A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my bf broke up with me and he said "ill always love you"what does he really mean when he says that? does he even mean it or is he saying it to make himself not look like such a jerk? his reason for the breakup was that he didnt want to be in a relationship anymore, we were pretty serious
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 June 2013):
 It means nothing, it's just some politically correct bullshit that people feel they have to say to make the break up smoother ,less unpleasant and without hard feelings .
" I will always love you " would imply that he is still loving you NOW- which, he is not, if he loved you so much he'd still be with you.
In theory , you can love a person and not want to be with them . In practice, people manage to have such self restraint and such a grip on their feelings in exceptional cases, when the loved one is married / is going to jail / has a heavy addiction / a mental illness- some serious ,hard to change situation they feel they cannot cope with for a long or undetermined period of time.
But, if you are single and free of heavy baggage, same as he is , and he loves you same as you love him, why you should you both not want to be together ?
Because he does " not want a relationship " ? Oh please. Having a relationship with the one you really love is a blessing and a privilege, for which people is willing to fight, and make big sacrifices too. IF it feels like the right relationship.
He did not feel that he was in the right relationship with you, but he preferred to say that he has a problem with relationships , not with you, just because it is kinder and more diplomatic. But , you don't have to take it so literally.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (13 June 2013):
It means judge people by what they do, and not what they say. Goes for everyone, every age, both sexes. Everyone, all the time.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 June 2013):
 Looks like you could use a little interpretation of "guyspeak" here.....
IN this case, "I'll always love you" means that he is going to go on his merry way... and he knows that you MAY "go on your merry way"... but that YOU are really still quite enamored of him... and so those four words will keep you "in play" for him.... such that, sometime in the future, when he is experiencing a sexual drought, he can call you up and say, "Hey, (your name here), long time - no see -..... what are you up to these days?... Would you like to get together for (coffee, a drink, dinner, a movie...) and talk about old times?" His motive is that THAT will be a ready ice-breaker for HIM to get to YOU.... and he feels quite certain that - if he gets that far - you will put out for him, that night...
Is that perfectly clear?????
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 June 2013):
 You can love someone but not want to BE with them.
Whether he actually MEANS it or not is irrelevant for you as he doesn't WANT to BE with you in a relationship, so he can "love" you til the cows come home and it still won't make you feel better.
I would just (for YOUR own sake) cut all contact and not try and be "friends" with this guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, tell tez  +, writes (12 June 2013):
just play it cool with him, dont show him that your missing him cause that's the worse thing you could do! tell him that you will always love him as well and just give him space,maybe he will realize he has made a mistake and want you back! but that might not happen..so just move forward and dont look back! life is too short, ul meet someone else, even though you dont want that right now!itl happen when you least expect it :) all the best..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2013): It means nothing OP, it's just something you say at the end of a relationship to make the person feel better.
You know, so they don't feel unlovable even though your actions very clearly say you don't love them in a way that matters.
"that he didnt want to be in a relationship anymore"
Another "gentle let down", more accurately OP he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you at all and he's not going to specifically tell you why because he doesn't want to hurt you more than is already required.
He was just trying to spare your feelings really and let you down gently unfortunately by doing so he kind of left you hanging and wondering if there was a possibility he may return. There isn't.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2013): It means he believes at this moment in time, that you'll always have a place somewhere in his heart, but not the place of a woman he wants to have a relationship with.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (12 June 2013):
 He probably does love you, but he just doesn't want to be in a relationship with you...if he did, then he'd stay.
Maybe he feels tied down and wants to see if he can meet someone else or maybe he just wants time to pursue other things in his life.
It's really hard to hear someone tell you they love you and then see them walking away...but it happens a lot and in matters of the heart people generally just have to do what they gotta do.
Give him time and space, resist contacting him and don't accept any contact from him if it's going to mislead you or hurt you. Focus on yourself (cliche but worth it)and build other areas of your life so you can recover. Don't convince yourself that he will come back...live as if you know he won't ever come back because this will make you less dependant on him and stop you living in the past.
Whatever he said, his mind was set on leaving you...and that's what he has done...there is a reason and it's most likely he felt trapped or unsure about your relationship...so accept this as much as you can and allow your heart and mind to heal.
Hugs and good luck xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Read-the-signs +, writes (12 June 2013):
I think he has tried to spare your feelings but saying that, and by making out it's any relationship he doesn't want right now rather than one with you. I realise that you are feeling rejected and hurt and confused right now, but ultimately it will be better for you to move on from this man and live your life until the right one comes along.
Look after yourself and stay sociable and busy, time will pass and new opportunities will arise.
Good luck to you. x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2013): He meant he'll always love what you shared and that he will still care about you as he would do a good friend. He does not mean that he will always love you in a romantic way or he wouldn't have broken up with you.
He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship. But what he's really saying is he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
I know it's hard - but please don't hold out any hope for him to come back. Try to pick up the pieces and move on.
Good luck
...............................
|
