Like what
he writes?
... Add *ddie to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
|
| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
|
Does my ex still care, or was her jealousy just lingering attachment?
Q. I am a couple of months out of a 3 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend. She says we lost the spark and have no chemistry anymore. I have been an emotional wreck for most of this period and my ex knows about it. A couple of weeks ago I decided ...
A. 14 October 2008: It could be either. You can only try.... (read in full...)
I talked to another guy at a party, he was entertaining and made me question my relationship with my boyfriend, what's going on?
Q. im feeling really confused just now, i've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and its been great ive never wanted to be with anyone else... he makes me feel happy just knowing he's around but the other day we were at a party and i met a ...
A. 13 October 2008: Actually, you probably did like the other guy. That is normal. It will happen again no matter who you're with. Relationships are about the big picture. It is important to see the big picture because if we ever get stuck on the small details we'd ... (read in full...)
How do I make sure I don't scare this guy off?
Q. I'm feeling tired of my marriage after 16 years. My husband and I are sleeping in separate rooms - I can't stand him touching me. We do not quarrel/argue that much - in fact, we hardly communicate. Right now, I have a crush on my young hairstyl...
A. 13 October 2008: Why don't you start by ending your marriage....or fixing it. That is the first obstacle any potential man will have to get over. Then you can do or say anything you like. Is your hair stylist in a relationship, merely uninterested, gay, shy ? ... (read in full...)
Does my ex still care, or was her jealousy just lingering attachment?
Q. I am a couple of months out of a 3 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend. She says we lost the spark and have no chemistry anymore. I have been an emotional wreck for most of this period and my ex knows about it. A couple of weeks ago I decided ...
A. 13 October 2008: It sounds like her jealousy has some lingering attachment to the fact you weren't doing nice things for her. She seems to be saying she resents the fact you went out of your way to be nice with this other woman but you gave up trying to be nice to ... (read in full...)
We are meant to be getting married but he keeps starting fights about how much sex we have. Any advice?
Q. Is there any advice for us???? I have gone from being so very very happy when my now fiance proposed to me 2 months ago to feeling like I just want to cry. Basically we had a huge argument last week which resulted in lots of screaming and shouting ...
A. 13 October 2008: I have encountered this before. I'll explain my view. It is usually the male who is trying to get more sex. Men tend to be the hunters and women are the prey.(I know it's not ALWAYS this way but it is mostly accurate)
Sex is a need. It is so... (read in full...)
Do I still love him? I take him for granted but he doesn't deserve it.
Q. I am so so confused. I just cant figure out whether i am in love with my man, or whether i just love being with him. We have been together on and off for 4 years. Recently, I have been feeling very little in the way of chemistry and sex dri...
A. 13 October 2008: It sure sounds like over thinking to me. There is probably something else in your life that is unfulfilled. He does not deserve that type of treatment either. At least you understand that. If you are going to continue to treat him this way it ... (read in full...)
Should I go to meet this guy in Europe after what might have been a simple holiday fling?
Q. I recently fell in love with a married man from a far-off land (something I personally don't approve of and yet it has happened to me!). He came for a visit a month ago to my country. I had met him five months earlier in his own country and while ...
A. 13 October 2008: I forgot to mention...happy thanksgiving...and although you don't ask a guy to change his life because of you, it's also necessary to remove yourself from the scenario. As long as you make yourself available, you're tempting him and giving him an ... (read in full...)
I hit my boyfriend as a joke, but he took it serious and he hit me back. Please, I truly need help!
Q. Well last night my boyfriend and I went to a party and got drunk. After that I hit his lower side, basically his balls. I did it in a joke a stupid one. After that he slapped me in my face and i started bleeding. I was so shocked because he never ...
A. 13 October 2008: You hit him, he reacted and hit you. You're both wrong. I'd say you're more wrong since you hit him first. He may have reacted instinctively to being hit and responded by protecting himself. Let's face it, if he hit you first and you called the ... (read in full...)
Should I go to meet this guy in Europe after what might have been a simple holiday fling?
Q. I recently fell in love with a married man from a far-off land (something I personally don't approve of and yet it has happened to me!). He came for a visit a month ago to my country. I had met him five months earlier in his own country and while ...
A. 13 October 2008: It seems you got some solid advice. I see by your reply to my comment that you didn't set out to steal someone else's husband. I totally believe you but that is what it comes down to. Most of us do not deliberately choose to be in strange ... (read in full...)
Should I go to meet this guy in Europe after what might have been a simple holiday fling?
Q. I recently fell in love with a married man from a far-off land (something I personally don't approve of and yet it has happened to me!). He came for a visit a month ago to my country. I had met him five months earlier in his own country and while ...
A. 12 October 2008: What would a person with integrity do? You said yourself that what you're doing is wrong or not something you approve of. End of story. You are making a choice to stick yourself into a situation that in inappropriate.
Sometime we need to do wh... (read in full...)
Been asked for a booty call but the "fun" only lasted for two minutes. What's up with that?
Q. Why do some guys ask for a booty call and when they get all in to it they last 2 minutes into the act and then blame it on their selfishness..What's up with that?It upsets me when they say "what wasnt I good? Did you enjoy it? Obviously the answer ...
A. 12 October 2008: Part of having sex for me is to make sure the woman is pleased. I feel bad if I get the idea I did a poor job. Most guys want to be known as someone who did it right. The only time it's really quick around my house would be if my wife is doing a ... (read in full...)
I like someone else but I have a boyfriend, is this a sign I'm unhappy in my present relationship?
Q. please help ive been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years and he is 6 years older than me so he wants the whole settling down thing im still only young and want to enjoy myself. I really fancy this guy at work i flirt with him all the ti...
A. 12 October 2008: IT all depends....you're young and perhaps you're not ready to make your final choice for a partner. You said you would "never do anything" behind your boyfriends back. The truth is that you already are. Recognizing you are attracted to someone ... (read in full...)
We had oral sex a few times, suddenly he wants to cook for me! Is he trying to charm his way into my bed?
Q. Me and this guy met a couple months ago at my friend's house and we hooked up. We met that one time and then recently, about a month ago we met again at that same friend's house. Well what do you know, we hooked up (as in, had oral sex) again. We ...
A. 11 October 2008: You've already put your genitals in each others mouths.....if he got that "just because", I can only imagine what a little charm might accomplish. Aren't you putting the cart after the horse. Who knows what he wants but it's safe to say he seems ... (read in full...)
Confused about a co-worker!
Q. I work with a woman who is married, but am confused about how she feels about me. This woman always wants to work with me, has baked lasagna for me, and even had a hand in having my office moved next to hers. We went for coffee a few times during ...
A. 11 October 2008: You didn't try hard enough to put distance between the two of you. You went out for lunch, that is not distance. You know what she wants. She needs to focus on her marriage. People like people who make them feel good. You're flattered by her ... (read in full...)
By the time I realized what was happening, I had fallen in love! Will she leave him?
Q. Please someone help me, I don’t know what to do. I was married for 14 years with 2 beautiful girls and I had everything. I thought I had it all.... I worked with this woman who was a really good person and we just clicked, we had so much in commo...
A. 11 October 2008: It seems she is not a prepared as you were to give up her marriage. Why do you trust her? You love her but why do you trust her? What will happen the next time that either of you become attracted to another person. Will either of you cheat ... (read in full...)
Married but in love with another man...help
Q. Ok here goes.... I'm 42 and I got married 4 years ago, to Bill, for all the wrong reasons. I had been single for about 5 years and trying to take care of two teenage girls on my own. I really convinced myself that even though there wasn't alot of ...
A. 11 October 2008: I think you're making a common mistake. This other guy is not your friend. It amazes me how people throw that label around. He was your lover and presently he's the guy you're cheating on your husband with. That is not a friend. Even though ... (read in full...)
I get no affection from my husband any more...
Q. I'm at a loss, my husband and I have been together for 4 years and married for 16 months lately no matter what i do i dont get any affection anymore i have spoken to him about it on many occasions he blames it on the fact that his family wasnt very ...
A. 11 October 2008: One thing is certain...you can not let resentment grow. IT will silently destroy your marriage. You should probably talk to your partner and get some counseling. Many people wait too long and the resentment grows out of control. At that point ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but I am attracted to my married friend, I want to forget about him but I also want to kiss him!?
Q. Please any advice would help me right now!! I am 21 and have been living with Boyfriend for the last few months, but i have met someone who i like more than what i should. I have always said it doesn't matter how happy you are with your p...
A. 11 October 2008: First of all you need to understand one thing, this other guy is not your friend. You like each other in a way that is more than you like your other friends. He is someone you're attracted to. That is the first thing you need to be honest about. ... (read in full...)
How do I find a way to love my sister-in-law in an appropriate way?
Q. I am struggling with my relationship with my wife's sister. I have been with my wife for ten years. We are happily married, in that we love and support one another and are united in our goals and hopes. We have some minor disagreements and ...
A. 7 October 2008: Sexual attractions are everywhere. To that I'd say...so what? I find my sister in law attractive too, the woman next door, my cousin etc. It means nothing. What we do with our feelings is the most important.... (read in full...)
How do I find a way to love my sister-in-law in an appropriate way?
Q. I am struggling with my relationship with my wife's sister. I have been with my wife for ten years. We are happily married, in that we love and support one another and are united in our goals and hopes. We have some minor disagreements and ...
A. 6 October 2008: She can never be just a friend because of the boundaries you've already crossed. I'd bet as far as your wife would be concerned you might just have well done it all. Do not try to kid yourself and put this deceitful encounter up on a pedestal as ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my sister that her husband made a move on me? If so, how?
Q. Yesterday, I was so tired and my sister and her hubby arrived to the hospital to see my step-dad. So my sister said, go home and rest. We'll stay here for couple of hours. So her hubby, hates the hospital and he offered to take me home. So i was li...
A. 6 October 2008: He made a move on you and that is wrong. You're wrong and too old to be playing touchy feely games with another man. It sounds like you're way to comfortable with him. I don't really know too many people your age who do the riding on the back ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a friendship with a married guy like this?
Q. Two years ago, I made a business deal with a military base near Nebraska. One of the guys was pretty friendly with me, he was rather flirty to the extent of making me feel he liked me. I felt like chemistry like I had with no one in my life ...
A. 5 October 2008: It is wrong. It's wrong because of the vibe you felt with him. You felt the vibe because he was trying to do or say things he thought you'd like to hear. As a human we do enjoy the company of people who make us feel good. That is natural. As a ... (read in full...)
Do you think its right?!
Q. ok well here's the thing, I'm gay right! I have a boyfriend who I been with for 1 year and 5 months. We live together and currently planning our wedding! I have one problem with him?! My problem with him is that he tells me that his family and ...
A. 5 October 2008: Que pasa boriqua...un consejo para ti....If you are looking for someone to be romantic and you feel the need to be loved that way then this may not be the man for you. You see, when you become married, that person becomes your family. That person ... (read in full...)
If a college girl spends nights nude in bed with her boyfriend, and gives him handjobs, but no sex, would she be thought of as a slut?
Q. If a college girl spends nights nude in bed with her boyfriend, and gives him handjobs, but no sex, would she be thought of as a slut?...
A. 5 October 2008: Why do you ask this question?... (read in full...)
If I had a way out, I'd take it!
Q. I have been Married for 10 years, and we dated for 8 before. If I had a way out I would take it, but with 2 kids and a faltering economy, I can't see a way. Some of this is finance, we live with seperate checkbooks, he doesn't have accses t...
A. 5 October 2008: It sounds like you need to get into couples therapy. You' sound as if you're on the road to disaster. I've never understood the separate paycheck thing. We've always lived out of the same pot of money, for the most part. We've always tried to ... (read in full...)
Am I going into this FWB thing with the right mindset?
Q. So I met this guy and I just want to know if I am going into this FWB thing with the right mindset...really, all I want is someone to mess around with and stuff, maybe occassionally cuddle afterwards. I mean, a boyfriend would be nice but at this ...
A. 5 October 2008: I don't know too many guys that want to cuddle with a woman they don't love. Personally, I wouldn't want to cuddle with someone who didn't love me. That is something you do with someone who desires you completely.
Sex is sex. Don't forget t... (read in full...)
If a guy's fiancee makes out topless with another guy, is she cheater? Is she immoral?
Q. If a guy's fiance makes out topless with another guy in his bed when her fiance lives in another part of the state, is she a cheater? A s__t??...
A. 5 October 2008: Unless you're in an open relationship, I'd think she was less than committed to the relationship with her fiancee. What is the story behind the question?... (read in full...)
I'm wondering what walks of life the aunts and uncles come from?
Q. Dear posters, I think its wonderful to have people from different walks of life, to be able to come here and look at others situations with a different set of eyes. its great! On to my question, I was left wondering what each and every one of you...
A. 4 October 2008: Looks like I forgot to use Spellcheck.....sorry... (read in full...)
I'm wondering what walks of life the aunts and uncles come from?
Q. Dear posters, I think its wonderful to have people from different walks of life, to be able to come here and look at others situations with a different set of eyes. its great! On to my question, I was left wondering what each and every one of you...
A. 4 October 2008: I'm born and raised in Canada. I've lived hee all my life except for a year in the caribbean. I live very close to the city of Niagara Falls and right along the border with the USA. I'm married to and American for 23 years and have two children, ... (read in full...)
Should my wife mourn me for the rest of her life or move on? I'm terminally ill.
Q. I don't know how to start, but I've been diagnosed with a 'potentialy terminal illness'. There is about a 50% chance I won't live more than a year. If I go into remission, then I guess we take it month by month from there on. We have 3 kids, alm...
A. 4 October 2008: I hope you live a long life. As for the spouse who survives the death of a partner, it is impossible to make truthful promises. I would imagine that the healthy spouse would be inclined to say the things they think the sick spouse would most want ... (read in full...)
I told myself that I would never mention marriage to him again, but at the same time, I don't really want to help pay for a house that is only in his name... what do I do here for the best?
Q. I have been living w/ my boyfriend for 2 yrs. We have been renting. He is now working on getting a loan for a house (to buy) and we have started house hunting. He has been talking about putting the house in his name only. I don't really care for...
A. 4 October 2008: I see that the problem is yours. You may not like what he has said but he's been honest. He told you he is not committed to a long term promise at this point. You asked him and he answered. As for the house, you have to pay to live somewhere. ... (read in full...)
My husband and I argue a lot over small things. What can we do?
Q. My husband and I argue alot over small things. He has been getting frustrated with me because I drive fast to get from point A to point B. I run out of gas quick, but its because I drove too quick and burn up gas alot. When he drives my car, he ...
A. 4 October 2008: Don't drive too fast. There, that problem was solved very easily. As far as taking the car away, what makes him the boss? Who gives him the power to determine who has access to the car?
I've worked the night shift too. I hated every minute o... (read in full...)
Do you think guys can grow on you or that if there's no instant attraction there never will be????
Q. I've been on a few dates with a guy. He seems sweet but I've not felt any real attraction. He's quite good looking and ticks a lot of the boxes - he's intelligent, got a good job, sporty etc but for some reason I've not felt a real spark. He's ...
A. 4 October 2008: Oddly enough, all the good points you mention about the guy you're dating are the things that become most important as a relationship matures. The physical spark does diminish somewhat (usually) and that's when we learn what's really valuable. ... (read in full...)
My husband acts like I cheated when I didn't! How do I get him to stop pushing me away?
Q. I've been with my husband for 17 years and married for 15. During our relationship I have always been honest and faithful and gone through a lot with him. In the past, he has given me many reasons not to trust him but still, I stayed and moved on. ...
A. 30 September 2008: I agree with the other male reply. All your husband has to base his opinion on are your lies. Worst of all, you lied about another man. You may of had a reason not to tell but what male/female relationship could be more important than the one ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife or not?
Q. I'm not sure how far to push this, or if I should leave my wife or not. I'm really pissed off, not only at what she did, but her attitude that it was no big deal. That just makes me think she will do something like this again. We got married, and...
A. 30 September 2008: Is this for real?... (read in full...)
I dislike girlfriend going out clubbing until 4 am with her male friends, is this unreasonable?
Q. hi, hope someone will help, been with my gf nearly 2 years and we both left long term partners to get together.she's 22 i'm 28. where as i have stopped going out much without her except mainly cos i dont want to, but she still goes out clubbin...
A. 28 September 2008: You can't stop someone from doing as they please. You can reason with them and make your case but you can't control her. In the end, if you had to go to drastic measures to control someone, you shouldn't be with that person. As your partner, she ... (read in full...)
We are having an affair, I got divorced recently and she is in an unhappy marriage, I realised I love her, your opinions?
Q. Hello All. I never thought I'd fall for a married woman since I 'KNOW' how wrong this is. However, I realized that it is possible even when you're 30 y.o to fall hardly for someone regardless of that they're married. The thing is that she's falli...
A. 28 September 2008: You may have a connection but what you're both doing is wrong. End one relationship before starting another. Period. You can paint however you like to make it seem OK, it's not.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to be upset with her for "what I call" a bad decision to a quick fix from her failed past relationship?
Q. I am currently married to 2nd wife, who had her tubes cut and burnt a few years back due to the relationship she was in. I do have one son from divorce, and she has one from her ex-boyfriend, who is not involved at all in his life. After a coup...
A. 27 September 2008: You're probably angry with yourself. You sound a little controlling to me. You might not like what she did in the past but it is none of your business. You knew all this when you married her. It is her body and she made a choice, live with it. ... (read in full...)
In a bad marriage, but have a "male" friend
Q. I am in a bad marriage and recently met this single guy and we have become "friends". We seem to be drawn to each other.He always praises me to my colleagues and we talk a lot. Recently we went to a business meeting and afterwards we sat in our ...
A. 27 September 2008: I can see why you're confused. The answer is in you though. You're not just "friends". You're looking for something else. And when you're sitting in the car with him, you're not exchanging recipes and discussing needle point. You're nurturing a ... (read in full...)
My husband is texting a female colleague frequently, he says it's work-related. Should I be suspicious?
Q. hi, my partner keeps texting a woman from his work, i have seen his phone bill and he has replied 250 texts in one month to her, should i be suspicious? he says he was only asking for her help at work when he didn't know how to do something....
A. 27 September 2008: You should keep your eyes open. Having said that, having young adult children, I know that texing is huge. The packages they sell for cell phones offer thousands of texts per month. What kind of work do they do? Maybe they flirt, maybe the... (read in full...)
She told me she met a friend to tell him not to contact her, but I discovered they are still talking. Any thoughts?
Q. hi. my girlfriend kept a secret meeting from me a while ago. she says she was visiting an aunty. so i thought nothing of it. then i found out it was some guy. not a date, friends. i didnt believe her. she told him not to contact her. this was in ...
A. 21 September 2008: Well you know she's is not telling the truth. What do you have to lose by telling her what information you have? You don't have to tell her how you know, just that you know. If she is actually guilty she doesn't really have much to stand on. By ... (read in full...)
| *ddie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ddie has
added them and they have added *ddie!
|
