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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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What kinds of lies would you tolerate in a relationship?
Q. I know people lie. I know I tell a little lie at least every day whether it is i try not to but it happens. Now my question is what kinds of lies would you tolerate in a relationship. For example, a girl I have been seeing lies to me sometimes whe...
A. 4 June 2011: You know what, if she's looking for ways to avoid your company, I'd take that as a sign she's not the one for you. I agree with the distancing thing, but rather than just letting it fizzle out, why not be upfront with her and let her know why you ... (read in full...)
Did my daughter have sex while she was visiting a friend? Or am I over-exaggerating things?
Q. I am a father to a 17 year old girl. A little over a month ago i gave her permission to stay at her friend's house during Easter recess. She DID go, because i called one day and spoke to her mom who then passed the phone. Fine. I was proud of her. ...
A. 3 June 2011: Don't worry about answering, OP. I only asked because you seem to completely leave your wife's viewpoint on this completely out of the story. If you're a cop then I'm sure you are very concerned that you'll be arrested and charged with ... (read in full...)
Aren't there ANY women who don't want kids out there?
Q. Why is it that women say that the things they want in a boyfriend or partner tend to be things like: confidence, kind, generous, loving, make me feel special, sense of humour? It's total nonsense. All they want is someone to father their chi...
A. 3 June 2011: Well, at 37, in 3 years, you'll be in the 40s crowd and the age-gap won't be such a big deal. Though I'm wondering how an age gap of 6 or so years at your age would matter. I know some extremely attractive 40-something women, and I honestly thought ... (read in full...)
What kinds of lies would you tolerate in a relationship?
Q. I know people lie. I know I tell a little lie at least every day whether it is i try not to but it happens. Now my question is what kinds of lies would you tolerate in a relationship. For example, a girl I have been seeing lies to me sometimes whe...
A. 3 June 2011: And just out of curiousity, how do you find out she lied to you? Just wondering....... (read in full...)
What kinds of lies would you tolerate in a relationship?
Q. I know people lie. I know I tell a little lie at least every day whether it is i try not to but it happens. Now my question is what kinds of lies would you tolerate in a relationship. For example, a girl I have been seeing lies to me sometimes whe...
A. 3 June 2011: I guess I'd want to understand this woman's motivation for lying. She could be lying because she's a congenital liar and lies just because. For no reason. She could be lying because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, and thinks that telling you ... (read in full...)
Aren't there ANY women who don't want kids out there?
Q. Why is it that women say that the things they want in a boyfriend or partner tend to be things like: confidence, kind, generous, loving, make me feel special, sense of humour? It's total nonsense. All they want is someone to father their chi...
A. 3 June 2011: Your anger at the women who are honest about wanting a family in the future seems misplaced. Why would you want a woman who knows she will want children to lie to you to date you? To bury her dreams for a family, with a guy with all those wonderful ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to feel like this, or am I overreacting about what she did?
Q. i've been with my girlfriend for a long time now. we've had our fair share of problems and always managed to stick together to work through them. the problem with this is that when we argue like we have, we both lose our sex drive. so for a long ...
A. 3 June 2011: But you do care about the reciprocation. You have been lying to yourself if you told yourself you were okay with it. She did what she does 2/3 of the time, which is go right to sleep after you get her off. She assumes you are okay with it because ... (read in full...)
Past abuse if preventing me from getting intimate with my boyfriend
Q. I'm twetty three a virgin and with my first boyfreind who also a virgin and am his first gf I was abused as an adult for some years and it only came out seven months ago I was controlled by my abuser so I find it a bit harder to get close to him ...
A. 3 June 2011: Ah, it sounds as though you are very early in the healing process. Definitely take things slowly and consider if you are really in a good place to even have a boyfriend just yet. The relationship could be helpful or perhaps it could cause problems. ... (read in full...)
Do I just give this up and chalk it up to a lesson learned? Should I reach out to him?
Q. My ex broke up with me 2 days before I left for a big trip outside of the US to a third world country. It was pretty hard for me especially in light of me having to leave for a trip that I was already pretty nervous about. Both of us are in ...
A. 3 June 2011: Hm. Well, I'd say that you are feeling the need for some closure and understanding of what happened to end the relationship without much notice. You said you and he both had issues with OCD, I don't know much about how that would play into it but ... (read in full...)
Do you believe God gives signs to tell us things about our relationships?
Q. I'm just wondering if any of you truly believe that if we pray for a sign of something, God will show us. For example, this might sound really silly, but I've fallen in love with this guy, and seriously, it's love. Not lust or infatuation. I'm ...
A. 3 June 2011: You'd be surprised how many girls get coy about who their love interest is, that's why I asked. It changes the answer for me, and I just wanted to make sure we weren't encouraging an unrequited love for a teacher. ;)
So you're feeling that all thes... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's drunken one night stand....
Q. Hi folks, hoping somebody can offer some persepctive in this. I've just found out this morning that my GF had a one night stand with a creep from her work who had been trying it on with her for a while. We were going through a rough patch, she...
A. 3 June 2011: The alcoholism is the real issue here. I had a friend who succumbed to the disease; she could not/would not get the help she so desperately needed and ultimately died far too young. She's been gone now for almost 5 years and she's missed so much in ... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for passing up this chance at a great school for a girl who doesn't love me?
Q. I have done things that are quite stupid because I love a girl but she doesn't love me. For example, I got into a school which only take in 5 people in sixth form and this year more than 300 talented students applying because it has 27% of Oxbridge ...
A. 3 June 2011: Hi there. I have read more of your questions. You need some help getting over this obsessive thinking about her. Have you told your parents about these feelings?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-cant-i-be-with-the-girl-that.html
http:... (read in full...)
Past abuse if preventing me from getting intimate with my boyfriend
Q. I'm twetty three a virgin and with my first boyfreind who also a virgin and am his first gf I was abused as an adult for some years and it only came out seven months ago I was controlled by my abuser so I find it a bit harder to get close to him ...
A. 3 June 2011: Ah, yes, that feeling that he is too good to be true. Hm. Well, all I can say is that there's no need to rush physical intimacy with him. He's said he's happy to go at your pace, so if you are feeling anxious or worried about it, that's a sign you ... (read in full...)
How do I leave my wife without exposing my infidelity?
Q. I have been having an affair for a year now, even though I have been married for 7. I got sober 8 months ago, no more booze or drugs, but I cannot quit this woman. If my wife finds out about us I will lose everything, friends, family (no children ...
A. 3 June 2011: Separate from the other woman, stop seeing her entirely, with the understanding that you will return to her after you do the difficult breakup of the marriage to your wife. Start the separation process from your wife. Then when the divorce is final, ... (read in full...)
Do you believe God gives signs to tell us things about our relationships?
Q. I'm just wondering if any of you truly believe that if we pray for a sign of something, God will show us. For example, this might sound really silly, but I've fallen in love with this guy, and seriously, it's love. Not lust or infatuation. I'm ...
A. 3 June 2011: Who is the guy? A classmate or a teacher?... (read in full...)
Can a girl get pregnant from this?
Q. Can a girl get pregnant just by inserting tip of the penis without a condom and cumming outside the vagina?...
A. 3 June 2011: If semen containing sperm gets on the girl's vulva, yes, she can get pregnant. ... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for passing up this chance at a great school for a girl who doesn't love me?
Q. I have done things that are quite stupid because I love a girl but she doesn't love me. For example, I got into a school which only take in 5 people in sixth form and this year more than 300 talented students applying because it has 27% of Oxbridge ...
A. 3 June 2011: THIS girl? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-does-she-wants-from-me.html
Yes, you are being foolish. But maybe you really can't face the challenges of the better school, so maybe it's for the best. You choose the easier path and blame it on l... (read in full...)
Did my daughter have sex while she was visiting a friend? Or am I over-exaggerating things?
Q. I am a father to a 17 year old girl. A little over a month ago i gave her permission to stay at her friend's house during Easter recess. She DID go, because i called one day and spoke to her mom who then passed the phone. Fine. I was proud of her. ...
A. 3 June 2011: I'm still waiting to hear what her mom has to say about all of this. Just because she works the graveyard shift doesn't mean she's not awake and present for some of the parenting duties. Surely she has an opinion about this incident?... (read in full...)
Past abuse if preventing me from getting intimate with my boyfriend
Q. I'm twetty three a virgin and with my first boyfreind who also a virgin and am his first gf I was abused as an adult for some years and it only came out seven months ago I was controlled by my abuser so I find it a bit harder to get close to him ...
A. 3 June 2011: Take it one step at a time. Don't worry about your boyfriend so much, worry about healing yourself right now. Your boyfriend sounds like he's sticking around through the difficult time, I expect he'll be happy to see you go through the counseling ... (read in full...)
Should I let him go because I might not be able to have children....even though I still love him?
Q. Hi everyone, my situation is this, I have been with my bf for a long time since I was 18 and I am currently 26. We are going on 8 years together and I love him dearly. When we began to have sex, I did not use any type of protection basically because ...
A. 3 June 2011: I'd say that you need to take care of three areas: one is your actual physical health. Make an appointment with your doctor again and go in and tell her that you need to understand what is happening and realistic expectations for your future ... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for passing up this chance at a great school for a girl who doesn't love me?
Q. I have done things that are quite stupid because I love a girl but she doesn't love me. For example, I got into a school which only take in 5 people in sixth form and this year more than 300 talented students applying because it has 27% of Oxbridge ...
A. 3 June 2011: Yes. You are being foolish, if you are basing the course of your future education and possibly Uni because of an unrequited love.
OR
No, if you really think you won't do well at that superior school and would do better at a regular school. ... (read in full...)
So I'm Single. What can I say to people that bug me about it?
Q. I'm single and have no problem with it, except people (family/friends) constantly ask if I'm dating anyone. Some friends of mine, who are married, asked if I was seeing anyone. When I said no, they then asked jokingly if I was a lesbian. This has ...
A. 3 June 2011: "Yes, I'm a lesbian and I'm dating the entire swim team from the island of Lesbos. Oh wait, no, I've decided to become a nun but I can't give up my cosmetics habit for the other kind of habit. Just kidding. No, actually, I'm subbing for the fluffer ... (read in full...)
Friend Set Us Up - But Did Her Meddling Drive Us Apart?
Q. Hi all, My friend, who is happily married with 3 kids, said she had a guy that she wanted me to meet. She thought he was amazing for me, he was single, no kids etc. She sent him my BlackBerry pin and he added me...I accepted and he also added me...
A. 3 June 2011: Sweetheart, this man's father died less than a month ago and you are worried about whether he likes you or not? He's grieving. Give him some time to grieve and if you don't have the capability to have some patience in this regard, maybe you need to ... (read in full...)
Did my daughter have sex while she was visiting a friend? Or am I over-exaggerating things?
Q. I am a father to a 17 year old girl. A little over a month ago i gave her permission to stay at her friend's house during Easter recess. She DID go, because i called one day and spoke to her mom who then passed the phone. Fine. I was proud of her. ...
A. 3 June 2011: Thanks for the followup. Is it possible that part of your anger is that you are doing this by yourself? I mean, you say your wife is working the graveyard shift, as a nurse, which I guess means she is working overnight but there are hours that she ... (read in full...)
I don't feel it's her place to invite others to my home
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 mos. We argue occassionly. Never long lasting arguments though. The relationship is pretty healthy. The only thing is she has her own apartment that she shares with her cousin. Since we've been ...
A. 3 June 2011: Sorry I'm late for the conversation but go get a credit and police report on her. Something's fishy about this. She's asking for a lot from a very short term (so far) relationship, which is a red flag for me. You might as well know what you are ... (read in full...)
Should I let him go because I might not be able to have children....even though I still love him?
Q. Hi everyone, my situation is this, I have been with my bf for a long time since I was 18 and I am currently 26. We are going on 8 years together and I love him dearly. When we began to have sex, I did not use any type of protection basically because ...
A. 3 June 2011: Your doctor should have given you the diagnosis, if you didn't understand it, please feel free to contact the doctor's office and ask what the name of your condition is. There's nothing to be ashamed about.
You are an adult at aged 26 and are free... (read in full...)
Is she a virgin anymore? And can she get pregnant from anal sex?
Q. if during anal sex the penis slipped and touched the vagina and blood went out (in a virgin lady ) does it mean she lost virginity? can this causes pregnancy ?...
A. 3 June 2011: The lady in question should probably see her doctor. The anal canal carries bacteria that, should they get into the wrong place, can cause extremely nasty vaginal infections. If she bled from the vagina, there's a likelihood that the hymen was torn, ... (read in full...)
Past abuse if preventing me from getting intimate with my boyfriend
Q. I'm twetty three a virgin and with my first boyfreind who also a virgin and am his first gf I was abused as an adult for some years and it only came out seven months ago I was controlled by my abuser so I find it a bit harder to get close to him ...
A. 3 June 2011: Did you go through counseling after the abuse to help you? While our aunts are trying to help, they are not professionals or trained in this type of counseling. I really recommend you contact your counselor for help with this issue, and if you have ... (read in full...)
I cannot shake this guy off and I don't want to be mean. Help!
Q. A couple weeks ago I went out on a date with this guy. I'll call him Brett. We were introduced through a mutual friend. At first he seemed like a really nice guy and we talked through email and over the phone for a couple days before he asked me out ...
A. 3 June 2011: To follow up on maverick's excellent advice, tell your mutual friend that Brett has become a problem, in that he appears to be stalking you. Find out more about him and see if she/he knows more about Brett than she/he let you know about. This is not ... (read in full...)
My daughter only needs one summer school class to get her diploma, but she wants to get her GED instead! Should I encourage her to take the class?
Q. I am the mother of four children. Three are well over 21 and are attending community college, and two have recently transferred into a four year college. The youngest of my kids is my daughter, a 17 year old who will be 18 in a few days. This mor...
A. 2 June 2011: This is sounding more like the teenager engaging in some creative writing than the mother of one.
What did her guidance counselor say? What did the teacher in the class she flunked say? "She never gave me any trouble" doesn't sound much like the ... (read in full...)
She has a double standard when it comes to professional touching
Q. My girlfriend of 2.5+ years is an aesthetician. Included in her duties are the occasional bacial (men’s back massage/skin treatment) and men’s facial, which includes an oiled up shoulder massage. When we first began dating she was very controlling ...
A. 2 June 2011: Um. Right. She's controlling and hypocritical. And you are with her because......????
Run, Forrest, RUN!... (read in full...)
My daughter only needs one summer school class to get her diploma, but she wants to get her GED instead! Should I encourage her to take the class?
Q. I am the mother of four children. Three are well over 21 and are attending community college, and two have recently transferred into a four year college. The youngest of my kids is my daughter, a 17 year old who will be 18 in a few days. This mor...
A. 2 June 2011: Oh, and double-check the admissions requirements for the local community college she'll be attending. Be sure you understand exactly what credentials she's expected to achieve prior to enrolling. Good luck.... (read in full...)
My daughter only needs one summer school class to get her diploma, but she wants to get her GED instead! Should I encourage her to take the class?
Q. I am the mother of four children. Three are well over 21 and are attending community college, and two have recently transferred into a four year college. The youngest of my kids is my daughter, a 17 year old who will be 18 in a few days. This mor...
A. 2 June 2011: You're just finding out now that your daughter isn't going to graduate this semester? Holy smokes, I think there's a lot more to this story that just that bombshell.
Shouldn't the first thing you do is go down to her school and find out what's been... (read in full...)
Did my daughter have sex while she was visiting a friend? Or am I over-exaggerating things?
Q. I am a father to a 17 year old girl. A little over a month ago i gave her permission to stay at her friend's house during Easter recess. She DID go, because i called one day and spoke to her mom who then passed the phone. Fine. I was proud of her. ...
A. 2 June 2011: "Do you know how stupid I felt when i heard her tell this friend that she was at a park 60 miles away while under the supervision of neighbors whom i have known for over 15 years? Its almost like she was laughing at me for being so stupid."
I thin... (read in full...)
Did my daughter have sex while she was visiting a friend? Or am I over-exaggerating things?
Q. I am a father to a 17 year old girl. A little over a month ago i gave her permission to stay at her friend's house during Easter recess. She DID go, because i called one day and spoke to her mom who then passed the phone. Fine. I was proud of her. ...
A. 2 June 2011: My parents made it pretty clear what would happen if I broke curfew, lied or otherwise violated the boundaries that they drew. We didn't have mobile phones back in the Dark Ages nor did we have social networking, but I expect had I violated their ... (read in full...)
Wife Said Top Fantasy Is Another Woman
Q. My wife and I were sharing fantasies. I thought mine were fairly normal and things we could do together. However, My wife's number 1 fantasy is sex with another woman. I was shocked! I am actually not part of any of her fantasies she listed. I ...
A. 2 June 2011: Is she having sex with you? Are you enjoying a mutually satisfying and enjoyable sex life together? If you are, then I think you are over-reacting.
Is she not having sex with you? Do you find your sex to be one-sided and unsatisfying emot... (read in full...)
Is his reluctance to get married a red flag?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years tells me he's not ready for marriage. We're both 27. We talk about commitment and how we see ourselves together long-term, but when I bring up marriage, he says he's not ready and doesn't want to discuss it. He's Ame...
A. 2 June 2011: Well, if marriage is something you want, and something he doesn't, you've got a fundamental difference to start with. By this point, he knows if he wants to marry you or not.
I guess in your shoes, I would decide if I could live with that unce... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my possesive wife?
Q. Possessive Wife. I love my wife and always try not to hurt her feelings in any way. The problem we have is that she does not want me to socialise with male friends for fear that they will get girls/ women for me. secondly when I move wit...
A. 2 June 2011: It sounds as though your wife is extremely insecure and controlling, to not want you to have any friends of either gender. Did you have a past of infidelity with her? Are you certain she is being faithful herself? Was her father faithful to her ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is emotionally blackmailing me unless I agree with her!
Q. I’ve been with my gf for almost 11 months, and we just had a conversation that severely divides and strains us. She’s 25. I’m 26. We’re both Asians. My mom had wanted me to clean her dryer front trapped lint for some time at her home. While cleaning ...
A. 2 June 2011: Just stay calm, cool and collected when talking to her and if she gets upset, ask her why she's so emotional about this. Perhaps there's a history of abandonment or lack of support. At any rate, you have had one eye-opening encounter with her about ... (read in full...)
Do you think its ok to have a couple's profile on Facebook and for me and my BF to share it together?
Q. My boyfriend made the suggestion last night that we delete both of our facebook profiles and create a new one that is a couples profile and share it together that way the people that add us or that are real true friends will not have a problem ...
A. 2 June 2011: I think if you're married it might be something to consider, but you are not at that stage yet. You are a couple, yes, but you are also individuals with individual friends and lives. If you are so entwined in each other's lives that you do ... (read in full...)
What does she wants from me?
Q. I don't understand why she acting like this on me. We started as friend and then eventually becomes very good friend. I have been there to support her all the way from when she went out with a guy who was using her and I was the only one who was ...
A. 1 June 2011: She doesn't want you as a boyfriend, I'm sorry to tell you.
You've unfriended another girl because she dared tell you the truth? Like you did to this girl? You're letting this girl whom you love alter your other friendships and behavior toward your... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is emotionally blackmailing me unless I agree with her!
Q. I’ve been with my gf for almost 11 months, and we just had a conversation that severely divides and strains us. She’s 25. I’m 26. We’re both Asians. My mom had wanted me to clean her dryer front trapped lint for some time at her home. While cleaning ...
A. 31 May 2011: Your mom SHOULD be more important to you than her family, or frankly, at this point in time, more important than she is. Sorry, but you two are dating for less than a year, you aren't discussing marriage and it isn't even on the horizon yet. Your ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is emotionally blackmailing me unless I agree with her!
Q. I’ve been with my gf for almost 11 months, and we just had a conversation that severely divides and strains us. She’s 25. I’m 26. We’re both Asians. My mom had wanted me to clean her dryer front trapped lint for some time at her home. While cleaning ...
A. 31 May 2011: Okay, this is not just about the dryer and the definition of a 'family member.' First of all, I agree with your stance on this. You shouldn't be expected to pay for a dryer you might break as you were trying to do her a favor. That's unreasonable.
F... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to have my g/f want anal?
Q. My girlfriend since one year ago has had very many sexual partners and she is only 19 years old. (i am 20) People always say that it is a good thing because she is very sexual if she has been sleeping around, but she isnt. She only did it because ...
A. 27 May 2011: I have to also raise the possibility that she has experienced abuse in her past. This forcing you to do unlubed anal sex seems to me to be coming from somewhere dark and ugly; she learned that she deserves to be hurt sexually from somewhere. I doubt ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to have my g/f want anal?
Q. My girlfriend since one year ago has had very many sexual partners and she is only 19 years old. (i am 20) People always say that it is a good thing because she is very sexual if she has been sleeping around, but she isnt. She only did it because ...
A. 27 May 2011: I'm assuming you are the OP (original poster). That information adds some more to the topic. Your girlfriend is using unlubed anal sex as a way of atoning or punishing herself. Right at this point, she has an unhealthy way of coping with conflict, ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to have my g/f want anal?
Q. My girlfriend since one year ago has had very many sexual partners and she is only 19 years old. (i am 20) People always say that it is a good thing because she is very sexual if she has been sleeping around, but she isnt. She only did it because ...
A. 26 May 2011: Here's her side:
"Dear Cupid,
My boyfriend has been bugging me about anal sex a LOT recently. The problem is that we've done it a couple of times so he thinks it's okay with me. The thing is, it's NOT okay.
See, the first time he did it, it was w... (read in full...)
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