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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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Should I trust my wife's decisions?
Q. Ok where do I start? We are coming up on our 1 year anniversary. Now my wife was raised by men. Her father guy cousins and older brother. She was always more of a tomboy. I understand all this, but my problem there lies within. Her best fri...
A. 11 April 2009: I don't know if you're being too pushy but what is the difference? If you don't mind the fact she goes out, why does it bother you when you're at work? Anything she wants to accomplish she can accomplish before 4 or 5 AM even when you're home.
... (read in full...)
My fiance is a foreigner, and I have found out he is married!
Q. I have been in a relationship for quite along time now and we have recently engaged he is of foreign nationality. I have recently discovered various things i didn't know about him eg: marriage of possible convenience for status. I don't know wha...
A. 10 April 2009: It doesn't sound like a great way to begin a life relationship. Sometimes though, when people come from places of hardship, they may be more inclined to see the big picture. They may be more willing to do things that we've never even considered. ... (read in full...)
My FWB blurted out the "L" word. Should I just try to forget it or what?
Q. I've had a FWB relationship going on now for about 8 months. He is aware that I have seen other people...and I know he is too. My problem is that I have extremely intense feelings for him. I know he is aware of my feelings to a point. I have thou...
A. 10 April 2009: Why don't you look at the good side of this and accept that you've found someone to love. Many people spend a lifetime trying to find someone to love. What are you afraid of? What are you hiding from? ... (read in full...)
She has a nude picture of her ex in her phone. What do I do?
Q. My girlfriend has recently been away to visit someone with a friend (You may note the person she went to see is an ex sexual partner). Our relationship has been a bit rocky recently and she said she needed to get away for a few days, which i agre...
A. 10 April 2009: If you were innocently getting some pictures from her phone, tell her what you found. The explanation shoul dbe interesting. How does one get a nude picture of someone on their phone? ... (read in full...)
Should I trust my wife's decisions?
Q. Ok where do I start? We are coming up on our 1 year anniversary. Now my wife was raised by men. Her father guy cousins and older brother. She was always more of a tomboy. I understand all this, but my problem there lies within. Her best fri...
A. 10 April 2009: I tend to think those are not great situations. It all sounds Ok until something happens. Nothing has happened "yet". It may never actually h appen either but the ground work is being laid for a potential problem. Can you talk to her about this ... (read in full...)
My fiance is a foreigner, and I have found out he is married!
Q. I have been in a relationship for quite along time now and we have recently engaged he is of foreign nationality. I have recently discovered various things i didn't know about him eg: marriage of possible convenience for status. I don't know wha...
A. 10 April 2009: What event did he lie about?... (read in full...)
Why do I need to respect their circumstances - if they themselves don't show it?
Q. Hi Peoples, After I broke up with my girlfriend who cheated on me, I've found I have only been with girls that have been in relationships. Either they have cheated or broken up with their boyfriends to be with me. This has been the case now for...
A. 9 April 2009: You need to repsect other peoples relationships because it is the moral thing to do. I don't mean from a religous angle either. There is a scale of good and bad in this world. We are judged on how we balance on this scale of life.
Do you want... (read in full...)
What impact do you think that your answers have had on someone? Is it possible that an answer on this site has changed someone's life?
Q. My fellow aunts, I would like to know if you all ever wonder about this. What impact do you think that your answers have had on someone? Is it possible that an answer on this site has changed someone's life? I'm asking out of curiosity. I of...
A. 7 April 2009: My answers are spectacular....... ;) Just kidding.....
I'd like to think that some anwers do help. Sometimes they may come across as a little harsh but sometimes people need to hear the truth. The difficult thing is that we never really k... (read in full...)
I keep hearing rumors at work that my fiance is cheating
Q. I keep hearing rumors at work that my fiance is cheating. i confronted him about it he said it didn't happen. but i found a letter from her. and one he had given her. she even sent me pics that he had even taken of his dick. i need help. we have ...
A. 4 April 2009: Based on what you've heard and what you've found, they don't sound like rumours. You found a picture of his penis that he gave to another woman? If that is not innapropriate, what is? ... (read in full...)
Husband flirting with all other women
Q. recently went to a party with my husband he spent the whole night ignoring me and flirting obviously with another married woman there.The minute she left he came straight back to me(after aprox 3 hours)and couldn't understand why I was mad.Was I ...
A. 1 April 2009: What is your definition of flirting?... (read in full...)
Follow up: I'm interested in knowing what you think about me spilling the beans
Q. I had asked a question a couple of months ago and wow you all had it sooooooooo right! I'd been with a man (married w/sick wife) for over 8 years who swore up and down he was gona be with me....... Well, I found out through his "friend" that not ...
A. 1 April 2009: Why would you spill the beans? Have you not learned that you were just as gulity as he was? You knew all along that what you were doing was wrong. So, in order to seek some sort of revenge you'd love to break the other womans heart??? It seems ... (read in full...)
I told him that I do like him but that doesn't mean anything is going to happen
Q. Hi.I am happily married but am feeling very confused as i am concerned that a married man who i am friendly with may like me a little more than he should. He has done things that make me think this such as being quite shy with me at times, and at o...
A. 1 April 2009: Unfortunately, because you know he has feeling for you it is a bit of a tricky situation. Once that card is played you know where he's coming from. As long as you're not giving him false hope and he is behaving it's not such a big deal. His wife ... (read in full...)
I told him that I do like him but that doesn't mean anything is going to happen
Q. Hi.I am happily married but am feeling very confused as i am concerned that a married man who i am friendly with may like me a little more than he should. He has done things that make me think this such as being quite shy with me at times, and at o...
A. 1 April 2009: What dod you mean by "you like him" ? Can you expand on that?... (read in full...)
My friends say I shouldn't close the door on other countries, but I just don't feel attraction for non-latinos.
Q. If you're an American, white woman who is 29 (or older) but love latin culture... what are the chances that you'll find someone who will be not only latino, but be faithful, true and love you too much to ever break your heart? For years, I...
A. 30 March 2009: There are good people in all cultures. there are also certain traits that are more prevelant in all cultures. Cheating in the latin culture, in my experience is more prevalent. I am married to a hispanic woman and I've lived in her country. I ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat?
Q. I have been in a relationship for over ten years. This man has nothing to offer but child care. He is extremely selfish. He has been unemployed for over three years. Refuse to work under any circumstances. He complains when ever he do a chore and ...
A. 29 March 2009: Find your new man when you're done with the old one. If you've put up with this for this long it is partially your fault. Don't lose face by being a cheater. Get your job and then leave with your head held high./ ... (read in full...)
After 30 years friendship turns sexual?
Q. I have been having a very platonic relationship with a man for over 30 years..we are very very close and he has never once made a pass at me..or disrepected me. Only recently I realize that I am crazy in love with him and we kissed and made love. I ...
A. 29 March 2009: I'm not sure I agree with the last post. I think you've already cheated on your husband. There is no "if" here. You said you kissed and made love. Wondering who is more pleasing while making love is meaningless. there is always someone else who ... (read in full...)
Getting Over Your Girlfriend's Sexual History: How I Did It
Q. All right, damn it. I've dealt with this stuff in the past and finally got over it. Took me a long, long, long time, but in the end, I did it. However, in my quest for answers, examining my inner thoughts and societal views, talking to both male ...
A. 15 March 2009: It is a very interesting article. You do sound a little bitter though, I hope not. I have to agree with one point in particular. I like the analogy you've made. It's the part about giving away the $100. It is true.
... (read in full...)
Need Help,Wife spoketo ex lover and its killing me!
Q. Hello everyone and thanks in advance for the help....I am a 36 yr old male and my wife of 12 years (been married 12-together 17) is also 36. We have two kids and up until last week i thought a very good realationship. Here is my situation. I ca...
A. 14 March 2009: In these modern times of technology it's very easy to fall into these traps. There are lots of possibilities, especially with people searching others out on the Internet. this situation could have unfolded in many ways.
Lets assume she is m... (read in full...)
I neglected him and now my husband refuses to help me solve our problems!...
Q. I have been married for 25 years. We were the couple every one wanted to be like. We have always been in love, a deep passionate love to the core of our souls. As the kids got older and their behavior as teenagers got out of control, we began to ...
A. 4 March 2009: I think it's a common problem. Men quite often get put on the back burner. Unfortunately a lot of resentment builds if it's not caught early enough. If you did treat him this way, then I suppose the only thing you could do is apologize and beg ... (read in full...)
When do you draw a line when it comes to cheating?
Q. What constitues cheating? Some friends of ours got into a heated argument with my wife and I about what is cheating. Besides the obvious physical sexual contact, or emotional attachment to someone other than your spouse, what is cheating? 2 e...
A. 4 March 2009: It all depends on the boundaries you make in the relationship. A person knows when they're involved in something that is wrong. Lets face it, attractions happen. They are natural. There are plenty of women I find very attractive but I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Should my wife go out with our friend alone and talk to him?
Q. My wife and I are both asking this. My wife is a teacher and in the same district for 3 years now. This past year they hired a new teacher. He is male and about 3 or 4 years younger than us. He is having a real bad time teaching this year. My wi...
A. 2 March 2009: Why don't they meet at your house? You don't have to sit by their side and listen but she can certainly offer her support that way. If he declines her offer then he is not really that interested in her thoughts. If her opinion is that valuable, ... (read in full...)
Is texting another person with flirty messages when both parties are married considered 'cheating'?
Q. Could readers please give their opinion. Is texting another person with flirty messages when both parties are married considered 'cheating'? My husband says it's just a stupid game to relieve boredom (yes you've guessed, he's the texter and I ...
A. 2 March 2009: It would depend on the context of the texts. You didn't give much detail. Can you elaborate? If you are the jealous type then it's possible you see things where there is nothing. If you're not the jealous type, there may be nothing or there may ... (read in full...)
Why does he ejaculate so quickly?
Q. me and my fiance have sex at least 8 times a day why does he release so quickly?...
A. 25 February 2009: You have sex 8 times a day......Really?... (read in full...)
Am I a crazy mom?
Q. Hello, I've been married 16 years. I was pressured into this marriage, and it's always been rocky. But I've chosen to make the best of things. My husband is an o.k. guy, but he has a temper and tends to take his anger out on me and teenage kids. ...
A. 22 February 2009: Then go for help. Your resentment has peaked for whatever reason. If you get an outside opinion, and include your husband, at least you tried. Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees and our own opinions are jaded. Don't give up yet and ... (read in full...)
Am I a crazy mom?
Q. Hello, I've been married 16 years. I was pressured into this marriage, and it's always been rocky. But I've chosen to make the best of things. My husband is an o.k. guy, but he has a temper and tends to take his anger out on me and teenage kids. ...
A. 22 February 2009: Have you considered going to counselling, as a couple or by yourself? Perhaps even as a family. If you truly believe that your husband is not a bad guy it's possible you could save the marriage/family unit.
Since I don't know you personal... (read in full...)
Can anyone understand why my b/f makes such loud strange noises?
Q. I have tried to understand and am at a loss. Please help me if you can add any insight. My boyfriend is a wonderful person and seems very loving and compassionate. But... Sometimes he scares me. He will vocalize very loud at strange times. Such as ...
A. 21 February 2009: I guess it depends on how this appears to an outsider. IT could also be true that you are growing tired of each other and all the little idiosycrancies he always had are magnified and really bothering you.... (read in full...)
How can I walk away from my best friend, my married BF?
Q. I'm a single mom of two children.. I've been seeing a married man for almost 3 years. I used to be ok with the relationship, because it was not like most "affairs"..he just had two women that he shared equally. Now things have come to a stand ...
A. 17 February 2009: Before you can move on in a positive way you have to feel bad about what happened and accept you made bad choices. Do you see my point? If you do not accept that you were not meant to be with this guy, based on the part that he's married, you ... (read in full...)
He had a fling with her while we were going through a rough patch...I forgive him but forgetting will be harder!
Q. My husband and I have been married 10 years and together 12years. We have 2 girls aged 8 and 4.Yesterday when I picked up our post there was a valentine card from a woman he knew at work about 5 years ago.He could see I was a bit taken back by this ...
A. 15 February 2009: Why is she still sending him Valentines cards?... (read in full...)
I'm bedding my best friend's daughter. How do I get out of this?
Q. Today was the 6th morning I've woke up with my very good friend's daughter in my bed. It all started when she was shopping for a car. He, not being mechanically inclined, asked me to go with her and make sure she was not getting a piece of junk. I ...
A. 15 February 2009: A guy goes to the doctor and says...."Doctor, it hurts when I do this" The doctor says..."stop doing that!"
I guess we won't see eye to eye on this. When I find myself doing something really off track, I stop. As for ego boosts, it may be an eg... (read in full...)
I'm bedding my best friend's daughter. How do I get out of this?
Q. Today was the 6th morning I've woke up with my very good friend's daughter in my bed. It all started when she was shopping for a car. He, not being mechanically inclined, asked me to go with her and make sure she was not getting a piece of junk. I ...
A. 15 February 2009: I'm the one who used the word traitor. I'm sorry if you found it on the heavy side but you did betray your friend. I'm almost 46 and have a daughter almost 20. The thought of one of my middle aged, chubby, balding pals ogling and touching her is ... (read in full...)
I'm bedding my best friend's daughter. How do I get out of this?
Q. Today was the 6th morning I've woke up with my very good friend's daughter in my bed. It all started when she was shopping for a car. He, not being mechanically inclined, asked me to go with her and make sure she was not getting a piece of junk. I ...
A. 15 February 2009: You are a traitor. There are certain boundaries we don't cross. There is no sexual encounter worth the amount of honour you've sacrificed. This brief moment in your life is something you'll have to carry for ever. ... (read in full...)
Normal? He wants bj twice a day?
Q. My boyfriend wants me to do bj for him twice everyday(at least once,but doesn't have to make him cum though), if we ever see each other in that day(we don't live together). I just want to know is it normal for guys or it's just he has too much ...
A. 14 February 2009: Sure, a guy can want a blow job often. I mean it's not like getting stuck in the eye with a hot poker !! The fact is though, most of us men muster the courage to go on without getting fellatio twice a day. Is it abnormal to want sex...no. Is it ... (read in full...)
How can I walk away from my best friend, my married BF?
Q. I'm a single mom of two children.. I've been seeing a married man for almost 3 years. I used to be ok with the relationship, because it was not like most "affairs"..he just had two women that he shared equally. Now things have come to a stand ...
A. 14 February 2009: You should make better choices. Did his wife know about you? You Should learn from the mistake you made and stay away from situations that you shouldn't be involved in. No matter what you hoped for you started on the wrong foot. I'll say it ... (read in full...)
Dumped my married man and now, he hates the sight of me!
Q. I recently broke it off with a married man whom i was seeing for 7 years and we have a 5 yo child. Since now, he can't stand me, he lies to his wife and family saying I'm calling his phone and playing with it up, telling me need to get a man. He ...
A. 14 February 2009: In reality this is a rotten situation. You both were playing a deceitful game based on poor choices. It's difficult for anyone to rationalize such behaviour. ... (read in full...)
FWB--I want him to say he wants to be in a committed relationship!
Q. Last week I wrote a question about my fwb. I have a hard time understanding him. This afternoon I called him up to see what he had planned for the weekend. He then asked where I was and I told him I was at the office finishing up some work. He ...
A. 14 February 2009: You need to understand what FWB means . It's another one of those arrangements that actually goes against our deepest feelings. It's like swinging. Some people think they can handle it but jealousy often creeps in to the situation. When you play ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing a married man! Should I stop?
Q. I am seeing a married man and I am in love with him. He is love with me but cant leave his wife right now because of his business and financial resonsibilities. Hes afraid if he gets a divorce she will try to take his business, and destroy him ...
A. 14 February 2009: He is a cheater and you are an accomplice. Neither role is very admirable. Don't leave him because of his indecision, leave him because you are both caught up in a web of deceit. He's told you why he will not leave his wife. Contrary to what ... (read in full...)
A moment of weakness...
Q. My husband of 9 years just sat me down the other day, and told me that 6 years ago he had a moment of weakness and with a co workder pulled over in a parking lot and and pulled his pants down, and before anything could happen the cops pulled up and ...
A. 11 February 2009: It sounds as though he's been torturing himself over this. Obviously you're important to him. If you were not important to him he would not have been suffering. The fact he suffered indicates he knows it was wrong. I don't know what else you ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my wife give me her password, I gave her mine!
Q. My wife recently brought home her laptop from work. I asked her if she would bring up her email acccount, and she refused. I caught her having an emotional affair last May and wanted to make sure that nothing was still going on. I'm still having ...
A. 8 February 2009: I think when a person is caught having an affair, of any type, part of the price they pay, if they choose to remain with their spouse, is complete transparency. It's like parole, you have to report to the officer and play by the rules. The reason ... (read in full...)
Do men in theirs forties stay over night at their mum's place on weekend?
Q. Do men in theirs forties stay over night at their mums place on weekend? i am going out with 46yr old man for a few weeks now he always seems to be busy on a saturday when i questioned him about it he said his normally busy (shopping, seein...
A. 8 February 2009: While there is nothing wrong with him staying at his mother's once in a while, it does sound a little too "carved in stone". The part about not being able to reach him is the part I find the most odd.... (read in full...)
Men's biggest turn on that women don't know about
Q. Hi guys its blue kev from girls ask guys. Guys we all know about the kind of woman we dream about and the kind of woman we meet in real life. How many times have we dreamed of a girl saying three simple words. I Like you. And she kinda floats like ...
A. 8 February 2009: I like to feel needed or valued as a "man". Men have a built in need to feel like the provider. Even if it is not totally true, we still like to be valued for our male contribution. For instance, if I spent all day building a fence in the ... (read in full...)
Is hubby contemplating an affair?
Q. I have been having a "gut" feeling that my husband is getting a little too close to one of his secretaries...I recently found numerous of personal texts to her from him and vice versa. Nothing real out the ordinary yet...but i feel it's getting a ...
A. 5 February 2009: You've made your point. Since I don't know you or your history it's a tricky situation. You could be an overly jealous person. He could be cheating. Nobody really knows for sure. But, you have made your point.
Unfortunately we can never co... (read in full...)
Is it OK to sleep with another man's wife?
Q. Is it o.k to sleep with another mans wife. I have a married wowan friend at work who has expressed a wish to sleep with me, she has given me details of her marriage woe's etc. I admit she is very attractive. My ex wife cheated on me with my best ...
A. 4 February 2009: There are good choices and bad choices. This is not a good choice. You know it but you're looking approval to do it anyway. What would be a valid reason to do it? there is not one, unless you're only interested in what feels good in the moment. ... (read in full...)
I kissed another guy, how can I get my boyfriend to trust me again?
Q. I have made the biggest mistake of my life! I have a bf who i admit we have had our problems but yesterday i cheated on him and kissed another guy! It didnt even feel right. I confessed to him today and he is completely beside himself. He says he ...
A. 4 February 2009: He needs time because as of yesterday, you are no longer trustworthy. That is the what happens when you behave this way. What happened? How did the kiss happen? Who was the guy?... (read in full...)
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