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*isha-1 agony aunt

*isha-1

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Hi there!

Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.

I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman

If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)

Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle

All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama

"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain

I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html

http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/

So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.

The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.

If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html

If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.

You have my permission to say “no.”

If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.

There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’

Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.

Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.

Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.

I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.

I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html

More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm

I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171

Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.

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Questions to ask before getting married!

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24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...

Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!

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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...

More than one way to get up the Duff!!

This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...

< Prev160161162163164165166167168169170Next > [240 pages, 9550 answers]

I think my girlfriend likes another guy more than just friends.

Q.   Dear readers, i’m with my girl friend a logn time –maybe 3 years, and everything wen well sinc from october she went to study in another city, and this will happen till mai.At the beggining it ws hard, and we were happing,only the last 10 days we ...

A.   21 April 2010: I'm happy to hear that she is reaching out to you! You have to give her space to breathe, give her time to miss you and relax. She loves you, she doesn't want to be your entire world, if that makes sense. You're not being cold to her, you are givi... (read in full...)

I think my girlfriend likes another guy more than just friends.

Q.   Dear readers, i’m with my girl friend a logn time –maybe 3 years, and everything wen well sinc from october she went to study in another city, and this will happen till mai.At the beggining it ws hard, and we were happing,only the last 10 days we ...

A.   20 April 2010: Hi Luter, I have had a chance to read your followup. In rereading your question, I see that she returns in May, is that correct? So you only have one month to go, before she is back? I think you are doing your best to manage your anxiety about this... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   7 April 2010: May I just say, as I rejoin this thread, ahem, Not My Name, that was AWESOME. OP (that's original poster, in case you were wondering why you're expected to answer to a name from The Andy Griffith Show), I applaud you for having the cojones to come... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   7 April 2010: There is a solution to your problem. It's called integrity. Live with it. And now, I have done what I can here, so now I say goodnight, Gracie. ... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   7 April 2010: Sorry, ha! You've just described them as 34C and 36C and you think you're treating them with respect! Ha! Oh dear, you really are disconnected from anyone's feelings but your own, aren't you? You're lying to them, aren't you? You may think you trea... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   6 April 2010: I agree that there is a deeper psychological complex or syndrome or disorder here, if this is what happens to him. OP, I think it's time you have a discussion with your parents, at least one of your parents and tell them you have some issues you ... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   6 April 2010: And thank you for using condoms. Your responsibility in that area now may save some girls from future cervical cancer or chronic pelvic inflammatory disease or impaired fertility. That is a responsible thing to do, and I applaud you for recognizing ... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   6 April 2010: Clearly, I'm not getting my point across. You are fine with sex, you have no problem having it (once) with the girl. The girls who have no expectations beyond having sex with you once will have no problem with you. You're the one who has a girl... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   6 April 2010: You would like us to show compassion, I understand that. Can you show compassion to these girls? Condoms? Do you get that if you are honest up front about this issue you won't be tagged as a user? Do you want to fix this issue or are you just irr... (read in full...)

My wife thinks I drink too much, do I?

Q.   I am married and 47 years old and have owned my own professional business for 16 years. For years I managed the stress and anxiety of running my own business by relaxing with a few drinks at the end of each busy day. Over the years my drinking ...

A.   6 April 2010: What if the word was "problem drinker" instead? Would that make you feel better? I think it's semantics now, and I expect the argument centers around whether or not you can start to enjoy that glass of wine again. Just to cut the stress. I'm real... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   5 April 2010: Q, you are absolutely right. There is a little of this guy in all the men we know. We know you THINK like this, but you've been smartened up and some of you can actually look at things from the side of the person who has the breasts growing from the ... (read in full...)

He was too rough and now I'm bleeding

Q.   I had sex with this guy on saturday. He likes to use his fingers and he went a bit rough and deep he tried to put his fist in and i was bleeding.. He also said there was like a wall there.. I have been spot bleeding since saturday and dont know why? ...

A.   5 April 2010: He likes to use his fingers and go a bit rough and deep? What do YOU like? Do YOU like that? It's YOUR body, you have to be the one who takes care of it. Clearly, this man is not going to. Of course you're bleeding, you've had an item larger than... (read in full...)

Should I go for lunch with my teacher?

Q.   Just to give you an insight: A principal I had in middle school agreed to go out to lunch with me when I asked him awhile back. We exchanged numbers and we’ve texted off and on these past couple of months. (Not like crazy, just to set up a day when ...

A.   5 April 2010: I don't know. This could be completely innocent and he's just a nice guy who cares about an old student, but my feeing is that the impropriety of it is a show-stopper. Even if there's no hidden agenda on either side, just having this meeting could ... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   5 April 2010: "Why is she so pissed? I don't try to deceive anyone." Actually, you do. You don't tell them that you never "do" anyone twice. Lie of omission. Big lie. Big fat lie. So don't pretend you're not lying or deceiving them. You are. So then, you ARE ... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   5 April 2010: Condoms? Empathy?... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   5 April 2010: I'm sure the one with the big nipples would be thrilled that her private details are being shared with us here on DC. I think the problem you have is that you're so afraid of maybe having someone rely on you or come to have expectations of you in a ... (read in full...)

I'm too scared to snog!

Q.   hi i have this boyfriend, but im to scared to snog him everyone is telling me to and i dont no what to do but the thing is i have never snogged someone before. please help, and write back to me...

A.   5 April 2010: Hi there! How old are you? Are you really 18-21? If you're feeling too scared to snog, then I think you're not really ready. So don't feel pressured to do it, okay? Friends who dare you to do things you don't want or need to do aren't very nice... (read in full...)

I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!

Q.   I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...

A.   5 April 2010: It's pretty clear what he thinks about the girls. He calls them not by name but by bra size.... (read in full...)

Things got messed up and I'm unsure how to proceed now?

Q.   Recently I got this guy that I really liked number, so then I called it. We ended up sending each other pictures and having phone sex. Now this was a HUGE shock for me because Ive liked this guy for 3 going on 4 years. Also he was more in the ...

A.   5 April 2010: Sorry, just to doublecheck this. This guy has a girlfriend and is having phone sex with you? You sent pictures to each other--what kind of pictures? Then you and he made plans to meet up and "do stuff"--what kind of stuff? And you just want to be ... (read in full...)

Health issue after sex--anyone have this problem??

Q.   I had sex for the first time two days ago. I had a septate hymen, and breaking it was significantly less painful than I was expecting it to be. There was only a small amount of blood. But now there is a swollen bloody cord of flesh poking out of my ...

A.   5 April 2010: When you made the gyno appointment, did you tell them that you had a "swollen bloody cord of flesh poking out" of your vagina? I think you are probably right to be concerned. I would imagine that "cord" could become infected. I would call the doct... (read in full...)

My g/f wants me to skip my brother's wedding for our anniversary

Q.   Dear readers, I have quite the tricky situation on my hands and I would like to know what you guys would do if you were in my situation. Here it goes. Me and my girlfriend began dating on October 8th, 2008. We've been relatively okay, except we ...

A.   5 April 2010: A second year anniversary of dating vs. being the best man in your brother's wedding? No contest. Wish her well as she goes off into the sunset and breathe a sigh of relief as she stomps off. Seriously, why are you tolerating this kind of ultimatum ... (read in full...)

I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for months,but I did take 3 contraceptive pills at once, could I be pregnant?

Q.   im a bit confused.... 2 days before i was due on my period i took 3 conterception pills in one night, i heard that by doing that it can delay your period for a couple of days, is that true? but im now 5 days late on my period, these past few m...

A.   3 April 2010: Good luck to you! I'm sure pregnancy isn't too much of a shock, as you were kind of going for it with the unprotected sex bit. So best wishes for a healthy pregnancy and a new family! I can't help you with the pregnancy bit but I know we have other ... (read in full...)

I think my girlfriend likes another guy more than just friends.

Q.   Dear readers, i’m with my girl friend a logn time –maybe 3 years, and everything wen well sinc from october she went to study in another city, and this will happen till mai.At the beggining it ws hard, and we were happing,only the last 10 days we ...

A.   3 April 2010: Okay, Luter, the picture is clearer for me now. I think you do not have to worry very much. A little is okay, too much is unnecessary and will damage your relationship with her. She sounds to me as though she is telling the truth. She didn't have to ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend gave weird answer to my money questions and now I'm confused!

Q.   i m in a commited relationship...its a ldr..well jst for fun i asked my bf.. How do you think a woman and a man in a relationship should handle money together? n the reply which he gave i found completely irrelevant...he said that Money org...

A.   2 April 2010: If you want money to spend, perhaps you should consider getting a really fine education so you can earn your own, rather than worry how to spend a hypothetical husband-to-be's hard earned cash. With all due respect, my dear, you still have some grow... (read in full...)

Why is my husband being so nasty?

Q.   Hi there Agony Aunts and Uncles. My Agony is my husband who keeps telling me I have 'large saggy breasts' and also that my upper lip and face is looking 'old and haggard'. I am feeling so down and so I decided to get a boob job done. The doctor ...

A.   2 April 2010: Oh god, you have to leave. "Fuck off" and "bitch"? Anger management problems? You have to leave and take your son with you. http://www.womensaid.org.uk/ They might have some useful resources for you on that website. One comment I have about these ... (read in full...)

I'm 13 and want to have a baby and have even saved up the money for it!

Q.   helloo please could you help me! i realy want a baby and i'm 13 but i will be 14 if i have a baby all my mates are sick and tired of me going on about it. i have told my boyfriend and he agrees with me 100% he wants a baby and he has s...

A.   2 April 2010: The reason that the teen mums aren't on here is that they don't have time for themselves, for the luxury of sitting around and just goofing around on the computer. The ones who post here, "I'm 14 and pregnant" wind up having no time to come back and ... (read in full...)

I haven't forgiven my mother for grounding me when I was 12!

Q.   I am a 23 year old, married, new mom. My mother contacted my husband after the baby was born and is wanting to get together. Now, he is pressing me to have my mom in our lives. I have not been on speaking terms with my mom for years. When I w...

A.   2 April 2010: Wow, you really reacted strongly to this situation. Obviously you deserved an apology, but your complete rejection of your mother for this seems to me to be overkill. And to have kept this anger fueled and fed for so long? That's really a bit ... (read in full...)

I just want to know how long before I feel whole again?

Q.   I have written here in the past because my husband was going through some very troubled times. I thought I had been living with an alcoholic only to recently find out he has borderline personality disorder which caused his erratic impulsive ...

A.   2 April 2010: You are human, you needed human contact and wanted to be with the man you feel strongly about. You felt rejected. That is only natural. Stop beating yourself up for having normal feelings. Stop trying to answer life's big questions right now. There ... (read in full...)

I'm 13 and want to have a baby and have even saved up the money for it!

Q.   helloo please could you help me! i realy want a baby and i'm 13 but i will be 14 if i have a baby all my mates are sick and tired of me going on about it. i have told my boyfriend and he agrees with me 100% he wants a baby and he has s...

A.   2 April 2010: Sweetheart, if you have a baby, you won't fill that hole in your heart, because that baby will take all the attention once it's born. People will make a fuss, your boyfriend might get some extra attention from the authorities as he's impregnated a ... (read in full...)

I think my girlfriend likes another guy more than just friends.

Q.   Dear readers, i’m with my girl friend a logn time –maybe 3 years, and everything wen well sinc from october she went to study in another city, and this will happen till mai.At the beggining it ws hard, and we were happing,only the last 10 days we ...

A.   2 April 2010: Hi Luter, thank you for your follow up answer; it was not too long at all, in fact having more detail is helpful. I am so happy to hear that you two have had a good discussion about this and I think I understand a little bit more. The fear lies... (read in full...)

Are there any faithful men out there?

Q.   Hey everyone! I was wondering ....Is there such a thing as a faithful man? Even after so many years? No offence guys just got myself out of a bad and long relationship and I am worried/scared : / What are your experiences? Thank you ...

A.   2 April 2010: There are definitely faithful men out there. I don't know how to tell you to assess the guys, but look for how they approach life, how they interact with other people, what size ego they have, self confidence instead of narcissism, what kind of ... (read in full...)

I think my girlfriend likes another guy more than just friends.

Q.   Dear readers, i’m with my girl friend a logn time –maybe 3 years, and everything wen well sinc from october she went to study in another city, and this will happen till mai.At the beggining it ws hard, and we were happing,only the last 10 days we ...

A.   2 April 2010: Hi Luter, sorry your question seems to have been overlooked. Sometimes many questions come in all at once and people don't see them. I will try to do my best to answer your questio. It's possible she has developed a crush on this boy, and has some... (read in full...)

6 months later ex deletes our myspace, what does this mean?

Q.   Hi, My ex boyfriend and I broke up a around Nov of 09' which was about 6 months ago. A couple weeks after we broke up he had this friend who he vented to about us and they soon after were dating, im guessing it is a rebound after everything i've ...

A.   2 April 2010: Maybe his girlfriend asked him to delete it. Maybe he told her about it, she wasn't happy about it and told him to get rid of it. That would be my guess.... (read in full...)

I feel my fiance should pull his weight financially

Q.   My finance has been living with me and my 2 children for about a year and a half. We make the same amount of money but he only pays for food. He says he won't help with the house payment and utilities because I would be paying for them if he wasn't ...

A.   2 April 2010: This is the man you're planning to marry? He's benefitting from your house and your utilities and he won't contribute? Really? Did you discuss all this before he moved in? Why did he move in anyway, was he short on money? I guess you could tell him... (read in full...)

My girlfriend won't give me the same chance she gave her past boyfriends.

Q.   So I've been with my girlfriend for a while now. I truly am in love with her and she says she's in love with me. Not too long ago, she told me that she had anal sex with two other guys. she only tried it though, she didn't do it over and over. this ...

A.   1 April 2010: Okay, do me a favor. (Aunts who are squeamish might want to look away at this point.) Look at your stool in the toilet one day, and look at hers. Notice the diameter difference. One will likely be a rather large tube, the other will be much much ... (read in full...)

Sorry... wrong hole!

Q.   Me and my GF were having sex last night and I slipped in to the wrong hole. Well she winced at first but didn't yell or object too strongly, so I rolled with the punches and continued in her rear. I thought it was great and she seemed to enjoy it ...

A.   1 April 2010: Did you check to see if she had an orgasm? Or do you just kind of hope she does but don't really help her out? And what did you do after this 'whoops' moment? Fall asleep right after your pleasure? Did you check to make sure she was okay? Did you ... (read in full...)

Would you be offended if someone put you in a situation like this?

Q.   Imagine this situation: you are walking down the street with a close friend, lets call her Jane, and the two of you run into an old friend of Jane's, whom you've never met before. The two of them start catching up and end up talking for half an ...

A.   1 April 2010: Yes, it is rude, isn't it? What would a lady do in this situation? Do that, as graciously as possible. They assume you're okay with this, as you obviously are waiting patiently. Just let them know the next time this happens, "I'll let you two catc... (read in full...)

I made a HUGE mistake last night!!!

Q.   I made a HUGE mistake last night. In a moment of passion (during sexual foreplay) I asked my GF a hypothetical question of "If I wasn't in your life, and you had to be with one of our/your friends/acquaintances, who would it be? The problem is...

A.   1 April 2010: Sorry, I got carried away. There's a reason that they say women reach their sexual peak at 40, and men at 19. That's because for women, it's mostly mental and learning to relax and trust and just go for it takes a long time. Remember, that's 40, not ... (read in full...)

I made a HUGE mistake last night!!!

Q.   I made a HUGE mistake last night. In a moment of passion (during sexual foreplay) I asked my GF a hypothetical question of "If I wasn't in your life, and you had to be with one of our/your friends/acquaintances, who would it be? The problem is...

A.   1 April 2010: I just saw that you answered this, I didn't get a follow up message letting me know. First of all, when did he get in bed with you? She was having sex with YOU, okay, not him. She was pretending, for pete's sake. Lordy lordy lordy, you are going to... (read in full...)

Chemical pregnancy, did I miscarry or what?

Q.   Hey!dearcupid, My period was on feb 26 - march 7 or 8 . I had sex for the first time on march 19 but we didn't use a condom and my boyfriend only pre-came. After that a few days later I felt kinda sick started having lower tummy aches, slight n...

A.   1 April 2010: It could be anything. You have to see your doctor to get proper medical treatment and advice. Please take care of yourself. ... (read in full...)

Why is my husband being so nasty?

Q.   Hi there Agony Aunts and Uncles. My Agony is my husband who keeps telling me I have 'large saggy breasts' and also that my upper lip and face is looking 'old and haggard'. I am feeling so down and so I decided to get a boob job done. The doctor ...

A.   1 April 2010: Have you stopped him when he's said something like that to you, and told him simply, "That hurts me so much to hear you say something like that to me. It really cuts me deeply. Why are you saying that awful thing to me?" If you have, I'd be very ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend gave weird answer to my money questions and now I'm confused!

Q.   i m in a commited relationship...its a ldr..well jst for fun i asked my bf.. How do you think a woman and a man in a relationship should handle money together? n the reply which he gave i found completely irrelevant...he said that Money org...

A.   1 April 2010: How old are you? Do you have a wedding date set? If you are proceeding with marriage, I would suggest that you get some premarital counseling right away, so that you can work through these issues. When you get married, you have to look at each othe... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is depressed. How can I help him?

Q.   age 34... Shit!! now my boyfriend of three years ias depressed and just says f#+"* it! and i know he means it. hes angry at me for pushing him away in our relationship(no communication skills. we were stuck.) he hates his job. hes talking about ...

A.   1 April 2010: Why do you feel guilty for his depression? This is something inside him that is causing it. You're not the cause, nor will you be the cure. The cure has to come from inside himself, with the help of his doctor and a rounded, well-balanced approach ... (read in full...)

Should I throw away the 2 years we have spent together and move on?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years And 2 months... In the time that we've been together we've had 3 major arguments that almost led to us breaking up. I love him so much and I've been so faithful to him. I've talked to him about it but it's ...

A.   1 April 2010: The key word here might be "faithful." She's faithful to him, he does not return the favor. I wouldn't look at it as throwing away 2 years of your life. I would look at walking away from him as saving 50 years of misery and arguments and buil... (read in full...)

If the chlamydia test comes back positive how should I tell my boyfriend?

Q.   been with my man for almost a year, when i first met him we had a one night stand together (at that time i didn't know i had chlamydia) after i found out i had chlamydia and i went and got treated for it. a few months later me and him started ...

A.   1 April 2010: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chlamydia/Pages/Introduction.aspx Hi, you must be very worried. You could bring him along to your appointment or have him read the link above to become educated on how it's transmitted. I'm afraid you do have to tell... (read in full...)

I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for months,but I did take 3 contraceptive pills at once, could I be pregnant?

Q.   im a bit confused.... 2 days before i was due on my period i took 3 conterception pills in one night, i heard that by doing that it can delay your period for a couple of days, is that true? but im now 5 days late on my period, these past few m...

A.   1 April 2010: Go buy a pregnancy test and read the instructions. They will tell you when to take the test. Or google "pregnancy test kits", find a couple of manufacturers' websites and read about it on the web. Or go to the chemists and have a chat with him or ... (read in full...)

Are abusive men more prevalent in certain geographic locations?

Q.   I really need advice. Any advice would be WELCOME! Ever since I was young I always had a good group of friends and always had guy friends who were cool and GREAT guys. Treated us with respect etc. (I grew up in a pretty cosmopolitan area). When I w...

A.   1 April 2010: Perhaps you missed the telltale signs these controlling and abusive men might have given you. Perhaps you subconsciously chose to only see what you wanted to see in them before you got sucked into a toxic relationship. I find it a bit telling that... (read in full...)

What can I say to my friend, she keeps asking me for help and I don't know what to say!

Q.   Ok I was reading a post on here with a friend and her boyfrind well I asked him if " lets say if you was married but are not together with your wife and have a new girlfriend but still married and one day you cheat with your wife but liveing with ...

A.   31 March 2010: How old is your friend, and how old is this guy? And did you just find out he's married, or was it she that just found out after over 2 years? I personally would say she's burning daylight with a guy who won't ever commit, and one she'll never be a... (read in full...)

She said she would stop talking to him late at night, but now I have found that she is still taking his calls at 3am! How should I take this?

Q.   Okay here I go again... This is the last post I wrote..Okay so, me and my girlfriend got back together after a 1 month split up and we are doing great. Before the split up we been together for like over 3 years. Anyway, when we got back togethe...

A.   31 March 2010: Big follow up, aunts, in a new thread! http://www.dearcupid.org/question/girlfriend-is-begging-to-not-lose-me-i.html Hot off the presses! I'll answer later when I have more time. OP, post here to let everyone of the new development, please! ... (read in full...)

She's getting attracted to girls again, and is bugging me to let do something with them! I think it's cheating. Help!

Q.   Me and my girlfriend 'W' have been together for almost a year and a half. We met at school and liked each other straight away. I was shocked to learn recently that she used to only like girls, and has in the past had girlfriends, but she says it ...

A.   31 March 2010: You know what? You're both too young to be tied down in full commitment right now, even moreso as she is questioning her sexuality again. It's possible that this urgent demand for you to allow her this experimentation is a sign not only of her ... (read in full...)

She said she would stop talking to him late at night, but now I have found that she is still taking his calls at 3am! How should I take this?

Q.   Okay here I go again... This is the last post I wrote..Okay so, me and my girlfriend got back together after a 1 month split up and we are doing great. Before the split up we been together for like over 3 years. Anyway, when we got back togethe...

A.   31 March 2010: Oh, and part of this is to stop checking up on her talk time with this guy. You have to be strong and really distance yourself from her. She may get the message, but I wouldn't hold my breath for her.... (read in full...)

She said she would stop talking to him late at night, but now I have found that she is still taking his calls at 3am! How should I take this?

Q.   Okay here I go again... This is the last post I wrote..Okay so, me and my girlfriend got back together after a 1 month split up and we are doing great. Before the split up we been together for like over 3 years. Anyway, when we got back togethe...

A.   31 March 2010: I'd step waaaay back from this girl. She has something going on with this guy and cannot keep this promise to you. It sounds as though you are not in a relationship, officially, so I would stop behaving as a boyfriend does. Get yourself out there, ... (read in full...)

I made a HUGE mistake last night!!!

Q.   I made a HUGE mistake last night. In a moment of passion (during sexual foreplay) I asked my GF a hypothetical question of "If I wasn't in your life, and you had to be with one of our/your friends/acquaintances, who would it be? The problem is...

A.   31 March 2010: Look, women are told to be hot but you can't be a slut. Be great looking, show your boobs but don't ever let anyone touch them because then you'd be a wh*re. We get all kinds of mixed messages. Now you have just given your girlfriend free rein in f... (read in full...)

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