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*anniepeg agony aunt

*anniepeg

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I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.

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Went out with a colleague but things took a downward turn. He's not interested anymore and I feel stuck blaming myself. What should I do?

Q.   So me and my colleague started to like each other so we exchanged numbers. I wasn't looking for anything serious because of the age difference but I was sexually attracted to him, and it appeared mutual. We were texting and we decided to go out ...

A.   9 July 2017: People can only treat you bad when you let them. You have to isolate yourself from this situation and look at it from the outside point of view. He basically asked you a question, "have fun or not." All you had to reply is no. No need to analyze his ... (read in full...)

Online dating. He's not just chatting to me. Should I start chatting to others?

Q.   Online dating. I've had both good and bad experiences doing this . I've been chatting with a guy for a couple of week and we are meeting in a few days for our first date . He's told me the lines how he's hoping i'm the one and what he hopes will h...

A.   6 July 2017: Whether you want to chat with others it's up to you. After one date you shouldn't know if he's the one. He could also be saying this line to other women. I had done online dating before and I was like a ninja as I don't want to be seen there. I go ... (read in full...)

I am much less experienced sexually and it bothers me.

Q.   I am a lot less experienced sexually than my girlfriend. She has had atleast 13 past sexual partners aswell as a long term boyfriend. Unfortunately her efforts to try and be open and honest about her sexual past (which I respect her for) led to me ...

A.   6 July 2017: It's easier for a woman to find sexual partners than the other way round. That said, it's easier to find experienced people than to find a virgin. Right now, it is too early to settle down with one woman. I am not saying a long term relationship ... (read in full...)

Went out with a colleague but things took a downward turn. He's not interested anymore and I feel stuck blaming myself. What should I do?

Q.   So me and my colleague started to like each other so we exchanged numbers. I wasn't looking for anything serious because of the age difference but I was sexually attracted to him, and it appeared mutual. We were texting and we decided to go out ...

A.   4 July 2017: He definitely has emotional baggage. If I hear someone says they are sick my response would be "what can I do to help, hope you feel better." I would be questioning if that was just an excuse but I would keep that to myself and just trust the good ... (read in full...)

I am involved with a married woman.

Q.   So first off let’s just get the I’m an idiot, I’m a horrible person, I’m naïve, I need to grow up, and all that out of the way. I am an idiot for this and I didn’t want to let my emotions get involved but I let my guard down and now I’m lost. Ju...

A.   4 July 2017: You need to back off on the emotional bond and the sex. So no texting, no talking until she gets a divorce. She would either do it fast if she wants to keep you or she would find some other dude to play with. She wouldn't know if this is some ... (read in full...)

I'm unhappy at home and crushing on a co worker

Q.   Hi not sure if anyone will be able to help but hoping someone can give some advice or even discuss similar experiences? So I'm 38 have a boyfriend of 7 years and 2 young children (5 and 6) life is quiet and settled never any arguments, however ...

A.   4 July 2017: Last two times I crushed on others when I was still involved in relationships, I ended them. There was no point staying if I don't love that person anymore. I think crushes can be a healthy thing to remind you what it feels to be alive, what it ... (read in full...)

Trivial Fights getting out of control

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We have had our ups and downs. When it is good it is REALLY good. The passion is high. We share a lot and are similar in many ways. But we have had our share of down-at-the mouth fights. Somehow we ...

A.   4 July 2017: Fights like these do not come out of nowhere and I would say these are not part of normal ups and downs. He's trying to break up with you or get you to break up with him. When a person really loves you, even when he's tired he would be in bliss that ... (read in full...)

Do men lose out on any pleasure by using condoms?

Q.   Hi Aunts. I've met this amazing guy and we have been chatting for a while, he is going at a slow pace with me :)he is kind, understanding and says he is very much in love with me, I feel the same. I can trust him and I think he's perfect for me ...

A.   3 July 2017: Don't be embarrassed to tell him about problems after being on the pill. Although yeast infections sound gross, a lot of people report problems like mood disorders and digestive issues which are equally troublesome. Women should not have to feel ... (read in full...)

Her comments have me wondering if she's into me or not?

Q.   I've started talking to this girl a lot over the last week and we've hung out quite a bit. We have made plans to go for dinner, she also asked if I'd like to go away to Madrid for a couple of days next week. Today when we were together for a quick ...

A.   3 July 2017: She's asking someone she doesn't know to spend a couple thousand dollars for a few days in a foreign country. Even if you live in the east coast it's a 6 or 7 hour flight. That's not into you. That's wanting a travel companion with whomever. In ... (read in full...)

Should I tell her that I have no experience with women what-so-ever?

Q.   I'm an honest guy. I like to tell the truth. I'm thinking about pursuing a specific girl in my life who seems to like me. Would it be wise to tell her that I'm "love-shy" (really really really bad with women)? I feel like it would take a huge load ...

A.   3 July 2017: You can open up to your family and friends. The girl is new to this. Your inexperience should not be the first thing she knows. I think the more you focus on the problem you impose on yourself, the more anxious energy you give off. The reason why ... (read in full...)

Hiking partner blows hot and cold! What should my next move be?

Q.   I fell for a guy 12 years old than me who was at my hiking group. Over the years we have had a rocky relationship where he would show me interest but would serial date other people. As a result I would ignore him as I was hurt and then he would get ...

A.   3 July 2017: When you act outside of your character because of one person and you don't know why, you have to be aware that some people are energy leeches or emotional vampires. They feed on fear and need of validation. Having an immature guy in a hiking group ... (read in full...)

I'm keeping him at a distance so I wont fall in love!

Q.   Does everyone really maybe not know where things will go when you start hanging out with someone you like??? I mean right now of course we like each other and he says a connection is there he just dont know what it is yet.... So yea we had good ...

A.   2 July 2017: He is of course allowed to say he doesn't where this will go but would you be okay if he dates other women while you wait till you are completely healed? Even people who take their time dating can agree to be exclusive. Is his connection with you ... (read in full...)

I am still breast feeding my school aged child

Q.   I do not see a problem with this however I wondered what the general consensus would be .... I am breastfeeding an almost 7 year old? I am quite out spoken about breastfeeding but a side from close family and friends, no one knows that we are still ...

A.   2 July 2017: http://www.iamnotthebabysitter.com/breastfeeding-and-worldwide-average-age-of-weaning-2/ This gives you an idea of how you compare to mothers of the world. If your son goes to school and is not homeschooled by you, he would the most get three feed... (read in full...)

He's a slob but I'm afaid to let go

Q.   I don't know what to do any more. My relationship seems like it's going nowhere quickly. I use to be really happy with my boyfriend, but now he constantly blames me for everything. He's never happy with anything. The other night I called him o...

A.   26 June 2017: Don't be afraid. Even if you are not ready to let go now, one day you would. You don't have to wait until that day or until there is a bigger drama stirred up among the 3 of you. Your son can't speak for himself but if he's older he would have said ... (read in full...)

How can I break this impass on marital strife?

Q.   I've been with my wife for 12 years. We've been going through a bit of a tough patch lately, but I don't think it's something that we can't work our way through. Now, please don't think that I am claiming to be perfect - I have problems that I need ...

A.   26 June 2017: You don't have to change your ways because friends and wives can play a different role. There are things that we feel comfortable talking to our friends with. There are intimate secrets that we only share with our spouses. Your wife is controlling ... (read in full...)

It's been five days and I haven't heard from him.. How can this be resolved?

Q.   I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a few months. The relationship has been really rocky lately but we continued to try and work through it. A couple of weeks ago we broke up because we have been arguing too much and he didn't seem to w...

A.   13 June 2017: Before you want to resolve this, you have to be honest and figure out if you are okay with the possibility that you would never have children with him in case he does not make enough money in the future. He is not sure if you can be happy enough ... (read in full...)

He says he wants to be friends but to be patient. Is he playing games with me?

Q.   When I was 22, I was in a very serious relationship. After his father died, he broke up with me. We didnt speak for a number of years. We both married other people, and had children. We found each other again, I was divorced, he was happily married, ...

A.   11 June 2017: I would only reserve my patience for someone I can fully trust and who's committed to me already. He is just using his family as an excuse to not start another relationship. I also would not travel 2 hours to see just a friend. If you have limitless ... (read in full...)

Is my ex girlfriend crazy and a hypocrite?

Q.   My ex girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. Literally the day after my bday actually. On my actual bday she was giving me the cold shoulder all day. She was more concerned with watching shows on her laptop then spending time with me. We were ...

A.   15 April 2017: As much as people want to say there is equality of sexes in the career department, there is still a bit of double standard when it comes to a man being able to provide financially for women. Maybe it's because it's easier for an incomeless woman to ... (read in full...)

I overthink and cannot just let things be in the moment.

Q.   Dear aunts and uncles, I often do overthink stuff and I feel like I am in this situation too. All I am asking here if for you guys to hear me out and give me your views and comments. Sorry if this post gets too long. Thank you in advance to al...

A.   24 March 2017: It's normal to feel the way you do. You've only been with each other for a short time. When he mentioned long term plans, it was reassuring but at the same time you begin to build expectations such that if he doesn't text you back, you worry about ... (read in full...)

Her past bothers me, though I do like our sex life!

Q.   Hey guys, I've been dating a girl for a few months and it's going really great, but her past has come up more than a few times (mainly by me) her lifestyle bothers me a bit she's 22 and loves to club. Has had 12 sexual partners her last dude wa...

A.   24 March 2017: You don't need a virgin as a girlfriend, and you don't need someone with a wild past in order to have a satisfying sex life. Just someone in between or someone who doesn't party that much. I guess the majority of people fall in the middle, the happy ... (read in full...)

Am I a sex addict? 101

Q.   I just turned 31. I think about sex atleast every 30 minutes. I mentally undress every woman i See or imagine them having sex although im actually not interested in women sexually. My partner count is about 73 men and 2 women. To me a man has to ...

A.   22 March 2017: It won't be a problem if you simply be a free spirit, meet a lot of people and enjoy what they have to offer. But you don't seem happy because there's guilt and you refer yourself as damaged goods. That's not a healthy attitude to have. Although ... (read in full...)

Is my hubby just starting his mid-life crisis?

Q.   Dear aunts and Uncles, is my hubby just starting his mid-life crisis? He was always athletic and eat well so I can't say that all of a sudden he changed his life style, but he seems more interested in these areas. He picked up a new hob...

A.   19 March 2017: His problem is that he can't get an erection unless there is variety and novelty each time. As an effort to improve the marriage, he stopped porn. Unfortunately that did not reignite his desire for you. What he is saying is that you are not getting ... (read in full...)

I said "I love you" but he's not at that point and now I'm hurt/confused and wondering if I should break things off

Q.   About two weeks ago, I found myself (regrettably) drunk after a super fun night out with a group of friends and my boyfriend, who I have been seeing for nearly 6 moths. The BF very sweetly took care of getting me to my house, getting me into my ...

A.   16 March 2017: I don't think you should break things off. I think you should get used to the idea that love can be peaceful, quiet, and does not require constant reassurance about what level you are each at. To say he is not at "that point" can be inaccurate ... (read in full...)

We still like each other but I don't know how to make a move

Q.   I fell for a guy at a walking group a few years ago. There was a mutual attraction but people in the walking group did everything they could to make sure we did not date. At the time I thought these people were friends and were trying to protect me. ...

A.   11 March 2017: I would try to find out how important this walking group is, for him. If I were to date him I would be ready to quit the walking group if a relationship is more rewarding. Then I would suggest to meet outside of the walking group. ... (read in full...)

I don't know whether to keep seeing this man or not

Q.   I started dating a guy a few weeks ago, but a few things are worrying me. He knows a few gay men. One of these men kept asking me and this man what was going on between us. He pestered us for ages. This man jokingly blew the gay man a kiss. Another ...

A.   8 March 2017: He only said he isn't gay so you won't turn him down. A straight man won't say "he's not my type," because that implies he does have a type. It's also weird that he would blow a kiss to a guy who he later wanted to punch. Sounds like he wanted to ... (read in full...)

We went from sex twice a day to maybe once a week. I can't live without sex!

Q.   Hey here's the problem my boyfriend and I used to have sex twice a day morning and night we've been together just over 2 years he moved in after being together a year the past few months we hardly ever have sex maybe once a week I asked him if he ...

A.   7 March 2017: Maybe you feel like you can't live without sex but a lot of us, single by choice or not, are still living happy active lives. Maybe what you are seeking is not really the sessions that lead to a minute long tingling sensation, but rather the ... (read in full...)

My 22 year old daughter has sent nude photos to her boyfriend. How do I address this?

Q.   I recently discovered that my 22 year old daughter who is doing her post graduation has clicked and sent her nude pictures to her boyfriend. am concerned that its morally incorrect and also usually such pictures land up circulating. Its very...

A.   7 March 2017: I don't think nude photos usually get circulated. It's only in rare cases when there's a break up and there's a vindictive ex, or girls got involved with players only interested in collecting girls as a game. Or some creep who wants to post free ... (read in full...)

Is she being very friendly or flirting with some motive?

Q.   I shall try to make this short. I met a girl on a taxi when i was going to work. We chat and walk till i reach my work place. She ask my contact no. And we exchange our number. We didn't meet for the next 2 weeks. One day we happen to meet again on ...

A.   7 March 2017: She doesn't have the guts to just break up with his boyfriend so she is testing you to see if you can snatch you away from him. Her friendship with you is not innocent. Her boyfriend doesn't seem invested in the relationship either but neither of ... (read in full...)

I don't know whether to keep seeing this man or not

Q.   I started dating a guy a few weeks ago, but a few things are worrying me. He knows a few gay men. One of these men kept asking me and this man what was going on between us. He pestered us for ages. This man jokingly blew the gay man a kiss. Another ...

A.   7 March 2017: I see two concerns you have here. One is that he is bisexual and you worry whether he has the ability to concentrate on one person once he's in a relationship. Being bisexual absolutely does not mean one can't be faithful. You two have to build ... (read in full...)

Is it my fault I got put into the FWB category?

Q.   I've always been a woman that holds myself with dignity and believe that I have a lot to offer a man in a relationship. I am in no way saying this to brag or boast myself but my personality has always shined and others have told me so as well. ...

A.   19 January 2017: If you hold yourself with dignity, it means that whatever men do in your life, you don't take it personally or find fault in yourself. Honestly, I think this reflects on him, rather than on you. He was two timing you. Who would be able to trust him ... (read in full...)

Uncertain about my forthcoming marriage

Q.   im confuse with what i really feel and what should i do with my fiance. i doubt my thought and perception about him. sometimes i feel hes the right man for my life and future family. the other time i cant stand when we are together because we often ...

A.   5 December 2016: It seems like your fiancé is doing everything he can to reassure you but it's still not enough. There is no guarantees in life, even with a piece of marriage certificate. He's almost sexually pure, yet his history of a bj given by a prostitute could ... (read in full...)

He acted as though he liked me but then he went cold

Q.   In the begining of October this guy I havent seen since I graduated high school saw me out and spoke to me. Then a few days later he sent me a friend request and we talked for a few weeks on Facebook and he asked me for my number. We went out he ...

A.   4 December 2016: I feel you, and I want to say that somehow he needs to know that flirting then disappearing is not good manners. On the other hand, the practical side of me wants to caution you that flirting and kissing can't mean much if it's not backed up by ... (read in full...)

Why do I have crushes on women who are off limits?

Q.   Hello. I think that I'm experiencing my 3rd lifetime crush. I can only like girls who are older than me. I'm in my early twenties and all three girls I've had strong feelings for, were in their early thirties or so. And the worst part of it is th...

A.   3 December 2016: Crushes are most often not acted upon and they rarely develop into anything more. This does not invalidate your feelings and admiration towards that person. Nor is it wasting your time if you can decide to embrace it rather than feel embarrassed or ... (read in full...)

How do I accept compliments with confidence?

Q.   Dear cupids, This is a little embarrassing for me to admit. I head a team of three people at work and I am a bit of a shy and awkward kind of person. Whenever we mess up I know to behave like I'm sorry. I just take it on the chin, accept responsib...

A.   27 November 2016: The best way to respond to compliments is to thank the management for training and acknowledge hard work among your team, that you can't do it without them. Lastly is to say that you would keep up with the good work as there's is always room for ... (read in full...)

I've lost my best friend because of his jealous girlfriend

Q.   So I've been best friends with a guy since grade school. I haven't seen a lot of him this last year because I've been really busy studying for important exams, but we always kept in regular contact. In that time, he got a girlfriend. I bumped into ...

A.   8 October 2016: His girlfriend is a bully and has no class. Your so called best friend betrayed your friendship. They belong together. It's not that he's not seeing sense. He decides that his relationship with his girlfriend is more important. I am not sure if y... (read in full...)

Do you think he is selfish? Why does he have double standards over intimacy? Or am I overthinking?

Q.   Sorry English is not my first language. I am dating my boyfriend from last 1 year. My problem is related to our intimacy. When the first time we got intimate he asked me will you please give me a blow job i want to go down on you but you are havi...

A.   5 October 2016: Well, I will just tell him I can't give him blow jobs to protect his health, since he's the only healthy one and the dirty, corrupt world is all against him (sarcasm). Even if you are a virgin, if you have cold sores he could contract herpes down ... (read in full...)

What challenges can I expect in dating this woman?

Q.   Hey, I am looking for some advice I met a wonderful woman a few months back who is a single mother. We are both 28 years old. I have never been married, she is divorced with 2 boys ages 3 and 9. I really enjoy being with her...more than any...

A.   5 October 2016: I would first assume that she is looking for something serious, like you do. You might find it hard to find alone time with her. At the first few months, she may be trying to impress you so she would try her hardest to find babysitting so she can ... (read in full...)

Is it possible for your BF to have a tryst in an hour?

Q.   Likely or unlikely? Possible or not possible? Your boyfriend goes to the Home Depot and is gone for exactly one hour. Is it possible for him to leave his car in the Home Depot parking lot, have another woman pick him up, take him somewhere ...

A.   2 October 2016: I think anything is possible but you won't know for sure unless you put the gps tracker in his ass. Although I think this is too much hassle just to cheat. A desperate teenager might try something like that but for a guy who's mid age? Sex is just ... (read in full...)

I miss my ex sometimes but am afraid to tell my girlfriend

Q.   I miss my ex from time to time. We were together for 4 years. I have a gf and we are honest about everything. I feel bad for not telling her. We have been dating for 5 years. I never use to understand why people kept secrets between someone the...

A.   2 October 2016: If you want to tell her for the purpose of building trust and connection, saying missing your ex isn't going to do that. It would do the opposite. If you are hoping for understanding, empathy like a platonic friend would do, that's not going to ... (read in full...)

Criticized, humiliated and not loved and not appreciated. What do I need to do to get over this loveless marriage? I've put on weight and eventually my health will be affected.

Q.   I know I should be thankful for my marriage, home and trying to build up to a good life. But I have just woken up this morning and feel like maybe my marriage is just too hard to keep going. Mainly because our communication is terrible. I had ...

A.   2 October 2016: If she's willing to have a baby with you and not with anyone else, it means she doesn't care about love and marriage, as long as she gets to check off items in her to do list in life. You are someone who sponsors her citizenship, and probably her ... (read in full...)

LDR has it cooled, he finds it boring or...???

Q.   I would really appreciate some advice and your opinion. I've been in a LDR for a little over a month. We were together for a week before he had to leave and go back home (another continent!). We've been texting and talked over the phone a bit (I'...

A.   19 September 2016: His behavior does not suggest that you are in a relationship, more like a holiday fling but I guess he agreed it was, so that when he left, he felt good there would be someone missing him and welcoming him back next time you see him. But after he ... (read in full...)

What to do? I'm dating a woman aged 30 and I can't handle her "sleeping around" in the past.

Q.   I'm in my early 20s, not perfect but I met a woman who's 30 recently and we really hit it off. However shes has a LOT of bad things in her past. I'm not misogynist and I have obviously slept with girlfriends but she did a load of crazy stuff when...

A.   19 September 2016: Having sex at 16 in front of a crowd and taking drugs can not be considered fun. It's attention seeking when there's not enough love at home. At lot of wealthy families look perfect on the outside but inside there's no connection and people are ... (read in full...)

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