Like what
he writes?
... Add *ddie to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
|
| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
|
Is this really American culture? It hurts that he considers what I did in a picture 9 months ago as cheating
Q. Hi dearcupids! You always offer great advice, so here's a question for you. My boyfriend and I recently got into a fight about a picture that was taken of me. Now Im from a different country than him, he's American. In this picture I was at a party ...
A. 21 February 2010: It's not so much an American thing as it is just a thing. Not all Americans are that way. There is a wide spectrum of people in that country. I live in Canada and my city is on the border with the USA. I'm also married to an American and I've ... (read in full...)
Since he cheated my life has never been the same
Q. I'm at breaking point and so is my partner. I don't know what to do anymore. He cheated at the begining of our relationship and I have obviously not dealt with it. My anger has grown to such a point that I don't know if it will ever get better....
A. 20 February 2010: You might need to get some professional help to deal with this. I think you need to accept the fact that it happened. There's no changing it. What happened between them was a physical reacation between a male and female. Don't disect the event, ... (read in full...)
Depressed about being lonely
Q. I need help, No one seems to approach me to date... I'm fairly attractive, I take time each day to fix my hair nice ,put some makeup ,lip gloss all that good stuff..am currently eating healthier and working on losing weight.. Im not horrible looking ...
A. 15 February 2010: Can you send me a private message? Are you willing to date anyone or only hispanic men?... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have swings in my feelings like this?
Q. I have been going back and forth in my head about whether I need to move on or stay in my marriage. I can't seem to make a decision, and I go from one extreme to another. One day, I may think about getting my own place, how nice it would be, and ...
A. 15 February 2010: Get some couples therapy from a professional. You sound bitter. I don't know much about your marriage but it sounds like your resentment has peaked and issues that should have been dealt with have been festering. Maybe it's justified and maybe ... (read in full...)
Do you think he had a fling with her and only ended it when she went crazy?
Q. What do you make of this? My b/f and I have been together only a year when this (single) gal starts working at his office. Suddenly they are going out in the field together a lot and he claims it's for "work". (Funny when her male counterparts ...
A. 15 February 2010: What I find odd is this. When you raised the red flag earlier, your boyfriend said you were being jealous. Now that the cat is possibly out of the bag, he's shifting the blame to her. There are lots of possabilities here. Maybe he cheated, maybe ... (read in full...)
Valentines Day was such a disappointment, he never makes me feel special anymore...
Q. Two weeks ago when my b/f and I were having a fight he bought me an ipod and gave it to me, to get himself out of the doghouse. He said it was an early Valentine's gift. He didn't wrap it, he just handed it to me after we left the store. When ...
A. 15 February 2010: If everything you say in the second paragraph of your post is true, why are you with him? What is the good part of the relationship?... (read in full...)
Depressed about being lonely
Q. I need help, No one seems to approach me to date... I'm fairly attractive, I take time each day to fix my hair nice ,put some makeup ,lip gloss all that good stuff..am currently eating healthier and working on losing weight.. Im not horrible looking ...
A. 15 February 2010: One more thing, if you feel really sad you should talk to someone professional who is able to help you.... (read in full...)
Depressed about being lonely
Q. I need help, No one seems to approach me to date... I'm fairly attractive, I take time each day to fix my hair nice ,put some makeup ,lip gloss all that good stuff..am currently eating healthier and working on losing weight.. Im not horrible looking ...
A. 15 February 2010: Mira chica, sigue asi !! You're doing all the things you need to do to make yourself physically attractive. You day will come. There is no way of knowing when though. Involve yourself with people, join clubs and go to places where people mingle. ... (read in full...)
What are my next steps with this?
Q. I am in the middle of a divorce and have met a married man who has the same values and needs. My marriage will be over for reasons that have nothing to do with him;however we have connected both mentally and sexually. I was asked where I was 10 ...
A. 15 February 2010: I guess what always gets my attetnion is the ability people have to whitewash their behaviour. This is usually followed by a flowery description and justification of their poor choice. Why did you decide that this is not a scenario you should be ... (read in full...)
Am I being blind or just paranoid?
Q. I just wanted to know if I'm being paraniod. My bf and I have been going out for 6 months now, we have a age gap of 10 years, he's 21 and I'm 31. I've got 3 kids and he has none. He cheated on me in our third month, told me the truth about it. ...
A. 14 February 2010: I'd say more often than not, there is a huge difference in a 31 year old mother of three and a 21 year old male. He is at an age where he might want to be footloose and fancy free and you have lots of responsabilities. Be careful.... (read in full...)
How can I prove to my wife I'm NOT cheating on her?
Q. My wife accuses me time and time again of cheating. She has also tried to hack into my facebook and myspace. I have proved to her time and time again that I'm not cheating by letting her look at my accounts and also she goes through my phone and I ...
A. 13 February 2010: How can you prove to your wife that you washed your hands yesterday after you used the bathroom? You can't! Somw things can't be proven. You can't prove you DIDN'T do something. How can you prove you don't have a huge crush on the woman next ... (read in full...)
I have no respect for my wife and don't plan on having kids together. How do I tell her?
Q. Please don't judge me for what I write .... My wife and I have been married for 5 yrs. I love her deeply but I look at her as a whore. We have had a very interesting sex life since meeting, engaging in group sex, 3 sums, public sex and often sw...
A. 9 February 2010: This must be a joke.
... (read in full...)
What does this really mean for me?
Q. My boyfriend rarely kisses me any more, when we have sex there is no foreplay, no reciprocation of oral sex for me, never any kissing during sex, sometimes he's looking at me and other times just watching porn while I perform oral on him. I try ...
A. 9 February 2010: The fact he does not try to satisfy you sexually is the most telling part of this. As for watching porn while you perform oral sex, that is up to you. Don't do it while he's watching porn.... (read in full...)
So, what's the point of being attractive or hot when it just attracts those that notice your physical assets while not appreciating your other assets first?
Q. I recalled all of my relationships of the past. I haven't been in just one or two, but a little more than a few. I don't sleep around, and I don't settle for the first thing that comes my way. I feel love, I do not just feel lust. I try to be ...
A. 30 January 2010: I think it takes quite some work for me to be certifiably 'hot.'...........Those are your words. If you're not trying to impress anyone with your looks, why do you spend quite some time preparing yourself.
The reality is this, you can't see "nic... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to leave her husband for me
Q. I am having an affair with a married woman. If you are reading and feel the need to tell me to stop or find someone who is not married, you can keep your comments to yourself because I don't care. We are both crazy in love for one another. She ...
A. 26 January 2010: Good luck then. You might benefit by talking to someone else who might gie you some insight about your thoughts. A professional therapist might help you with that. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to leave her husband for me
Q. I am having an affair with a married woman. If you are reading and feel the need to tell me to stop or find someone who is not married, you can keep your comments to yourself because I don't care. We are both crazy in love for one another. She ...
A. 24 January 2010: Yes, we're different. One thing though is it is not right to try and justify poor choices just because they've been made. You have everything to gain in this deal. You see, if she thought she was happy until she met you, she chose to act ... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to leave her husband for me
Q. I am having an affair with a married woman. If you are reading and feel the need to tell me to stop or find someone who is not married, you can keep your comments to yourself because I don't care. We are both crazy in love for one another. She ...
A. 24 January 2010: What I think is that no one can really know what is going on between her and I... accept her and I. She got married young and didn't know what true love was until now....
This is true. Nobody knows what is going between you two. Her marria... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to leave her husband for me
Q. I am having an affair with a married woman. If you are reading and feel the need to tell me to stop or find someone who is not married, you can keep your comments to yourself because I don't care. We are both crazy in love for one another. She ...
A. 23 January 2010: In my world, I'd back away. I find cheating to be a terrible thing. I believe we have choices in life and sometimes the best choice is not the one we want to make. Sometimes we need to do what is right just because it's right. You mentioned that ... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to leave her husband for me
Q. I am having an affair with a married woman. If you are reading and feel the need to tell me to stop or find someone who is not married, you can keep your comments to yourself because I don't care. We are both crazy in love for one another. She ...
A. 23 January 2010: She loves her husband, you said it yourself. You say you don't care about what is good or bad so that tells me something about you. On the other hand you say she owes her husband one more chance. If you don't care about right and wrong, why do ... (read in full...)
"All the Rules" has any1 read it and found success?
Q. ok just bought the book "All the Rules" and its about dating and how to hook line and sink a husband, has anyone read it and found it to be successful? It was a pretty popular book around 1995/96... anyone who has read it please reply!...
A. 23 January 2010: Dime una cosa....tienes problemas buscando un esposo?... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to my stepson.
Q. I'm 38 years old and married to an older man - he's 50. It's his second marriage and he's got 2 kids from his previous marriage. Over the past few months my attraction to my stepson has grown tremendously. We flirt a lot to the point it could be ...
A. 23 January 2010: Cheating only makes things worse. Talk to your husband, I wouldn't mention his son either. It's an attraction. WE all have them. If it wasn't him it would be, and will be, someone else.... (read in full...)
Will married man leave his wife to be with me?
Q. My story is I've been seeing a mm for almost 3 years now. He's been married for a long time now with 2 kids and so he says, they're the only reason he's still at home. We love each other, had breaks away and get together usually 3 times a week a...
A. 4 January 2010: Why does he have to support you?... (read in full...)
This woman will do things my wife will not do
Q. I am currently married 10+ years. Was married nearly 10 previous. Have posted an ad for a descrete sexual relationship and found my potential match. She is willing to do things with me my wife will not. She wants me to do things that my wife would ...
A. 3 January 2010: I read your earlier reply and I'd like to add that you need to step up the negotiations at home. She needs to understand how you feel. Don't let it slide.... (read in full...)
This woman will do things my wife will not do
Q. I am currently married 10+ years. Was married nearly 10 previous. Have posted an ad for a descrete sexual relationship and found my potential match. She is willing to do things with me my wife will not. She wants me to do things that my wife would ...
A. 3 January 2010: Will this woman you found wipe your butt when you're 85 and can't get out of bed? Will she wipe your mouth when you can't manage to eat properly anymore? Would you expect your wife to have a lover on the side if you ever become impotent?
Marri... (read in full...)
I told him I would call his home!
Q. I was in a relationship with a married man and I thought I got pregnant and tried to contact him several times. So I called him a few times for about 5 days and he didn't answer. Then I sent him a message stating that I thought I was pregnant and I ...
A. 3 January 2010: Sleeping with someone else's husband is the bad thing. Cheating on a spouse is a bad thing. If you're going to cheat, not uses birth control is a risky thing. Debating about making a phone call......the scale of good or bad here seems a little ... (read in full...)
How can I let go of the past?
Q. I am a married woman who had a affair with another man four years ago. We both broke it off (more like he did as he saw somone else with out telling me.) I love my husband dearly and our life is much better now with all this behind me. The problem ...
A. 3 January 2010: Does your husband kow about the affair?
You know there is some irony here. Your lover cheated on the person he was cheating with who was cheating on her husband. You mention your life is much better now and you love your husband dearly. Can you ... (read in full...)
Last day in Spain, I have to go home, but I don't want to leave. I'm so sad. Please advise?
Q. Hola, For those of you that don´t know me, I´m an aunt here on this site. I´m always glad to help, and I try to give very direct and sincere advice without judging people. I´m here because I´m feeling a little sad today and I´m not really sur...
A. 2 January 2010: Yo tambien tengo un corazon y alma latino y soy de canada. I'm assuming you speak spanish. I spent lots of time in Puerto Rico in 1987 after marrying a woman from there. It was the best time of my life, I'm still with her and we go back often. ... (read in full...)
Please Tell Me How To Handle My Man's Accusation Of An Affair
Q. The boyfriend did it again; saw a guy approach me and lost his mind and accused me of having sex with him. Said from what he saw it looks like we are having an affair and I need to come clean. I was lifting weights and a guy came up during m...
A. 31 December 2009: First of all, you can't prove you didn't do something. There is nothing you can do that will satisfy his jealous mind. Is this the first time you've had this type of problem with him?
That is a pretty wild accusation, saying you've had sex ... (read in full...)
She's controlling me with sex!
Q. So I am dating this girl and we have been have sex for a awhile but one day she randomly decided that she wouldn't have sex anymore because she's in a bad mood indefinitely. I feel its a power play on her part and so I told her to enjoy her time and ...
A. 31 December 2009: She's entitled to say she's in a bad mood and doesn't want to have sex anymore for an extended period of time. What a stupid thing to say though. Unless there is something else going on in the relationship that gives her reason to doubt this guy, ... (read in full...)
Last day in Spain, I have to go home, but I don't want to leave. I'm so sad. Please advise?
Q. Hola, For those of you that don´t know me, I´m an aunt here on this site. I´m always glad to help, and I try to give very direct and sincere advice without judging people. I´m here because I´m feeling a little sad today and I´m not really sur...
A. 30 December 2009: Start planning your next move. Set a goal and figure out how to make it happen... (read in full...)
Its complicated...please some objective input?
Q. Hi there I've searched for and read so many of the emails from guys in the similar situation to me. I can never find one "relationship situation" that is exact to my particular situation, but at the end of the day, the expected answers I will g...
A. 30 December 2009: I won't say she uses you while he's away but I would say she's having a hard time making a clean break. She wants her son to know his birth father and she probably still has a soft spot for him. Let's face it, he walked out on her. Based on what ... (read in full...)
Girl texts my boyfriend at odd hours late at night. Is she more than a colleague or a friend?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for approx. 8 months now. We belong to different cultures. He is an introvert and likes his space. He does not share a lot about his friends. I assume that is because he wants to give them their privacy. Quite ...
A. 29 December 2009: The fact she is unhappy in her marriage and texting at those late hours is not really what I would call appropriate. Apart from that, it is also disrerpectful on her part to do this. I can't think of any reason I'd call someone else's wife in the ... (read in full...)
What are some of the early signs of pregnancy?
Q. my question is about before a missed period and pregnancy ... what were some mild symptoms before finding out ur preggo... not the throwing up stuff but more like ain in ovaries and stuff like that?...
A. 29 December 2009: Can't you take a pregnancy test to find out for sure? You could go to the doctor too. Anyway you look at it you should know one way or another within a few weeks.... (read in full...)
What are some of the early signs of pregnancy?
Q. my question is about before a missed period and pregnancy ... what were some mild symptoms before finding out ur preggo... not the throwing up stuff but more like ain in ovaries and stuff like that?...
A. 29 December 2009: intercourse... (read in full...)
Porn - how is it fair to the mother of your children
Q. So often I seem to see questions posted by women hurt by their partners use if porn. So many men seem to feel justified in using it even when in committed relationshis. The question I have is how it can possibly be fair to women? So often a couple ...
A. 27 December 2009: When women masturbate, do they think of middle aged men with sagging bellies, wrinkles and hair where it never grew before or do they think of the perfect man? Porn is just a visual tool for the people who use it. By the way, I don't really use or ... (read in full...)
My wife and I both had affairs but she won't forgive me for mine
Q. After many months of hell, and my wife's affair, my suspected affair, myself and my wife decided to give it another go. She has been honest with all that has happenned, so I decided to confirm to her the affair I had that she suspected. She's gone ...
A. 14 December 2009: You sound like you are sorry. This is something you need to work out between the two of you and pehaps a marriage therapist. What happened will always be there but you may learn how to cope as a couple. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Converting between Christian Religions?
Q. I was born and raised a catholic, recently I've been going to a Christian services and I absolutely love it. My question is it bad that I want to convert and be baptized as a Christian?...
A. 14 December 2009: I'm suspecting the church you're involved in now has told you all the reasons the catholic church is not the "real" way. I've heard many born again type people try to minimize other sects. I'm not religous. I find happiness in good people and ... (read in full...)
My friend had a child with a one night stand, should she tell him?
Q. A friend of mine asked my advice on this situation and I had no idea what to tell her. She is a 19 year old single mother and the father of her baby doesn’t know that she had his baby. She feels that she doesn’t want to tell him because he has such ...
A. 13 December 2009: I think he deserves to know. They both participated in the event. What are your friends circumstances? ... (read in full...)
My wife and I both had affairs but she won't forgive me for mine
Q. After many months of hell, and my wife's affair, my suspected affair, myself and my wife decided to give it another go. She has been honest with all that has happenned, so I decided to confirm to her the affair I had that she suspected. She's gone ...
A. 13 December 2009: Did you punish her or make her feel really guilty about what she did while youwere making up? Did you put her through hell, all the while kowing you did the same thing? If you did, and she wore her heart on her sleeve while making up,starting a ... (read in full...)
I think my husband only wants me for sex
Q. Okay, I'm a 29 year old female, married, and have a 2 year old. I feel like all my husband wants from me is sex and when I don't want to he pouts. Being a new mother I'm tired all the time and he always wants to when I'm ready for bed. I've told him ...
A. 13 December 2009: I'm not arguing with you. I'd suggest again that youve reached the point where you are frustrated. You spoke of "it's get hard not to act on impulses" and you mentioned you can sit around and talk or play cards etc. That was the big red flag for ... (read in full...)
I think my husband only wants me for sex
Q. Okay, I'm a 29 year old female, married, and have a 2 year old. I feel like all my husband wants from me is sex and when I don't want to he pouts. Being a new mother I'm tired all the time and he always wants to when I'm ready for bed. I've told him ...
A. 10 December 2009: It really doesn't matter who the other guy is or how you kow him. What matters is what your feeling about him. You have to fix the problem in your marriage or at least let him kow how bad it is. Stop with the other guy though.... (read in full...)
I think my husband only wants me for sex
Q. Okay, I'm a 29 year old female, married, and have a 2 year old. I feel like all my husband wants from me is sex and when I don't want to he pouts. Being a new mother I'm tired all the time and he always wants to when I'm ready for bed. I've told him ...
A. 6 December 2009: It sounds like you're lacking something in your relationship. You should try to get some professional help for you and your husband.
Let's start with this "friend" you've developed feelings for. Stay away from him. He is no longer only a friend... (read in full...)
| *ddie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ddie has
added them and they have added *ddie!
|
