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*ddie agony aunt

*ddie

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*ddie's profile:

Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.

I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.

The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part.

Latest articles:

Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?

This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...

Fidelity and marriage

This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [51 pages, 1988 answers]

She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!

Q.   I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...

A.   1 October 2011: I didn't imply she had sex before. What I said was this....if she's never had sex before she wouldn't know the difference. If someone had a six inch object and stuck it in my ear, or another oriface, I wouldn't know if it was inserted 1/4,1/3,1/2 ... (read in full...)

Triangle of lies!

Q.   I know I messed up but what now? I need advice, I know what I need to do but I would like someone else to give me an opinion on how... I started working for this guy, he was my immediate boss, he was handsome and kind and understanding...we became ...

A.   30 September 2011: Sorry about all the spelling mistakes in my previous post. I wanted to reply and I was in a hurry. Telling our husband, or not, is your choice. Some people would say not to do that and others would say that is the thing to do. Good luck. Ehat ... (read in full...)

Triangle of lies!

Q.   I know I messed up but what now? I need advice, I know what I need to do but I would like someone else to give me an opinion on how... I started working for this guy, he was my immediate boss, he was handsome and kind and understanding...we became ...

A.   30 September 2011: Sorry about all the spelling mistakes in my previous post. I wanted to reply and I was in a hurry. Telling our husband, or not, is your choice. Some people would say not to do that and others would say that is the thing to do. Good luck. Ehat ... (read in full...)

She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!

Q.   I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...

A.   29 September 2011: I'm not sure there's any blame here. Permission to insert a penis a bit of the way??? When does it become consentual? 3/4, 4/5, 7/8 of the way in. how much is a bit? If she had never had sex before, how did she know the difference? I believe ... (read in full...)

Triangle of lies!

Q.   I know I messed up but what now? I need advice, I know what I need to do but I would like someone else to give me an opinion on how... I started working for this guy, he was my immediate boss, he was handsome and kind and understanding...we became ...

A.   29 September 2011: You have to getn the word FRIEND out of the picture. You have had sex and that change everything. You mention female friends who ended up being not trustworthy and back stabbers.....that is what you're doing with this guy. I'm trying to point out ... (read in full...)

Triangle of lies!

Q.   I know I messed up but what now? I need advice, I know what I need to do but I would like someone else to give me an opinion on how... I started working for this guy, he was my immediate boss, he was handsome and kind and understanding...we became ...

A.   28 September 2011: This other guy is not a friend. Friends don't have sex. It sounds like you were both flirting and sharing too much personal information. This is the text book lead up to an affair. It's two people getting satisfaction from a person other than a ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend isn't lasting like he used to, is he cheating?

Q.   Me and my bf used 2 have great sex but recently he's only lasting like not even a minute? He never used 2 b like this and am scared that he's cheating on me?...

A.   26 September 2011: How long did he last before?... (read in full...)

How can I help my wife to see that her partying with her gay and straight male friends is ruining our marriage?

Q.   Hi, i'm 28, my wife 27, been married for 18 months now. Our marriage has been good up until now; she's a lovely wife and a kind, caring person. However, she's been going out partying far too much with her gay friends, and refuses to invite M...

A.   22 September 2011: If everything you're saying is accurate, it sounds like you might have a reason to be concerned. I can't imagine my wife choosing to exclude me from events that are gender nuetral and night club type outings. It sounds like there should be no ... (read in full...)

Is this happily married woman looking to have an affair with me?

Q.   I am a divorced man and met a married woman through ballroom dancing. She was my partner for a recent dance competition, during which I found myself drawn to her. She enjoys dancing with me, is flirty with me. We do a lot of hugging and holding each ...

A.   18 September 2011: Number one, she IS married and YOU should repect that. Number two, she told you to keep things in check because her husband fulfills her. Number three, if what you say accurate, I'd say she is helping to create an atmosphere that is "muddy" ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend told me he nevers gets jealous?

Q.   I find this hard to believe. When I pointed out jealousy is a basic human emotion experienced at least once by all, he admitted he had felt it "occasionally" when he "considered things" (?) But aside from that, he had "no experience" with the ...

A.   16 September 2011: You don't want someone to be jealous. Feel good that you don't have to suffer through a relationship with someone who watches your every move and doesn't trust you. The opposite is not nice.... (read in full...)

I know its wrong but this man has a power over me!

Q.   I have always been the kind of person who has thought infidelity is the worst thing you can ever do to a person,in a word - the ultimate be-trail that is why I'm so confused at the moment, I feel sick inside. I have been with my partner 10 years, ...

A.   29 August 2011: First of all he's not a friend. Friends don't do that. You also say you'd never do it again with another man. You don't know that. There other men out there who would be even more attractive to you than the guy you're fooling around with. You ... (read in full...)

The woman I like has a boyfriend but said she likes me. What should I expect?

Q.   I need a little help deciphering what happened when I went out last night. So here is the quick run down... My friends and I went out to a local bar/club and I met this beautiful woman. Everything seemed to be going great. We danced a couple ...

A.   29 August 2011: If she has a boyfriend you should expect nothing because she's not available. You shouldn't persue her until she's single.... (read in full...)

Traveling girlfriend's lazy communication is making me nervous!

Q.   My girlfriend has gone traveling for 6 weeks to central America.We have been seeing each other for 4 months in what has been a whirlwind romance, we have both declared our love and said that we would be faithful. All was well sending emails, ...

A.   29 August 2011: One more thing..........do not try and analize every detail of her trip/actions. For every point you make to justify your thoughts and fears , there is an opposite point that is just as possible. If you break down every fear you have and read into ... (read in full...)

Traveling girlfriend's lazy communication is making me nervous!

Q.   My girlfriend has gone traveling for 6 weeks to central America.We have been seeing each other for 4 months in what has been a whirlwind romance, we have both declared our love and said that we would be faithful. All was well sending emails, ...

A.   29 August 2011: Well there isn't much that can be done at this point. I know what your up against and your thoughs are painting all kinds of scenarios that make you feel helpless and threatened. The only thing you can do is let the chips fall where they may. If ... (read in full...)

My wife admitted that she cheated with my friend 18 years ago

Q.   My wife and I have been together for 19 years today, married for 16 of those. We have no children. We have had some ups and downs in the relationship and even separated once 11 years ago because my wife wanted to prove that she could support he...

A.   6 August 2011: Did she have sex with anyone the year you were separated? Did you?... (read in full...)

I'm engaged, he's married but sometimes the way he looks at me I think he has feelings for me

Q.   I am here to get some opinion on where you think I stand in my male friend's eyes. He is married and I am currently engaged. The confusion stems from some actions of his and some words he says. Maybe I over think it, but I would love to have your ...

A.   6 August 2011: Everything he's doing sounds like flirting to me. He's just being so direct it's almost like he's not doing anything. There is a saying ....the bigger the lie the easier it is to believe. Those are not normal things to say to people if you'r... (read in full...)

Can a good man just make a mistake? Or once a cheater always a cheater?

Q.   Long story short, my boyfriend of a year cheated on me with a one night stand. We got in a fight, I said really mean hurtful things I didn't mean and told him I never wanna talk to you again! Well the next night, he went out, got really drunk and ...

A.   6 August 2011: What was the fight about? Technically, he wasn't cheating.... (read in full...)

What gives women the right to judge men for having been to prostitutes?

Q.   Every time a man complains about a woman's sexual past he gets told he has no right to talk about it. But a lot of women will judge a man if they hear that he has slept with a prostitute. It's hypocrisy. If the past can't be held against one ...

A.   25 July 2011: I think there are lots of reasons why people do what they do. I believe that most people who work in the sex industry are probablly lacking something, somewhere, somehow. They might not even be aware of it but they probably put up a front of false ... (read in full...)

I took the coat to her, so surely she should be the one to travel to return it to me?

Q.   I am hoping you could give me some objectivity here. You see my gf and I broke up a few months ago. It was an ugly break up. A lot of wounds. Still, there is anger and resentment on both sides. Now, while we were dating I lent her an expensive coa...

A.   25 July 2011: I'd like to add after reading other answers, the following: The person who borrowed the coat out of necessity is, in my mind, the one who is morally obligated to return it. You wouldn't borrow someones car and leave it at the mall......Most times ... (read in full...)

I took the coat to her, so surely she should be the one to travel to return it to me?

Q.   I am hoping you could give me some objectivity here. You see my gf and I broke up a few months ago. It was an ugly break up. A lot of wounds. Still, there is anger and resentment on both sides. Now, while we were dating I lent her an expensive coa...

A.   25 July 2011: Life is too short to argue over the coat. If the coat is that important you'll get on the train and pick it up. If it's not that importanat then it's possible you're just trying to make a fuss about something. At this point she has the coat. You ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend earns more than me, should he pay for more once we buy a house together?

Q.   Hi. I have just had an interesting conversation with my colleague. I am about to buy a house with my bf of 18 months. He has fronted the 10% deposit for the house as he has managed to save really well over the last couple of years whereas I am c**p ...

A.   25 July 2011: I give you credit for seeing things as you do. Unless someone offers to carry you, you shold carry yourself. It can lead to resentment when the honeymoon stage of a relationship is over. If you go to a restaurant do they charge you accordin... (read in full...)

Married woman's marriage in trouble. Can I be there to pick up the pieces?

Q.   Hey guys. First time here. Hoping you can help. I have feelings for a woman who is married. She is going through some hard times in her marriage right now and seems to be struggling about whether to stay with her husband. We have been having ...

A.   26 May 2011: If you have already given up on your own marriage why don't you be decent enough to end it officially. On one hand you are trying to be decent and rightious but on the other hand you're stringing along your wife when you're emotionally absent form ... (read in full...)

I'm married. He's married. We need advice.

Q.   I married for 4 years, no kids, my relationship was very good until I have to relocate to a different state due to work. After living away from my husband for 4 months I found out he was not sleeping at home (couple of nights), since then my ...

A.   4 May 2011: The other aunt said, never believe a married man, even if he's in love with you and says he wants to leave his wife. Why is it always the fault of the man. How about this.....if you're in a relationship, male or female, don't stick your nose in ... (read in full...)

How should I confront my husband about his texting in bed when he thinks I am asleep?

Q.   How should i confront my husband about him texting when he thinks i am asleep? My husband is sending a 'hi' msg on his bbm to his coworker at 12:30 am, while he thinks i am sleeping with our babies. what should you make of it?...

A.   30 April 2011: It's really not normal. A person wouldn't message the butcher, baker or the candlestick maker in the middle of the night. I wouldn't message my mother, sister, buddy, neighbour, pizza delivery guy etc..... What if you did the same thing next time... (read in full...)

Wife's ex-boyfriend calls her. Should I intervene?

Q.   My wife's ex-boyfriend (one she dated for three months twenty years ago!) sought her out on Facebook. She wanted to catch up with him and she also felt badly for dumping him back when and wanted to apologize to him. They exchanged about a dozen e-...

A.   30 April 2011: Technology has given us new ways to get our thrills. Facebook is the new telephone call. Middle aged people can't bring themselves to actually make or recieve a phone call but CAN justify talking on Facebook. If a person TRULY means no harm, ... (read in full...)

Why do women lie that they're virgins?

Q.   Why do women get angry if a virgin man wants to marry a virgin woman? And why do most of them lie about there sexual past to the virgin guy?...

A.   30 April 2011: Jamen Somasu says "women are incapable of being loyal by nature" That is a real pant load! He forgets about the committment factor of a relationship. That is a choice and says that a person chooses to honour the relationship over other urges. He ... (read in full...)

I haven't had sex in 20 years and really don't know what to do or expect!

Q.   I am a 55 year old women that hasn't had sex in 20 years. I have recently started dating again an I am sure he will want to have sex soon and I am horrified I have no idea what to expect. Can anyone give advice of help please...

A.   30 April 2011: It will be like 20 years ago. The fact you say "I am sure HE will want to have sex soon" sounds like you feel sex is a chore. What is your history and why are you down on sex. To go without sex for 20 years is a choice. Women can get sex when ... (read in full...)

Why do women lie that they're virgins?

Q.   Why do women get angry if a virgin man wants to marry a virgin woman? And why do most of them lie about there sexual past to the virgin guy?...

A.   24 April 2011: Women probably get angry about that because it implies they're less worthy if they've had sex. This would be especially trueif the guy is not a virgin. I really believe the virginity thing is almost always an issue with men as opposed to women. ... (read in full...)

Wife is away, does husband want to play?

Q.   Can anyone please tell me why a married man has made it a point to tell me that his wife is out of town on business for a few days? Is this an innocent statement or is there a reason he is saying this to me?...

A.   23 April 2011: Well you answered the question. He flirts, you like it, he continues. Not rocket science really.... (read in full...)

Wife is away, does husband want to play?

Q.   Can anyone please tell me why a married man has made it a point to tell me that his wife is out of town on business for a few days? Is this an innocent statement or is there a reason he is saying this to me?...

A.   22 April 2011: The reality is this. Nobody on this site was part of the conversation. Nobody but you I mean. It is impossible to know the context of the statement or the tone. It is also impossible to know what he is actually thinking. In the end, it only ... (read in full...)

Hot woman wants you but you are married...

Q.   This question is for MARRIED MEN!!! But men in general can answer it. PLEASE ANSWER TRUTHFULLY!!!!!!! If a beautiful and hot woman was showing interest in you and was everything you were looking for in a woman and more, ie. you have everythin...

A.   22 April 2011: If you allow yourself to get into that situation, you're already cheating or neglecting your marriage. In other words, if you spend that much time getting to the point where you have all those feelings, you've been cheating already. That situation ... (read in full...)

Been married for 5 years and attracted to someone else

Q.   I have been married for almost 5 years I got married really young it was the day after my 18th birthday. I love my husband very much, but I don't think I am in love with him anymore. I am extremely attrated to another man. This has happened once ...

A.   22 April 2011: There will always be attractions. You are supposed to feel attractions. You might not be attracted to your husband because the relationship has slipped. What happens if you leave your husband for the new guy and then become attracted to another ... (read in full...)

Should she be my Facebook Friend?

Q.   I have been trying to decide whether to send a Facebook Friend request to a lady friend that i work with. We get on well and have some very good conversations, and have developed a friendship, although we dont actually see each other that much . I ...

A.   22 April 2011: The amount of thought and consideration makes me think you like her as more than a friend. You say you know you can never have a future with her. That means you probably do like her. If I were her husband I wouldn't be thrilled but the reality is ... (read in full...)

Can dating a woman who is separated be legitimate if her husband doesn't know about it?

Q.   Hi, Thanks for any help on this. I have recently become involved with someone who works close to me. It started out simply as emails which graduated to a certain intimate aspect. We have since become physically involved. She is currently sep...

A.   22 April 2011: It could be legitimate but do you want to be part of it? If so, how long do you put your life on hold for?... (read in full...)

How close can a guy be with a female friend, when in a committed relationship with another girl?

Q.   How close can a guy be to him female friends when in a committed relationship with a girl? What are the things that a boyfriend can and cannot do with female friends when he is committed to someone?...

A.   22 April 2011: First of all, your main relationship has to be rock solid. Sometimes the reason people seek friendship with someone of the opposite sex is because it fulfills something missing. In other words, they get something from the friend they are not ... (read in full...)

Husband wants to attend ex-father-in-law's funeral!

Q.   My husband wants to attend the funeral of his ex-father in law. I feel very strongly that he should not. He wasn't particularly close to him but says he should do it out of respect. I would feel very uncomfortable going with him as I have met most...

A.   10 June 2010: If you need to have that much control over a funeral, the next funeral will be for the burial of your marriage. What are you afraid of? The fact that he has three children are reminders that he did have a life before he met you. That will never ... (read in full...)

I know the relationship is wrong but I don't want to let go of him

Q.   I dont really know where to start...I have been best friends with a guy for the last three or four years who has helped me through a previouse relationship with his friend..He has always been there for me and listened to me endlessly speak of my ...

A.   9 May 2010: What you had was a friendship. He is no longer a friend but alove interest. I'm surprised you said his wife is insecure. It sounds like she has reason to be. You and he are out for drinks and discussing your love for each other. I'd say she is ... (read in full...)

Isnt she completely over the line here?

Q.   My wife was snooping through some of my personal belongings and found a picture of my exgirlfriend and an old letter that she had sent me. She asked me why I had kept those two things and I told her quite honestly that I didn't even know I still ...

A.   3 April 2010: I don't agree that everything you do, think or feel are her business. If you're doing something wrong, it's her business. If you have dirty thoughts about the woman in the next office, that's your mental treat. Of course you can't act on them of ... (read in full...)

Ex colleague wants to meet up. Should I?

Q.   I have worked with a man for over a year, he recently quit and contacted me stating that he always wanted to know what it would be like to be with me. I'm flattered (he is very attractive) but he recently had a child with his on again off again ...

A.   3 April 2010: "I always wanted to know what it would be like to be with you" Just so you know, most of the guys you come across in life will probably ponder that question. Don't read too much into it.... (read in full...)

My fiance wants me to make out with another woman while he watches!!!

Q.   hi my boyfriend, now my fiance, soon to be my husband wants me to make out with another woman and for him to watch.. he said he wont get close or get involve or get near her, he said to even tie him up to the bed or a chair and for him to just sit ...

A.   28 March 2010: I don't thin it is generally a great idea. On the other hand, if you're into that type of thing, it's OK. Only you know what "you" want to do. I don't think it's selfish of him to ask or think about it either. He has a right to his thoughts and ... (read in full...)

Should I cancel this trip so he realizes I'm serious?

Q.   I just can't believe the incident that occured with me and my boyfriend. I went to meet him because he was waiting for his daughter to get dropped off by her mother..so, while I'm in the car with him and his daughter he ask's his ex if she needs a ...

A.   28 March 2010: If you're basing everything on the fact he offered her a ride, you're over reacting. If the other points you mentioned are true,that is the bigger issue.... (read in full...)

Is this really American culture? It hurts that he considers what I did in a picture 9 months ago as cheating

Q.   Hi dearcupids! You always offer great advice, so here's a question for you. My boyfriend and I recently got into a fight about a picture that was taken of me. Now Im from a different country than him, he's American. In this picture I was at a party ...

A.   21 February 2010: It's not so much an American thing as it is just a thing. Not all Americans are that way. There is a wide spectrum of people in that country. I live in Canada and my city is on the border with the USA. I'm also married to an American and I've ... (read in full...)

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