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*isha-1

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Hi there!

Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.

I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman

If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)

Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle

All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama

"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain

I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html

http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/

So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.

The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.

If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html

If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.

You have my permission to say “no.”

If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.

There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’

Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.

Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.

Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.

I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.

I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html

More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm

I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171

Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.

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< Prev 164 165 166 167 168169170 171 172 173 174 Next > [240 pages, 9550 answers]

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...

A. 13 December 2009: You don't actually have to go to school physically to get a diploma. Check out this example from Missouri: http://www.gedonlineclass.com/ There's no cost to enroll there if you are a Missouri resident, and I think that would be the case in othe... (read in full...)

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

A. 11 December 2009: Here are some numbers for you to call to find that help. 1-800-799-SAFE — a confidential hotline, to speak with a counselor in private, toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN — to reach your local Planned Parenthood health center for support and local referr... (read in full...)

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

A. 11 December 2009: The school's guidance counselor should have some help for children in your situation; you are not the first child to have unstable parents, nor will you be the last. The key is to tap the help that's available for you out there, and to do that, you ... (read in full...)

Does she feel masturbating is wrong?

Q. Dear readers, how do I get my girlfriend to masturbate... I've told her to try it several times and said she didn't feel anything. She says she only feels it when I do it. She also doesn't like putting her finger in herself... does she not enjoy ma...

A. 11 December 2009: The G-spot has been blown out of proportion, I think, by people who want a "magic button" that guarantees orgasms. Unfortunately, that is not how it works for many women. From what you've written about your girlfriend, she is not comfortable with... (read in full...)

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

A. 11 December 2009: So there are no good role models for you in the family, you are doing it for yourself. Wow, that's a lot of responsibility. He gets so mad he actually blacks out? That must be scary. What did the doctor say about it? In my opinion, you should w... (read in full...)

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

A. 11 December 2009: I'm going to be honest with you now. I see more red flags here than I am comfortable with. Your family relationships are unstable, so there's no safety net for you. That you are not liked by stepparents doesn't seem to me to be a big enough reason ... (read in full...)

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

A. 11 December 2009: Sorry, I just posted that before I saw your latest followup. Which leads to more questions. Why did you get 'kicked out'? May I say that if you are living with his grandmother you are not getting by on one paycheck. How old is he? He gets angry... (read in full...)

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

A. 11 December 2009: Sorry, I realized I have a few more questions for you. What do you think a woman's place in a marriage is? What do you mean by 'keeping him happy'? Is he unhappy? If he is, why? Did you 'break up' with your friends or just stop calling them... (read in full...)

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

A. 11 December 2009: What do YOU think a woman's place is?... (read in full...)

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

A. 11 December 2009: I'm sorry, did you say you don't have any friends? That he doesn't want you to have a job? And that you're not sure you're IN love with your fiance? What happened to your friends? What is his reason for you not having a job? Those are very impo... (read in full...)

Is he just using me if he doesn't want to marry me?

Q. I have been with this man for going on three years,he shows me in many ways that he truely loves me,but he wont marry me or even make plans,he just tells me we cant aford it.that makes me think all he wants is a clean house to come home to and ...

A. 11 December 2009: I wondered if that might have been the case. Well, to our couple, I guess it's to the both of you now, I just want to say something that I feel very strongly. If you have been together for this long, then by now you should know and understand each... (read in full...)

My ice cream craving!!!

Q. Why do I have a craving of ice-cream so much? I have a bowl to the rim every day and that's not enough for me? Is this normal?...

A. 10 December 2009: At your age, I ran through a phase where I ate a Powerhouse bar every single day. I have no idea if they still make them, but my goodness, I can still taste them in my memory. My guess is that you need some extra calcium and your body has figu... (read in full...)

Is he just using me if he doesn't want to marry me?

A. 10 December 2009: ???? Well, that follow up was confusing. Is this the man?... (read in full...)

Is my brain my problem?

Q. I get answers saying that it's a psychological thing in my brain - the reason why I dont get erections. Is that true? If so what can I do to stop worrying about my penis size because I think that since I'm not 6 inches erect I'm 5 and a half erect, ...

A. 10 December 2009: The only way to be sure: 1. See your doctor for a physical 2. Stop watching porn for a while 3. Stop having sex for a while 4. Stop masturbating for a while 5. See what happens You keep asking the same question over and over again. You obviousl... (read in full...)

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

A. 10 December 2009: Okay, thank you for your followup. I guess my reaction is to think that you are still a bit young to be contemplating marriage just yet. This is underscored by your uncertainty as to the nature of your feelings for your ex. I think someone who is ... (read in full...)

Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?

A. 10 December 2009: Before I answer, how old are you? The age range is 16-17. Is that correct?... (read in full...)

What are causing these pains in my back and my stomach?

Q. I am having really bad pains in my back and in my stomach it feels like I kinda have real bad gas in my back it even hurts when I breathe in too hard. Now I been having symphtoms of a bladder infection so I thought this was what I had. I have been ...

A. 10 December 2009: Sweetie, you could have a very nasty infection that will wind you up in the hospital. Stop being immature and stupid and CALL THE DAMN DOCTOR! Sorry for shouting but you are taking absolutely insane chances with your health and this could be some... (read in full...)

He is denying he's my boyfriend because he and his other girlfriend are still together!

Q. I am in a relationship that i do not understand.I have a boyfriend but he is denying that he is my boyfriend because he has a girlfriend before me and they are still together. I have slept with him and i love him but he refuses to tell me how he f...

A. 10 December 2009: I'm sorry, did you write that he does not think of himself as your boyfriend? And that he has a girlfriend? Should you leave him? Yes. Should you tell her? No, I think that's just being hurtful because you are being hurt. You two are not in a rela... (read in full...)

I want to ask a co worker on a date, but have been told its a bad idea

Q. For the last 2 years I have had this crush on this girl from my job and she has had a crush on me as well. Recently she ended her relationship with her long time boyfriend due to some ongoing problems. I really want to date her but I am being told ...

A. 10 December 2009: No, it's not wrong to want to keep some privacy from your best friend. He's not your spouse or a parent, you don't owe him every detail of your life. I'm sorry if his feelings are hurt, but he should be thinking of YOUR feelings, which are growing ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend won't participate in our relationship

Q. Hi, My boyfriend won't participate in the relationship. refuses to answer any of my questions such as how did you feel about me when we met or your being very distant and always just doing what you want without any consideration of us. He spe...

A. 10 December 2009: I think he's made it pretty clear that you're getting all you are going to get from him in terms of the relationship. If it doesn't work for you, then I think it is time you move on. You sound very unhappy and as though the balance is not the way ... (read in full...)

My FWB is acting very strangely, unsure how to proceed

Q. Hello! Currently I have been having troubles with a male friend/ex bf and wanted to gain some insight from it. My friend and I date when we were very young (15-16) for about it year. He ended up cheating on me, I forgave him and he ended up brea...

A. 10 December 2009: He told you he didn't want a relationship with you, and you've now complicated things by telling him you want more. He's not comfortable with that and is avoiding the whole issue. He basically told you from the get go that he's in it for the sex ... (read in full...)

No period for 2 months--am I pregnant?

Q. Well, last October me and my boyfriend had sex. I am getting a little bit worried that I may be pregnant. I havent had my period for two whole stinkin months!!! Could i be pregnant? I'm 14 and I can barely take care of myself. Help please?...

A. 10 December 2009: You have to go get a pregnancy test and follow the instructions. If that is negative, then you need to see your doctor, ask your mom to make an appointment. It may just be teenage fluctuating hormones and you're fine, but we are not doctors and ... (read in full...)

Weak erections

Q. Why cant the porn I watch on the internet get me hard like before? When my girlfriend said she was gunna give me handjobs and blowjobs I just stopped getting really hard when I watch porn. Why is this? and will eating bananas and fish help my ...

A. 10 December 2009: There may be a medical reason for your symptoms. Go get checked out by your doctor. High blood pressure, diabetes, vascular disease, drugs, hormonal imbalances are just a few possibilities. Take care.... (read in full...)

What's right for my partner in regards to size?

Q. Many people have already asked about penis size and what a girl considers to be too big or too small; however there is one key piece of information that's missing from those posts. That question is, how big is the girl in question. Now, for the sake...

A. 10 December 2009: You're asking the entire female population to agree on one answer to that question? Ha! We are individuals, with individual tastes, desires, wants and fantasies. SOME women like x, SOME women like y, and SOME women like z. You cannot generalize on ... (read in full...)

What's right for my partner in regards to size?

A. 10 December 2009: Hey, I never said intercourse didn't feel good. I think the woman to ask about that 'deeper deeper' is the one you're in bed with.... (read in full...)

What's right for my partner in regards to size?

A. 10 December 2009: To the anon male whose wife couldn't have orgasms, period. If she couldn't give herself an orgasm, a 7 inch penis probably wouldn't have either. So cut yourself a break. And to our OP, good on ya! Have fun!... (read in full...)

Is this guy worth a second date?

Q. pls help me, im a virgin n never been in relatnshps..nw my bf is askin fr a second date....on d first he lockd hs car n grabd my breast n kissed forcibly n tried 2 remove my top.i cried n he left me. he cld n said sry but continues wid horny mesages ...

A. 9 December 2009: He is not worth a second date. He's a pathetic creature and not worthy of your time.... (read in full...)

What's right for my partner in regards to size?

A. 9 December 2009: Sorry, just saw that last followup. I'm sorry, did you say you were getting advice about women's sexuality and orgasms from men's forums? *!* Sorry, I just came back from wiping my eyes. Hee! *snort* Sorry. The estimated percentage of women who re... (read in full...)

What's right for my partner in regards to size?

A. 9 December 2009: It is an interesting question, Q. Sorry for the tone. It was meant to be funny but came across bitchy. My bad.... (read in full...)

What's right for my partner in regards to size?

A. 9 December 2009: Q, you gotta get out more. Peepee. Veejay. That better?... (read in full...)

Alot of sex sometimes without condom equals pregnancy?

Q. My boyfriend and i used the pull out method ,but one night we did it several times, and after he pulled out i would give him a hand job then an hour or less later we did it again. I am not really sure how long its been since that night and we have ...

A. 9 December 2009: Here are the statistics regarding the effectiveness of the withdrawal method: "Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant each year if they don't always do it correctly" (plannedparenthood.org) That's a little over... (read in full...)

I want to ask a co worker on a date, but have been told its a bad idea

A. 9 December 2009: No, you shouldn't have to make that decision. Tell him you appreciate his input but that you have done your apprenticeship long enough and are ready for the dating world. What does this guy do that he's so controlling? I'm curious. And would he be c... (read in full...)

What's right for my partner in regards to size?

A. 9 December 2009: You're putting a lot of pressure on the her (and you) to expect she HAS to orgasm through penetrative sex alone. Sorry, but the back 2/3 of the vagina has essentially zero pleasure receptors, the front third, some, the most hotwired part of a ... (read in full...)

I want to ask a co worker on a date, but have been told its a bad idea

A. 9 December 2009: Why is this guy so invested in your love life? That seems awfully smothering to me. It's your decision, right? So why is he giving you a hard time? Have you picked badly in the past, and this guy is watching out for you? Just being 'stuck up' does... (read in full...)

Masturbating in her sleep???

Q. Is it possible that my girlfriend just masturbates in her sleep? A few times now I have woken up to the my girlfriend moving her hand quickly under the covers over her vagina. She doesnt sleep fully naked. I have asked her if she was mastur...

A. 9 December 2009: It sounds like you're becoming a bit more self-aware. I expect the answer will become evident if you give it some time. And try not to take it personally, if it is what I suspect, that it is in her sleep. If it were something she did while cons... (read in full...)

G/f asked me to clean house, I did, and now she's mad!

Q. Alright, I was hinted at by my girlfriend to clean the house. So, I did. All of her crap that was just hanging out around the house I heaped on her bed. (I learned a long time ago to never put away another person's things because they NEV...

A. 9 December 2009: She's not angry about you cleaning the house. She's angry about something else. It may be rational, or from your last sentence, it may be completely irrational. Can you have a calm and constructive discussion with her about anything or does it all ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with being unattractive?

Q. I know this is going to sound shallow, but I can't help it. I'm really feeling sad about my appearance. I LONG to be attractive and have a nice figure, but, let's face it, I'm too fat. I am at the point where I feel depressed all the time aobu...

A. 9 December 2009: You’re trapped in negative thinking. Get to the doctor ASAP for a full evaluation and lifestyle change advice. You might be clinically depressed and your brain chemistry is screwed up causing this negative cycle. I know this is possible because that ... (read in full...)

Masturbating in her sleep???

A. 9 December 2009: I would be very surprised if she carried on masturbating knowingly after you asked her about it. If you can't take her word for it, then maybe you do have too deep a trust issue. Or I could be completely wrong and she is waiting until she thin... (read in full...)

G/f asked me to clean house, I did, and now she's mad!

A. 9 December 2009: Did you scrub the toilet, sink, tub and/or shower, wash the bathroom floor, launder the towels? Did you vaccuum the entire house after dusting it? Did you scrub the kitchen sink, wipe down the cabinets, clean the countertop and the dirty dishes ... (read in full...)

I know I don't love him but should I sacrifice my happiness?

Q. Hey everyone, I hope that someone out there might have some helpful advice... I have been married for about 4 yrs and have a 5 yr old son from a previous relationship that went sour...My husband has been my sons father since he was 8 months old they ...

A. 8 December 2009: I'm with oldersister. You haven't even begun a fight to save the marriage. You've given up. On a great guy, and from the sound of it, one who is working very very hard to provide for you and the children. What do you argue about? And by inti... (read in full...)

I want to ask a co worker on a date, but have been told its a bad idea

A. 8 December 2009: Is your friend willing to be wrong? I mean, would he be able to give her a chance? Or has he thrown up his walls and will not budge? At any rate, this is all moot if she doesn't go out on a date with you. I don't know how much interaction she and ... (read in full...)

Does my girlfriend love or hate me?

Q. umm .. i am a male aged 24 and i have just recently got my first girlfriend at age 23. my girlfriend lives in a forain country at this time. although i have not physically met her i still love her. i have many problams with anxiety and stress t...

A. 8 December 2009: Okay, the thing is that you don't really have a girlfriend here, you have a long distance penpal, if you two have never met. I'm sorry, but what you've got built there is a fantasy in your head. She doesn't respond to you in the same way because she ... (read in full...)

Masturbating in her sleep???

A. 8 December 2009: That's odd, I don't recall ever telling a man he couldn't look at porn if he so chose. Did I sleep-write something? I've woken up in the middle of having an orgasm; does that mean I've been masturbating? I have no earthly idea, as there was no one ... (read in full...)

I want to ask a co worker on a date, but have been told its a bad idea

A. 7 December 2009: What didn't he like about her?... (read in full...)