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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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How do I deal with a cheap boyfriend
Q. I am at a loss. I have been in a relationship with this guy for 3 years. We lived together for 1.5 years and then moved out but decided to keep trying our luck at making the relationship work. The main issues (according to me!) were 1. money 2. ...
A. 25 November 2008: Don't count on your parents money, get yourself up and running. It sounds like money is a huge issue in your relationship. At this point you don't have enough and he seems to have some extra. You resent that he won't spend it and he resents that ... (read in full...)
He cut contact with me and our son because his wife has discovered our affair! What do you think?
Q. Over a year ago i got in contact with someone from my past. His marriage was very unhappy and he was there for his children as they meant everything to him.He stopped loving his wife and his marriage had been on the rocks for a couple of years ...
A. 23 November 2008: You should make him pay his share. Both of you created a situation that will last for the rest of your lives. He shouldn't have cheated on his wife and you should have had better morals. At this point you can only help he does the right thing. I ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a cheap boyfriend
Q. I am at a loss. I have been in a relationship with this guy for 3 years. We lived together for 1.5 years and then moved out but decided to keep trying our luck at making the relationship work. The main issues (according to me!) were 1. money 2. ...
A. 22 November 2008: He may sound a little focused on money but I have a question. Cheap is defined as someone who is stingy. In other words, someone who doesn't like to spend their money. Hmmmmmm....that describes you !! He wants to pay his part and you don't want ... (read in full...)
I like my boss, I think he feels the same, but we both have partners and he has kids!
Q. What do I do, the chemistry is there, the eye contact is there, we still blush even though we've been working together 3 months now. I think about him almost everyday and when he goes home on a friday im the last person he says goodbye to and he ...
A. 22 November 2008: I don't fully agree with the aunts who say the guy is the one playing a game. You both are playing here. They mention you should avoid his flirting. That would be good but you need to stop flirting too. In reality who cares about attraction or ... (read in full...)
He's got a GF and resisting my offers to meet up. Is he just messing with me?
Q. What is up? Ok - I'm a good looking older woman with a good figure and personality! - I have recently got involved with a younger guy who I would do ANYTHING for and he knows I really like him (but unfortunately he has a girlfriend who he says ...
A. 19 November 2008: Maybe his integrity is causing him grief. Maybe he discovered he has more moral fibre than.....hmmm...the woman chasing him. Maybe he's not interested. The fact is, you should leave him alone.... (read in full...)
Do things happen for a reason or is that wishful thinking?
Q. Do things happens for a reason? Like if your marriage breaks down, its not all that bad, because the reason it broke down, that there is a better love can come to your life? So it's like meant to happen? Or if you lose an opportunity in your career, ...
A. 17 November 2008: I don't think things happen for a reason. For every action we take there are many potential outcomes. There are probabilities and possibilities. For example, if you go to college you might get a better job. This could be true. Yo might also ... (read in full...)
Abuse caused our separation, not interested in a reconcilation, how do I tell him strongly?
Q. My husband of 2 years and I seperated in September. He is now begging me to reconcile with him, says he's been going to counseling and feels he is a better person. I really feel I have no interest in being with him again. He was very abusive ...
A. 17 November 2008: Well you answered my question and that IS ABUSE. Did you hit him too or was it all him?... (read in full...)
How to break the attraction with my boss friend at work cautiously?
Q. (Is he trying to turn my head or is he serious? and Is it possible to love someone when you are married? Is the background and past posts to this post. Thanks for answering! I saw him yesterday and immediately he wanted one of our 'hugs', ...
A. 16 November 2008: I like the way you described the way you greet him as one of "our hugs". DON'T hug him. It is not a cutesy little thing because there are feelings behind it. If you want to avoid a bad situation, don't flirt with him. Watch your back though. ... (read in full...)
Can you tell me what's going through her mind?
Q. I need advice about a situation I'm in. There's a woman I work with that is very out-going, whom I'm very attracted to. I few days ago I invited her out for a drink after work. We had a wonderful time. The conversation came easy, there was a lot of ...
A. 15 November 2008: Are you in an open marriage? If not, you're a very confused man and seem to have lost focus of what the problems really are. You seem to speak very eloquently so I'm a little perplexed at your lack of common sense. You list the details of this ... (read in full...)
Abuse caused our separation, not interested in a reconcilation, how do I tell him strongly?
Q. My husband of 2 years and I seperated in September. He is now begging me to reconcile with him, says he's been going to counseling and feels he is a better person. I really feel I have no interest in being with him again. He was very abusive ...
A. 15 November 2008: You say he is a little physically abusive. What does that mean? That is a big statement and sometimes used to easily. Can you give an example?... (read in full...)
Why would he even want to mess around with me if he already had a girlfriend? How can I show him I'm better than her?
Q. My brother is friends with this guy who happens to be black. When I saw him around I would ways try to make conversation with him but he never talked too much. A few months ago he got a job at my work and started flirting with me. We started ...
A. 15 November 2008: "even though I'm white I can be there on the same level as the black girl"....What does that mean? I don't know why colour has come into this. Anyway, if he's taken....stop seeing him. That is simple. He's unavailable.... (read in full...)
I am a young, married woman and love having sex, my husband wants it once a month, how do I change this?
Q. I am a young wife, just 22 and am married to my husband, 29 for over a year and a half. My husband and I have a good marriage except for one little detail: we only have sex just once a month if that. I am a nympho and my husband knew that when we ...
A. 14 November 2008: You need to create a calendar with shorter months. Just kidding...talk to him and negotiate. Sex drives differ and it can be frustrating.... (read in full...)
My husband says there are 2 types of I don't want to. Can anyone shed some light on this?
Q. What does it mean when talking to my husband about our lack of sex, he says there are two types of don't want to?...
A. 13 November 2008: He might mean there are two types....I don't want to do it...period...NO !! Or there is the other way....I don't want to do it but I will for your sake....type of thing. A man usually desires a woman who desires him. As usual in marriage though ... (read in full...)
She wants to spend time with him when I'm not around, what should I do?
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for about 4 years and our relationship is solid and very loving. we both understand and support each other. recently i've noticed that one of his friends in college seems to be very interested in spending time with him ...
A. 11 November 2008: I don't know if it's disrespectful of her to stop by your house but in your frame of mind, I can see why you might lean that way. It only bothers you because you feel she's moving in on your guy based on the entire scenario. He needs to set up ... (read in full...)
Would this be termed as cheating???
Q. Question:- A man (who is in a relationship) secretly stays in touch with another woman who he knows loves him and is forever showering him with gifts (but doesn't ask her for anything more - ie sex). So would you say this man is cheating on his ...
A. 4 November 2008: Yes it's cheating. He's fueling a fantasy that is based on desire, lust etc. It is not something that is beneficial to the primary relationship. He's pumping up his ego with attention from another woman.... (read in full...)
Torn between my husband whose dirty sexual fantasies disgust me and another man with whom I am emotionally involved!
Q. Im in a real, emotional mess at the moment and i could do with some good advice. Im 40 and married with 3 children,now while i care about my husband i dont like his sexual needs because they are very bizarre and i find them totally disgusting. We ...
A. 2 November 2008: I can totally see where you're coming from in this particular sexual fantasy. I'm not judging it but I will say that is is probably on the very extreme fringe of what is a "common" practice. Good or bad? Who knows?
Either way, it is still yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend, his colleague and I had a threesome, now I'm hyperworried about the time he spends at work!...
Q. hi,went on a business trip with my boyfriend of 2 years,he always talked about the young girl at work and it bothered me,this was the second time i met her ,her and i became drunk and began kissing which later ended up in bed,we did nothing more ...
A. 1 November 2008: Obviously you don't trust him. If you did, there'd be no problem. The truth might be that you don't trust her or his reaction to her potential advances. You are jealous and afraid that he might enjoy her advances. If you seriously trust him then ... (read in full...)
Torn between my husband whose dirty sexual fantasies disgust me and another man with whom I am emotionally involved!
Q. Im in a real, emotional mess at the moment and i could do with some good advice. Im 40 and married with 3 children,now while i care about my husband i dont like his sexual needs because they are very bizarre and i find them totally disgusting. We ...
A. 1 November 2008: You should never be forced or coerced to do anything that you don't want to do. I don't know what specific act you're talking about though so I don't know where you're coming from. Having said that, I'm accepting your opinion that husbands habits ... (read in full...)
I'm afaid if I leave and take the kids and let him see them he won't give them back to me.
Q. I want to leave my husband! I can't live like this any more and I told him today. He didn't really care that I was leaving but said I'm not taking the kids they're both 6. I'm afaid if I leave and take the kids and let him see them he won't give ...
A. 30 October 2008: I can't believe the reply from the other aunt who says it's him that should be leaving. How on earth does anyone know that? You clearly stated that you wanted to leave. If you are choosing to end a relationship then let the chips fall where they ... (read in full...)
I'm afaid if I leave and take the kids and let him see them he won't give them back to me.
Q. I want to leave my husband! I can't live like this any more and I told him today. He didn't really care that I was leaving but said I'm not taking the kids they're both 6. I'm afaid if I leave and take the kids and let him see them he won't give ...
A. 30 October 2008: Well if you want to leave that is your prerogative. Perhaps you should see a lawyer. Why do you feel entitled to take the kids? I don't understand that. What does "take" mean? They are his kids too so it would be totally understandable if he ... (read in full...)
What is the differance between a man admiring beauty and lusting after a woman?
Q. I would like to ask everyone's opinion. What is the difference between a man looking at a woman and admiring her beauty, vs a man looking at a woman and lusting? ...
A. 28 October 2008: Many times men see a pretty woman and they look her over. If they're single they may lust over or desire her and do something about it. They may just notice. It all depends on the frame of mind at that moment. There is nothing wrong with either. ... (read in full...)
How come men seem to have more sexual urge than women?
Q. Do they males have more sexual urge then females.generally males show much interest on ladies and sex. similar desire is not seen in females, Is it gender variation or indidual variation...
A. 26 October 2008: While there is definitely personal variation, I don't think it' can be denied that women tend to be less sexually overt. Women seem to be less interested in sex as often as men. The proof is easy to see. There are all kinds of ads for men to ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat, get a girl on the side ?
Q. I am loyal to my wife and I do work very hard (80+ hours a week) to provide for my family. I am Nice to be with, a good lover and a strong sex drive. How ever I am soo frustrated because we have sex once a month. I expect my day to end with a nice ...
A. 25 October 2008: Do not cheat !!! Your resentment has built to a high level. The more you keep it inside the more the thoughts will ruminate in your head. You must talk to your wife. If you can not work it out between the two of you then bring in a therapist. ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing a married man, I love a married man. How do I know if he is serious about leaving his wife ?
Q. I'm seeing a married man, I love a married man. He says he's going to leave his wife not because of me but because he's no longe happy in his marriage but some of the things he says about her I just don't know that I beleive him, How do i know if he ...
A. 25 October 2008: He has very little credibility. Neither do you. You are both playing with fire and starting something that is based on bad behavior and a lack of moral fiber. What is the benefit of what you're embarking on? Why do you want a man who wold behave ... (read in full...)
Why do many marriages fall apart? How can you tell it's not going to work? How can you mend it?
Q. They say 50% of marriages brakes down. This is very frightening. I wonder why is the other 50% stays alive... Is this partly because of religion? It s almost feels like plague. Spreading ,like a virus. We all know its coming, but you don't kn...
A. 25 October 2008: I feel the biggest issue that starts the marriage breakdown is lack of effort due to monotony. We become to complacent and comfortable. We, understandably, stop doing the little things to impress our partners as time goes by.
When a relation... (read in full...)
Any mention of sex seems to make my wife run the other way. What am I to do or think?
Q. I am not sure what to think here. I am going on the second year anniversary with my wife. She hasn't lately been feeling very sexual. I would say our sex life is at an all time low. I got some for my birthday a week ago, but any mention of doing ...
A. 25 October 2008: It is very important to discuss this with your wife and a therapist if you can't work it out between the two of you. Do not let your feelings fester as you will begin to resent her and this will creep into your relationship.... (read in full...)
Will I ever get to meet up with him or shall I just quit now?
Q. Will I ever get to meet up with him or shall I just quit now? I am in love with this guy who says he has a partner that he doesn't get on too well with but knows I am interested in him and keeps phoning me! - We have arranged to meet up as long ...
A. 24 October 2008: I's really none of your concern if he's OK or not. Don't try and convince yourelf that's all you want. You know better.... (read in full...)
Has trust been broken? Can I love her agian? Lies?????
Q. I am a married man of 10 years. Recently I discovered my wife has been deceiving me over the amount of contact with an EX of hers. I was cool with the level of contact I was lead to believe was going on..... but it is about 4 times the amount I...
A. 19 October 2008: It's difficult to clarify a point when the person you're asking to clarify is the one who has been telling lies. There is no point of reference to base if they're still telling lies. At that point it's a leap of faith to believe them. They are ... (read in full...)
Has trust been broken? Can I love her agian? Lies?????
Q. I am a married man of 10 years. Recently I discovered my wife has been deceiving me over the amount of contact with an EX of hers. I was cool with the level of contact I was lead to believe was going on..... but it is about 4 times the amount I...
A. 18 October 2008: I was surprised by the polygraph point too but I still have to say what she was doing was wrong. We don't really know if this guy is as controlling as the aunts have mentioned but we do know she was deceiving him. If what he says is true, she was ... (read in full...)
I can't stop imagining my girlfriend's sexual history. How do I express my feelings to her without making her feel like a slut?
Q. Hello. I have been dating a wonderful girl for a little over a year now. We live together, love each other deeply, and I know she wants to marry me (though I feel we are too young right now to do so). My problem is that over the course of our re...
A. 18 October 2008: She can't change the past so you have to accept it or move on. Do you think the next woman will be any better? Or the one after that. You need to accept that people have and enjoy sex. It happens before you meet a person, during and should you ... (read in full...)
Do I act on my lesbian feelings or remain alone, for the sake of my closeminded daughter?
Q. I met this girl in a strange way, actually in a business setting. Now all I think of is her and anticipate our next meeting. The problem is I ve been attracted to females all my life. I ran from the feelings afraid of what people would say, fore I ...
A. 18 October 2008: I think you should find love. You can not live your life for the sake of your daughter's feelings. You too deserve to be happy. How do you know you'll lose your daughter? ... (read in full...)
Has trust been broken? Can I love her agian? Lies?????
Q. I am a married man of 10 years. Recently I discovered my wife has been deceiving me over the amount of contact with an EX of hers. I was cool with the level of contact I was lead to believe was going on..... but it is about 4 times the amount I...
A. 18 October 2008: I'd bet she figured if she told you she'd "popped in for a coffee" and you didn't object, she'd write off the other visits as probably being acceptable too. She'd allow herself that you'd "probably" be OK with that too. She could argue that she ... (read in full...)
Forming a relationship with a church-going lady?
Q. Susan(32) is a woman I met last year (September 2007) and we went out for a couple of weeks in Early to mid June. The dating started when a mutual friend suggested I ask Susan out as Susan had told her she found me attractive. We dated a coup...
A. 18 October 2008: I agree with guillaume, it is obvious. She has told you what is important to her. You are not a practicing Christian so it is not that important to you. People who really feel connected to religion try to live the life. That usually includes ... (read in full...)
Do men really prefer the bodies of their girlfriends/wives over the perfect model type in most porn?
Q. Do men really prefer the bodies of their girlfriends/wives over the model perfect type in most porn. I mean do they really prefer a mommy body with scars and sags (not overweight)as they say, over the scarless pre baby bodies on playboy and ...
A. 18 October 2008: Lots of women buy make up. Have you ever seen a make up company put out and advertising campaign of people who look terrible? It's all smoke and mirrors. People do like perfection. We all need to understand though that somewhere in the middle is ... (read in full...)
How can I call him without his partner answering?
Q. Should I just ring him? I am totally besotted with a man who got on great with me but had a partner! Nevertheless - I gave him my number and we were going to meet up but circumstances meant we missed each other on the day! - However, he never ...
A. 16 October 2008: You say no cheating is going on but you wonder about a future for the two of you, you had plans to meet up....that would be cheating. Feelings do not entitle you to do what you want, nor him. ... (read in full...)
I want to leave my boyfriend, should I take the children with me? I feel I would be a bad mother for doing this...
Q. I want to leave my bf of 8 years,and its not for another man or any selfish reasons. We have 3 children togehter and the only way I see fit to move is by leaving the children with him. I feel like I would be a bad Mom for doing this and don't want ...
A. 16 October 2008: You really didn't give enough details for anyone to have a vaild opinion.... (read in full...)
How can I call him without his partner answering?
Q. Should I just ring him? I am totally besotted with a man who got on great with me but had a partner! Nevertheless - I gave him my number and we were going to meet up but circumstances meant we missed each other on the day! - However, he never ...
A. 16 October 2008: You should really just leave married people alone.... (read in full...)
What does a guy mean when he says he is "chicken" in getting together with me?
Q. dear cupid, We are both married and I asked him if he wants to get together? He said, we would have to be discreet. I was like good he likes me.. but when the time came, he told me he is "chicken" and didn't want to get caught! What does he mea...
A. 16 October 2008: It means he scared to get caught. What he's saying is that he loves the attention you're giving him, he'd love to see you in his bed but it's not worth it because of what he might lose. Maybe he's a afraid of catching a sexually transmitted ... (read in full...)
Is it realistic for me to want a relationship with this married man?
Q. I already know it's wrong to be with a married man but I want a relationship with him and all he wants is sex cause he has a new baby and his wife is too busy for sex! Is it realistic for me to want a relationship? ...
A. 16 October 2008: It's realistic to want all kinds of things. I want my neighbors car...and his boat. They don't belong to me. Would it be wrong for me to take his stuff and use it when he's not looking? Of course. Should you have sex with someone else's ... (read in full...)
Stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Q. So you all know me by now. lol my wife couldn't figure what she wanted. well the divorce is over been finalized. Well she has been seeing this guy for 2 months and she talked to me 2 nights ago saying she misses me that she started seeing herself ...
A. 15 October 2008: I think you go on with your life. IF she left you and hasn't come back yet, don't be so needy. Keep yourself in the game until you and she are sure what she really wants.... (read in full...)
My husband got jealous of my guy friend! Whom do I choose?
Q. Ok, so heres the thing.... I just got married in July... and had been seeing my now husband before that for nearly 5 yrs but, sometimes I miss the attention and desire you get from men when you are single. My husband has a friend (not a super close ...
A. 15 October 2008: I think you should re-read what you've written. Your husband has lots of reason to be jealous. You've had to make a deal with yourself that you wouldn't do anything with that other guy. You also mention right off the top that you miss attention ... (read in full...)
Does my ex still care, or was her jealousy just lingering attachment?
Q. I am a couple of months out of a 3 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend. She says we lost the spark and have no chemistry anymore. I have been an emotional wreck for most of this period and my ex knows about it. A couple of weeks ago I decided ...
A. 14 October 2008: It could be either. You can only try.... (read in full...)
Does my ex still care, or was her jealousy just lingering attachment?
Q. I am a couple of months out of a 3 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend. She says we lost the spark and have no chemistry anymore. I have been an emotional wreck for most of this period and my ex knows about it. A couple of weeks ago I decided ...
A. 13 October 2008: It sounds like her jealousy has some lingering attachment to the fact you weren't doing nice things for her. She seems to be saying she resents the fact you went out of your way to be nice with this other woman but you gave up trying to be nice to ... (read in full...)
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