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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 16 July 2011: BrokenSky, that is an inappropriate avatar to use. You haven't learned anything, have you? Stay off the games, go back to real life. Change your phone number, close your online accounts and start new ones and don't chat with strangers in the ... (read in full...)
She is becoming a whore and I care about her too much to let her do this to herself!
Q. Big problem. I have a friend that has been known to get around. I just became really good friends with her about 6 months ago and things between us got closer. I started to want to just have sex with her, but then she told me that she had feelings ...
A. 15 July 2011: The girl of the story is not asking the question. The guy is. So, I still say tell your parents. This girl is drinking and making bad choices. The best thing you can do for her is tell an adult who might be able to help.
If you truly are worr... (read in full...)
My ex is sending me mixed signals and tells me he needs a few years to figure out if he wants to stay married to me!
Q. My husband and I split up because he couldn't handle a stressful situation that we had no control over..he just couldn't step up to the plate and give support when needed. Now the situation is over, it is two months since I moved out and the whole ...
A. 15 July 2011: Sorry to hear that he didn't step up. You now know where you stand in his priorities. As to why it would take him 2-3 years to decide to reconcile? That's an odd time frame to work through. Were there other problems prior to this? How long were you ... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: I'm older than he said he is, dear. It's now time to get your friends and family back. Have you called them yet?
... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: You have feelings for the fantasy person he presented to you, NOT him. He is not the person he pretended to be. You expended time and energy on the fantasy, and that is what you need to realize.
Lesson #1: You didn't fall in love with a real pers... (read in full...)
Should I let my friend the world traveler say with me or not? What would you do?
Q. dear cupaid, I am having guilt and disappoinment over some friend issues. My Fabulous and popular friend the Pro world travler(and aspiring travel author) wants to come and stay with me and my DH again for 3 months. She wants to stay with me for 3 ...
A. 15 July 2011: I personally would have more consideration for my husband's feelings and my sanity than to allow a selfish mooch to plop down in my guest room for 3 months. I have enjoyed hosting lovely guests who come and visit for extended periods (that being 2 ... (read in full...)
She is becoming a whore and I care about her too much to let her do this to herself!
Q. Big problem. I have a friend that has been known to get around. I just became really good friends with her about 6 months ago and things between us got closer. I started to want to just have sex with her, but then she told me that she had feelings ...
A. 15 July 2011: There's a saying that may apply here: A whore is someone who will sleep with everyone but you.
Calling someone a "whore" is a way of putting someone down and making you feel better, as a rule.
Have you considered that your own choices and behavior... (read in full...)
Nice Guys
Q. Nice guys- a lot of us have overlooked them, rejected them, or simply ignored them. Then, we become interested and they're married. So, it's like a chick flick scene where a pretty girl tells her nice guy admirer that he's too much like a brother ...
A. 15 July 2011: There's an interesting and provocative take on "nice guys" here: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml
It's way over the top but points out the other factor that people seem to overlook in these types of discussions, that ther... (read in full...)
I don't want him as a boyfriend, what can I do?
Q. I split with my ex 2 month ago as he cheated on me. When I found out, he wasn't bothered that he broke my heart, laughed and moved on. I still have feelings for him but I also developed feelings towards my friend, who said he likes me. I said it ...
A. 15 July 2011: Say, "no, thank you for your care and concern. I'm not comfortable with this right now. Maybe we can revisit this in the future but right now, no. I will let you know when I want your help. Thank you."
You don't have to date if you're not ready to, ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be this crazy compaining person all the time but they really get to me.
Q. I am a middle child with two sisters, one older (divorcee no children, has a boyfriend), one younger (married with children). We are all in our thirties. We are a close family but I have a problem when they make arrangements and plan family dinners ...
A. 15 July 2011: You know what? I'd be accepting the silent treatment and the cold shoulder from them. No drama, no fuss, just let them stew about whatever imagined slight they perceive and I would go on about my life.
Obviously, you are concerned for your moth... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: Why don't you start by listing the lessons you have learned from this?... (read in full...)
Do girls regret some of the decisions they make when chosing guys?
Q. We were real into each other in the beginning, almost dating. Then something happened and she never had a chance to get over her ex. Suddenly, she wasn't ready for a relationship, which I understood. She said she's never been more sexually attracted ...
A. 15 July 2011: You signaled really clearly to this girl that you were blocking contact with her, so she helped you out by doing her own bit. Maybe she's tired of being made to feel guilty for not reciprocating your feelings for her. She can't force herself to feel ... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: Oh, and you have met a sexual predator. That is who he is and that is all you need to know about him. There's no point in dissecting his each and every word and action. It was all all lies from a sexual predator.... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: You let him into your life, now it's up to you to protect yourself. If you can't manage by yourself, get help from family and friends or call your doctor. Call Alcoholics Anonymous and go to a meeting if you are having problems with drinking or go ... (read in full...)
How do I prove to her that I do trust her?
Q. how can i get through to my gf that i do trust her? my gf says i give vibes of not trusting her. she says i don't trust her because im not ready to give her my cc info and car insurance info for rental cars or hotel reservations, i don't want her ...
A. 15 July 2011: It sounds like a losing proposition. Is there any way to check with previous boyfriends as to her fiscal responsibility? It all sounds a bit fishy.
Tell her your accountant and insurance agent have told you that you cannot give her that info... (read in full...)
Should I let my friend the world traveler say with me or not? What would you do?
Q. dear cupaid, I am having guilt and disappoinment over some friend issues. My Fabulous and popular friend the Pro world travler(and aspiring travel author) wants to come and stay with me and my DH again for 3 months. She wants to stay with me for 3 ...
A. 15 July 2011: It's not your job to accommodate your friend's need for a place to write her book. You have a life and a family and a husband, that is YOUR responsibility. Just because she can't figure out how to solve this problem herself doesn't make the problem ... (read in full...)
My ex is sending me mixed signals and tells me he needs a few years to figure out if he wants to stay married to me!
Q. My husband and I split up because he couldn't handle a stressful situation that we had no control over..he just couldn't step up to the plate and give support when needed. Now the situation is over, it is two months since I moved out and the whole ...
A. 15 July 2011: If you're unhappy with the level of contact, set your own rules. Where was it decreed that HE gets to decide the level of contact? And taking 2-3 years to decide if he wants to stay married? That's a pretty clear indicator that he DOESN'T want to ... (read in full...)
How long does it take to get rid of water retention?
Q. Could someone please tell me how long it takes to get rid of water retention? I'm aware of the ways to get rid of it but I can't find an answer as to how long it will take?...
A. 14 July 2011: http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Oedema/Pages/Introduction.aspx
I think it depends on what's causing it in the first place. The best person to ask would be your doctor or health care provider.... (read in full...)
Relationship going nowhere, need advice on how to break up with this girl
Q. After seeing this girl for about a couple months now, I have decided that things simply aren't going to work. Despite dropping hints, she still has no direction, drive or make any real effort to land a real job. Given that we are at the same age, ...
A. 14 July 2011: Put yourself in her shoes and decide how you'd like your heart broken. I'm serious. What's the best way to let you down? There's no way that it won't cause pain, so what can you do to minimize the suffering?
"Carla, I'm afraid that I am not goin... (read in full...)
Are there any methods of temporary sterilization?
Q. What are some reliable forms of temporary sterilization for women? I'm on birth control, but I want something that's 100% without having to clip myself. I've never heard of one, but maybe others have? Are there anything out there? I'm currently ...
A. 13 July 2011: There's nothing except abstinence that is 100% effective. It would be nice, wouldn't it? Anyway, here is a chart that should help you see what the options are and how they stack up in terms of preventing unwanted pregnancy:
h... (read in full...)
He misunderstood my texts and now wants to break up with me!
Q. On Monday Fourth of July, I sent my bf of 8mths. a text saying I was drinking at a friends house and that her bf was there. So my bf thought right away that I was cheating that I was with a friend of my friends bf. But the thing is it was a joke I ...
A. 13 July 2011: It wasn't a misunderstanding. It was a cruel 'joke' designed to push him to react. What did you think he'd do? What were you hoping to accomplish?
It sounds like he's not willing to stick around to see what 'joke' you'd come up with next.
My gu... (read in full...)
Girls: Have you ever been rejected?
Q. Girls have you ever approached a guy and had him reject you? I am not talking about being dumped. I am talking about when you first meet a guy, you put yourself out there and ask him out and he shoots you down. I have this theory. Most girls seem ...
A. 13 July 2011: The one that smarts the most was when I was about 20 or so. I thought he was gorgeous and smart and handsome. I was cute and not too shabby myself but I guess he didn't think I was in his league. I think if he could have figured out a way to run ... (read in full...)
Is she over reacting to our Daughter's facebook or am I irresponsible.
Q. Me and my wife split up over 2 years ago. I quickly found someone new and we have been living together for over a year. My ex has always let me see my daughters every other weekend and they have been allowed to sleep over at weekends and during ...
A. 12 July 2011: How old is your daughter?
... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with her sister, she won't leave me alone..
Q. Hello dear cupic and agony aunt,i have a problem,am 22, my gf is 20. Let me hit d nail on its head! My gf and i were having sex in her place (d girl's room) and her elder sister (who is my age) came in and saw us. Now she wants me to have sex with ...
A. 12 July 2011: "So should i?"
No.
"What if my gf(her sister) finds out."
Well, if you don't sleep with her sister, there's nothing to find out. If you do sleep with her sister, then how do you think she'd feel? Generally, people dislike having their boy/gi... (read in full...)
We want a baby. How can we when our sex life is kind of difficult?
Q. My fiance and I are trying to conceive a baby. however we are both little over weight and well...he is kind of small down there. I'm not very comfortable being on top, but everytime we have sex, his penis doesnt stay in. We both very much want...
A. 11 July 2011: Lots of women conceive using artificial insemination. You could try yourself with a turkey baster if he has trouble ejaculating in your vagina.
I think I'm with the people who say it's probably a better idea to sort out your own health issues firs... (read in full...)
My GF wants me to remove a tattoo from my chest which spells my late sister's name, because my ex had the same name, and my GF doesn't want to be reminded of my ex!
Q. My twin sister died a few years ago in a car accident. I was really affected by her death. She wasn't just my sister but my best friend. I got a tattoo of her name on my chest so that she'll always be next to my heart. I have been seeing a...
A. 11 July 2011: You're 16-17? And this girl is demanding you remove a meaningful tattoo? Um, run. Seriously, run. She's insecure and controlling and maybe it's immaturity or maybe it's more than that but you don't need to have your life controlled by a 16-17 ... (read in full...)
There's something wrong when my fiance isn't coming home until dawn is breaking
Q. I have been with my fiancee for over 5 years. I love her, and couldn't imagine my life without her. That isn't to say we aren't without our problems. Our most pressing issue is that we work different schedules. I'm an attorney, and she's in the ...
A. 11 July 2011: So once a week, she goes out after work with her co-workers? I think that it is not uncommon for people in the food/restaurant/bar industry to unwind in this way, it's perhaps comparable to the M-F 9-5 crew going out and staying out really late on a ... (read in full...)
What do women think of past FWBs'? Does he fade from memory? Do you just fondly remember the great sex once in a while? Do you ever miss it?
Q. I'm curious what women think of men in their past who they had FWB relationships and how it compares to loves in their life. I've read here many times how women almost always prefer a loving relationship to just a sexual one, but when you finally ...
A. 11 July 2011: I expect they have faded in whatever 'glory' you have overly ascribed to them and are now insignificant in her memory. Do you begrudge her happy memories of her past? Would it make you feel better if she was miserably unhappy about how awful her ... (read in full...)
How can I stop them calling me this nickname?
Q. Hello - can anyone help with this please? It may seem so stupid but..two of my boyfriend's female friends (who he has known for over 10 years and they are married to his best friends) have started calling me a nickname. It isn't a nasty one, just ...
A. 11 July 2011: I like mystiquek's solution. Just smile brightly, say, "I think these two have an affectionate nickname for me. But the name I prefer to use is Samantha."
And when you have the chance, just say simply, "I know that the name JoJo has been used for ... (read in full...)
I don't wan't to leave my wife, but I have very strong feelings for this other woman. Is it possible to love two women and not hurt anyone?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm new to this site, but appreciate everyone's candor and returns on their experience. I am and have been happily married for 20 years now with my french wife in Paris. I love my wife, we are close and loving and I am proud ...
A. 10 July 2011: Give your wife the chance to decide for herself what kind of marriage she wants to be in. It's not a unilateral state, it's a partnership and both partners together decide on the rules of the union. If you would like to change the rules, the ... (read in full...)
Do relationships ever come out of FWB relationships?
Q. hi all do relationships ever come out of fuck buddys just wondering as me and this man are having sex and im really starting to fall for him i don,t want to tell him cos i don,t want to scare him off thanks everyone...
A. 10 July 2011: "I have something I would like to say, to keep us honest with each other. I'm starting to develop deeper feelings for you and have realized that I do want more than merely a physical connection with you. Maybe it's the wonderful sex, maybe it's your ... (read in full...)
How do I start to slim down?
Q. Hi I know this isn't a relationship question but I'm desperate for some help. Its about my weight, I can't afford to join weightwatchers or slimmersworld etc or the gym for that matter because I've just lost my job. The thing is 2 years ago me and m...
A. 10 July 2011: A friend of mine dances around her house each morning for one hour. She puts on some fun music (anything, reggae, rock, pop, classical, whatever appeals that day) and simply starts to move.
There are thousands of videos on working out at yout... (read in full...)
Is there any point to dating and relationships if you are infertile?
Q. My partners ex, was fertile and had children for my partner. I am infertile and cannot have any children. My partner seems okay with this, but his mother told me that I should do the right thing and leave him, so he can have a family and be happy ...
A. 7 July 2011: "The whole purpose in life is to procreate." Damn, I missed the memo. *slaps forehead* Oh well, I guess I'll get on with my life nonetheless. Oh, yeah, I already did! My bad!
Seriously, really? Who told you that? As you are a scientist, I'm just... (read in full...)
Is it because I'm a virgin?
Q. Hey, so im 16 and im dating my brothers friend who is 23. We are very close and have no secrets. He wants to marry me and have me live with him once I turn 18. He has this issue down south and he gets an extremely unbearable pain if he doesnt have ...
A. 7 July 2011: Oh and one more thing. You don't have to be intimate with him if you don't want to and you don't have to figure out why. You're still young and have plenty of time for physical intimacy, no rush. It's a really bad idea to do something before you are ... (read in full...)
Is it because I'm a virgin?
Q. Hey, so im 16 and im dating my brothers friend who is 23. We are very close and have no secrets. He wants to marry me and have me live with him once I turn 18. He has this issue down south and he gets an extremely unbearable pain if he doesnt have ...
A. 7 July 2011: The male body will take care of such things if there hasn't been an ejaculation within some internally specified length of time. These are called 'nocturnal emissions' more commonly known as 'wet dreams.'
You are not responsible for his lack of m... (read in full...)
Do all girlfriends steal from their boyfriends?
Q. My favorite soft drink is Mountain Dew and I have a Mountain Dew T-shirt. After my girlfriend came up in my room and when I wasn't in my room with her, I think she took my T-shirt. I'm not 100% sure she took it, but my T-shirt has been missing for a ...
A. 7 July 2011: If there is cash missing from your wallet and your iPod has vanished, that's one kind of stealing, the bad kind. The accidental 'borrowing' of a favorite T-shirt I think is actually pretty common and probably means that she's really into you. It's ... (read in full...)
Am I Pregnant ?
Q. i miss my period in june and its now july and my period has not arrived as yet.... i took a preg test on friday and its negative..do u think even though it negative at that time i'm pregnant?......
A. 7 July 2011: We cannot tell if you are pregnant. You have to see a doctor or take a test at the correct time. Sorry!... (read in full...)
How do I trust my LDR guy when I have caught him in so many lies?
Q. Hello everyone... I want to know your opinions on this: Im in a long distance relationship with my bf, but I do not trust him completely. the reaons being is that he has lied to me before about small stuff, like meeting up with a friend (who is a...
A. 6 July 2011: How is it that you are in an LDR in the first place? How often do you see him? ... (read in full...)
Reasons I can't move in with my controlling boyfriend!
Q. Hey everyone, soo I've been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years. We both know we want each other in our future but today he asked me if I wanted to MOVE IN TOGETHER AND START LOOKING FOR A PLACE! And it scared me for some reason, I did feel ...
A. 4 July 2011: "I'm not ready to live with anyone just yet. I do love you and want to be with you, but I need to be on my own for at least a year, pay my own rent and utilities and just experience life on my own terms. I'm sure you can understand how important ... (read in full...)
Why do my nipples burn with great pain?
Q. Right, so long story short, I have been trying to conceive with no luck for just over a year. Periods have always been messed up. I'm not using any contraception. I have missed 7 periods in a row in the past and my doctor thought in the early months ...
A. 4 July 2011: A friend of mine had mysterious pains in her breasts and clean mammograms. She bugged her doctor until she got an ultrasound of the breasts. Guess what. They found a 2 cm tumor behind a fibroid in one. An aggressive cancer but caught early, so a ... (read in full...)
If you are not beautiful? Beauty is so useless. Why do people give such a damn about it?
Q. I hate my body and can't accept it! let's just say that my body looks nothing like the 36-24-36 ideal of the media. And sure people say that it's the inside that matters but people are so hypocritical! Especially men! Because they say they want a ...
A. 4 July 2011: Another way out of your predicament is to dump the boyfriend, and date only blind men. I'm serious.... (read in full...)
If you are not beautiful? Beauty is so useless. Why do people give such a damn about it?
Q. I hate my body and can't accept it! let's just say that my body looks nothing like the 36-24-36 ideal of the media. And sure people say that it's the inside that matters but people are so hypocritical! Especially men! Because they say they want a ...
A. 4 July 2011: No, seriously, go do what I said. You need to catch a case of grateful, and stop feeding yourself the bile. Get a better counselor, and maybe talk to your doc, there might be a med that could help.
If you REALLY want change, which I doubt, but if y... (read in full...)
If you are not beautiful? Beauty is so useless. Why do people give such a damn about it?
Q. I hate my body and can't accept it! let's just say that my body looks nothing like the 36-24-36 ideal of the media. And sure people say that it's the inside that matters but people are so hypocritical! Especially men! Because they say they want a ...
A. 4 July 2011: Yes, I have a suggestion for you to be grateful for the gift of the healthy young body you now have. Go volunteer in hospitals with people who have mastectomies, who have lost limbs, who have disfiguring conditions. Spend some time with people who ... (read in full...)
FWB who has moved to another state, wants to take our relationship to the next level. Now he wants nude pics of mine. Thoughts?
Q. So here's my dilemma, I a 20yr old woman and last year I left a 4yr relationship and I knew I wanted to be single for a while but as we all know not everything goes as planned. A few months after my break up I met a 23yr old guy in November...
A. 2 July 2011: "I did like him a little but not enough to want to be in a committed serious relationship with him."
"he did want to attempt to take what we have to another level make up more like an unlabeled couple then sex buddys and we decided that we coul... (read in full...)
My married lover now wants a threesome!
Q. I have been in a "relationship" with a married man for 7 years. We see each other every now and again and really enjoy each other physically, emotionally and psychologically. He was always honest with regards to his status and that was fine with me. ...
A. 2 July 2011: You've made it clear you are not into women. You've said no. He either thinks you are a closet bisexual or this little scenario is for HIM, all about HIS psyche. Pretty basic.... (read in full...)
We both got totally drunk and my wife was lying naked next to another guy!
Q. I went with my wife to a party this past weekend and we got completely wasted, neither of us remember the later parts of the night. But all I know is that when I woke up my wife was nowhere near me. When I looked around the house for her, I found ...
A. 1 July 2011: Oh, and I nearly forgot. As you both got so wasted and so drunk, and assuming it wasn't a deliberate drugging on someone else's part, a good place for you two to go is to an AA meeting.
Alcohol can make people do some really stupid things, dang... (read in full...)
We hardly spend anytime together and when we do we jump straight to sex..what can I do?
Q. I started messing around with a guy in April, we started dating in May. It's been almost 2 months goin out with him. But when it all started everything was PERFECT and it was amazing. 3 weeks after we started goin out things started changing...
A. 1 July 2011: You can't fix this, he's the one who has engineered things the way he likes it. He knows you like him and that's why he can get away with it.
I'd ditch him, personally, he's a user and a loser. Sorry!... (read in full...)
We both got totally drunk and my wife was lying naked next to another guy!
Q. I went with my wife to a party this past weekend and we got completely wasted, neither of us remember the later parts of the night. But all I know is that when I woke up my wife was nowhere near me. When I looked around the house for her, I found ...
A. 1 July 2011: Oh, never mind, the test for rohypnol is only useful 72 hours after the drug is administered. Sorry. You may indeed have reason to be angry with her but there is the chance that this was a planned attack on her. I don't know how you go about finding ... (read in full...)
We both got totally drunk and my wife was lying naked next to another guy!
Q. I went with my wife to a party this past weekend and we got completely wasted, neither of us remember the later parts of the night. But all I know is that when I woke up my wife was nowhere near me. When I looked around the house for her, I found ...
A. 1 July 2011: Get her and yourself to a doctor and have her tested to see if she was given 'rufies' or rohypnol, the so-called 'date rape' drug. Just on the off-chance this was a set up. It would be a great shame for you to flip out only to find out later she'd ... (read in full...)
My married lover now wants a threesome!
Q. I have been in a "relationship" with a married man for 7 years. We see each other every now and again and really enjoy each other physically, emotionally and psychologically. He was always honest with regards to his status and that was fine with me. ...
A. 1 July 2011: He's obsessed with it because he's having a major fantasy about it and isn't too concerned with your feelings. I guess he's pushing on you to do it because he feels he can convince you to do things you don't like?
Maybe it's a midlife crisis, mayb... (read in full...)
FWB who has moved to another state, wants to take our relationship to the next level. Now he wants nude pics of mine. Thoughts?
Q. So here's my dilemma, I a 20yr old woman and last year I left a 4yr relationship and I knew I wanted to be single for a while but as we all know not everything goes as planned. A few months after my break up I met a 23yr old guy in November...
A. 1 July 2011: "well now a days that's considered normal let's be real." Just because a lot of people do it doesn't make it a smart thing to do. Lots of people drink too much and drive too. Or smoke and think they won't have health consequences.
"I've never sent... (read in full...)
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