Like what
he writes?
... Add *ddie to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
|
| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
|
Is she having a text message affair with this guy or is it all innocent like she says?
Q. hey guys iam new to this site and want your advice. I have a girlfriend i have been seeing for quite some few months and things have really been going well with us until recently when i went through her phone and found text msgs from a guy i had ...
A. 5 January 2009: Is it possible for you to use punctuation and spell check? It's really difficult to follow a rambling, ongoing sentence.
Anyway, I digress. In my opinion, she got caught. She wants to "go off" on the guy so she can deflect some of the negative... (read in full...)
Is she having a text message affair with this guy or is it all innocent like she says?
Q. hey guys iam new to this site and want your advice. I have a girlfriend i have been seeing for quite some few months and things have really been going well with us until recently when i went through her phone and found text msgs from a guy i had ...
A. 4 January 2009: I would try to finish the conversation. You know ans she realizes you know. Unless you are content never knowing, finish what you started. Did she seem remorseful? Did she seem angry? What was her reaction and MOST importantly, her explanation ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: You asked me how I would respond if someone said that to me. I will be honest enough to say I would be flattered. I wouldn't run in the other direction but I would put up barriers. I would like the fact someone was attracted to me and I might ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: This is my last attempt. You say you were not flirting. When he told you there was something about you that was so cool....you liked it. That is OK. Then you said...but you're married. Of course he's going to dumb it down when you say that. ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: Re-read your original question and your follow ups. Ask yourself what your original concerns were. You wanted to know if what you did was appropriate. It sounds like you didn't get the feedback you wanted to justify your own thoughts.
Face ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: I agree with eyeswideopen on this one. The poster seems to be trying to get a certain response. I've made my point and understand what is decent. I'm not the one who said I was completely smitten with someone. Also, I haven't been cheated on but ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: You have women friends who trust you enough to sleep in the same bed as their husbands. That is uncommon and different. If you know how it feels to be cheated on, why would you flirt so much with a married man?
You seem so bitter. The people t... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 2 January 2009: I don't mean to be rude but are you naive? You don't mind hanging out with his wife as long as she doesn't know the truth....That is very nice of you. It's also a total farce because every time she turned her back you'd be making googly eyes at ... (read in full...)
Is she having a text message affair with this guy or is it all innocent like she says?
Q. hey guys iam new to this site and want your advice. I have a girlfriend i have been seeing for quite some few months and things have really been going well with us until recently when i went through her phone and found text msgs from a guy i had ...
A. 2 January 2009: I guess you should tell her. You already know about it and it's not like you're going to forget she's lying to you. Don't let the resentment build up because this will get to the point where it can't be fixed. You snooped which is wrong but what ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 2 January 2009: You already stepped over the line. Now you're looking for permission to go further. You know what you feel, you know what he said. "I'm completely smitten with him"...that says a lot. You actually said the words but you're not listening to the ... (read in full...)
Is this friendship in dangerous waters?
Q. I am a married woman who has been experiencing some turmoils in my relationship. I met this single man through work and we had an instant connection. He has been a wonderful listener of all my problems and I sense a strong interest from his side ...
A. 31 December 2008: 48years said it all. I'd like to ad that you always need to be careful in these situations. The single party has nothing to lose and nothing invested. It's a shot in the dark for him and a huge gamble for you. He's hoping for the chance to bed ... (read in full...)
What do I do with these feelings?
Q. I've been married for 4.5 years and have a daughter that is almost a year old. My marriage has often been very rocky. We separated once and reconciled then became pregnant. Only recently has my husband truly started to turn into a man worth being ...
A. 31 December 2008: You say your husband might not be genuine. It sounds like you're the one who might not be so genuine at the moment. If your husband is making big changes why would you cheat on him now? ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if an off-limits woman is in denial, or blatantly does not fancy me?
Q. Good afternoon! I was just wondering how to tell the difference between a woman trying hard not to show that she fancies a chap (since she may already be in a relationship/bequeathed to someone else for example), and a woman who blatantly just does ...
A. 30 December 2008: Either way, she's sending the signal she's not interested. So unless you want to chase a woman who is out of bounds, it shouldn't matter.
Is the difference subtle? I bet it is. Let's say you meet a woman at a party. She is alone, friendly... (read in full...)
Obsessed with wife's ex-lover/experience
Q. This sounds ridiculous but I need some perspective. I've been married 10 years. Good enough marriage. My wife isn't great in bed, and isn't enthusiastic about love-making, even though I sometimes make her howl with delight. However, I've been ...
A. 30 December 2008: Lots of people, mostly men I'd bet, think or dwell on this type of stuff. I imagine the only way to get through this is to be honest with yourself. You have to be truthful to understand reality.
I'm sure your wife got the impression you were unh... (read in full...)
How do I accept the fact my husband and I will never have sex again?
Q. How do I get over the fact my husband and I will never have sex again? It's been over a year now. To try and cut a long story short over a year ago I really hurt my husband's feelings. I was very rude and hurtful towards him. This wasn't the 1st ...
A. 27 December 2008: Why didn't you say how you hurt him? You've accepted responsibility, that's good. I could give you a better answer if you gave more information about the things that you did to hurt him.... (read in full...)
Some tips for a happy marriage!
Q. MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
A. 26 December 2008: I agree 100 % with what you've said. We also need to honest and realize there will be other temptations that come along. Perhaps temptations is too strong of a word. We need to understand that marriage is what you make it. Potential threats from ... (read in full...)
Do I have trust issues or am I right to worry?
Q. So I'm not officially in a relationship with this guy, but we're very much a couple. For new years, he is planning on going to Whistler (a ski resort in Canada) with his best friend who is a huge major player. I trust my guy but when he's drinking ...
A. 26 December 2008: First of all let me say this.....My daughter is your age and her boyfriend is off on an adventure in Australia for 6 months......This issue is one that is always out there but we never deal with it or admit the truth about human nature until it ... (read in full...)
How can my daughters father not make any effort to see her at xmas? Have I made the right decision cutting him out of our life?
Q. my husband and i split up two months ago due to his paranoia and abusive behaviour towards me,we have the odd contact as we share a daughter whom is 8yrs old.i have been trying to rebuild a life for myself and daughter without any financial help ...
A. 26 December 2008: Most importantly, what was his abusive behavior? If he is that abusive, why would you want him over on Christmas?
Be careful what advice you choose. No matter what you want, it's not all about you. He is the father, like it or not. That wa... (read in full...)
Anyone else had this type if divorce issue?
Q. My partner is going back to the USA to be at his daughter's wedding. His ex wife will be there but he does not wnt me to go. He says we can't afford it and that it would be very uncomfortable as it is her territory (she will be with her partner). ...
A. 26 December 2008: From my experience, the first thing to deal with is resentment. It builds until you explode.
Is it true you can't afford to go?
He should have discussed this with you. You're correct about that.
Mourning the marriage. That's unders... (read in full...)
Is an affair ever justified
Q. A christmas cracker: Is it ever 'right' to break your marriage vows? I still love my wife, but I don't fully understand why I feel these feelings for my mistress. I know it's wrong, but why does it feel so right? My lover paid me so much attentio...
A. 24 December 2008: I don't think affairs are ever good choices. I understand your feelings though. It sounds like a bit of a mid life crisis.
I've a little like you without the affair part. We start to feel a little bit down and get that last chance feeling ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to leave my wife and pursue relationship with an old friend?
Q. Ok i am at a lost and wanted to get an outside opinion of my situation...I don't know if I can save my marriage with my wife or if I even want to anymore, nor do I know how to tell her that though I love her dearly as she was my first love and is ...
A. 24 December 2008: Number one you are cheating on your wife. I'm referring to the discussions you're having with the other woman. If you're talking about how much you've liked each other in the past, you're stirring the pot. Do not do that before you finish what ... (read in full...)
Sleeping with an ex what does it mean?
Q. When u still sleep with an ex does it mean that there are still feelings between the 2 of them, even tho u split a month and a half ago? Thats what me and my ex are doing, and a lot of people we know down the club we go to, say that you both wou...
A. 21 December 2008: People who are horny can sleep with complete strangers. People can cheat on their partners at the drop of a hat. This all happens without any feelings of love or desire for more. It is especially true for men. So, could there still be feelings? ... (read in full...)
I get approached by men of all ages, it's getting weird, what's going on?
Q. Im 45 and single..Lately when I go any place I get approached by men of all ages (youngest 25) and I been told all kinds of lines to get me to go with them to have sex. Lines like "you are beautiful and seductive"" Tonight you are mine" " I saw your ...
A. 20 December 2008: I'm sure all women who go to bars on a regular basis get hit on. I would say that most times when a strange man approaches a woman in a bar he's at least somewhat interested. Otherwise, there is not much reason to approach perfect strangers. What ... (read in full...)
Do you think my wife is seeing someone else?
Q. Hi my wife has been away with work on several occation in the past few months. our sex life had been ok but since she as been away she seem to be differant in areas of what she does. over the weekend she offered oral sex which i have always had...
A. 8 December 2008: Well this is a real shot in the dark. ANYTHING is possible. These are some of the signs that COULD be clues of something going on. I stress the word COULD. I've read when people have a sudden change of behavior it is often for a reason. If you ... (read in full...)
Mixed up man...
Q. I am a 49 yearold male, I am happily married to my wife of thirty years but I have a problem, I am very much in love (lust) with her 39 year old daughter. She is not aware of this and I will keep it so but she looks so much like her mother it is ...
A. 6 December 2008: It is an attraction....So what? You can not stop what message your eyes send to your brain. As humans we are supposed to be able to stop our actions though. Leave it at that. It is also taboo so be wise and keep it under wraps.... (read in full...)
2 men are being friendly... or are they being more than friendly?
Q. I would like to know whether either of these two men are showing interest in me. First one at my child's school. He came past and very politely said hello and on the way home from school he passed me on the opposite side of the road and smiled ...
A. 6 December 2008: Nobody really knows what they're thinking. Of course they may be interested. It's just as possible though that they're not. There is a woman who lives near my house. I see her walk her dog all the time. She's attractive and we're both married. ... (read in full...)
We're friends who have sex, but are we really friends?
Q. Yet again I find myself let down. Story of my life really. I seem to meet blokes who constantly lie to me and use me. Anyway point of this question is that I met a guy a few months ago, who I really like - I think he's totally amazing! He lives ...
A. 6 December 2008: One of the problems is that when you agree to such loose boundaries....you have to accept them. Although it seems that your relationship has changed from the initial meetings, the rules were not modified. In your mind you're becoming attached and ... (read in full...)
Is my marriage over?
Q. We have been married for 23 years. For the last 5 years my wife and I have not been getting along very well. She seems to avoid spending time with me and when she does, there is something missing between us. She has no problems getting out with her ...
A. 5 December 2008: These are issues you might consider dealing with sooner rather than later. You seem to have conderns, some new ones and others from the past. It sounds like they still haunt you.
You say it seems like something is going on. How do you know... (read in full...)
Falling for someone else...she's married and I might as well be.
Q. I've been living with my girlfriend for 3.5 years in a house we've bought together. I love her but i don't know if I am or if I have ever been in love with her. Our relationship is stagnant and it seems like we stopped trying to get to know each ...
A. 5 December 2008: First of all it is important to be honest. You are cheating. When you form a deep bond/connection with a person other than your spouse, in the manner you mean, it's cheating.
You say you don't want to hurt your girlfriend, that's nice, but quit... (read in full...)
How can I break his heart into tiny little pieces?
Q. Hey I'd really like a male perspective on my problem but would also appreciate female feedback as well... I've been in an on and off again realtionship with my daughter's father, during one of our "breakups" he decided to go and have another ...
A. 4 December 2008: I don't think this is a forum for advice about how to hurt people. If he's a creep, get out of the relationship. If it bothers you when he even kisses you, why do you get to the sex part?... (read in full...)
When a guy is checking out big boob porn, what is he thinking of his small chested GF?
Q. When a guy is watching a porno with big breasted women, what is he thinking in that moment if his girlfriend has small boobs? What about afterwards? When they are watching, do they wish they could squeeze, lick and just play with big breasts? Do ...
A. 4 December 2008: Most men are pretty open minded and liberal about sex with women. Most men are thrilled to be chosen as a sexual partner, never mind who the woman is. It's not quite that bad and I'm trying to be light hearted but trust me, most men have a very ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's friend
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have 4 children together. He cheated on me once before, a while ago and we've been fine until recently. His friend and I were always close but recently it's been more than that. I'm not and never have ...
A. 3 December 2008: You don't appear to love your boyfriend either. Why would you play this game? ... (read in full...)
Why was I attracted to this man when I'm happily married?
Q. I'm happily married, have had ups and downs. Recently met a man, we connected right away and I soon started to have feelings for him. So many things about him are different from my husband. He's also falling for me as well, we say we are good ...
A. 2 December 2008: Why does it surprise you that you felt an attraction for another man? Guess what? There are thousands of other men you feel a connection with as well. We are built to feel attraction. The problem is that you allowed it to blossom and from what I ... (read in full...)
Is it a pipe dream that I have trying to make my marriage work?
Q. I am so confused. I am 37. Have a 5 year old daughter and a 17 year old step son. My wife has bounced from job to job and I have held my professional management position for 15 years. I make almost 100,000 a year and her spending habits have ...
A. 30 November 2008: If she had depression, that explains her side of the story. People who are depressed may not be lazy, they're depressed. I think you need to get some therapy as a couple. If you make the money you make and you have financial troubles, it's time ... (read in full...)
Can sexual attraction be so intense between two people that they are actually uncomfortable in each other's presence?
Q. Hi. I was just wondering (and please don't read too much into this!) whether sometimes the sexual attraction between two people can be so intense that they actually avoid each other (i.e. never actually consummate the attraction), net result being ...
A. 30 November 2008: People who experience sexual attraction outside of their current relationship may avoid contact with the person they're attracted to. If they're wise they see the big red flag warning them to stay away.
I think it differs for men and women to... (read in full...)
Two cheating people on a weekly basis for 8 months
Q. Hi, For the past 8 months I have been seeing this guy. He has a girlfriend far away with kids and I am engaged. We see each other on a weekly basis and go on vacations to amazing places all the time. Is it normal to have a pure sexual relationship ...
A. 29 November 2008: What a shallow existence for your significant others....and they don't even know. You make light of a situation that is really a potentially hurtful unison. To answer your question, I don't believe it's as much normal as it is common. Because ... (read in full...)
How do I overcome this stupid feeling of hurt knowing that he watches porn?
Q. So some may think im over thinking and some may feel what i feel... but its just something that always seems to bug me here and there thought i'd see if i can get any advice or see what others think... my husband of 2 yrs watches occasional porn ...
A. 29 November 2008: One of the first things you admit is that you also watch porn occasionally. There is your answer. Porn, for some people, can be sexy. Others don't like it. Some people like to be watched having sex, others like to be the voyeurs. Some like ... (read in full...)
Why after 15 years of blissful marriage have I just started to look at my wife and ask myself do I fancy her???
Q. Why after 15 years of blissful marriage have I just started to look at my wife and ask myself do I fancy her any more. It has just started and driving me crazy, I can't talk to anyone as I don't want to upset her, I love her to bits . I just want to ...
A. 29 November 2008: I think you may be going through a mid life type of crisis. What exactly do you mean about wondering if you still "fancy" her as much as you used to? Do you mean you question yourself about her physical beauty? Are you trying to compare her to a ... (read in full...)
Why after 15 years of blissful marriage have I just started to look at my wife and ask myself do I fancy her???
Q. Why after 15 years of blissful marriage have I just started to look at my wife and ask myself do I fancy her any more. It has just started and driving me crazy, I can't talk to anyone as I don't want to upset her, I love her to bits . I just want to ...
A. 29 November 2008: It is probably because your relationship has become routine. This is very common and normal. It is impossible to be with one person for your entire life and not have some emotional peaks,valleys, outside attractions and many other things.
... (read in full...)
I'm getting a divorce! What are my legal rights to his inheritance??
Q. I am getting a divorce after ten years, I need to know if I am legally entitled to his inheritence or what reasons I would not be entitled to it....
A. 28 November 2008: Why would you deserve his inheritance? Did he already get it? Another way to ask this question would be ....am I entitled to the money of my ex's family ? He's your ex, get your own money.... (read in full...)
I love a married man! I don't expect him to leave his wife, but I suffer so much when not being with him, what can I do??
Q. hello, i dont want any hurtful or rude comments, iam writing to everyone here because i think this is a site for evryone to write about their problems and feeling's. Well, iam seeing a married man. i have ben seeing him for 2 1/2 years now. i got ...
A. 28 November 2008: I know you don't want any rude comments but the best advice you could get would be how to make better choices when choosing your lovers. You don't need to hear about how you can make him feel guilty, you need to hear about how you can find a single ... (read in full...)
He constantly tells me that we would be together if he wasn't in a relationship already, do you think we can be just friends?
Q. I met this guy over the summer and we became fast-close friends ever since. We like each other very much (not just a friendly way). However, he's in a 4-year relationship. We have not done anything with each other; not even holding hands. Yet, he ...
A. 27 November 2008: He's baiting you and you're gladly accepting it. If you believe in karma then you'd keep distance. You say you have not done anything with each other. That is not true. This is the first thing you need to own up to. He throws compliments and ... (read in full...)
My birthday is close to Christmas.. My boyfriend wants to give me a combined two-fer gift....
Q. What if your boyfriend knew your birthday was coming for a couple of months, he knows how poorly you have been treated in the past on your birthday and because your birthday is close to Christmas he says he is going to give you a twofer, meaning ...
A. 27 November 2008: You really sound worried about the small stuff. Get over it and stop being so resentful. If there's something you really want, drop the hint and see what you get.... (read in full...)
How can I make myself more thankful for the things I have?
Q. How can I learn gratitude? I try really hard, when things go real bad in my life to count my blessings, but I have such a hard time to do so. Am I a selfish bad person? I know, it would be greatly improving my life, yet I'm just always looking at ...
A. 27 November 2008: Try to do some volunteer work with the less fortunate. Most of us are never as grateful as we should be while times are good. It's not until we knocked down a few pegs that we realize what is really important.... (read in full...)
I don't think I love my husband anymore! Help!
Q. Hi I feel sick and utterly alone not being able to talk to anyone about my marriage. There is nobody I feel I can be absolutely honest with and the one person I should do my husband I don't want to hurt. We have been married 9 years and have 4...
A. 27 November 2008: I'd like to add one more thing. Please do not try to deal with this alone. People often spin into depression and lose focus. If this site was your first step on the road to fixing this problem....you've made progress already. Also, some of the ... (read in full...)
I don't think I love my husband anymore! Help!
Q. Hi I feel sick and utterly alone not being able to talk to anyone about my marriage. There is nobody I feel I can be absolutely honest with and the one person I should do my husband I don't want to hurt. We have been married 9 years and have 4...
A. 27 November 2008: Are you a wealthy family. I only ask because it is important to remember your husband is supporting 6 people on his income. It sounds as though you are a little stressed out too. You enjoy being a mother and caring for the kids and he enjoys his ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a cheap boyfriend
Q. I am at a loss. I have been in a relationship with this guy for 3 years. We lived together for 1.5 years and then moved out but decided to keep trying our luck at making the relationship work. The main issues (according to me!) were 1. money 2. ...
A. 25 November 2008: Don't count on your parents money, get yourself up and running. It sounds like money is a huge issue in your relationship. At this point you don't have enough and he seems to have some extra. You resent that he won't spend it and he resents that ... (read in full...)
He cut contact with me and our son because his wife has discovered our affair! What do you think?
Q. Over a year ago i got in contact with someone from my past. His marriage was very unhappy and he was there for his children as they meant everything to him.He stopped loving his wife and his marriage had been on the rocks for a couple of years ...
A. 23 November 2008: You should make him pay his share. Both of you created a situation that will last for the rest of your lives. He shouldn't have cheated on his wife and you should have had better morals. At this point you can only help he does the right thing. I ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a cheap boyfriend
Q. I am at a loss. I have been in a relationship with this guy for 3 years. We lived together for 1.5 years and then moved out but decided to keep trying our luck at making the relationship work. The main issues (according to me!) were 1. money 2. ...
A. 22 November 2008: He may sound a little focused on money but I have a question. Cheap is defined as someone who is stingy. In other words, someone who doesn't like to spend their money. Hmmmmmm....that describes you !! He wants to pay his part and you don't want ... (read in full...)
| *ddie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ddie has
added them and they have added *ddie!
|
