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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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What to do? I'm dating a woman aged 30 and I can't handle her "sleeping around" in the past.
Q. I'm in my early 20s, not perfect but I met a woman who's 30 recently and we really hit it off. However shes has a LOT of bad things in her past. I'm not misogynist and I have obviously slept with girlfriends but she did a load of crazy stuff when...
A. 19 September 2016: Having sex at 16 in front of a crowd and taking drugs can not be considered fun. It's attention seeking when there's not enough love at home. At lot of wealthy families look perfect on the outside but inside there's no connection and people are ... (read in full...)
If I'm a good kisser, how likely is it that I'll also be a good lover?
Q. I've made out with 5-6 girls and I think I'm a good kisser because I know women hate men who slober over them and I try to figure out what does it for them and try to make them feel good. I honestly think I get more enjoyment thinking I'm g...
A. 19 September 2016: I think a lot of women would like a pleaser, meaning that you think of their pleasure as priority. However, some women like dominant men who instruct them what to do. Some women want to skip foreplay and just go straight into long sessions. So there ... (read in full...)
I'm besotted with a female colleague
Q. Hi, I'm currently married with children, happily I must add. Intimacy has been an issue between us for a longtime and not just sex but otherwise we are very happy and good together. About a week ago through the course of work I met another woman wh...
A. 19 September 2016: I don't think you are happy if you are feeling this way. You tell yourself to be happy, keep up a smile, to convince yourself so that you won't leave. Has your wife always been that way or did her sex drive dry up after having children? If not ... (read in full...)
Do I assume he's not intereted?
Q. I'm feeling very confused about a guy at work!! I've like him for quite a while and we always have fun sort of banter, and went on a group holiday where we just got on really well and I sort of thought he might like me. anyway, a couple of weeks ago ...
A. 18 September 2016: It sounds like he has unfinished business with his ex an he went ahead of himself. If they were really over ages ago they would not be hanging around all the time. He would not bring in conversations of ex so much. You just won't hear about her. He ... (read in full...)
Dating has gotten me confused about what I want!
Q. Dating and making decisions... Need advice! I am on a dating site. I agreed to meet two men on there. One I have been writing to for a few days, and we share the same goals in life, he is very handsome, and I can see a future with a man like him. He ...
A. 18 September 2016: I think you should wait for a new batch of guys, even if that takes time. If at age 30 you are not sure if you want the whole package of house and kids, then maybe you shouldn't pressure yourself to have them because it may make you settle for ... (read in full...)
Unexpected break-up. Can anyone give me any advice? Advice from guys would be much appreciated.
Q. Me and my boyfriend were together for nine months and I was so happy. Suddenly, he broke up with me on Monday and I don’t understand why. He said he thinks we’re not suited and have different life experiences but I don’t understand how this can...
A. 18 September 2016: Whenever break up reasons sound bullshit, they usually are. Long distance relationships, long, short, going nowhere, are sometimes a cover up for the real reason that it can't be serious. It's easier to lie and to put up a front when most of your ... (read in full...)
He runs hot or cold. Should I continue to pursue him, or not?
Q. Hello agony aunts and uncles, I am a 26 year old gay man in the need of advice. My story begins with a man that messaged me from afar on a dating app. In the beginning, I thought it was just going to be a long distance kind of thing that would fa...
A. 17 September 2016: People wouldn't usually look for serious relationships from others who live 4 hours away. I remember when I dabbled with dating sites and saw men who lived more than 2 hours away contact me, I would be wondering why bother, and just ignored them. I ... (read in full...)
I'm alarmed at my LDR boyfriend's interest in a receptionist
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship. We only see each other about once a month. We've been together over 3 years. My boyfriend enjoys buying old cars from auctions, fixing them up, then reselling them. He has always brought his cars to a friend's...
A. 17 September 2016: You can ask your boyfriend if he knows she's single and if she knows of your relationship. Is there a plan that you would close this distance and get married, and if yes is he excited about it? Just from your post there isn't enough going on to ... (read in full...)
Dating has gotten me confused about what I want!
Q. Dating and making decisions... Need advice! I am on a dating site. I agreed to meet two men on there. One I have been writing to for a few days, and we share the same goals in life, he is very handsome, and I can see a future with a man like him. He ...
A. 15 September 2016: Tell guy no. 2 that he has to quit smoking if he wants to keep seeing you (which I doubt he would do) and that he would need to take allergy medicine because you are not going to just hang out as his place all the time. If he takes the allergy ... (read in full...)
Why am I jealous of this one girl who now means nothing to him?
Q. So basically I have been with my BF 10 months today and things have been beyond perfect, few fights, no girl issues just pure love as we live about 2 hours away from Eachother (depending on traffic) he comes To see me every week and stays ove...
A. 14 September 2016: Love can be quite greedy. Your present is almost perfect because you only get to see each other once a week. You also want the future, and his past. What that girl had that you don't was the raw emotions and the painful unrequited love that he felt ... (read in full...)
I'm extremely insecure about my boyfriend's lesbian friend who seems so accomplished compared to me
Q. My partner of 3 years and I are engaged, I am feeling so down about myself and insecure over something I have noticed ever since I first got with him. He tells me he loves me very much and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and everyone ...
A. 14 September 2016: Yeah, your fiancé sounds very braggy and he's feeing his obsession on his crush online. It's possible that during the 3 year relationship, he's telling her about dating you the first time, how in love he is, how now he's so happy to have found the ... (read in full...)
I am married to a lovely man but still pine for my ex but I don't want to feel that way!
Q. im married to a guy who has been seen by my family. i was in relationship with a guy for 4 years before my wedding but he left me for another girl. so in that anger i just accepted for this wedding. my husband is really a nice person. he knows my ...
A. 13 September 2016: It sounds like this marriage was arranged and it was not built by solid commitment and connection. You married him in a desperate state and not out of love. When your husband went away it was like out of sight, out of mind. The closest thing you ... (read in full...)
How do you balance being true to your own vision with implementing advice from others?
Q. How do we figure out the importance of being true to your own vision versus what is actually best for you. The only way I feel I have grown as a person is by listening selectively to people to see how they think I can improve also combined wi...
A. 13 September 2016: You should have said, "I think short hair suits you better" and stopped there instead of attributing his failure in dates to his long hair, which is outside your judgment. You don't know for sure his long hair is a turn off for other guys, or that ... (read in full...)
Crushing on someone 31 years older. But how can we have a future?
Q. I am crushing very hard on a 57 year old man and he doesn't know. He's told me that he feels a "connection" to me is attracted to me and cares for me. We went out as friends and ended up talking for almost four hours in a restaurant. He was ...
A. 13 September 2016: I understand what the last answer was saying. So what is the danger in falling in love with a charming guy you may ask? The moment he withdraws affections (purposefully, you can it love bombing and love starving) is the moment you are tempted to win ... (read in full...)
How can I explain to my friends that she's a great girl, despite what I said earlier?
Q. When I was 9 years old I moved to a new town and my neighbour kissed me on the cheek and said that I was her boyfriend and she has pretty much been my life since then. We dated for as long as I can remember, she was my first kiss, first girl I t...
A. 13 September 2016: If all your friends heard was the bad things you told them but they didn't know you cheated on her, then they would wonder why you got back with her. They would always be on your side. Sometimes friends are jealous of our relationships. Maybe when ... (read in full...)
How can I encourage my online date to be positive with himself?
Q. I have been trying online dating and have been chatting with a nice man and we plan to meet . He seems a bit low within himself , we were chatting today about general stuff and he seems a bit depressed about his weight he told me 2 years ago he lost ...
A. 12 September 2016: Tell him about a diet he can stick to with lots of veggies and beans. Get a cookbook like macrobiotic, paleo, or anything you like and suggest that you would cook a meal together. You can also suggest a dance class and ask him to join.
If that does... (read in full...)
Are there any safety concerns in being a nudist?
Q. When I am home alone, I enjoy walking around completely nude. For me, there is nothing sexual about it, I just don't like wearing clothes. I am just wondering if this is a sign of something wrong with me mentality or is normal for some people to ...
A. 12 September 2016: None. I went to Harbin Hot Springs in Northern California and it was one of the most peaceful places you can be in. It would be ideal to go as a couple. If you are alone you don't need to be pressured to socialize with others. What kind of concerns ... (read in full...)
Crushing on someone 31 years older. But how can we have a future?
Q. I am crushing very hard on a 57 year old man and he doesn't know. He's told me that he feels a "connection" to me is attracted to me and cares for me. We went out as friends and ended up talking for almost four hours in a restaurant. He was ...
A. 12 September 2016: There will be a divide in the outcome, depends on how you look at this. If your mindset is to get married and have kids in 5 years, have someone you can show off to your family, he won't be a good choice. If you see artistic or spiritual value in ... (read in full...)
When does an age gap become too big?
Q. How big do you think age gaps in relationships should be? In all kinds of relationships: friendships, romantic relationships, sex buddies. Do generational differences get in the way? When does an age gap become too much to relate to someone in ...
A. 12 September 2016: As you know, relationships are more than just getting along well. Getting along is the base requirement. As you get to know each other deeply, you will want to know that your life goals match. Examples are, would you move away for college, work? ... (read in full...)
Can people tell when they're "the mutton dressed as the lamb"?
Q. Just in case people are not familiar with the term “mutton dressed as lamb" - it refers to older people who try to appear younger (and usually fail dismally). And it's most often applied to women who wear clothes that are aimed at a much younger ...
A. 10 September 2016: I think you should dress as you please but I am sure some have negative opinions whatever you do. Of course some are jealous too, of people who can pull off as a younger person. The mutton dressed as the lamb only applies to clothes that are too ... (read in full...)
I didn't cheat on my girlfriend, but she is convinced I've been unfaithful. Do we have any chance of getting back together?
Q. My Girlfriend thinks I've cheated on her. Throw me out, saying I've no respect, can't really love her and I've lied. The thing is I haven't cheated I had a weekend with my brother and we stayed in a hotel up in London. I didnt tell her I was s...
A. 8 September 2016: There are possibilities of getting back together, but you keep on running into trust issues like these. Or you get back together only on the condition that she works on her insecurity and trust issues. You may also feel that you don't deserve to be ... (read in full...)
My Cheating Girlfriend.... What do I do?
Q. So here it. As I write this my girlfriend is at 35,000ft with the guy she has been cheating on me with on their way to Tenerife. I had been with my girlfriend for almost 7 years. For a couple of months now I had suspected she was cheating a...
A. 7 September 2016: Yes you should ignore her because had your friend not seen the pair together, she would have kept that secret and you would still be in the dark. You don't have to open the other emails even if you feel tempted. Maybe one day when you are over her ... (read in full...)
What can I do? She can't bring herself to believe me, nor let it go.
Q. The relationship between me and my girlfriend of a little over a year has been pretty rough lately. We recently took a break that was originally supposed to be a month. It ended up only being a week. Anyway, during the break I bought some condoms,...
A. 7 September 2016: Here's what's tricky. Does a break mean you are not in a relationship anymore and you are not considered exclusive, or was the purpose of the break just to cool off and reflect? Was there an agreement or did you at some point worry that the break ... (read in full...)
My Cheating Girlfriend.... What do I do?
Q. So here it. As I write this my girlfriend is at 35,000ft with the guy she has been cheating on me with on their way to Tenerife. I had been with my girlfriend for almost 7 years. For a couple of months now I had suspected she was cheating a...
A. 6 September 2016: After a break up in 2012, I also kept myself busy like going to amusement parks and the spa. I lost my appetite and 15 pounds in the span of 2 weeks. Going to bed and waking up were the toughest thing for me. In a half sleep half awake state, I ... (read in full...)
Do I break up with L and choose an untested but potentially amazing relationship with S ?
Q. Three years ago I met S., and we dated for a little while before he said that he wasn't ready for a relationship because he was getting over a recent breakup. Over the next year, he kept changing his mind between wanting to be friends and wanting ...
A. 6 September 2016: I believe emotional, physical and intellectual connection are built and sustained throughout the years, not something you feel on an instant, or on a fantasy. I would never trust S because it sounds like he never knows what he wants and only wants ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I'm self sufficent, he's not. He's not motivated to find work in his field. He relies on his parents and me.
Q. Hi Hope you can help me please. I just don't know how to handle this. I have been married for over a year, together 5. My husband has 2 children, whom I adore. I own a lovely home, which has the potential to be extended, so I told my h...
A. 5 September 2016: Let him live with his parents then. Your baby should live in a smoke free environment. Second hand smoke increases the risk of sudden infant death syndrome. Are his kids staying with their own mother? Maybe they should stay there until that ... (read in full...)
Does he care? Or am I crazy? Am I obsessed with him? Or am I just in love?
Q. It's taken me a Few moments to figure out how I should ask my question, but the Fact is The question Is just as confusing as the story..... A couple Of months ago I met this guy, I had just gotten out of a relationship Three months prior to the ...
A. 5 September 2016: I had this feeling before. It was just hormones and obsession. He wants nothing to do with you yet he doesn't want you to move on. He was butt hurt that you didn't move in with him after a week of talking. He wanted you to feel the hurt he did when ... (read in full...)
I think I've fallen for my FWB, but I'm afraid that telling him will shut down our arrangement. What do I do?
Q. I think I'm falling for my FWB.. At first this seemed like an ideal situation and we both approached the topic as adults. We listed our rules and expectations. He lives 45 min away (by car) and we see each other on weekends when he has time off and ...
A. 1 September 2016: So what does drama/bs mean? From my experience, it means usually, the woman expects more from the guy because once a week just isn't enough. She wants to know that she's worth more than just being the weekend girl. The guy would feel pressured to ... (read in full...)
Think I've reached the end but can't get out
Q. We've been together for nine years and I do care about her. We have had great times in the past, get along OK most of the time and she has helped me out tremendously when I need it, but it's not working. Part of that is me. I went to the wrong co...
A. 30 August 2016: Ask your girlfriend if she stopped being affectionate because she's worried about your financial situation. If you want to break up because you don't feel desired from her, you are getting ahead of yourself because until you find a more stable job, ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I dream about my fiance's s cousin over and over again
Q. Little bit of a backround, I met my lady 2014 we fell in love she moved in with me very quickly and within a year we were pregnant we have had the baby now live in a 2 bed with my son who is my world and is now 10 months old. I like to think we are ...
A. 29 August 2016: She tried to leave when it should have been a time for a new mother to be overjoyed about having child. Sounds like she was overwhelmed, and she had a dream for a knight in shining armor to whisk her away from her responsibility. It would indeed be ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I dream about my fiance's s cousin over and over again
Q. Little bit of a backround, I met my lady 2014 we fell in love she moved in with me very quickly and within a year we were pregnant we have had the baby now live in a 2 bed with my son who is my world and is now 10 months old. I like to think we are ...
A. 29 August 2016: They say that yearning is better than having. When you fell in love with your fiancé I am sure you fantasized a future with her too. Now you have it, you want something you can't have. What is it about life with your fiancé that is not enough, and ... (read in full...)
My husband's extended family members call him all the time for medical advice but ignore me despite my efforts to be friendly
Q. Dear Aunts, I'm 28 years old and have been married for two years. I'm an only child of my family and very close to my parents. On the other hand my husband comes from a very big, close knitted family. He has 5 siblings and they all are very close. T...
A. 28 August 2016: This might not be about you personally. I am not familiar with Sri Lankan culture but I am guessing that the older generation do not mix with the younger generation. In Canada, there's equality in sexes, age, class. Everyone is treated politely. You ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has time for his family and friends, but not for me and our daughter. How do I stop feeling like a single parent in this relationship?
Q. Hiya everyone I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. He is 29 I am 30 the problem is he never spends any time with me. We live together and have a 1 yr old daughter but everytime we plan [something] he can never be bothered going or his ...
A. 28 August 2016: I can understand it if he's the kind who feels that women belong in the house. Their job is to hold the fort down, keep the house clean and the children happy. They don't see wives as equals. They provide financial resources in return for a clean ... (read in full...)
Have my actions cost me my lovelife? How can I start to repair our relationship?
Q. My ex and I have been apart for over a month. I've tried the non contact rule and now that the 30 days has passed I've been contacting him about twice a week. (He answers when I call if he's unable he will call back.) Well he talks to me nice but ...
A. 27 August 2016: It sounded like you never wanted a break up and his reasons for a break up did not make sense. Whenever that happens, it means the relationship had run its course. No contact only works when people treat it as a period to cool down and reflect, or ... (read in full...)
Should I be trusting my Girlfriend? Any guidance on what to do?
Q. I'm coming up to my third anniversary with my girlfriend but recently I feel uncertain as to whether I truly trust her and I don't particularly know how to approach the subject. I hadn't really questioned my trust in her until a recent excha...
A. 27 August 2016: Everyone has their level of curiosity and mistrust. Digging information from your friends went beyond breaching your privacy. Not knowing social grace is one thing. To know that she got too nosy for her own good but yet can't control her impulse is ... (read in full...)
Intimacy question, boyfriend doesn't want to be intimate with me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months who is 33. He is the one who asked me to be his girlfriend. Things are great , he is sweet and nice. However, whenever it comes to intimacy. He wants me to stay over at his place and we just cuddle. He a...
A. 24 August 2016: There could be many reasons and probably none of them are what you think. Is he religious and believes in sex only after marriage? Does he have a health condition that interferes with his ability to maintain erection? Is he insecure about his ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable wanting to take things slow after our breakup?
Q. Hello to everyone... So I'm looking for some advice... My girlfriend and I had been together for six....almost 7 years. Anyway... We broke up and things got a bit messy. There were a lot of horrible things said.... She was hurting... I wa...
A. 23 August 2016: I am not so sure she didn't cheat on you. You've been together for a long time so if she fell pregnant, then what you do is prepare for a family and if she doesn't want a pregnancy, then abortion. Breaking up and going out with other guys was an odd ... (read in full...)
Does my mother hate me because I was love child?
Q. Hello. I am angry because my mother spat on me when I was young. She used to hit me a lot and throw objects sometimes. In my early 20's I was happy I didn't think about how bad my mom used to treat me. I was content and believed that we were happy. ...
A. 23 August 2016: I don't believe there's such a thing as a child abusing gene. Her life didn't turn out the way it wanted and she has been lashing out at you most of the time. Children are children, and they should all be treated equally no matter who their fathers ... (read in full...)
Is he moving things along too fast? Is it normal to try to turn a hook-up into a relationship in this way?
Q. I hooked up with this guy one night (no intercourse) and figured I'd never see him again. Through mutual friends, he got ahold of my number and asked me out. I said sure. In the past week, we have seen each other 3 times, although he's ask...
A. 22 August 2016: For me, I don't have a problem with fast pace if I feel in my gut that he could be the right person. What I have a slight problem with is that he thinks it's a relationship because he says so. Maybe it's too much optimism, or something like a smart ... (read in full...)
I'm only turned on by blowjobs!
Q. Hi there. I'm a heterosexual man, but I've been stuck with this since I started to feel sexual needs. What I have is pretty weird: I'm attracted to girls, but the only sexual activity I'm interested in are blowjobs. I don't like women vaginas, I...
A. 20 August 2016: Although rare, I am sure you are not the only one. There are women who are not into vaginal sex because of fear of pregnancy or whatever hangup they have. There's actually a girl here asking whether she could find someone she could blow because she ... (read in full...)
FWB where I developed feelings for her. She seemed to wantt more too. Now she denies ever feeling that?
Q. So I'm looking for some feedback. I'm a 32 year old male. I've got a fwb that has been going on for quite some time now. Thing is, I think I'd somewhat developed feelings for her. The reason I'd developed some feelings is because of all of the ...
A. 20 August 2016: Because sex with absolutely nothing feels cheap, slutty, and mechanical. I guess what a lot of young people want is the gf/bf experience without the negatives that come into it: insecurity, jealousy, feeling of being trapped, fear of break up. Flash ... (read in full...)
FWB where I developed feelings for her. She seemed to wantt more too. Now she denies ever feeling that?
Q. So I'm looking for some feedback. I'm a 32 year old male. I've got a fwb that has been going on for quite some time now. Thing is, I think I'd somewhat developed feelings for her. The reason I'd developed some feelings is because of all of the ...
A. 19 August 2016: I guess it's the same for lots of women who ask us why their fwb guys would act cuddly and sweet, but not want a relationship. I guess kissing, hanging out and having fun do not necessarily count as romantic, at least for women. Women need to have a ... (read in full...)
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