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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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A little primer on women and sex...
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
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25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Married but toying with fantasy of affair with colleague
Q. Wife and Work Colleague Hello everybody. I'm new around here and I need some non judgemental advice from you. (I posted this last night but in the wrong place, I think). I've been married for 15 years and we have two children. Our sex life has nev...
A. 3 July 2010: Did you ever actually work on your marriage, or did you just kind of hope things would get better?
I think you missed an opportunity to make things really good with your wife, but then, it's not my marriage. I mean, if you'd gone and got prof... (read in full...)
We tried a couple swap but he couldnt perform, and now he isnt speaking to me!
Q. A new man I have been dating asked if we could try a swap. A couple swap. I agreed, out of adventure, and because I wasn't in love with him. We have a NSA arrangement, but not just 100% sexual.He talked like I was steady GF, and acted like it wi...
A. 21 December 2009: I feel the need for a shower. I sincerely hope you don't reach out to this guy again--that might indicate he's not the only one who needs therapy, lol.
Hope you managed through the snow okay yourself!... (read in full...)
Is a woman's worth tied to her breast size?
Q. I have many issues with my body. I hate having small breasts, because men may accept small ones, but secretly they all want big! My boyfriend masturbates to big chested women. Also I don't have all the time in the world to exercise, sure I...
A. 27 October 2009: You are missing the point here. Code Warrior was illustrating a point. If you didn't want other people's input, then what are you doing on an advice site? I'm really curious why the only feedback you've given is to tell a very good aunt/uncle here ... (read in full...)
Is a woman's worth tied to her breast size?
Q. I have many issues with my body. I hate having small breasts, because men may accept small ones, but secretly they all want big! My boyfriend masturbates to big chested women. Also I don't have all the time in the world to exercise, sure I...
A. 27 October 2009: I'm sorry, is that a response from our poster? You just told Code Warrior that because he's a guy, you're not interested in reading his advice? Is that right?
If that is the case, then this isn't about your breasts at all. If you won't read a man'... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about my mom sexually
Q. My parents got divorced 13 years ago, and so i was forced to live at my mums during the week and my dads at the weekends. About 8 years ago, i needed to get a glass from the cupboard, but my mum was standing on the worktop in the way cleaning the ...
A. 26 October 2009: That's a cop-out answer. They would not lock you up, unless you'd committed a criminal act. Have you committed a criminal act? Or do you just have this very inappropriate obsession?
Have you tried hypnosis? Acupuncture? The rubberband (elastic band... (read in full...)
Is a woman's worth tied to her breast size?
Q. I have many issues with my body. I hate having small breasts, because men may accept small ones, but secretly they all want big! My boyfriend masturbates to big chested women. Also I don't have all the time in the world to exercise, sure I...
A. 26 October 2009: Okay, I promised myself I wasn't going to do this, but I can't help myself.
One of the reasons your question caught my eye was the 'breast size' bit. Look, my younger sister is having her final implants done tomorrow. Yep, she's enlisting in the ... (read in full...)
Is a woman's worth tied to her breast size?
Q. I have many issues with my body. I hate having small breasts, because men may accept small ones, but secretly they all want big! My boyfriend masturbates to big chested women. Also I don't have all the time in the world to exercise, sure I...
A. 26 October 2009: You're not really damning the entire male species based on your boyfriend, some cranially-challenged knuckleheads in class, and what some idiots write in a porn forum, I hope. You're generalizing to the extreme and allowing it to feed the "poor me ... (read in full...)
Should I look for the guest house or end the relationship?
Q. am a young guy of 22, i met this girl on the net. i asked her to send her picture to me and she refused. as time goes on, we see each other face to face.she's not the type i want because i need a reasonable and responsible girl. when we are ...
A. 26 October 2009: I would end the relationship, she sounds extremely suspicious and I expect wants to part you from your money. You don't know what kind of diseases you could catch from a girl who is promiscuous and likes to party as she describe. My guess is that ... (read in full...)
Is she really worried about things or just not turned on?
Q. My girlfriend is currently experiencing pains in her arms and legs. We still don't know the origin. She has not appeared interested in sex in the past few months. I wonder if these are connected, because there are other factors in our life, like my ...
A. 26 October 2009: Whew! Thanks for that clarification. I'd have to go with quiet-echo's analysis on this then. I expect your girlfriend just isn't feeling great about herself. When a woman doesn't feel good, it's very difficult to feel sexual. Our problem is our ... (read in full...)
What can happen if you do not get a yeast infection treated?
Q. I thought I had a yeast infection but I never got it checked up! 1.Is because I don't have health insurance 2.I thought after a while it would eventually clear up. But now I think that I should get it checked because it's very thick and I am ...
A. 26 October 2009: Go to www.plannedparenthood.org to find a low cost clinic near you. Take care.... (read in full...)
Is she really worried about things or just not turned on?
Q. My girlfriend is currently experiencing pains in her arms and legs. We still don't know the origin. She has not appeared interested in sex in the past few months. I wonder if these are connected, because there are other factors in our life, like my ...
A. 26 October 2009: She needs to get to a doctor as soon as possible. Pain is the body's way of telling you something is wrong. She could have a serious medical condition that needs treatment. Don't mess around with this. GET HER TO THE DOCTOR!!!! A list of potentia... (read in full...)
Is raising my voice to him a legitimate reason for his physical attacks on me?
Q. After being verbally beaten down - and occasionally physically attacked - I have nothing left except for a hollow-feeling body. After one year of being accused of being a wh*re, a liar, and a cheater I am, I finally started to fight back and t...
A. 26 October 2009: No. He is not justified to physically attack you because you raise your voice. The problem for you is that your thinking has been skewed by this relationship. He is a manipulator, a thug and he is not going to get "better."
Even if you keep your... (read in full...)
I like my sister in law in a sexual way! Please help!
Q. this is about my sister in law. we are quite friendly. we used to talk many things and are free to talk anything. first place i love her as my sister and i have respect for her. she is elder to my wife and me. many times i saw that she kind of expos...
A. 26 October 2009: Hi, you seem very interested in female members of your family. Perhaps it's just a phase of hypersexuality combined with some poor judgement? Perhaps if you consider what your father and mother would think of you if you ever acted on your desires, ... (read in full...)
I had sexual experiances with my aunt!
Q. it is long time back when i was a teen i used to get lot of sexual urges to ,my aunt. she was not a super beauty. we used to stay in the same house. i remember it started after when i noticed that she, when such a situation occurred, kept her brea...
A. 26 October 2009: Hi, you seem very interested in female members of your family. Perhaps it's just a phase of hypersexuality combined with some poor judgement? Perhaps if you consider what your father and mother would think of you if you ever acted on your desires, ... (read in full...)
Stamina problem
Q. I really hate having sex with my girlfriend because I have... stamina issues where i uh finish early. I really love her though and don't want to disappoint or lose her. What can I do?...
A. 25 October 2009: Learn how to give her her orgasm before you have intercourse, manually or orally. She'll be happy and then so will you. I think there's a book called "Ladies First" or something like that that might have some pointers.... (read in full...)
"I can't have a relationship with you right now". What does that mean?
Q. What does it mean when a guy says I cant have a relationship with you right now, because I have trust issues and everything Ive been through? He says that doesn't mean a year down the road that he wouldn't want a relationship with me, because he ...
A. 25 October 2009: I guess he doesn't want to put in the energy of having a full relationship. He's probably exhausted by the strain of a split. He's tender and aching and just wants to chill out. Don't get too invested in him just yet. And don't take it personally. ... (read in full...)
Was she jelouse that I got back with my ex?
Q. when my ex found out i had got back with my other ex she sounded suprised cause i was speaking to her on msn. anyway she kept asking how did this happen and she also wanted to become friends with my new girlfriend etc. then the next day she tells me ...
A. 25 October 2009: May I ask how old you are? Because you sound younger than 18-21.
It sounds to me as though there's a lot of easily hurt feelings and a lot of dramatic statements, like deleting people from msn and getting boyfriends that only last a few days, comp... (read in full...)
How can I keep from being jealous of my married lovers flirting with other women?
Q. I fear I have lost my married lover due to one jealous outburst in a year. I have always maintained complete discretion but last night I found myself angered by him talking openly with other women at a bar when I don't feel that I can even look at ...
A. 25 October 2009: I think the definition of an affair would suggest that it is a limited-time thing, that it has a shorter life-expectancy than a formal one such as marriage. So your expectations for it to last a long time are probably misplaced. His terms, his ... (read in full...)
Is he only with me because he likes my stuff?
Q. I just got in a new relationship and my boyfriend doesnt act like a boyfriend at all. Whenever he comes to my house hes always on my laptop which i understand since he doesnt have a computer at his house, and he likes to check his email and so ...
A. 24 October 2009: Guys can be pretty clumsy sometimes, and when they are in their teens, they're still learning about how to be in a relationship. He might still be embarrassed to be vocal about having a girlfriend in public and that's why he didn't say anything.
O... (read in full...)
How can I keep from being jealous of my married lovers flirting with other women?
Q. I fear I have lost my married lover due to one jealous outburst in a year. I have always maintained complete discretion but last night I found myself angered by him talking openly with other women at a bar when I don't feel that I can even look at ...
A. 24 October 2009: Good point there, Oldersister. The notion that her self-esteem is completely bound up in his approval, or lack of it, is something that I'm afraid is alien to me. I just never considered a married man as a potential dating partner. I don't care how ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my younger sister about sex?
Q. hi, I am elder brother and my sister is 2 years younger to me, and she behaves as if she is elder to me and knows more than me in the matter of sexual relationship. I want to help her in carrying out safe and good sexual relationship, bu...
A. 24 October 2009: I think this is going to be one of these instances of a deep cultural divide. I personally would leave her alone if I were you. She may have access to birth control information that you are not aware of. She also has the right to make her own ... (read in full...)
How can I keep from being jealous of my married lovers flirting with other women?
Q. I fear I have lost my married lover due to one jealous outburst in a year. I have always maintained complete discretion but last night I found myself angered by him talking openly with other women at a bar when I don't feel that I can even look at ...
A. 24 October 2009: If he broke up with you for that, he was looking for the exit already. You gave him the excuse by having a fit of jealousy. Basically, he's set the rules and you broke them. You're dealing with a whole other rulebook when you are seeing a married ... (read in full...)
Is it ever ok to give an ultimatum?
Q. Ok everyone I need your advice. Is it ever ok to give an ultimatum? I have been with my boyfriend for five years and I have had it. We have been in the same holding pattern for the last three to four years not moving forward not moving backward only ...
A. 24 October 2009: I didn't finish my story. I married him. He needed the ultimatum to move him along. I think it was just hard for him to make the mental transition from single guy to married man. Ask him now and he sheepishly admits he needed the kick in the ... (read in full...)
What make her so protective of me?
Q. Hi everyone, I hope I can get some insight because right now I am feeling a bit confused. So here goes. I met this teacher when I was 15. We are both females. Very quick, we became close. At the time I was going through some rough patch...
A. 23 October 2009: Without her input, we won't really ever know. We can only speculate. Perhaps she saw you as a daughter and wanted to help you succeed in life. Perhaps she likes rescuing wounded birds and helping to patch them together and make them well enough to ... (read in full...)
Suspicious acts!
Q. If my boyfriend shaves before he sees his female co-worker, is he pursueing her? [Moderator note: The following was posted as a seperate question on the same topic from the same user] My live in boyfriend shaves everytime he is going to work with...
A. 23 October 2009: I'll tell you something, my husband likes to be admired by other women, or at least likes to think other women find him attractive. It makes him feel good about himself and since I think he IS attractive, I don't mind most of the time. There are a ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend lying when he says he doesn't want me to get a boob job?
Q. Okay I want an HONEST answer from the guys here. I have small breasts, like B cup or so. There is enough there for a bit more than a handful, and I can make them look bigger with a push up bra but I hate to do that because I am aware that I am ...
A. 23 October 2009: Do you take care of your hair? As in wash it, style it, get it cut, wear it up? Isn't that kinda faking it? Do you ever wear foundation or mascara? Wouldn't that be faking it too?
Has it ever dawned on you that some of these boobs you're jeal... (read in full...)
Married but toying with fantasy of affair with colleague
Q. Wife and Work Colleague Hello everybody. I'm new around here and I need some non judgemental advice from you. (I posted this last night but in the wrong place, I think). I've been married for 15 years and we have two children. Our sex life has nev...
A. 23 October 2009: Hi, you have managed to get yourself into a very dark place in your marriage, haven't you? Look, I think you need to face the fact that having an affair (yours or hers) has done and will do nothing to fix the fundamental problem: you and your wife ... (read in full...)
Is it ever ok to give an ultimatum?
Q. Ok everyone I need your advice. Is it ever ok to give an ultimatum? I have been with my boyfriend for five years and I have had it. We have been in the same holding pattern for the last three to four years not moving forward not moving backward only ...
A. 23 October 2009: Forgot to mention my thought on the dog: he does have to find another place to take care of it. You need some time with no contact to help get you over the initial post-breakup stress. I think it's part of the emotional blackmail. You're doing him a ... (read in full...)
I want someone to adopt my baby!
Q. hello,am new here and i will just want to find out certain things,am 8 months 3 days pregnant and i have being having this thinking in my head for some time now,it has being a hard decision to make but i think am reay for this now,i will want to ...
A. 23 October 2009: A very difficult decision, and one that you should make only after carefully considering all the factors that affect you and your life. If you are experiencing fear that is paralyzing you or affecting your life to such an extent that you are having ... (read in full...)
Is it ever ok to give an ultimatum?
Q. Ok everyone I need your advice. Is it ever ok to give an ultimatum? I have been with my boyfriend for five years and I have had it. We have been in the same holding pattern for the last three to four years not moving forward not moving backward only ...
A. 23 October 2009: I think you are doing the right thing for yourself at this time. This isn't about him being a bad person or you being an impatient person--this is about timing and what you think your path to your future looks like.
He's fine with things as they... (read in full...)
I was sexually abused by a family member, how do I tell my family?
Q. I'm 20 years old and from the age of 5 until i was 11 i was sexually abused by a family member. I want to tell my family but i have no idea how to. I'm scared, i don't want them to hate me. This will ruin my family but i need to get it out. It w...
A. 23 October 2009: Hi, I'm sorry you have to go through the second trauma of having to tell your family. I have no idea how best to do this with your family, as I understand it, many families do not want to know or cannot cope with a revelation like this. They may not ... (read in full...)
Need good remedies and/or painkillers advice for menstruation!
Q. Hey, this isn't really a relationship problem but I know all the aunts have great advice. The thing is, next week I'm off do do work experience for the whole week during my half term, but I'm due on my period either Sunday/Monday. Like many girls I ...
A. 22 October 2009: Good advice for you so far. My advice is to get out ahead of the pain. Start your painkiller at least 24 hours before you expect your period. Take the recommended dose. Exercise vigorously if you are physically able to do so. Take very little ... (read in full...)
My mom kicked me out and I have no idea where to go.
Q. Hey, I'm 16 (turning 17 in January) and my mom kicked me out. I don't know what to do because my Dad just got kicked out too (sensing a theme anyone?) and he lives with his mom so there's no room for me. This is the first night so I have no idea ...
A. 22 October 2009: How are you doing? Have you found help? Please follow up with us so we don't worry about you. If you can tell us which state you live in, that can help us find resources for you.
Take care.... (read in full...)
Body Acne Problems
Q. [WARNING GROSS STORY. SORRY!] This is So embarrassing. So, I REALLY like this boy. and we are currently dating. He tells me I'm pretty but I feel like I'm the ugliest girl in the world. This is because I have horrible skin. I have acne and stuff, ...
A. 22 October 2009: Let me add to the aunts who are telling you to see a professional, and STOP picking and DON'T apply ANYTHING without a doctor's approval. Why do I say that? Well, when I was in my 30s, I wound up with some adult-onset acne and rosacea on my face. I ... (read in full...)
I wanna lose weight... fast.
Q. I wanna lose weight... fast. What is a way I can lose a lot of body fat and tone my body up fast?...
A. 22 October 2009: The only things I can think of are liposuction and boot camp. I think the military has a pretty strict age limit though, and unless you have some serious mounds of fat, no plastic surgeon will want to suck the fat cells out of still maturing body. I ... (read in full...)
I hate the 'terms' we are on. Do I stay or move on?
Q. I had been seeing this guy for a little over 2 years. Back in July he had told me it was over. It ended because during the 2 years I was seeing him, he was engaged then got married, and well yes i was the other woman. Him and his "now former ...
A. 22 October 2009: If I were in your shoes, no question. Move on. This guy put you low on his priority list, he liked you enough to sleep with you but not enough to marry you. He didn't even like you enough to NOT get married to the other woman. What you had with him ... (read in full...)
My mom kicked me out and I have no idea where to go.
Q. Hey, I'm 16 (turning 17 in January) and my mom kicked me out. I don't know what to do because my Dad just got kicked out too (sensing a theme anyone?) and he lives with his mom so there's no room for me. This is the first night so I have no idea ...
A. 21 October 2009: Whose place is it? Your mother's? Or your parents together? I'd go to the school counselor tomorrow morning, first thing, and tell him or her what your situation is. There should be a local office on child services, call them too.
I think anot... (read in full...)
Women seem to dislike nice guys!
Q. I asked this girl out i have like for a long time a month or so ago and she said no and said she didn't like me like that, and that we had been friends for to long and thought it may end up kind of awkward. Well she could tell it sort of aggravated, ...
A. 21 October 2009: An uncle posted this on another thread and I found it good food for thought. Clingy doormat is not "nice" nor is one appealling as a date, basically.
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml
It's a bit over the top but perhaps ... (read in full...)
Alone and pregnant while the father of the baby is out drinking every weekend sleeping with other women!
Q. Im ten weeks pregnant. Im not in a relationship with the father, I was seeing him for a short while but it was never serious. However, he is happy about it and says he will support me and the child. I know he will be a good dad. The only thing that ...
A. 7 October 2009: Your feelings are understandable, the problem for us giving advice is that there's not a whole lot you can do to change the reason you have them. Have you had an actual face-to-face meeting with him since you found out about the pregnancy?
He soun... (read in full...)
Will he know if I'm a virgin
Q. im seeing this lad and i told him im not a virgin, and we both want to have sex i dont want him to kno that im a virgin will he find out after having sex with me?? i cant tell him im a virgin either but i use tampons and ive been fingerd a few times ...
A. 7 October 2009: So you're already lying to this guy? Does he know how old you are? because if you're lying about that too, you're trying to make him a criminal. That shows poor judgement and selfishness.
To answer your question, yes, it's quite likely he'll real... (read in full...)
I'm desperate for a baby - is this man a suitable father or should I look elswhere?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now - I am 34, my boyfriend is 39 - we are in love and happy. However I would love to get married and have a family but, although he is very loving towards me, he doesn't talk about the future. He ...
A. 7 October 2009: I think at this point, you can tell him what YOU expect in a relationship, i.e. Marriage and children. While you may love him, if he's not aiming at the same thngs, you're fundamentally incompatible. He's a 40 (nearly) bachelor? He doesn't sound ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to sit with a bunch of guys I don't know and watch porn? Who's in the wrong here?
Q. Last night my bf started yelling at me heaps because when I met his friends I was quiet and shy. However, I do feel I had good reasons for acting the way I did. Here is why: 1. I didnt even technically "meet them". I mean, he didn't introduc...
A. 7 October 2009: Your boyfriend has just demonstrated to you that you and he are not compatible when it comes to your friends. This speaks volumes about his values. Don't ignore this in trying to figure out what to do. If you don't like his friends, and they treat ... (read in full...)
My husband slept with my sister! How do I forgive and forget?
Q. so i have a question can you ever get over and forgive your husband of 7 and a half years with 5 kids for cheating on you with your sister ? With u and his baby in the same room sleeping. and then not telling u all the story. Telling you bits and ...
A. 7 October 2009: Right, the two arguing aunts can stop right now. Take it private if you'd like. There is no need to get snarky or nasty. If you don't like someone's advice, keep it to yourself, unless what they're proposing is illegal or dangerous, or is to your ... (read in full...)
Should I worry about getting pregnant even though we have been having unprotected sex for a while now?
Q. me and my bf have sex usually 4 times a week, but almost every time it is more than once a day in those 4 days, so its more like 7 or 8 times a week. i get my period fairly regularly. we do not use condoms or any sort of birth control. he just pulls ...
A. 6 October 2009: Do you think of yourself as a sensible person? Are you looking to get yelled at for being so cavalier with your health and your future? Have you prepared for a baby? Are you prepared to learn that you can't have a baby because of a hidden infection? ... (read in full...)
We tried a couple swap but he couldnt perform, and now he isnt speaking to me!
Q. A new man I have been dating asked if we could try a swap. A couple swap. I agreed, out of adventure, and because I wasn't in love with him. We have a NSA arrangement, but not just 100% sexual.He talked like I was steady GF, and acted like it wi...
A. 6 October 2009: You are wasting precious daylight, time, energy and brain cells on a man who simply isn't worth any of your lifetime allotment of those things. Why would you make his problem into yours? Or allow him to dump it on you?
Raise your right hand, fing... (read in full...)
We tried a couple swap but he couldnt perform, and now he isnt speaking to me!
Q. A new man I have been dating asked if we could try a swap. A couple swap. I agreed, out of adventure, and because I wasn't in love with him. We have a NSA arrangement, but not just 100% sexual.He talked like I was steady GF, and acted like it wi...
A. 5 October 2009: He dumped you via IM? After you tried this swap with him at his request? HA! He's pathetic, a pathetic loser, a cowardly pathetic loser! (I'm hearing the chicken "bawk bawk BAWK" in my head.) I feel kinda sorry for him...he's demonstrated he's not ... (read in full...)
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