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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
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Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
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25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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How can I strike up a decent conversation with my teacher who I adore?
Q. Ok I havent written on here before and I have tried a few times but every time I write something it doesnt sound right so I never publish anything. Basically, I think I am in love with my teacher and have been for a few years. I will not go into det...
A. 17 January 2010: A while back, an uncle on here advised a guy who was really shy but wanted to get to know a girl better to go talk to everyone he met. Like the cashier at the store, the driver on the bus, just basically treat everyone he met as though he needed to ... (read in full...)
Advice needed please. Problems with sex...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a while now and we want to make love. To my distress we're both virgins. He can't seem to get hard at the right times and yesterday when he did and got a condom on it all went downhill from there. I don't ...
A. 17 January 2010: The thing about making love that the movies don't really show is just how clumsy and awkward and goofy and embarassing it can be. I would guess that for most people it's not at all smooth and effortless to have a stupendous lovemaking session.
L... (read in full...)
In love with depressed friend.
Q. Hi, looking for advice. My best friend suffers from depression, and has very poor self esteam. I have however, fallen for him. Ive found it in me to tell him how i feel and he says he cant feel that. It was a crushing blow and one I really f...
A. 17 January 2010: He certainly is muddling things by the cuddles and kissing, but I think I would believe his statement that he can't feel the same. He's not well, mentally, at the moment, and I think having you on a string might give him somewhat of an ego boost. He ... (read in full...)
It hurts my girlfriend when we have sex in the missionary position, what other positions can we try?
Q. my girlfriend told me I hurt her when we missionary what shall I do, different position?...
A. 6 January 2010: She may simply be too young for intercourse. How old is she? She should see her doctor to make sure she doesn't have a problem.
If it hurts in missionary, it's going to hurt in most other positions too. My guess is that she's not physically read... (read in full...)
Should I shave my dick??
Q. I am 14 and wondering if i should shave my dick what do you girls pefer most?...
A. 5 January 2010: Eyes, it's....
.
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.
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Down South!
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ROFL!!!!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks he is too fat!
Q. My boyfriend, who I've been with since October of 2008 is always talking about how "fat" he is and how much he hates it. I think he's very gorgeous but, to him, he's fat. He's 15 years old, 5'10 and weighs 205 pounds. He's not wide at all, He's just ...
A. 2 January 2010: You can't say or do anything to get him to be happy about how he looks, that's an internal problem he has to fix himself. You can only be supportive of him and tell him that you think he is gorgeous. Encourage him to eat healthy foods, exercise (if ... (read in full...)
Can I get an abortion at 14 without my parents approval?
Q. hello... 3 weeks ago i lost my virginity but we didnt use a condom and i went and got the morning after pill. but now i am sore and red and itchy in my virgina and i have white liquidy stuff coming out my virgina, it drips out when i use the b...
A. 2 January 2010: I went to the NHS website and saw this quote when it came to female vaginal problems for under 18s: "If you are under 18 and you have vaginal problems, or if you are caring for a child who has them, please call NHS Direct on 0845 4647 immediately." ... (read in full...)
G/f laughed when I told her the size of my penis
Q. I'm 14 and I am with my gf for 2 yrs now. We love each other and O don't think we are going to stop anytime soon. She asked for my penis size wen erected one day so i actually measured it and I got somewhere around 3.7 inches. I told her and well ...
A. 2 January 2010: So what did she say when you asked her why she laughed at you?... (read in full...)
Do I have to be scared that I might be pregnant?
Q. Ok my period was on the 26 and I got through on the 30 but I had unprotected sex "I know dumb move " on the 31st at 11 55 pm " my question do I have to worry about being pregnant? Yes no plz explain CAZ im scared!!!!...
A. 1 January 2010: http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
If you mean only one day ago, there's still time for emergency contraception. Go to plannedparenthood.org to find out more information about how to o... (read in full...)
I think precum is disgusting and abnormal
Q. my boyfriend starts leaking his precum before entering my vagina, it is disgusting. i think he is abnormal pls suggesions...
A. 24 December 2009: His precum is kind of like your lubrication, it helps protect your vagina and his penis during intercourse. It is completely normal. It has similar characteristics to semen, which he would ejaculate at climax. If his semen doesn't bother you, his ... (read in full...)
My brother raped me when I was in 4th grade
Q. When I was in fourth grade, my brother (9th grade) had been touching me a lot lately and saying sexual things and putting on porn while I was there in the room, showing me his genitals. I would try to cover him up but he'd uncover himself again. I ...
A. 23 December 2009: Hi, OP, you need to PM Andrew if you need a specific post over a certain age removed. The thread is being closed so you don't get more posts on it. I hope you take my advice to get some professional counseling seriously; I do wish you well.
A... (read in full...)
I've had genital warts, what do I say if she says she's on the pill?
Q. i want to have sex with someone but i have had genital warts before. its advised that i should wear a condom all the time, but what if she says 'im on the pill its fine you dont have to wear one?' i dont want to tell her ive had the warts before. ...
A. 23 December 2009: I'm going to link to this question the next time someone posts a question about having sex without a condom. Here we have a poster who KNOWS he has had genital warts, yet he is not disclosing to his potential sex partner.
Poster, how did YOU get ... (read in full...)
My wife has no problem exposing herself to others, is this normal behaviour?
Q. this is about a strange behavior of my wife. she is 25. i see that she has a tendency to exhibit. she rarely cares about her dress. whenever somebody comes to our home they have a very explicit view of her assets and other parts. i tlaked to her a...
A. 23 December 2009: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exhibitionism
I don't think it's normal, if it exceeds cultural norms. If it is interfering with your relationship and her daily life revolves around it, go see a psychiatrist.
My personal opinion is that she is pecul... (read in full...)
I've had genital warts, what do I say if she says she's on the pill?
Q. i want to have sex with someone but i have had genital warts before. its advised that i should wear a condom all the time, but what if she says 'im on the pill its fine you dont have to wear one?' i dont want to tell her ive had the warts before. ...
A. 23 December 2009: I'm sorry, but you have to tell her about the genital warts. You have to give her the chance to decide if she wants to take that chance with you, even if you wear a condom. To not tell her is to potentially expose her to HPV. You may be the reason ... (read in full...)
He wants boob pics, but I don't want to give him any..?
Q. My boyfriend keeps asking me to give him a picture of my chest to him. I keep saying that i dont want to because i feel he might eventually might use it against me one day. I really love him and he is just really persistent! How can i stay with him ...
A. 23 December 2009: If he's that persistent, he's a pest. Are you sure he's really smart enough for you to be dating him? He sounds kind of stupid to me. Tell him that you will break up with him if he asks one more time. Then do it if he does. You can do better, ... (read in full...)
I found out my very close friend is a peophile!
Q. I've got a bit of a unique problem I need help with. Its not a relationship problem but its kinda something I feel I can't ask people I'm friends with incase of how they react :( I just need some advice and thoughts. For the last 3 years, I had a...
A. 22 December 2009: You're in a type of mourning, you're grieving. If you do some research on that, you'll find a lot of what you're experiencing is normal. I think you should write the letter to him. Don't send it, keep it for a while and then take it out and reread ... (read in full...)
Everything about my boyfriend disgusts me, how do I get out of this relationship?
Q. Im in a relationship that i don't like but i don't know how to come out of it. Everything about my b/f disgust me. I want out, but i don't know how. Pls i need help!...
A. 22 December 2009: "This relationship isn't working for me any longer. Unfortunately, I do not feel what I should for a boyfriend for you, so it is time to part. I am sorry for any hurt I may be causing, but this is better for you and me in the long run. You deserve ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant if ....................
Q. Can i get pregnant if my boyfriend cums on my vagina but then wipes it off? It wasnt all the way inside but i kno they swim. He wiped it really good but im not sure if theres a chance i can get prego....
A. 22 December 2009: http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
If sperm made it to the vaginal canal, well, yes, you could be about to get pregnant.
Are you familiar with plan B, the emergency contrace... (read in full...)
We tried a couple swap but he couldnt perform, and now he isnt speaking to me!
Q. A new man I have been dating asked if we could try a swap. A couple swap. I agreed, out of adventure, and because I wasn't in love with him. We have a NSA arrangement, but not just 100% sexual.He talked like I was steady GF, and acted like it wi...
A. 21 December 2009: I feel the need for a shower. I sincerely hope you don't reach out to this guy again--that might indicate he's not the only one who needs therapy, lol.
Hope you managed through the snow okay yourself!... (read in full...)
Would you still marry your spouse if you knew then what you know now?
Q. To all the married couples, ten years or more: 1. If you can go back in time knowing what you know now about your spouse, would you still marry him or her? 2. If you won a large jackpot lottery of millions, would you stay with your spouse?...
A. 21 December 2009: 1. Yes
2. Absolutely... (read in full...)
If I'm pregant, I want an abortion without being judged!
Q. hi i am really worried that i am pregnant. I have a feeling that i am and i think im starting to look as though i am. i am scared to go to the doctors because I am afraid of being judged and i know it sounds stupid but if i am i want to abo...
A. 17 December 2009: Go to http://www.plannedparenthood.org/ and notice there's a search box on the upper right hand side that will help you find a local clinic. No one will judge you there.
Relax, you're panicking and it's likely you are not pregnant because you are ... (read in full...)
My b/f expects me to pay 50% of his mortgage with no guanantees for me
Q. I am just new to living with my boyfriend in a house that he owns. Recently while discussing contributions towards household expenses he told me that he expects me to pay half his mortgage and that he is not interested in putting me on the title. He ...
A. 17 December 2009: In essence, he's asking you to pay him rent, I guess. It's just that he gets the equity and you get a lousy return on your money.
It's reasonable to expect you to pay toward the cost of the household, I don't see a problem with that. I guess I ques... (read in full...)
What is the least painful sexual position for a virgin?
Q. Im 14, and me and my bf are ready for sex for the first time, im kinda scared though, whats the easiest/ least painful position for first timers?...
A. 16 December 2009: You're actually not ready. If you were, you wouldn't be so scared that you had to ask the question. I think the best idea is to wait a bit, maybe have a talk with your mother about virginity and sex and what the family values are surrounding those. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not wanting my 22 year old daugther to bring boys home?
Q. Im a 49 year old divorcee and have a boyfriend. We get on well and my 22 year-old daughter also accepts him. My daughter never has a boyfriend until recently she starts asking a boy at work out for a drink. She said they are just friends he is ...
A. 16 December 2009: Well, it is your house, your rules, but I have to say that at age 22, your job of protecting her honor should be over. Is she an adult? Did you do a good job raising her? Does your own behavior match the standards you set for her? Or is this a case ... (read in full...)
I am over worrying about not falling pregnant yet!
Q. I know this is probably a question for doctors but I just want opinions really as I am worried. Just over 2 years ago I got pregnant after 8 months of trying but suffered a miscarriage at around 8 weeks which has made me worried about getting pr...
A. 16 December 2009: Has your current partner been checked for chlamydia? It can be passed to men and carried without symptoms.
I think you should both go see your doctors for a checkup to make sure. That's the best advice I can offer, not being a medical person!
Good ... (read in full...)
How can my girlfriend achieve an orgasm?
Q. my girlfriend has expressed to me she cannot masturbate to an orgasm, and she wants to know tips on how (without toys, vibrators, etc) she can. thanks!...
A. 16 December 2009: Vibrators and toys can be very useful when someone is just learning how to masturbate. I don't see why she would exclude those from consideration if she is having difficulty. They don't have to be lifelike dildos, they can simply be body massagers. ... (read in full...)
I get a sinking feeling when I realise it will never happen again
Q. My husband is circumsized, and lately I've found myself CRAVING sex with an uncircumcised man. I've been with both cut and uncut men before, and hands-down I've found sex with uncut men to be more pleasurable. My husband knows that I've been with ...
A. 16 December 2009: Based on the two key words "drying" and "fluid", my suggestion is to load up on the lube. I think perhaps the lubrication may be an issue. Is it possible that you are producing less? Perimenopause, perhaps?
Anyway, give that a try and see if thin... (read in full...)
Childish by nature
Q. I met this guy off of a dating website (strike 1 on me) in February of this year. We went on a date, hit it off, talked for a couple of days and then I didnt hear from him again for about a week. He informed me that his exgirlfriend of 9 months had ...
A. 16 December 2009: Maybe you think if he grows up a little, he'll be really appealing? Don't fall for it!
You're going to be treated the way you allow yourself to b treated. He sounds like an overgrown teenager, from your description, and maybe he's great fun to be w... (read in full...)
Are all guys this selfish in bed?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about eleven months now, and I really can't help but notice he can really be a selfish guy when he feels like it. Namely, I'm talking about our sex life. When we met I was a virgin. Before we started having ...
A. 15 December 2009: No, they are not all like that. RUN! Far far away! You've done your best and he's not going to change. Run!... (read in full...)
I texted my wife's sister and she's no longer talking to me!
Q. i have this sexually fantasy of doing it with my wife's only and youngest sister. she's not pretty. dark, thin, small breasted and all but i am really turned on when i think of having sex with her. i texted her anonymously but she's very bright she ...
A. 15 December 2009: Oh, and how could I forget to ask the obvious? Did you do this thing when you were drunk? If so, then you go seek help for your alcohol problem, and then you can tell your wife and her sister that it was the alcohol that caused you to do this, that ... (read in full...)
I texted my wife's sister and she's no longer talking to me!
Q. i have this sexually fantasy of doing it with my wife's only and youngest sister. she's not pretty. dark, thin, small breasted and all but i am really turned on when i think of having sex with her. i texted her anonymously but she's very bright she ...
A. 15 December 2009: My advice is to never text her again, keep your fantasies to yourself and recognize what consequences actions bring. Indicate by your actions that you will NEVER proposition your sister-in-law again; you will forever be suspect in her mind and if ... (read in full...)
I get a sinking feeling when I realise it will never happen again
Q. My husband is circumsized, and lately I've found myself CRAVING sex with an uncircumcised man. I've been with both cut and uncut men before, and hands-down I've found sex with uncut men to be more pleasurable. My husband knows that I've been with ...
A. 14 December 2009: I'm dying of curiousity. What's the difference, if you can manage to tell us without being too explicit? Just use clinical terms and keep the tone dry. I gather that you didn't use condoms with any of these men?
... (read in full...)
My brother raped me when I was in 4th grade
Q. When I was in fourth grade, my brother (9th grade) had been touching me a lot lately and saying sexual things and putting on porn while I was there in the room, showing me his genitals. I would try to cover him up but he'd uncover himself again. I ...
A. 14 December 2009: And one more thing. If fourth-graders were considered responsible and mature and liable for their actions, they'd all be driving, served with alcohol if they wanted and would be eligible for military service, as well as able to vote and serve on ... (read in full...)
My brother raped me when I was in 4th grade
Q. When I was in fourth grade, my brother (9th grade) had been touching me a lot lately and saying sexual things and putting on porn while I was there in the room, showing me his genitals. I would try to cover him up but he'd uncover himself again. I ...
A. 14 December 2009: That last followup demonstrates exactly why you need professional help. Your logic, reasoning and analysis aren't working due to the emotional trauma. It's like you have a brain tumor. No one would expect you to do surgery on yourself to remove it. ... (read in full...)
My brother raped me when I was in 4th grade
Q. When I was in fourth grade, my brother (9th grade) had been touching me a lot lately and saying sexual things and putting on porn while I was there in the room, showing me his genitals. I would try to cover him up but he'd uncover himself again. I ...
A. 13 December 2009: You didn't "have sex". You were assaulted by your brother. You were in fourth grade. There's no blame to be apportioned to you.
Simple as that.
Have you ever talked to a professional therapist or psychologist with training in abuse issues? ... (read in full...)
Your average sized guy...
Q. How are us average sized guys meant to reconcile the fact that the average sized girl can take more than 50% volume of dick that we have? Our goal is to give maximum sexual pleasure, and in almost all cases, bigger is better (up to a point) (don...
A. 13 December 2009: It's not the mods keeping answers off the answer. There simply aren't any women posting from the other point of view. Go figure. ... (read in full...)
Should I give him space in the hope that he contacts me again?
Q. Okay where do I start?? I met this guy through a friend 2 years ago. When I met him, I could tell he was really attracted to me. He was SO nice to me that it was too obvious that he liked me so that was sort of a turn off for me so I acted like I ...
A. 13 December 2009: Yes, I think you should give him space. You're sounding a little desperate and as though you might be coming on too strong. I think a little easing up on the pressure on guys would be a good thing. Also, don't do the hooking up thing quite so ... (read in full...)
Your average sized guy...
Q. How are us average sized guys meant to reconcile the fact that the average sized girl can take more than 50% volume of dick that we have? Our goal is to give maximum sexual pleasure, and in almost all cases, bigger is better (up to a point) (don...
A. 13 December 2009: A really good slice of chocolate cake, made with the finest chocolate and exquisite texture and WONDERFUL icing is superb. Awesome. I'm fainting just thinking about it. It fills the stomach so well, and the entire experience of savoring it is ... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 13 December 2009: You don't actually have to go to school physically to get a diploma. Check out this example from Missouri: http://www.gedonlineclass.com/
There's no cost to enroll there if you are a Missouri resident, and I think that would be the case in othe... (read in full...)
An orgasm out of nowhere!
Q. Sitting in class writing a paper I had an orgasm like feeling but I was not doing anything. Just writing a paper and listening to a teacher. Is it possible to have an orgasm out of no where and since I was wearing a long tampon instead of wide ...
A. 11 December 2009: If you're on your period, you have menstrual fluid and little clots coming through your cervix and funny crampy feeling things can happen. Don't you suffer from severe menstrual cramps? You're seeing your doctor soon, right? Ask her (or him)!... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 11 December 2009: Here are some numbers for you to call to find that help.
1-800-799-SAFE — a confidential hotline, to speak with a counselor in private, toll-free
1-800-230-PLAN — to reach your local Planned Parenthood health center for support and local referr... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 11 December 2009: The school's guidance counselor should have some help for children in your situation; you are not the first child to have unstable parents, nor will you be the last. The key is to tap the help that's available for you out there, and to do that, you ... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 11 December 2009: So there are no good role models for you in the family, you are doing it for yourself. Wow, that's a lot of responsibility.
He gets so mad he actually blacks out? That must be scary. What did the doctor say about it?
In my opinion, you should w... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 11 December 2009: I'm going to be honest with you now. I see more red flags here than I am comfortable with. Your family relationships are unstable, so there's no safety net for you. That you are not liked by stepparents doesn't seem to me to be a big enough reason ... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 11 December 2009: Sorry, I just posted that before I saw your latest followup. Which leads to more questions.
Why did you get 'kicked out'?
May I say that if you are living with his grandmother you are not getting by on one paycheck.
How old is he?
He gets angry... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 11 December 2009: Sorry, I realized I have a few more questions for you.
What do you think a woman's place in a marriage is?
What do you mean by 'keeping him happy'? Is he unhappy? If he is, why?
Did you 'break up' with your friends or just stop calling them... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 11 December 2009: What do YOU think a woman's place is?... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 11 December 2009: I'm sorry, did you say you don't have any friends? That he doesn't want you to have a job? And that you're not sure you're IN love with your fiance?
What happened to your friends? What is his reason for you not having a job? Those are very impo... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 10 December 2009: Okay, thank you for your followup. I guess my reaction is to think that you are still a bit young to be contemplating marriage just yet. This is underscored by your uncertainty as to the nature of your feelings for your ex. I think someone who is ... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 10 December 2009: Before I answer, how old are you? The age range is 16-17. Is that correct?... (read in full...)
We tried a couple swap but he couldnt perform, and now he isnt speaking to me!
Q. A new man I have been dating asked if we could try a swap. A couple swap. I agreed, out of adventure, and because I wasn't in love with him. We have a NSA arrangement, but not just 100% sexual.He talked like I was steady GF, and acted like it wi...
A. 6 October 2009: You are wasting precious daylight, time, energy and brain cells on a man who simply isn't worth any of your lifetime allotment of those things. Why would you make his problem into yours? Or allow him to dump it on you?
Raise your right hand, fing... (read in full...)
We tried a couple swap but he couldnt perform, and now he isnt speaking to me!
Q. A new man I have been dating asked if we could try a swap. A couple swap. I agreed, out of adventure, and because I wasn't in love with him. We have a NSA arrangement, but not just 100% sexual.He talked like I was steady GF, and acted like it wi...
A. 5 October 2009: He dumped you via IM? After you tried this swap with him at his request? HA! He's pathetic, a pathetic loser, a cowardly pathetic loser! (I'm hearing the chicken "bawk bawk BAWK" in my head.) I feel kinda sorry for him...he's demonstrated he's not ... (read in full...)
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