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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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He's coming on too strong, talks about sex a lot, has a child with an ex. Should I ignore these red flags?
Q. So about 6 months ago I met this attractive guy.. we met in a cute way as I got him lost accidentally by trying to help with directions, and he later gave me his number and name, which I hadn't asked for. I added him on Facebook and he messaged me, ...
A. 25 January 2019: My first thought was with the others then when I saw Youwish's post I agree with her too. The thing he did wrong was to mention sex when there was no talk about relationship status. He went ahead of himself, knowing that you won't give in until you ... (read in full...)
She forces me to be completely silent when she talks to her parents!
Q. I am 42 years old and my girlfriend (soon to be wife) is 32 years old. I love her, and she loves me too. Our respective family members know of our relationship, and that, we are going to get married soon. We’ve their blessings. Also, we are both ...
A. 24 January 2019: I don't look at her as a teenager seeking approval. I look at her as a diplomatic person trying to keep peace with two families. She is already going against tradition by agreeing to living with you. By making you silent, she is not trying to make ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won’t call after we have an argument!
Q. We Dear Cupid: I have been in a relationship for two years. I am 42 and he is 50. He does not like to text nor be on the phone and we do not have hardly any communication during the day and we see mostly during the weekend as he only comes to my ho...
A. 24 January 2019: I think the fact that he doesn't want to talk means he does not want to live with you, or anyone else, after experiences with his exes not working out. There is no discussion about this. Two years ago, did you have an agreement that long term is ... (read in full...)
I need my boyfriend to want me!
Q. i recently met this guy and i feel good about things. He is well hot and seems v nice. The trouble is he is a bit backwards at coming forward. My last B/f was like a mad stud in and out the bedroomanad we would just do stuff were and when ever. Th...
A. 22 January 2019: With each relationship you have to hit reset and refresh your mindset. If you tell him about your ex and your expectations, that's going to give him pressure and push him away. It will be a catch up game for him and he would never live up to the ... (read in full...)
Should I let her go unless she takes the initiative?
Q. I have been in a relationship for many years. We do not live together because we both agreed we would wait until each of our children are grown before we combine our households. There have been "ups and downs" over the years, but never anything ...
A. 22 January 2019: She may be starting premenopause and her emotions are all over the place. You have to reassure yourself she is not feeling comfortable with her life now, and this is not about you. When you sense an argument coming, ask her first, why is she angry, ... (read in full...)
Ended relationship, but already having doubts
Q. Last week I ended my relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years. I hadn’t felt the same about her for some time, and for the last few months didn’t try to conceal the fact. I felt that I was clinging more to the situation we found ourselves in rat...
A. 21 January 2019: You have to decide if you are depressed because you are single, or because you are in a bad relationship. I believe you get in relationships because you think you need the female energy to balance yourself and to feel good. If you can harness that ... (read in full...)
Can we get married in a church if neither of us are religious?
Q. My fiancee and I would like to get married in a church, however neither of us are religious. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this? Neither of our families are religious either. We have come across many churches locally and while ...
A. 18 January 2019: I am sure the only church that lets outsiders rent their space is the universalist church. It won't have the grand look of a cathedral, but you will be able to exchange vows in a spiritual way without having to believe in the bible. For catholic ... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into our friend with benefits relationship?
Q. Hello, I am trying to figure this person out and hoping to get some advice. I am in a Friends with benefits relationship . I am with man who I am getting the most weirdest signals, we started dating in July and usually back than it was just the ...
A. 16 January 2019: A lot of times, men ask to be in FWBs giving the impression that they can pick and choose who's date material, and who's casual material. In fact they don't have the confidence or means to sustain a real relationship. Like money, maturity or ... (read in full...)
How to impress a woman on a Speed Dating event
Q. This question is mainly for men but the ladies can chime in as well. If you meet a woman for the first time and have only 5 minutes to talk what will you ask or say to her that would leave an impression on her? I am asking this because I go ...
A. 13 January 2019: I would start with the mindset that you what you do in this life and your hobbies is what makes you interesting. You have to believe that you are impressive. So whatever comes out of your mouth is natural and comfortable. You would want to initiate ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the bigger person every time we argue
Q. Dear cupid, I've been wirth my boyfriend for about 2 yrs now, we live together and are very committed to each other and growing our life together. 2 nights ago we were watching a movie and there were preganant women and kids it. I'm in my early 30s ...
A. 11 January 2019: If you were ten years younger, then I could defend his response but at his age he's still not ready to be a father? He could have his own personal reasons but I have to wonder if he wanted kids at all. He certainly shouldn't be wasting time because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won’t stop lying to me
Q. Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 months. He just turned 19 and he goes to college 5 hours away. This isn’t a problem we started dating Way before he started college and he didn’t plan on picking a school that far away but we make it ...
A. 9 January 2019: You shouldn't have to lie to your family and friends about your boyfriend. If they really care about you they will feel bad and suggest you to dump your liar boyfriend. If it's about money, there are lots of gifts that require little money. You ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tries to have anal sex without my permission. Does he not respect me?
Q. I am 64 female,boyfriend is 60,seeing each other for 6 weeks now and have had amazing sex,he is much more sexually experienced and into porn very much. He tried to enter me analy without asking me and I jumped back because it really hurt,told him ...
A. 9 January 2019: So he basically raped you. Being a boyfriend doesn't mean you don't need to ask for consent, especially anal sex since it hurts. He does not respect women and has no empathy. His relationship is only centered around sex. He could care less about how ... (read in full...)
Should I cut off my mom from my life without giving her an explanation?
Q. Guys... this new year I’m going to cut off my mom from my life. I have written a question regarding our relationship before and things have been going downhill from there. She has been mean to me and my family all year long. I have a sister w...
A. 30 December 2018: I think you should cut your mom off. It takes a lot of courage to do it but years of demeaning should fuel your motivation to change your life for the better. Meaning cut out negative influences that stop you from healing from depression. She ... (read in full...)
Is his reaction to these comments a red flag?
Q. Hey guys! Hope everyone is well :) I recently entered into a new relationship. We've been "dating" for the last 2 months, and official for the last month. We have also already entered the "I Love You" phase. Everything moved very quickly, bu...
A. 30 December 2018: It would bother me more if my date didn't react. It is a sign that your date is concerned about your feelings. His male protective instinct came in, and it's especially needed in the type of place you work. I think you have to honestly ask him if he ... (read in full...)
Does he like me more than a FWB?
Q. 2 Months ago, a man and I arranged to "Hook up" after matching on Tinder, things went well. Afterwards, I carried on as usual, assuming It was just a "One night stand". 2 weeks after our "Hook up" He had asked me to become his Friends With ...
A. 30 December 2018: He was asking for friends with benefits. His criteria for FWBs is that he gets to have romantic times with you and can show you off on social media. Partners in FWBs do not have to be invisible, but they lack the promise for the future, the trust ... (read in full...)
How do I stop crushing on jerks?
Q. I always crush on a guy who is kind of a jerk, but the type of guy parents love because he totally sucks up to them and looks really good on paper — smart, ambitious, handsome — but deep down, he is not the nicest person. He usually has a ...
A. 30 December 2018: Women crush on jerks because masculine guys show jerk traits. Domineering, adventurous and powerful. There are many types of guys. You just have to wait till you meet one who has the good qualities you want but at the same time not too nice to be a ... (read in full...)
Accused of being antisocial for turning down a guy?
Q. My dad loves to accuse me of being anti social and saying "that's why you have no friends". We were at a friends place and there is a single guy there who I see a couple times a year. We aren't friends (acquaintances) and we do not share interests. ...
A. 30 December 2018: I had felt not accepted by my family for my whole life, so I can relate to you totally. Your parents are actually thinking for your own good. They rigid thinking patterns such as social people are successful and happy. Quiet, introverted people as ... (read in full...)
Has anybody else ever missed out on time and then got past it and been able to get on afterwards without too much regret?.
Q. Confidence has never been my forte in life and it is holds me back in so many things. In my early 20's I had even lower levels of confidence and has stuck with me since. I am now 30 and have missed out so many opertunitys in life.. ASKIN women out, ...
A. 18 December 2018: You made it sound like you are going to push through your fears and start dating or look for new job prospects only if enough people told you that yes you will regret in the future. Or else, you would just get comfortable with the status quo. I need ... (read in full...)
I sent the online guy my nude photos and initiated phone sex. Will he lose respect for me?
Q. I have been talking to a guy I met on the internet for about 3 months. We have always had great conversation, we like each other alot. We skype, phone call, text, IM, etc every day. Last week, I made the decision to finally start talking about sex. ...
A. 16 December 2018: I think it's too early to send nude photos because you haven't met. You don't even know if you like him for his mannerisms, or if there's physical chemistry, things that you can't see in photos. Not to get so grim here since there are scammers, ... (read in full...)
I've grown to care for a sex worker that I see and feel I want to be more than her friend
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been seeing a prostitute for some time now. When I started seeing her, I was in a very bad place emotionally (borderline depression, work pressure, family issues). We didn't have sex on the first few "dates". We mainly talked an...
A. 12 December 2018: There are 3 outcomes. She became your girlfriend. She is just your friend but still have to pay for sex. She doesn't want any business with you anymore. I don't know why you would limit yourself to just 3 lousy options. You said she could do a lot ... (read in full...)
No sex in almost a year, he's watching porn but says nothing is wrong with our relationship
Q. Hi I’m 32 and in a relationship for 5 years the first 4 years were good then our sex life became non existent I asked my partner what was going on if he was depressed or stressed about anything he said no then one day I heard him watching porn while ...
A. 12 December 2018: Healthy males should be able to have sex with their wives at least once a week up until their 60's. That's males who don't watch porn. Porn programmed your boyfriend's brain to seek variety, which means if he watched the same porn actress, same ... (read in full...)
I'm planning on getting married but afraid of divorce
Q. I am engaged and planning the wedding next year. But off late I have been having recurring fears about divorce. I am worried about my husband (to be) falling out of love with me when we grow older. Not because i will stop loving himbut because I am ...
A. 12 December 2018: Unless you are obese and unhealthy, women remain attractive for a long, long time. You may gain 10 pounds or more, some stretch marks but you also gain wisdom and understanding. These will be the qualities that hold your marriage together. Maybe you ... (read in full...)
My younger boyfriend just asked me to marry him
Q. I'm 31 years old woman divorced with 2 kids one of whom have a a disability. I've stayed away from relationships all together because my life is not easy and I have my priorities. Lately, a younger man started to show interest in me, he is 5 ...
A. 10 December 2018: A cancer survivor or anyone who experienced trauma sees life differently. They are able to cherish every day and give the most to people they love. Reason why he's not considering younger women is because he might see them as immature, fragile or he ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship even worth working towards if she is so secretive about her past?
Q. In July I met a girl at work, she had just moved to my very small hometown a few weeks before we met. She is 23 and has a 1 year daughter. We quickly became friends and I started crushing on her at the same time. She very quite but lots of fun once ...
A. 5 December 2018: Did she ask for a relationship or are you just thinking ahead of yourself? If she is secretive because of fear of judgment, I can understand. Some adopted children feel less than children with intact, biological parents. Maybe she is adopted but her ... (read in full...)
Am I being too harsh on my 17 year old daughter? How do I deal with her?
Q. I am having trouble with my 17 year old daughter. We've recently returned from a trip to Europe and are jet lagging. It being the weekend, I texted her at 11am to see what she wanted for lunch. She replied that she was still sleeping. At 2pm she ...
A. 5 December 2018: I don't know how she talks to you normally, like in a whiny tone or neutral. In a text that's even harder to tell if she's giving you a demand or just stating a wish. If she has a habit of asking you for stuff and complains that you need time, then ... (read in full...)
I love him and want to stay with him, so why can't I let go of these fears that my marriage wont last?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He's 23, I'm 25. I'm the first girlfriend he's ever had, he's my fourth relationship. Everything with us is pretty much perfect. I've never had a relationship this comfortable before. It seems like ...
A. 4 December 2018: Your mother had been on both sides of this. Her first marriage didn't last long but her second one was "till death do us part." She was neither foolish for her failed first marriage nor was she a chump for believing in a second marriage. If she ... (read in full...)
I work as a cam girl but don't want my boyfriend watching other cam girls
Q. I work as a cam girl on a website. This is actually my second job to make extra cash. My boyfriend was aware of this before we started dating. Few days back he thought that since I was working as a cam girl it made it ok for him to join one of t...
A. 2 December 2018: You have to consider what's more important, money or boyfriend. He also should not go into a relationship if he's not okay with his girlfriend being watched and drooled over on the internet. He probably went into this relationship with the thought ... (read in full...)
Our sex is becoming just sexual gratification for his sordid fantasies!
Q. I need help. I'm concerned about my boyfriends sexual orientation/preference. We have been dating for 4 years now, as the 4 years have progressed his sexual habits have changed. He isn't tame , it's always got to be depraved , he's always got to ha...
A. 1 December 2018: I've had the exact same experience. My ex was into porn, but he was also sexually abused as a child. He also had a brain tumor (don't know if it was related to the abuse) and had a memory black out. I remember he had told me his obsession with ... (read in full...)
How could he treat me so badly and now act like nothing bad ever happened between us?
Q. Hi 6 years ago I met the man of my dreams I was madly in love with him and things were going well after a year of been together I fell pregnant and miscarried the baby the next day my boyfriend kicked me out of his flat no explanation as to why he ...
A. 1 December 2018: It's possible he is narcissistic and can't feel any empathy. He could also be trying to get narcissistic supply by wanting to know your whereabouts. If you are still upset about him then it means he has power over his emotions. It is a sick way to ... (read in full...)
How to deal with a needy friend who’s staying over the Christmas?
Q. (sorry I've just realized how long this post is) She’s a friend I’ve known all of my life. Our fathers were best friends. She has always been extremely needy and I’ve dealt with it and not always in a good way (meaning that I would often say ...
A. 29 November 2018: I bet she talks to herself at home. She has a mental illness, and will not understand what boundaries mean. Since your parents hosted this celebration, they are okay with your friend staying, probably out of compassion and years of relation. Also ... (read in full...)
Parents moving- what should I do with my pet?
Q. Need some help please on a family related issue please.. My parents have been alcoholics since I was little and I had a hard upbringing. The only thing that really helped me growing up at home was having my pet dog alongside me (he's mine since...
A. 29 November 2018: You mentioned the three options, which are all difficult. Your dog has lived a good life, received a lot of love from you and I am sure whatever your decision is, he will be forever grateful. My first choice would be euthanasia. The vets are very ... (read in full...)
Trying to force me to have an abortion but still seeming to care.
Q. I have been in an on - off relationship for 2.5 years, mostly on, and very passionate. The man in question is an MD of a large company, but had just finished with his wife of 20 years when we started our relationship. He told me that they had been ...
A. 29 November 2018: I think he wants children someday, but the timing is just bad, because he probably didn't separate from his wife. There was a sense of urgency for that abortion too. Financially you know he could support his child, there has to be some secret he's ... (read in full...)
I'm confused! Is she interested or playing hard to get?
Q. Hey Guys, So I met a girl a few weeks ago. We had a great night really flirty and she actually would have come home with me if one of her guy her friends hadn't literally dragged her away. We sent a few messages in the following week a...
A. 20 November 2018: I would rather have someone who texts a lot to plan dates rather than have lots of texting but no dates. I think she is afraid to fall hard too fast and scare you off. It's not necessarily playing games. It's nice to build things slowly because if ... (read in full...)
I really like her and I'm wondering when and how to tell her... But I don't know if she likes me too
Q. There's this girl I work with and I really like her. We've hung out a few times with other friends, but I don't know if she likes me the same way cause she'll tell me that we're just friends but her body language says different. We play around w...
A. 20 November 2018: You don't pour out your heart to anyone you don't know well. You are young and full of hormones, it is easy to feel strongly towards the opposite sex but it is all in your imagination. You keep it casual by mentioning something you would like to do ... (read in full...)
I'm confused as to why she unfriended me. Did I do something wrong?
Q. Met a girl in class and I liked her (as a friend). Someone I thought I could get a long with as I enjoyed talking to her. She came across as strong, loud and opinionated but not over the top, I liked this. She has a bf and I have a gf so I figured ...
A. 20 November 2018: So people are fine with the concept of men and women being friends. Most aren't. She interpreted your offer as a date. Maybe it would have been acceptable if all four of you did a double date. It's possible that his boyfriend saw the facebook posts ... (read in full...)
I think he's going through a midlife crisis he went to Thailand and met a girl and he doesn't know that I know
Q. I have been dating a man for over a year who has just recently gone through a divorce. (Nothing to do with me). I felt he used me as a punching bag as he was very angry about the divorce although I knew he loved me. He stopped speaking to me f...
A. 19 November 2018: People don't to travel to Thailand to have a rebound relationship. Mid life crisis yeah, but you don't spend thousands of dollars to get some "space." He could have been having sexual problems because he was emotionally shut off after the divorce. ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable asking him not to meet up with an old flame?
Q. Hello Cupids I have been with my partner for six years and living together for three. Yesterday he told me that he has been meeting up with a woman he sort of used to see and I'm not sure how to take it. We all met in university, and the pair ...
A. 16 November 2018: Some boyfriends treat their girlfriends like princesses and would do whatever the girlfriends asked. Some boyfriends treat women equally and would not like being told what to do. Your boyfriend didn't tell you about meeting up with her to avoid ... (read in full...)
He insists he has changed, can it be true? Or is this all a front to win me back?
Q. I recently posted a question a few weeks ago about my situtation of after a long break apart, my ex boyfriend is claiming and insisting he is a changed man. We have met up occasionally as "dates" which often led to dicussing our relationship and set ...
A. 16 November 2018: His changes are topical and probably not long lasting. Real change comes when you reconcile with sad things that happen in the past and can feel at peace with your life today. You don't want an effort at acting. Change has to come from within so ... (read in full...)
She lied, is this a red flag or is it too early in the relationship for me too care.
Q. I went on a date with a girl, it was great and we've been chatting a lot since. She asked to meet me again in a few days. The first date was friday. The second date will be the following tuesday. However, i have found out she has lied to me about...
A. 14 November 2018: How do you know she travelled a few hours to see a guy? Weekend has two days. So maybe on Saturday she travelled, on Sunday she rested. She omitted the fact that she saw another guy. I would assume it's a date because if it's a friend, it's no big ... (read in full...)
My LDR knows all about me while I know very little about him.
Q. Hi! In need of some opinions on my long distance relationship. I'll give you the backstory: We've been together for almost a year now, meeting on a dating app but didn't date right away. At the time we were matched, I learned that he was just in the ...
A. 14 November 2018: A hurtful subject is something traumatic that happened in the fast which has no bearing on today, so why not just bury it in the grave. Having a son is not a traumatic event. It is something to be proud of. It should be in daily conversation such as ... (read in full...)
Do I go with the flow on this one? Or try and dial it back to friends only and if so how?
Q. I got back in touch with an old male friend around 9 months ago. We were close friends years ago and I was a good friend of his girlfriend. I've been in a relationship with someone else and whilst it started out as friends only, around 3 months in ...
A. 13 November 2018: It can get confusing as because I look at FWBs as emotionless relations. Sees like men don't want to date anymore, but they feel like they have to play some emotions in, to lure women into FWB situations. People who talk friends into sex are lazy ... (read in full...)
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