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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Do the Aunts think this seems okay at face value?
Q. Okay, so this has been a big/hectic day. I've been in this relationship 5+ years. It's always been a life partner type scenario. Well today, we got into a fight, words were said, and she threw the "I want to break-up" card. We've had a really rou...
A. 18 March 2018: I am confused because she was okay with it then she got so angry that she talked about break up. I more inclined to say she's not okay but kept a straight face to cover her sadness. It is very normal about being angry over the open relationship ... (read in full...)
Do the Aunts think this seems okay at face value?
Q. Okay, so this has been a big/hectic day. I've been in this relationship 5+ years. It's always been a life partner type scenario. Well today, we got into a fight, words were said, and she threw the "I want to break-up" card. We've had a really rou...
A. 17 March 2018: I don't know who suggested open relationship but I guess it hasn't happened yet with other people. Part of the stress is the preconceived notion that the lack of sex causes tension and arguments, so the quick solution is sex with other people since ... (read in full...)
I wonder if my boyfriend is losing interest in me.
Q. Hey guys! Need some real advice on this matter. I started dating a guy about 7 weeks ago. I met him last year at random and we would just check in from time to time. One day he asked me out for ice cream and the rest is history.. Anyway, I no...
A. 16 March 2018: I don't think he is losing interest. I just think he's slow to heat up and he falls in love in his own time and professes love in his own way. Some people, especially guys, don't revolve their life around relationships and that is okay. I would ... (read in full...)
Why did he leave his pet with me if he doesn't intend to have anything long-term?
Q. I've been dating a guy for a couple of months. We got on really well, and slept with each other after the fourth date. Since then, we meet up around once a week, either go out for dinner or to each other's houses and watch a film, stay over etc. ...
A. 15 March 2018: I find it weird that he didn't ask his family members to keep the pet. You don't really know him that well if all you have is questions at this point. To even consider a relationship would be shaky ground when there is long distance in the future. ... (read in full...)
I can't tell if he's just testing the waters and measuring my boundaries sexually.
Q. I feel like I'm going to get teased for this question or stereotyped as insecure. I used to struggle with insecurities when I was younger but I've grown out of most of them as my figure developed and I became who I wanted to become. For some reason ...
A. 15 March 2018: Don't just look at it from the jealousy angle. If you are with someone who pushes you to do activities you don't enjoy, it becomes a bore, a dread. I don't know any guy in the right mind who would do this to their girlfriends, except for the sex ... (read in full...)
What can I say to my MIL to make her realize that I have had enough of her treatment
Q. Hello everyone.. i came here to get some advice on my current situation dealing with my in laws as we live together. They are kind hearted people but i always feel suffocated near them especially the mother in law. Some detail that i can descr...
A. 27 January 2018: When I say don't be manipulated I meant don't let her get to you emotionally. Stay cool and detached. Misery needs company. Don't let her drag you down to her level because she's quite dysfunctional in western standards. Don't you have housemaids? ... (read in full...)
What can I say to my MIL to make her realize that I have had enough of her treatment
Q. Hello everyone.. i came here to get some advice on my current situation dealing with my in laws as we live together. They are kind hearted people but i always feel suffocated near them especially the mother in law. Some detail that i can descr...
A. 27 January 2018: Tell her if she's more cheerful and appreciative, then you will stay at her place more often.... (read in full...)
What can I say to my MIL to make her realize that I have had enough of her treatment
Q. Hello everyone.. i came here to get some advice on my current situation dealing with my in laws as we live together. They are kind hearted people but i always feel suffocated near them especially the mother in law. Some detail that i can descr...
A. 26 January 2018: She didn't really mistreat you. She can be unpleasant due to her upbringing that had taught her to suck it up to people superior to her then act like a boss to people under her. You can't be manipulated if you don't allow it. Go visit your parents ... (read in full...)
My gf wants to learn salsa dance and I hate it. How to say no
Q. Hi. I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 2 years now. I'm planning to propose soon but there's is something thas is making me reevaluate my relationship. I took her once to a latin club where salsa music is played and she absolute...
A. 9 January 2018: Can you take her to a 90's club instead? She found herself in those dances and felt alive, and she doesn't want you to take that away. There has got to be something else that makes her happy. She needs to be more understanding that she can't make ... (read in full...)
Does he want to be friends because of his financial situation? Or he wants to date others?
Q. Hi This is a question for the guys. My boyfriend was released from prison about a year ago, and he is struggling to get on his feet. I don't have the amount of money that he really needs to be established again, so I just help out when I can. I ...
A. 3 January 2018: It could be both. He's not ready for a relationship unless he can be on his feet again. He might want to date others because you had seen him at his worst. He might feel better to start anew when others don't know about his situation or he might ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my co-worker out? Or is she a gold digger?
Q. Hello, The thing is I'm getting mixed signals from a female coworker. She said once that she doesn't like quiet guys (like me), or fat guys (also like me), but recently she seems much more eager to talk to me about random stuff (but she does spe...
A. 3 January 2018: You shouldn't ask her out because you don't like her that much. You are quiet and she's too talkative for her own good. Your personalities would clash even if she's not a gold digger. Sounds like the only reason you want to ask her out is because ... (read in full...)
My question is should I follow my heart and keep seeing her because I feel great in her company or should I cut my losses now?
Q. So I've been living in Spain for a few months and I met a local girl and we really hit it off the first night. I tried to meet up with her again but she said she just wanted to be friends because she liked a German guy she met a few weeks ago but he ...
A. 3 January 2018: People have different dating styles. Some compartmentalize others in the lover, friend, and husband box. Some feel that whoever makes a good friend would make a good husband too, but not all think so. The art and etiquette of dating is to have a ... (read in full...)
Cannot accept my background and heritage
Q. I can’t identify with my European parents and nationality. I have been living in the States for the last three decades but along my life I have encountered people from my nationality. I don’t mean to sound judgemental here but everyone from where I ...
A. 27 December 2017: I don't know why, I am also guessing Eastern Europe. I would say, embrace the best parts of your culture and not identify with the bad ones. I live in Canada. It is a mosaic of all kinds of cultures. The ones I can't stand are those who try too hard ... (read in full...)
I am devastated to think maybe our marriage doesn't have a future
Q. Hi everyone, not been on here for absolutely ages and had a rough few years. So my question is the following! Sorry it’s a bit drawn out. Ok so I met my husband 22 years ago at work, he was married to the daughters boss, but not happily. Anyway I...
A. 4 December 2017: You have more control in the direction of this marriage than you think. Sounds like you lost respect for him as a man. You have a stronger soul and drive for him being that you suffer two major life tragedies but you still have it going on while he ... (read in full...)
He doesn't turn me on but I don't want to hurt him by dumping him harshly!
Q. One of my closest male friend asked me out 3 years back. He swept me off my feet with his romantic gestures and when he asked me to be his girlfriend i said yes to him.Some 6 months into the relationship I realised that I am do not have any passion ...
A. 4 December 2017: He had incredible patience, bordering on denial to have waited 7 years. Your friendship with him will be miserable on both parts. On his part, it is built on false hope, and you are standing on this pedestal because he fantasizes how marriage life ... (read in full...)
My pretty friend gets constant attention. How do I cope?
Q. This is long but I feel that details and some background info are important to get an understanding for some answers. This is not your typical, my friend is evidently prettier than me story. I have a friend who is very pretty. She's not a supe...
A. 3 December 2017: Besides beauty, the other things that draw attention is the unseen. Health, fertility and a sense of well being. I am not a medical professional so I can't tell you how to make your thyroid issues go away. If you watch Miss Universe year after year, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother isn't accepting of my children and myself
Q. i met my boyfriend 6yrs ago I have 2 children from previous relationship and left their father due to domestic violence. We are happy and since meeting my boyfriend we have so much in common and my children love him like a dad. We met his mum and ...
A. 3 December 2017: You have to decide if your boyfriend is worth sacrificing your children to have a chance of an extended family. For me, I would cut off contact with the in laws. As good as your boyfriend could be, there's nothing he could do to open their hearts to ... (read in full...)
I'm being taken for granted and wonder if I should marry him!
Q. I have been with my bf for 9 years now and we both dicided to get married, and we had registered. Just lately I have been very uncomfortable with my fiancee, i dont fee like i am being loved, i am only his comfort. It has been probably my faul...
A. 18 October 2017: When you see married men who side with their family, there are two kinds. One is the patriarchal, old fashioned type who sees women are possession with no power or say. The other is the man child who is still under the family's purse string and is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I argued again, this time over laundry
Q. I suppose this might be my fault but my boyfriend and I haven't spoken in the last 24 hours because of...laundry. Enter scene: I'm a 25 year old working two jobs currently (soon to quit one to go back to school). He is a 29 year old working on h...
A. 18 October 2017: This was not really an argument. He started something so that he could get some space, to ponder about the future. At 29 with no job and tons of debt, reality hits him that he has no idea how to pay it off, let alone supporting you. His being ... (read in full...)
I think he likes another girl but I don't know how to broach the topic
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months but it's not exactly official, his family don't know and only a couple of our close friends know, it's like a need to know basis. Recently he went on holiday back to his home town with a mutu...
A. 17 October 2017: It's not hard to broach the topic as it is to lose him right now. It's as basic as saying you hear what your mutual friend said. Maybe that other girl is the reason why you are not official. Don't be afraid to bring this up because you are still ... (read in full...)
My ex hasn't told me his wife is filing for divorce
Q. I've been seeing ex for some time. Yes, I know it's wrong it's a long story. anyway, his now wife is filing for divorce but he hasn't told me. heard from mutual friend. why would he not mention this?...
A. 17 October 2017: I would say he's trying to cover up the reason for his divorce, and it has to do with his own wrongdoing besides his cheating. He doesn't want you to know that he's only seeing you because his wife doesn't want him anymore. It would make your ... (read in full...)
What if she's not willing to compromise?
Q. I've been dating a girl for 2 months now and we are official, she's 34, and I'm 36. She has 2 young children that I've not met yet- I will be soon. Things seem really good but I have abit of a concern, please could you guys give your advice and your ...
A. 12 October 2017: People can be strong headed in a good way. You are still getting to know her. From a general conversation about dogs, there is no suggestion that you are even going to get dogs. She's just saying that if she were to get one, it would be like a ... (read in full...)
My wife's sexual past has become a sticking point for me
Q. OK this might be a bit long winded but here we go. So I have been happilyish married for nearly ten years now. I met my wife in 2003 while on my OE in London and we got together and started dating and then eventually the "how many people have you ...
A. 24 September 2017: If a woman loves a husband, to have sex even when not in the mood at first, is not a hard thing at all. Her past matters because you are trying to figure out what makes her tick, and what turns her on. However the reasoning that other men got with ... (read in full...)
He says he will never marry me because of my past!
Q. Hello, My question is...is there any hope for a future with my ex-boyfriend? We dated for six months and he always suffered from retrograde jealousy for me. During this time I foolishly, casually mentioned my exes, not fully grasping what to...
A. 24 September 2017: I would move on because you most likely can't change him. Of course there are some people who claim that they find ways to deal with retroactive jealousy but you can't bet your time on this. Time would be wisely used to just find another man who ... (read in full...)
Career or relationship? On the cusp of a big decision, I would like your advice!
Q. So life has finally slowed down a bit. Its been roughly two months since graduation and my folks think that I should move on with my life. Ive been dating my girlfriend since January last year and its been a roller coaster of emotions that I wouldn...
A. 16 August 2017: If she is really the one for you, she won't let you go if you stay in your state. Instead she would continue to support you and figure out a way to move closer to you, or wait until you have different plans in the future. I don't recommend moving in ... (read in full...)
One minute he says he's not going anywhere, the next he is avoiding discussing feelings!
Q. I'm not sure what to think about this situation anymore. I have a male friend who told me that he'd like to be romantically involved with me, however we agreed to wait until my divorce is finalized. We have been close friends otherwise. He told me ...
A. 15 August 2017: He's being appropriate because he's not supposed to show any feelings towards you until your divorce is final. You are not going to get a clearer answer than "I am not going anywhere," which does not need to be repeated. He's ignoring your attempts ... (read in full...)
I've developed feelings for her, should I tell her? She's 20 years younger than I am.
Q. This is a bit of a strange situation, but bear with me. I am a big Meat Loaf fan, and together with other FB Mad about Meat Loaf group members, we set up a fund to get one of the members, who has ME, down to London from Hull to see the Bat Out of H...
A. 15 August 2017: Not necessarily. Don't just ask out of the blue. Talk about something like a movie or a song than ease the conversation into it.... (read in full...)
I've developed feelings for her, should I tell her? She's 20 years younger than I am.
Q. This is a bit of a strange situation, but bear with me. I am a big Meat Loaf fan, and together with other FB Mad about Meat Loaf group members, we set up a fund to get one of the members, who has ME, down to London from Hull to see the Bat Out of H...
A. 15 August 2017: On Thursday you saw her or did you see her friend as well?
How about "are you seeing anyone or do you like anyone in school?"... (read in full...)
I've developed feelings for her, should I tell her? She's 20 years younger than I am.
Q. This is a bit of a strange situation, but bear with me. I am a big Meat Loaf fan, and together with other FB Mad about Meat Loaf group members, we set up a fund to get one of the members, who has ME, down to London from Hull to see the Bat Out of H...
A. 15 August 2017: First of all, if you have been conversing for 2 years, you should have an idea of whether she has feelings for you too, whether she is single, and things like where her head is, what her goals are in life, etc. Feelings have to be mutual if anything ... (read in full...)
My question is does that mean I just want sex again and I'm mistakening that feeling for wanting a relationship
Q. Hi I'm an 18 y/o girl and I've never had a boyfriend but I'm also not a virgin. I lost my virginity to my guy friend, which wasn't planned at all, but it happened and I guess I don't regret my first time. Better off with someone I trust and respect ...
A. 15 August 2017: Your head tells you you don't want a relationship with this guy but your body, ruled by biology, tells you it's important to be loved in case you get pregnant so that there's a father figure for your baby. It's encouraged by the happy hormones ... (read in full...)
We were getting on so well .... but now he just blanks me.
Q. Is it time for me to give up? So I was seeing this man for a while, things were great and he told me he loved me and we talked about a future together. We met at work. All of a sudden he has now started blanking me, contact fizzled out apar...
A. 10 August 2017: I bet he has no idea you feel so useless and upset. He got carried away talking about the future. He thought that he gave you a brief moment of bliss and that's enough, not knowing that you would take everything he said literally. I am guessing he ... (read in full...)
My brother is about to be taken for a ride by an online Romanian stripper!
Q. My older brother is marrying a 21 year old stripper from Romania to bring her to the US. He met her on a webcam girl site. It is likely a romance/green card scam. He is really in a mid life crisis (48) and this is totally out of character for him. ...
A. 10 August 2017: Maybe that's what mid life crisis does. He probably knows that she's there for money and a green card too but he doesn't care. Because of the imbalance (age and money wise) in the relationship, he thinks he holds the power and there's a pseudo sense ... (read in full...)
He seems a lovely guy but could I be missing something?
Q. I have been communicating steadily with a man I met online now for around 6 months, but we have been also interacting on message boards now for more like 8 months. Things have progressed to us both being seriously interested in seeing if we could ...
A. 10 August 2017: What people say online can be very different from how they are in real life. I am guessing it is anxiety as well. In order to have a healthy sexual connection, you need a balance of tension and relaxation. The chemistry needs to be there but men ... (read in full...)
My husband refuses to acknowledge my children from a previous relationship
Q. Am 39 years married to my husband for six years. I had two children before marriage. On of them her dad is alive but is not interested in financially supporting her or co parenting. The other his dad passed on. I hve two more kids with my husband ...
A. 10 August 2017: It's not too much to expect a decent human being to be more caring about your children. Many parents find it too tiresome to care for two children, let alone four. I think he's a bit selfish to agree to marry you knowing that he would not be ... (read in full...)
Does she want space or not?
Q. Six months ago I re-established contact with a girl who I had a thing for when we were young. She is in a relationship but unhappy. I was coming out of a break-up and she was a pillar of support for me when I needed it most. We'd text each other ...
A. 27 July 2017: She's keeping contact in case she needs you again in the future. You are the reason why she's having problems with her boyfriend and will probably be the reason you will be having problems with your new date. When you said you could both move on ... (read in full...)
He asked me to stop tickling him but now he's the one touching me!
Q. I developed a same sex crush on my friend. It's a long story but I will try to keep it short. He is a few years younger than me and we met at a friends birthday party a few years ago. We actually did not start hanging out until last summer. At first ...
A. 14 July 2017: I think he has conflicting feelings about what he wants to do with you. He definitely likes you but maybe he doesn't want to be known to be gay in front of family and friends. He needs courage coming out and that's his decision alone. He senses that ... (read in full...)
Now it's hard to trust
Q. A little while ago I left a guy who tried to control me. After bad dating experiences I had walls up, so I was able to pick up on things that didn't feel right. The attention was flattering at 1st, but then got emotionally draining, he didn't tr...
A. 12 July 2017: It's very normal to feel like you do. Here trust has a few meanings. Despite what happened to you in the past, you still need to respect your partner. You have boundaries in a relationship, at the same time you need to give them space to breathe. ... (read in full...)
Should I take the risk for Mr Perfect?
Q. I've never met a guy who is finally.... finally the guy of my dreams acquiring everything! I could ever ask for (looks, persona, charm, demeanor, intelligence etc). At first when he came to me I would always feel like the situation is too good to be ...
A. 12 July 2017: I would propose to him. You don't need a ring or a ceremony right now but you two need to be in this for a long time. I don't believe in Perfect, just what works for now and for long term. It's not ideal to live with in laws. Normally I would say, ... (read in full...)
Is his request weird or not?
Q. So lemme know if this is weird or not. My boyfriend has been serious/joking with me about if I we had kids, that he'd want to drink my breast milk from my boobs. I shudder at the thought, and I can only imagine the issues women have with their ...
A. 9 July 2017: There is a breastfeeding fetish though not as common as the foot fetish. I think having fetishes are okay but not to the point of obsessing over them, feeling entitled to them and can't feel satisfied unless having them. His request is not weird but ... (read in full...)
Went out with a colleague but things took a downward turn. He's not interested anymore and I feel stuck blaming myself. What should I do?
Q. So me and my colleague started to like each other so we exchanged numbers. I wasn't looking for anything serious because of the age difference but I was sexually attracted to him, and it appeared mutual. We were texting and we decided to go out ...
A. 9 July 2017: People can only treat you bad when you let them. You have to isolate yourself from this situation and look at it from the outside point of view. He basically asked you a question, "have fun or not." All you had to reply is no. No need to analyze his ... (read in full...)
Nothing ever goes right in our relationship. Should I stay with him?
Q. I have been with my partner for over 2 years and it just seems nothing EVER goes right in our relationship. There is no such thing as peaceful, pleasant times for us. It has never been like that, unfortunately. When we got together, instea...
A. 6 July 2017: You asking about fate and what the crystal ball would tell you. How can we do that? Talking about metaphysical stuff, a person goes through 7 year life cycles. There are also partners who bring us luck and those who don't. I hope you can be the one ... (read in full...)
Online dating. He's not just chatting to me. Should I start chatting to others?
Q. Online dating. I've had both good and bad experiences doing this . I've been chatting with a guy for a couple of week and we are meeting in a few days for our first date . He's told me the lines how he's hoping i'm the one and what he hopes will h...
A. 6 July 2017: Whether you want to chat with others it's up to you. After one date you shouldn't know if he's the one. He could also be saying this line to other women. I had done online dating before and I was like a ninja as I don't want to be seen there. I go ... (read in full...)
Went out with a colleague but things took a downward turn. He's not interested anymore and I feel stuck blaming myself. What should I do?
Q. So me and my colleague started to like each other so we exchanged numbers. I wasn't looking for anything serious because of the age difference but I was sexually attracted to him, and it appeared mutual. We were texting and we decided to go out ...
A. 4 July 2017: He definitely has emotional baggage. If I hear someone says they are sick my response would be "what can I do to help, hope you feel better." I would be questioning if that was just an excuse but I would keep that to myself and just trust the good ... (read in full...)
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