full...)

Is he stringing me along? He doesn't know what he wants?

Q.   My LDR is turning kind of confusing. My bf and I have been dating a short while and we spent abt a month together before he left. He wanted this, but when he left, he started going hot and cold. Yes we skype, but other then that its like he ...

A.   16 July 2016: What he means is that he doesn't know how to deal with the stress of it. If the relationship is more stress than happiness, then it's not worth it. If you work with him, continue to build trust and deal with stress in a rational manner, and he still ... (read in full...)

Is he stringing me along? He doesn't know what he wants?

Q.   My LDR is turning kind of confusing. My bf and I have been dating a short while and we spent abt a month together before he left. He wanted this, but when he left, he started going hot and cold. Yes we skype, but other then that its like he ...

A.   16 July 2016: I think what he wants depends on whether he will come back to your town, or if you will travel to him. It's normal to feel hurt, frustrated because of not knowing where you stand. There's nothing else he can do but skype and tell you about his ... (read in full...)

I regret breaking up with her, advice needed

Q.   My ex-gf and I had been together about two months but were exclusive after a month, and I told her I loved her (she said she loved me back). We had a lot in common and very similar personalities, so we fell for each other fast. We did have some ...

A.   13 July 2016: Did she buy you the concert ticket and if so, was it wasted? I think she will accept your apology but to make this work, you need to make time for her. She needs to be realistic about how much work you do and whether she can accept your busy ... (read in full...)

How can foster love between my mothe and my son?

Q.   Hello! I have a 9-year-old son. He's a very loving child, but he is also a know-it-all and he talks back a lot. I'm trying to reel this in. The problem is my mother chooses not to deal with him a lot of times. He's been this way since he could ...

A.   11 July 2016: Your son is like my son, who is either strongly liked or disliked by people. Your mom certainly has her type for people. She prefers people who are pleasant, well mannered and not challenging. Your son may be an intellectual and very forward with ... (read in full...)

Is it me that is making women act like this?

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm looking for some advice. I am a male who was abused both psychologically and physically. I am no longer in that relationship but I have been on my own for many years now. I do have difficulty in letting other people in ...

A.   8 July 2016: You can't make anyone act a certain way. I believe it has to do with your background. Attraction is a mystery. We pick people who resonate with us. If we were mistreated by our parents, then subconsciously, we think that abuse is familiar, it feels ... (read in full...)

My husband’s sister seems to be in love with him!

Q.   Is my sister in law in love with my husband? Long story short weve been married for 7-8 yrs now 2 beautiful kids..he has a younger sister theyre 9 yrs apart and every time shes around she does anything to get his attention.. she seems to be jealous ...

A.   8 July 2016: Let's say his sister is 15 or 16. That's an age where girls get curious about sex, boyfriends and want to dress adult. Maybe she does not have a boyfriend so she is simulating what an adult relationship feels like with her brother. Your husband ... (read in full...)

Does this girl like me? I can't tell

Q.   So i talked to this girl over the phone and she kept giggling and saying I'm cute. Then we met in person and she told me that i have a nice body and she told me I'm cute again. She was acting super nervous around me and said to me "Sorry for ac...

A.   4 July 2016: She likes you in a way that you can always meet up and have a good time. But if you are asking if she likes you romantically, I have doubts. She doesn't sound like someone who wants to settle down. She's pretty much carefree, living a hedonistic ... (read in full...)

I love women. But I seem to react differently. do get an erection when a woman sees me naked. Does this mean I might be gay?

Q.   There is something weird about me. As far back as I can remember, I have always been sexually different from normal men. I do not think I am gay. I am not attracted to other men at all. I am attracted to women, but in a different manner from ...

A.   4 July 2016: We always hear that guys are visual so that makes you the odd one out because your attraction is audio and tactile. Also the thought that you are exposed and stared at. I am guessing she would not leave a blind guy but she would leave a guy who's ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend dumped me after 6 years out of nowhere. Did he plan this???

Q.   Both 23. It has been 2 weeks and everytime I hear nothing from him I am slowly hardening my heart to ever speaking to him ever again. He has been in college these past years, and has not been that happy but I stuck by him, when he got a job a few we...

A.   3 July 2016: I am guessing he is an alcoholic and he knows he can't drink in front of you. You expect him to grow up, spend money on vacations and a future, and that future does not include him drinking whenever he feels like it. He chose alcohol over you. His ... (read in full...)

I'm a 29 year old guy. Virgin, never had a girlfriend, never even kissed a girl. I am thinking of giving up on finding someone, and just trying to have sex. What are my options?

Q.   I guess the title says a lot of it. I'm a guy in my late 20's, no girlfriend, haven't had one before. Not really any friends, and it's been awhile since I had any of those either. I have a job, but I'm not really able to connect with anyone. I try ...

A.   2 July 2016: If you can't connect with a girl on a friendship level, it will be even harder to get a one night stand. Do you have sisters or cousins that you grew up with? Do you have other people you can practice with? Perhaps teaching English to foreigners? Or ... (read in full...)

My LDR boyfriend isn't interested in phone or video sex after we met up and slept together in person! Is he losing interest?

Q.   I am dating my boyfriend from last two years. we met through Facebook.In the initial stage of our relationship when we were in long distance. we used to Skype everyday.. almost every day we used to do naughty stuff on video chat. Whenever we used to ...

A.   2 July 2016: I don't know if there's any love expressed besides the physical. Anything relationship that is based on sex can not hold a person's attention for long. If you just see each other as an outlet for sexual desire, then the connection stops whenever the ... (read in full...)

My dad left our family for his mistress. Why is he being aggressive?

Q.   He had an affair his tenant and now has left us for her and her family. Whenever he calls now he's really aggressive and angry for no reason at all, why? He hasn't contacted me or my brother for 13 weeks now. When he comes to our house he starts ...

A.   2 July 2016: The mistress must have made him choose between her or your family. Afraid of losing her, he chose her but then quickly regretted the decision. Kind of like "what the hell was I thinking" kind of reaction. Now talking to you made him feel guilty. He ... (read in full...)

Passion has gone from our private life. We don't get out socially together enough. How do I woo her back again?

Q.   My wife and I have been together for 8 years now. We met in China and for several years, things were rocky. Then after so much conflict and so many problems, things settled down. We are looking forward to our first home settling so we can move i...

A.   1 July 2016: Just assert your happiness and "personhood." You can be a man with a fragile heart. It's the same with two females living together and one of them is abusive and disrespectful. One of them has to go. It doesn't have to be about gender roles. S... (read in full...)

It's my first date in years! Help?

Q.   Hey, I'll make this as short as I can. I finally asked out the girl that I'm infatuated with and she said yes. We're supposed to go out for dinner in a few days. Problen is, I haven't been out on a date in so long I don't know what to do. I've been ...

A.   1 July 2016: If you can enjoy yourselves at dinner and you get the feel that she's single and focused on you, then you can walk her home holding hands and kiss her goodbye. The magic of the first date is that dates are unpredictable, you never know what to ... (read in full...)

Passion has gone from our private life. We don't get out socially together enough. How do I woo her back again?

Q.   My wife and I have been together for 8 years now. We met in China and for several years, things were rocky. Then after so much conflict and so many problems, things settled down. We are looking forward to our first home settling so we can move i...

A.   29 June 2016: You finally got yourself a home, congratulations. It would be a shame to end it now, after so many of us had told you to do so before when your living situation was not ideal. Another way to say it is, if you didn't leave when you were rock bottom, ... (read in full...)

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