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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I kissed another guy, how can I get my boyfriend to trust me again?
Q. I have made the biggest mistake of my life! I have a bf who i admit we have had our problems but yesterday i cheated on him and kissed another guy! It didnt even feel right. I confessed to him today and he is completely beside himself. He says he ...
A. 4 February 2009: He needs time because as of yesterday, you are no longer trustworthy. That is the what happens when you behave this way. What happened? How did the kiss happen? Who was the guy?... (read in full...)
Should I wait 5 years for him to leave his wife?
Q. I have been seeing this man for almost three years now. He is perfect. He is kind, caring considerate, attentive, loving, great in the sack the problem is he is married. He has a child from the previous marriage and states he can't leave his new ...
A. 4 February 2009: This is going to sound mean but you do not deserve anything from this guy now or ever. If he represents what you believe is "perfect", your expectations are way too low. So are his. If you wait five years and he doesn't leave his wife, you'll be ... (read in full...)
Feeling left out
Q. I am a very social person. I love people. My feelings are always hurt when I am left out of a party or get-together. I have a couple who are good friends of mine. I am pretty sure that they consider me a good friend also. I have done lots o...
A. 2 February 2009: I think you're correct. For instance, and this is just an example, let's assume someone in the core group that was invited to the birthday party wasn't fond of you. Let's also assume that the person who planned the party knew this. They have a ... (read in full...)
Can life be perfect? Is it too good to be true?
Q. My husband and I have been together for thirty years and married twenty-six. We have a twenty-five year old son and two twenty-three year old daughters. I also have one grandchild whom I spoil like no other! Even if she is about 7500 miles away. ...
A. 1 February 2009: All of us go through our ups and downs. It sounds to me like you happen to be enjoying a smooth period in your life and you have your head screwed on properly at the same time. The good part is you happened to acknowledge and understand it.
... (read in full...)
Feeling left out
Q. I am a very social person. I love people. My feelings are always hurt when I am left out of a party or get-together. I have a couple who are good friends of mine. I am pretty sure that they consider me a good friend also. I have done lots o...
A. 1 February 2009: I also believe it sounds somewhat childish. People have different groups of friends and levels of friendship. It can be hurtful when the extent of the friendship is not the same on both sides.
If you do become too pushy you will possibly... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself from going too far with my fantasies of men I work with?
Q. I'm 39, happily married to a wonderful man who is a couple of years younger than me. I love him very much and we have a young daughter together. For the last 4 years I've found myself highly attracted to older men - at work, at school... anywhe...
A. 31 January 2009: Fantasies are in your head. Putting yourself in the company of the men you fantisize about is an actual action. It puts you in a dangerous place. Keep your thoughts in your head and your feet on the ground.... (read in full...)
She doesn' t like older guys, if I express my feelings I think she'll cut me off
Q. I am 40 year old single male. I live in a duplex. My neighbor is a 21 year old very attractive female. She is sassy, fun, and spontaneous. She doesnt have a washer and dryer, so this is how we started to get acquainted. We have a good friendship....
A. 31 January 2009: I'm 45. I have a daughter who is almost 20. I actually had this conversation with a single 45 year old male friend last night. He tends to like younger women. I find it creepy.
People who are 20 think they know a lot. They usually don't. ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with husband? Or go to lover?
Q. I had an affair for about 7 months, both my lover and I told our spouses.Both of our spouses want to try and work on our marriages.My lover said he told his wife he would give the marriage another chance. So we were stopped visiting and only...
A. 31 January 2009: I tend to agree with Ginalolabrid. When I hear about people complaining about affairs it reminds me of childrenwhining. When you begin these type of things, you are entitled to nothing. You get scraps,leftovers and even those are more than you ... (read in full...)
Hockey game w/co-worker--husband says its a date!
Q. I am going to hockey game with a male co- worker. He knows that I am married and we are just friends. My husband is really bothered by it because he said that men and women can not be just friends.My husband said that I am going on a date and ...
A. 31 January 2009: You have not been invited to anything for about 7 years. If that has bothered you and you didn't do anything about it, then it's your own fault. You say you haven't been "invited" out. Who have you expected to be invited out by? It just sounds ... (read in full...)
Love my BF, but so attracted to this guy! What to do?
Q. Hi!Well, today I woke up, and a stupid dream turned out to change me a little,just a little.... I am dating this guy almost for a year ,and I love him, I care about him, we´re friends and sex is really great. We work together, which is really f...
A. 24 January 2009: You left out one important detail in your original question....you're spending time talking about sex with a man you're attracted to. I'm sorry to say but in my mind, that is emotional cheating. There is nothing about those conversations that is ... (read in full...)
Love my BF, but so attracted to this guy! What to do?
Q. Hi!Well, today I woke up, and a stupid dream turned out to change me a little,just a little.... I am dating this guy almost for a year ,and I love him, I care about him, we´re friends and sex is really great. We work together, which is really f...
A. 23 January 2009: Thre is nothing wrong with your behaviour. You haven't done anything wrong. As a matter of fact your thoughts have moved you enough to ask what is going on because you feel guilty. You feel and attraction. That is the entire story. So what? ... (read in full...)
He just opened up and told me he my be sexually attracted to a co worker...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend of 4 years and we have 2 kids. He just opened up and told me he my be sexually attracted to a co worker. He told me he knows 99 percent he don't want to be in a relationship with her. I asked him if I'm doing something ...
A. 20 January 2009: Well I guess you should give him some credit for being honest but I'm not sure why he told the co worker. The fact he is attracted to someone else is normal. We all feel tugs of attraction from time to time. The fact he took the time to tell her ... (read in full...)
I messed up with my girlfriend, and now she's overly sensitive and paranoid of nudity
Q. I'm a 30 year old man. I've finally found the woman I want to spend my life with, and I think I f***ed it up. When I first met her, she made it very clear that watching porn would be a deal breaker. And I wanted her badly enough that I agreed wi...
A. 18 January 2009: One thing that many people have missed here is that sexual interests go from one extreme to another. It seems this guy and his wife are very far apart. He may be a little too overt about his interests and she might be somewhat obsessed about ... (read in full...)
I messed up with my girlfriend, and now she's overly sensitive and paranoid of nudity
Q. I'm a 30 year old man. I've finally found the woman I want to spend my life with, and I think I f***ed it up. When I first met her, she made it very clear that watching porn would be a deal breaker. And I wanted her badly enough that I agreed wi...
A. 17 January 2009: Tricky question. It seems you may be a little more sexually liberated than her or at least you have different views about what is OK.
She says she can't trust you. At this she is correct. I'm not saying her demands are legitimate or somethin... (read in full...)
Sex as a weapon?
Q. Just to let the ladies know, this DOES NOT AMOUNT TO ANYTHING POSITIVE! Yes, women and men can enjoy sex just as much as the other, but men in general 'do' want it more than women and our feelings towards it are different. Men view sex as 'ess...
A. 17 January 2009: I agree with most of what you've said. Using sex as a weapon or giving it out as a reward is not a great idea. A always speak in general terms too. there are always exceptions to the rule. But on average, I think you're correct.
I've said thi... (read in full...)
DO you think there is a higher power?
Q. DO you think there is a higher power, that we can use to turn to when our life turns bitter? How can we actually know there is a higher power, if we never actually seen it? How come, some of us can easily believe this higher power thing, and can ...
A. 13 January 2009: I am not a believer in a particular faith. I try to do on to others as I'd have them do to me. Why? I do it because it seems like a good thing to do. The alternative is surely not better. If you ask someone who is locked into a particular ... (read in full...)
Am I sell out because I like white men?
Q. Well for the past 10 years now since I was 14 yrs old, I add an attraction to White guys. Something about them turns me on so bad. I can count on one hand and 1/2 of all the Black and Latino men that I've dated. My friends and family think I'm...
A. 11 January 2009: You're no sell out. You like what you like. There is something about white guys you're attracted to. You're not saying blacks or latinos are not good enough for you, you're saying whites guys are your preference.
I'm white and married ... (read in full...)
Is it okay for your spouse to be overly jealous...?
Q. I really need some help here, I am currently in a relationship of 8 years and counting, when we first got together all was well, until I told a lie about a homey loverfriend, after the lie it seemed like there was not trust there, he began going out ...
A. 11 January 2009: What was the lie about the "homey loverfriend"? Don't you think it's importnat to let us know?... (read in full...)
How should I tell him I'm happy that he's going to be visiting?
Q. Ok here goes... I like this guy, he is really the first guy i've liked in a long time... It just started out as a little crush since he lives a few states away but travels for work, we met when he was here a year ago and have just been chatting...
A. 10 January 2009: If he likes someone else and it's not formalized, give it a shot. You have nothing to lose. He'll probably be flattered you look forward to seeing him. I would be. Just don't throw yourself at him though because if he's only interested in sex, ... (read in full...)
I love both wife and married lover!
Q. My situation is pretty complicated so i'll start in the beginning. I have been married for 17 years. I have an 11 year old son and a 17 year old daughter. I feel i have been in love with my wife since we were married but a recent relationship ...
A. 10 January 2009: When you fly by the seat of your pants, it can be a rough ride. Can you belice that this all started because you wanted to explore someone elses private parts? Imagine, all this from a whim. I need to ask you this, what did you expect to happen? ... (read in full...)
My husband is not romantic at all! Not even on our anniversary!
Q. I've been married for 6 years now, and I'm having trouble getting my husband to be romantic. I have to tell him special days and holidays are coming up just to give him hints. This drives me crazy knowing that he's not thoughful at all. Our an...
A. 10 January 2009: You are starting to build resentment. You must let him know what you need. You have to take him by the hand, sit down and spell it out to him. He has to understand completely that you are serious. If he won't, you'll have to talk to someone ... (read in full...)
Hairy chest--what do you do with it?
Q. For guys and girls... This is the first time I have dated a guy who has a really hairy chest. When getting intimate with him, besides just running my fingers through it, what else can I do? Girls, what kinds of things do you do? and Guys, what ...
A. 10 January 2009: I have a hairy chest too. I'm 45 and can't really think of anything sexy you could do to it.....maybe some cute hair clips or some lubricant to give it the salon quaffed look. You know, spiked up and sassy.......
Just kidding about that part. M... (read in full...)
My b/f got 20 women pregnant and never paid child support to any of them!
Q. I was round at my friend's house, and we were having a good chat, socialising and having fun and talking about what's in the news. The conversation went well until my friend said "Have you heard about this man who got TWENTY WOMEN pregnant and who's ...
A. 10 January 2009: This sounds strange, if it's actually true, you should feel happy you've discovered this information. The next thing I would do would be to have some STD tests done. Realize that this guy is not a man. Time is the only thing that can put some ... (read in full...)
How should I tell him I'm happy that he's going to be visiting?
Q. Ok here goes... I like this guy, he is really the first guy i've liked in a long time... It just started out as a little crush since he lives a few states away but travels for work, we met when he was here a year ago and have just been chatting...
A. 10 January 2009: I think this sounds easy. You've already made the important connection part of the relationship. You don't have to try and get his attention because you already have it. Based on what you've said, he maintains contact with you and has also let ... (read in full...)
When a guy invites you to his house is it for sex?
Q. When a guy invites a girl to his house, does that basically mean he just wants sex even though we're close friends? He's an older man (probably close to 50) if that means anything; he's not some young horny teen. I just want to know what his ...
A. 9 January 2009: The question about if he wants sex is one that can not be answered. The problem is that may men are just not opposed to sex. They can have sex when ever.... (read in full...)
What REALLY goes on at gentleman's clubs?
Q. Hello, Can anyone please please please tell me what really goes on at gentlemens clubs? I know there are dancers, but I have heard there are also side rooms, vips rooms, suites, hotel rooms, etc. that you can go and get blowjobs or sex from the ...
A. 8 January 2009: Depending on where you are, anything to not much. I haven't been in years but I do know that in this part of Canada, things happen.... (read in full...)
Too close for comfort now he tells me he's going onto the dating scene
Q. I am a married woman who has a close friendship with a single man at work. Our friendship did develop into a closeness where we felt comfortable discussing personal issues. We were attracted to each other and for a while there I felt a powerful ...
A. 8 January 2009: I don't think you can be friends because of how it started. Neither of you were looking for what the true definition of friend is. You wre more interested in romance. Don't tempt fate.... (read in full...)
Cyber-Cheating or friendship? What do you think happened?
Q. I signed up at this dating/adult site, a few months ago, out of curiousity and just to have a little fun. I messaged this guy, who's profile had a lot of similarities with my own, interests, down to even the same favorite books, quotes and songs. I ...
A. 8 January 2009: Yes, your cheating...."he lingers in my day to day..though we've had our flirtations..I like this guy a lot..I think we both see distance as a buffer for how we feel..do you think his girlfriend found out we were messaging frequently".......Do those ... (read in full...)
Cyber-Cheating or friendship? What do you think happened?
Q. I signed up at this dating/adult site, a few months ago, out of curiousity and just to have a little fun. I messaged this guy, who's profile had a lot of similarities with my own, interests, down to even the same favorite books, quotes and songs. I ...
A. 8 January 2009: Yes, your cheating...."he lingers in my day to day..though we've had our flirtations..I like this guy a lot..I think we both see distance as a buffer for how we feel..do you think his girlfriend found out we were messaging frequently".......Do those ... (read in full...)
Why did he come after me when he's married and now I'm upset!
Q. Just what does a man want in a potential mate, be it his choice to get close to a girl at work when he is married, why does he overstep into the realm of saying "i love you more than that flirtation',rub and touch on her, seek her out, ask her ...
A. 7 January 2009: He mentioned his wife because he is MARRIED. Leave him alone and your problem will end. You know what is right so get yourself out of th situation. Only you can do that.... (read in full...)
Been with my guy for a year but now there's a new guy
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year! It's been a tricky year but i have no regrets in being with him at all. But recently this new guy in the last two months has come along and i see him in the pub all the time. I cant change my pub ...
A. 7 January 2009: Just keep away. If you're allowing yourself to jump right into the trap then you don't care that much about your boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Too close for comfort now he tells me he's going onto the dating scene
Q. I am a married woman who has a close friendship with a single man at work. Our friendship did develop into a closeness where we felt comfortable discussing personal issues. We were attracted to each other and for a while there I felt a powerful ...
A. 7 January 2009: Yes, eyeswideopen is correct. You almost fell off the edge of a cliff as far as your marriage is concerned. At least you can identify all the things you did wrong. Feeling what you felt is normal, allowing it to progress is wrong. He probably or ... (read in full...)
Is she having a text message affair with this guy or is it all innocent like she says?
Q. hey guys iam new to this site and want your advice. I have a girlfriend i have been seeing for quite some few months and things have really been going well with us until recently when i went through her phone and found text msgs from a guy i had ...
A. 5 January 2009: Is it possible for you to use punctuation and spell check? It's really difficult to follow a rambling, ongoing sentence.
Anyway, I digress. In my opinion, she got caught. She wants to "go off" on the guy so she can deflect some of the negative... (read in full...)
Horny! Advertise for sex?
Q. Every month just before I get my period I fel really horny and desperate for sex. I'm single though I'd like to be in a relationship and I don't sleep around. I know that I could give myself pleasure, vibrators etc but what I really want is the real ...
A. 4 January 2009: The day a woman needs to advertise for sex is the day the world is ending !!! Women have the power to get sex any time the like. All you have to do is choose from the available men in your area. The trouble is that most women are not geared to ... (read in full...)
Is she having a text message affair with this guy or is it all innocent like she says?
Q. hey guys iam new to this site and want your advice. I have a girlfriend i have been seeing for quite some few months and things have really been going well with us until recently when i went through her phone and found text msgs from a guy i had ...
A. 4 January 2009: I would try to finish the conversation. You know ans she realizes you know. Unless you are content never knowing, finish what you started. Did she seem remorseful? Did she seem angry? What was her reaction and MOST importantly, her explanation ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: You asked me how I would respond if someone said that to me. I will be honest enough to say I would be flattered. I wouldn't run in the other direction but I would put up barriers. I would like the fact someone was attracted to me and I might ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: This is my last attempt. You say you were not flirting. When he told you there was something about you that was so cool....you liked it. That is OK. Then you said...but you're married. Of course he's going to dumb it down when you say that. ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: Re-read your original question and your follow ups. Ask yourself what your original concerns were. You wanted to know if what you did was appropriate. It sounds like you didn't get the feedback you wanted to justify your own thoughts.
Face ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: I agree with eyeswideopen on this one. The poster seems to be trying to get a certain response. I've made my point and understand what is decent. I'm not the one who said I was completely smitten with someone. Also, I haven't been cheated on but ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 3 January 2009: You have women friends who trust you enough to sleep in the same bed as their husbands. That is uncommon and different. If you know how it feels to be cheated on, why would you flirt so much with a married man?
You seem so bitter. The people t... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 2 January 2009: I don't mean to be rude but are you naive? You don't mind hanging out with his wife as long as she doesn't know the truth....That is very nice of you. It's also a total farce because every time she turned her back you'd be making googly eyes at ... (read in full...)
Is she having a text message affair with this guy or is it all innocent like she says?
Q. hey guys iam new to this site and want your advice. I have a girlfriend i have been seeing for quite some few months and things have really been going well with us until recently when i went through her phone and found text msgs from a guy i had ...
A. 2 January 2009: I guess you should tell her. You already know about it and it's not like you're going to forget she's lying to you. Don't let the resentment build up because this will get to the point where it can't be fixed. You snooped which is wrong but what ... (read in full...)
He's married - is it still possible for me to have a friendship with him?
Q. I met a (married) guy quite some time ago, and he was recently working in the town where I live in. I stopped by to see him while he was working (he asked me to). When I saw him, he seemed quite flustered when we were chatting. We were planning on ...
A. 2 January 2009: You already stepped over the line. Now you're looking for permission to go further. You know what you feel, you know what he said. "I'm completely smitten with him"...that says a lot. You actually said the words but you're not listening to the ... (read in full...)
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