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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I think my husband only wants me for sex
Q. Okay, I'm a 29 year old female, married, and have a 2 year old. I feel like all my husband wants from me is sex and when I don't want to he pouts. Being a new mother I'm tired all the time and he always wants to when I'm ready for bed. I've told him ...
A. 13 December 2009: I'm not arguing with you. I'd suggest again that youve reached the point where you are frustrated. You spoke of "it's get hard not to act on impulses" and you mentioned you can sit around and talk or play cards etc. That was the big red flag for ... (read in full...)
I think my husband only wants me for sex
Q. Okay, I'm a 29 year old female, married, and have a 2 year old. I feel like all my husband wants from me is sex and when I don't want to he pouts. Being a new mother I'm tired all the time and he always wants to when I'm ready for bed. I've told him ...
A. 10 December 2009: It really doesn't matter who the other guy is or how you kow him. What matters is what your feeling about him. You have to fix the problem in your marriage or at least let him kow how bad it is. Stop with the other guy though.... (read in full...)
I think my husband only wants me for sex
Q. Okay, I'm a 29 year old female, married, and have a 2 year old. I feel like all my husband wants from me is sex and when I don't want to he pouts. Being a new mother I'm tired all the time and he always wants to when I'm ready for bed. I've told him ...
A. 6 December 2009: It sounds like you're lacking something in your relationship. You should try to get some professional help for you and your husband.
Let's start with this "friend" you've developed feelings for. Stay away from him. He is no longer only a friend... (read in full...)
My theory is that all men exaggerate, so most women have no idea what size penis they are having sex with.
Q. may seem like an odd post. My girlfriend keeps going on and on about how massive my penis is. but its not its average. its 6" long and 5.4" girth. She says it all the time and if she holds it in two hands she laughs and says god its massive. ...
A. 5 December 2009: I think many men would be crushed if they truly knew how little time women actually spend thinking about their partners penis. Unlike men who can spend incredible amounts of time thinking about womens parts. There in lies one of the fundamental ... (read in full...)
Rumour has it he left his wife and children for me, but I hardly know him!
Q. I started working at my current job at the beginning of the year. This is my first job after university. I am a fairly open and friendly person and am friendly towards all the people I work with. This has led to one of the men at work to develop a ...
A. 5 December 2009: Are you a male or female?... (read in full...)
I am hoping he will change his mind
Q. I started dating a guy who admitted from the beginning that he wasnt ready for a committed relationship with a single mother. We thought we could see each other and find a middle ground. Recently he decided that he didnt think us seeing each other ...
A. 5 December 2009: He is entitled to his opinion and you're entitled to yours. You come as a package and your priority has to be the child. When you meet someone who truly is worthy of your love, it will be someone who accepts you and your child. This does not make ... (read in full...)
My naked neighbour!
Q. I live next door to a young woman who walks around naked in her house. She is very fit and has every reason to be proud of her body, I guess, but she keeps the windows open for the whole neighborhood to see her. This has upset me a lot especially ...
A. 29 November 2009: What is the issue? Unless you're peeping too, you only catch quick moment of her passing by the window. I also agree that the issue is more related to your husbands cheating from the past. Are you surprised that he is tempted to see a naked ... (read in full...)
Why do I think the grass might be greener on the other side of the fence?
Q. I have a loving girlfriend of many years. She goes out of her way to treat me great and always does nice things for me. But lately, I am extremely enticed by some of the other women I randomly interact with. What is wrong with me?...
A. 29 November 2009: Sorry, I forgot to add my standard line here...."the grass is greenest where you water it" If you make the effort at home, that's where the good grass will grow. ... (read in full...)
Why do I think the grass might be greener on the other side of the fence?
Q. I have a loving girlfriend of many years. She goes out of her way to treat me great and always does nice things for me. But lately, I am extremely enticed by some of the other women I randomly interact with. What is wrong with me?...
A. 29 November 2009: There is nothing wrong with you for feeling attraction. You're supposed to feel it. It won't be the lasst time either. The tricky part is to maintain your number one relationship at a level that makes those other attractions pale in comparison to ... (read in full...)
Why do I think the grass might be greener on the other side of the fence?
Q. I have a loving girlfriend of many years. She goes out of her way to treat me great and always does nice things for me. But lately, I am extremely enticed by some of the other women I randomly interact with. What is wrong with me?...
A. 29 November 2009: There is nothing wrong with you for feeling attraction. You're supposed to feel it. It won't be the lasst time either. The tricky part is to maintain your number one relationship at a level that makes those other attractions pale in comparison to ... (read in full...)
I want to be friends with my married lovers step son
Q. i`m a widow of almost 10 months i have been seeing a married man for about 4 months we have kept a low profile as far as his family is concerned, (no small children)now he is telling me he loves me and i believe him, he also states his wife is ...
A. 29 November 2009: There's an old saying....It sounds like you're trying to put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig. Do you understand what I'm saying? You're trying to make a messy situation "nice". It's not nice really and it is kind of strange that you want to ... (read in full...)
Why do things always turn sour once you are married?
Q. why is it always like this? when a women and a man is on the relationship, no matter how long the relationship goes even its 5 or 10 years long or more they are most of the time always in good term. the sweetness, the cares, the dream, the love, ...
A. 28 November 2009: Many people have unrealistic expectations and little life experience when they marry. There is really no magic or secret about it. Relationships are what we make of them. A person can really only do half of the maintenance that's invoved in ... (read in full...)
Mad crush!
Q. I must confess. I think I have a problem. Frankly, I've developed a mad crush on a writer here. He's just so damn witty and a clever writer too. I totally enjoy reading his posts, even when he's wrong about a topic. This seems like one helluva man....
A. 9 November 2009: You said so much....and you said nothing.....who is the guy??... (read in full...)
Married! How do I get over this huge crush?
Q. I met my wife 15 years ago. It started as one night thing that just got extended... I have later realized that I never had a change to have big crush on her first. We just started being together because it was convenient and we liked each other. ...
A. 31 October 2009: First of all you have to realize that you'll never be able to fix your marriage if you're planning and arranging to meet another interest. Your marriage has to be your main focus. You will always have attractions to other people. that is life, ... (read in full...)
Freezing cold in South Carolina
Q. My wife and I have been married for 20 years now and her interest in physical contact (hugging, sex, general closeness) has all but disappeared over the years. When we were dating it was much different. I still tell her everyday that I love her and ...
A. 31 October 2009: It sounds like you're in a rut. Things become routine and we become lazy toward eachother. Interestingly enough, the same lazy people are able to find sudden bursts of romantic energy if they ever hit the dating scene again.
It always seems so e... (read in full...)
Would I be overstepping the mark with a birthday card?
Q. Hi! I just have a bit of a small issue. I am friends (very close friends, but I want it to be more) with a guy, we are like two peas in a pod, and it is his birthday soon. I really like him a lot, but he has a girlfriend. Would it be inappropri...
A. 31 October 2009: It sounds like you might have motives. Would you like another woman, who has interests in him, to send cards if he was your boyfriend. You're asking the question so you have raised a little red flag all on your own. The thing is this, par tof you ... (read in full...)
I found out she cheated 2 years ago, now all she does is cry. How do I deal with this?
Q. Hi Guys, If your partner of 20 years cheated on you just once and you found out by chance would you forgive and forget. She is the love of my life and a great mother. Apparently it happened with a mutual so called friend. I confronted her with thi...
A. 30 October 2009: How did you find out?... (read in full...)
How can I help him see I'm trust worthy?
Q. I have been with this guy for a little over a year our begaining wasn't so good. I have learned to trust him but he still don't trust me. How can I help him see I'm trust worthy?...
A. 24 October 2009: what did you do to lose his trust?... (read in full...)
Husband cheated on me with an escourt!
Q. Hi, I just caught my husband of 4 years cheating on me with an escort girl; we have been together for 12 years total (since 17). I fully trusted him, never thought during his time at work he would be meeting with one particular individual. I we...
A. 24 October 2009: I can never understand how someone can minimize their actions by saying it was "just oral".....What is the point of that statement? Although the specifics of particular sexual acts could haunt the thoughts of the person who was cheated on, it's not ... (read in full...)
I want group sex with 5 men
Q. I know this might sound crazy, but I have a long-running fantasy to have group sex with 5 men - I guess what you would call a gang bang. I would like it to be 5 men I don't know too well but who have been "pre-screened", maybe by a swingers group ...
A. 24 October 2009: I think everyone has a fantasy. It probably would be easy to find five guys who would volunteer too. I don't know what caliber of men they would be though. Guys talk about having sloppy seconds in a negative way so I'm not sure many would line up ... (read in full...)
I'm uneasy about my boyfriend's attractive female friend, do I have a point or should I just get over it?
Q. My boyfriend has a female friend he's known since university (he's now 29). She's very attractive (as he's said himself to me) and he used to fancy her a lot several years ago, when he was with his previous girlfriend. She liked him too, but then ...
A. 12 October 2009: What does the facct that she's attractive have to do with this? Would you be bothered by this if she was unattractive? Are you saying he canmeet females if he chooses as long as they're not prettier than you?
You see, this can go on forever.... (read in full...)
My husband had an emotional affair and I can't get past it! Please help!
Q. Please help. My husband had a non sexual (I think I believe this} 'affair' with a work colleague during which time they got very emotionally close (I was being very unloving to him at the time although he never stopped showing he loved and fancied ...
A. 11 October 2009: I think when we keep on trying to be with someone physically and are continually turned down we begin to build resentment. Of course that is when offers form other people sound better. It is at that point a person should talk to their spouse and ... (read in full...)
My husband's friend said that he really likes me! What should I do?
Q. Husband's friend says my husband should b nicer to me. He said that he really likes me. He doesn't want to break us up, he says. But should I be wary anyway? He's always nice to me, teasing,ect.Hopefully he will b moving to Houston in 2 months 4 ...
A. 11 October 2009: First of all, I wouldn't call him a "friend" of your husband. Friends don't do that. When he says your husband should treat you better, he' actually planting a seed that he hopes will begain to make him look good to you. Of course this will be at ... (read in full...)
How do I handle such strong feelings I have for a guy when I'm in a relationship?
Q. I have been in a relationship for over three years now. my boyfriend is a very sweet and kind person. I know that he accepts me for who I am and I do not feel like I have to work to impress him. When we first began dating I was completely head over ...
A. 10 October 2009: If you're hoping that the butterfly feeling and thrill of a new relationship will last forever, you're wrong. It doesn't matter who you are or who you're with, they fade. And, when they fade in a marriage, you better hope that you're wise enough ... (read in full...)
What is sexy?
Q. Sometimes people think sexy is wearing something sheer and being nude, to me sexy is inside a person anyone can be sexy like what they do, wear, say or just touching me. Maybe nice red roses and candle light dinners are geting played out what you ...
A. 4 October 2009: To me, sexy is all about the attitude and enthusiasm. Men like enthusiasm.... (read in full...)
In love with two men, so confused, any advice?
Q. I have been married for 4 years, and have been with my husband for almost 8. We also have a child and have a good life. The thing is I am also in love with some one else. The guy doesn't really know, I'm sure he has some sort of idea. We text and ...
A. 4 October 2009: I totally agree with "lessonslearned". Marriage is a deal, pact, agreement etc, not a dream. Let me ask you a question. You feel all charged up about this old flame. What happens if you leave your husband, go with the old flame, then feel ... (read in full...)
9 years of marriage, husband had affair while I was pregnant and I can't get over it
Q. I am 'recovering' from my husbands affair. When I say recovering, what I actually mean is making very slow progress, which seems to relapse alot. We were married 9 years, I fell pregnant last year. I had the perfect pregnancy , my husband was s...
A. 3 October 2009: Although I don't believe I've ever been actually cheated on, I understand your thought process. I have been jealous once in my marriage of 23 years and that was because I felt unattractive or undesired by my wife. That feeling had been building and ... (read in full...)
At Uni with a jealous possessive bf calling me, all the time! How do I cope?
Q. Right, this might be a bit long but i have two really big problems. I'm currently in university in Cardiff (my first year)and my boyfriend is in Swansea in his second year. Now i love him to pieces and couldnt imagine living my life without him...
A. 21 September 2009: You're supposed to have a good time at school but do you think dancing sexy and flirty is a great idea? That does give the impressioin that you are open to other things. If you know the other guy likes you and you continue to behave like that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't care who I go out with. Does he really love me?
Q. My b/f loves me but is not at all possessive about me. I can go out with anybody and do whatever I feel like. He doent mind. On the other end I am extremely possessive about him and he respects it and feels really good about this . Then why he ...
A. 13 September 2009: He is behaving like we're all suppoesed to behave but have difficulty doing. Don't look for problems where they don't exist. Nobody here knows your boyfriend but based on what you're saying, I think perhaps the issue is yours.... (read in full...)
Did I handle things wrong? I don't want to be labeled as "the crazy bitch"
Q. I would like to get your take on this. I want to apologize but not sure if it’s even worth it. I’ve been dating a guy for about a month ½. Total gentleman, pays all the time, opens doors, can speak for himself and hold a conversation, helps when nee...
A. 7 September 2009: Let's think about this. You say the guy was a perfect gentleman and did everything perfectly until he decide he wanted sex. Is this a mystery? You're in the 30-35 age group and you're using terms like "getting to second base." I'm not saying ... (read in full...)
Am I right not to want her at my wedding?
Q. Hi I am getting married next may. Next week we are having our engagement party. We have been together for 2 yrs. I have not met his 2 best friends yet as they live interstate. They will be coming to the engagement party. One is his best mate who...
A. 7 September 2009: Anything to do with a marriage/wedding etc can turn into a hornets nest realy easy. Women tend to get caught up in the planning and there almost always seems to be stress and hurt feelings over something. Yes, people do become over sensitive. It's ... (read in full...)
Flirting with me and yet found out she has a boyfriend
Q. okay. i am a 30 year old male. a few months ago i started going to the library to study for school a few days per week. this went on for a while. while i was going, a girl that works there started being really friendly with me. i could tell she was ...
A. 6 September 2009: Take a look at the definition of flirting. That should remove your confusion. The fact she has a boyfriend is really no big deal. People flirt. It's the intentions behind the flirting and the level it gets to that make a difference. Flirting can ... (read in full...)
Is squirting possible or just faked?
Q. I guess this question is more pertaining to any personal encounters... But never the less, I was wondering is squirting real, is it staged, or faked in some fashion? If it is in fact real, how is it achieved thanks...
A. 27 August 2009: I do not really think it is very common. I never even heard of it until a few years ago. Did the female body suddenly change. I think it's mostly a porn gimic.... (read in full...)
What is the secret of a successful relationship?
Q. Firstly, thank you for taking the time to read. As alot of agony aunts on here are in successful relationships I'd like to pick some minds about this topic. What IS the secret to a successful relationship? I've seen alot of relationships wh...
A. 1 August 2009: The secret is to always try to keep things interesting. Try to keep some of the enthusiasm alive like when you dated. It is important to make the relationship strong and keep it one solid ground. The grass is not always greener on the other side. ... (read in full...)
What is the secret of a successful relationship?
Q. Firstly, thank you for taking the time to read. As alot of agony aunts on here are in successful relationships I'd like to pick some minds about this topic. What IS the secret to a successful relationship? I've seen alot of relationships wh...
A. 1 August 2009: The secret is to always try to keep things interesting. Try to keep some of the enthusiasm alive like when you dated. It is important to make the relationship strong and keep it one solid ground. The grass is not always greener on the other side. ... (read in full...)
Do I have a good reason to be angry?
Q. I hace been talking to a guy for 2 weeks now and he has a gf. I didnt know that for a while but then when i found out i was furious. I know we arent together but he says hes comfortable in this relaionship and doesnt like the girl shes been pushing ...
A. 31 July 2009: The person with the most right to be angry is his girlfriend. She is oblivious to everything. You new all the details, he knew the details and she was in the dark. When you found out he was involved it might have been a good time to get out of ... (read in full...)
I need ideas for a sexy surprise for my boyfriend. :-)
Q. Hi, I'm hoping for some advice from the guys (and the girls!) out there. My bf of 3 yrs has been away for 2 weeks with work. I want to show him how much I've missed him by giving him a sexy surprise, but am stuck for ideas...has anyone got any ...
A. 12 April 2009: In my experience, guys like almost any attention. What they really like is to know you've been thinking about them and put some thought into planning. That makes a guy feel desired and as if he's king of the jungle. Remember, a lot of what makes ... (read in full...)
Was he thinking of me when he made the move?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 12 months. He had already applied for an Australian visa when I met him or so I thought - but actually made the final part of his application during our relationship without telling me. Now his vis appr...
A. 11 April 2009: This is a two way street.
You always knew what his plans were. You know what you have to do to join him. He seems to want you to come along with him.
At the same time I can see how you don't like the fact he's willing to go without you. Yo... (read in full...)
Should I trust my wife's decisions?
Q. Ok where do I start? We are coming up on our 1 year anniversary. Now my wife was raised by men. Her father guy cousins and older brother. She was always more of a tomboy. I understand all this, but my problem there lies within. Her best fri...
A. 11 April 2009: I don't know if you're being too pushy but what is the difference? If you don't mind the fact she goes out, why does it bother you when you're at work? Anything she wants to accomplish she can accomplish before 4 or 5 AM even when you're home.
... (read in full...)
My fiance is a foreigner, and I have found out he is married!
Q. I have been in a relationship for quite along time now and we have recently engaged he is of foreign nationality. I have recently discovered various things i didn't know about him eg: marriage of possible convenience for status. I don't know wha...
A. 10 April 2009: It doesn't sound like a great way to begin a life relationship. Sometimes though, when people come from places of hardship, they may be more inclined to see the big picture. They may be more willing to do things that we've never even considered. ... (read in full...)
I was an escourt and my b/f of 4 years can't seem to get over it
Q. 10 years ago I worked as an escort. I met my boyfriend 4 years ago and, as soon as the relationship started to get serious, I told him of my past. I wanted to be honest from the outset, and give him an opportunity to walk away. He stayed with...
A. 10 April 2009: You may have a difficult time finding a guy who has no issues with that. Most guys probably will, at least the average guy probably will. If this bothers him now I'm guessing it will always lurk in the back of his mind. You can't change what you ... (read in full...)
My FWB blurted out the "L" word. Should I just try to forget it or what?
Q. I've had a FWB relationship going on now for about 8 months. He is aware that I have seen other people...and I know he is too. My problem is that I have extremely intense feelings for him. I know he is aware of my feelings to a point. I have thou...
A. 10 April 2009: Why don't you look at the good side of this and accept that you've found someone to love. Many people spend a lifetime trying to find someone to love. What are you afraid of? What are you hiding from? ... (read in full...)
Should I trust my wife's decisions?
Q. Ok where do I start? We are coming up on our 1 year anniversary. Now my wife was raised by men. Her father guy cousins and older brother. She was always more of a tomboy. I understand all this, but my problem there lies within. Her best fri...
A. 10 April 2009: I tend to think those are not great situations. It all sounds Ok until something happens. Nothing has happened "yet". It may never actually h appen either but the ground work is being laid for a potential problem. Can you talk to her about this ... (read in full...)
My fiance is a foreigner, and I have found out he is married!
Q. I have been in a relationship for quite along time now and we have recently engaged he is of foreign nationality. I have recently discovered various things i didn't know about him eg: marriage of possible convenience for status. I don't know wha...
A. 10 April 2009: What event did he lie about?... (read in full...)
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