A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a married woman who has been experiencing some turmoils in my relationship. I met this single man through work and we had an instant connection. He has been a wonderful listener of all my problems and I sense a strong interest from his side although he has never verbalised this. He has told me that I am attractive and would have no problems finding men if I were single. Do you think we can continue our friendship or is this dangerous waters.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers. It has really helped me clarify the situation. I guess sometimes the lure of the "new" is very powerful and can turn into something positive but that is a decision to be taken after much consideration.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (31 December 2008):
 48years said it all. I'd like to ad that you always need to be careful in these situations. The single party has nothing to lose and nothing invested. It's a shot in the dark for him and a huge gamble for you. He's hoping for the chance to bed another man's wife and you're leaving the door open a crack because you enjoy his flattery. You are allowing yourself to do this because it feels good and you have not physically crossed the line. Even thought you may not have any bad intentions, the fact you need to ask this question should tell you something. Your heart tells you to seek his friendship but your head puts up a red flag. The truth is he's not looking for a "friend". He's hoping for something else.
You know what he wants and you know the boundaries. Reality is that there ware always going to be other men you connect with. People start new relationships all the time. What happens if you leave your spouse, start up with the new guy and then meet another guy two years from now? Do you leave spouse number two?
That is why we have to keep our current relationships fresh. That is why we need to invest time in what we have and value the bonds we've created with our partners. Old relationships might not have the highs of a new union but they offer comfort that has a great value too. That comfort, history and memories can only come from time.
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A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (31 December 2008):
 I've been in your shoes (size 9 1/2) many times. Yes, you are enjoying the flattery...Yes ,you are in danger. Your marriage is in danger.We seduce men through their eyes. We are seduced by our ears. "A wonderful listener to all of your problems" is wanting you for more than conversation. The danger is that this man will seduce you...he already has emotionally....and you will lose your own self respect.Please be wary ....and if you find yourself not sharing your "innocent" conversations with you husband, know that you are in the serpent's lair.
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