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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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I'm nervous about asking her out, and wondering what she means by 'don't get too clingy'!
Q. I have a crush on this coworker, who I have known for nearly a year now. The problem is that because I only started liking her a few months ago, we were already friends. She gives me all the signs of liking me but I think its just her way of showing ...
A. 20 July 2011: Ah, that makes it clearer. She may have had a clingy boyfriend at one time, so was warning you not to do that when you get into a relationship, as you said.
Based on what you've written, keep hanging out with her. See if you can raise your date... (read in full...)
Looked at boyfriend's phone.....now I'm struggling to trust him.
Q. Once I read my bfs phone (I know, but don't judge me, I did have valid reason) and read some really inappropriate stuff to a girl he once dated (photos, sex talk and other stuff you don't say when you have a gf - it was his relationship with her ...
A. 18 July 2011: You decided to try and move on. Well, it looks like he's unable to succeed in staying trustworthy, so it's really time to move on, from him.
He isn't trustworthy, he's hiding things and he knows this is a problem for you.
Why stick around for the ... (read in full...)
I bought a new motorcycle and my best friend was really hurtful about it!
Q. My best friend's comment has me baffled. I emailed my best friend and told her I bought a new motorcycle. Her response to me was: "OMG!!! I am shocked that you bought a bike. DO YOU WANT TO BE KILLED???? ARE YOU NUTS????? YES!!!!! HELMETS...
A. 18 July 2011: Ah, so she got the email that you bought a motorcycle when she was still processing the awful news about your brother?
You know what, if you want to be angry with her, go ahead, we can't tell you what you feel. Yes, you can be angry with her for ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is making me feel like a prisoner.....what can I do?
Q. My boyfriend is too controlling.i got a new job as a cabin crew but my boyfriend want me to be pregnant and leave the job if not he will leave me alone.what shall i do?... I am 29, i am living with my boyfrend for 2 years he is 43 and he is separ...
A. 18 July 2011: There are RED FLAGS (warning signs) all over this post. You are in an abusive relationship, where he wants to control you to the point of rendering you dependent on him. Please find a way to leave him safely; get friends or family to help. He may ... (read in full...)
Seeing a guy in an open marriage, why is he telling other guys to get lost?
Q. I'm in a relationship with a guy from an open marriage. We were out the other night at the bars with our friends and there was a guy talking to me. I am single so that's okay. The guy from the open marriage told him I wasn't interested and to get ...
A. 18 July 2011: Vintage64 asked the pertinent question. Are you single or are you committed to the other guy?
You'd really have to ask the guy in question. We can make all kinds of guesses but the open marriage guy knows why he did what he did.... (read in full...)
Fiance said horrible things to me while really drunk. Was it just the alcohol?
Q. my fiance told me last night whilst drunk that he hated me and how he thinks im a bad mum to our children, he said i should get out of his life and how he can do so much better than me how he deserves so much better than me. this all started due to ...
A. 18 July 2011: And what did he say when you discussed his horrible words when he was sober?... (read in full...)
We cannot complete sex. Is it my boyfriend or me?
Q. I'm in my early 30's and still a virgin. I was abused when I was 11 yrs old. I was physiically abused but my attacker did not succeed in raping me.. In other words, I was not penetrated. Since then, I developed a fear of men. During my teens, I was ...
A. 18 July 2011: What did the therapist you've been working with say? And if you haven't been working with a therapist, it's clearly time to find one, as the aftermath of the abuse remains a problem for you.
You can ask your gynecologist for a referral, and talk... (read in full...)
I bought a new motorcycle and my best friend was really hurtful about it!
Q. My best friend's comment has me baffled. I emailed my best friend and told her I bought a new motorcycle. Her response to me was: "OMG!!! I am shocked that you bought a bike. DO YOU WANT TO BE KILLED???? ARE YOU NUTS????? YES!!!!! HELMETS...
A. 17 July 2011: So let's review. Your brother suffered major trauma in a car accident, and right after this week, you go out and buy a motorcycle. For some reason, while your brother is in a hospital fighting for his life, you find the time to buy a vehicle that ... (read in full...)
I want to break up with this lying cheat, but what do I tell him?
Q. I've found out that my boyfriend is a lying cheat. However, I found this out by looking through his phone and now I don't know how to confront him because I don't want to reveal that I went behind his back!! What do I do?? Should I just tell him ...
A. 17 July 2011: I forgot to add, why do you think a lying cheat deserves more of an explanation? His conscience should be telling him the reason, even if you don't.... (read in full...)
I want to break up with this lying cheat, but what do I tell him?
Q. I've found out that my boyfriend is a lying cheat. However, I found this out by looking through his phone and now I don't know how to confront him because I don't want to reveal that I went behind his back!! What do I do?? Should I just tell him ...
A. 17 July 2011: Without trying to do what? Trying to save the relationship? I'm sorry, you said you wanted to end the relationship, I took that to mean you wanted to end the relationship.
You could just tell him that you can't date a cheater and that's all you inte... (read in full...)
I'm nervous about asking her out, and wondering what she means by 'don't get too clingy'!
Q. I have a crush on this coworker, who I have known for nearly a year now. The problem is that because I only started liking her a few months ago, we were already friends. She gives me all the signs of liking me but I think its just her way of showing ...
A. 17 July 2011: It's not a good sign, her telling you not to get clingy. How did she arrive at that conclusion, anyway? What did you tell her about your previous relationships? Maybe she is seeing something in you that caused her to warn you, maybe she doesn't want ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's mood swings are a problem for me!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years. She is gorgeous and giving more than 100% to this relationship. But we have one problem, my Girlfriend's unbearable mood swings....one moment she will make me laugh like crazy and after few hours ...
A. 17 July 2011: "I have spoken to her about it to find out whether she had or have some problems that make her having this mood swings and she answered saying that If I love her I should love every emotion of her which I do."
And so the same should be true for her.... (read in full...)
I want to break up with this lying cheat, but what do I tell him?
Q. I've found out that my boyfriend is a lying cheat. However, I found this out by looking through his phone and now I don't know how to confront him because I don't want to reveal that I went behind his back!! What do I do?? Should I just tell him ...
A. 17 July 2011: How about just end the relationship? "It's not working for me any more. I'm ending it. Sorry. Goodbye." Is the problem that you want him to know you know he's a lying cheat? Or is it you don't know how to end it?... (read in full...)
Are all men into kink?
Q. I mean, really, dating at age 49 seems like I have to deal with a lot of kink. And they're bloody upfront about it too: I go to a singles dance mixer night last night, and these are the chatty pick up lines blokes used, "what do you like in a man?" ...
A. 17 July 2011: Writing alimony checks and minding the children?... (read in full...)
Question for Sagittarius females, insisting or not? If yes, how?
Q. Hi there, I am a 31 years old Aries male (with ascendent in Leo) and recently I had an unusual experience with a Sagittarius female. Long story short: I know her for 3 years, but all this time I had another relationship. All this time we w...
A. 17 July 2011: Is it possible she fears being blamed for the end of the other relationship?
Another factor to consider is that sometimes it's risky to date a person who has just ended a relationship. There is something we call a 'rebound' relationship, which is a... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy does that?
Q. me and this guy have been on and off and he always said he cared about me, wants to be with me. but one time i was realy frustrated and hurt by his lack of seeing me and i asked him to just tell me he liked me, he liked sleeping with me but he didnt ...
A. 17 July 2011: Are you in a relationship with him beyond FWB? I'd say he felt badly you were crying and did his clumsy best to make you stop crying.
If you are unhappy with his level of interest in you, rather than try to guilt him into seeing you more, empo... (read in full...)
Question for Sagittarius females, insisting or not? If yes, how?
Q. Hi there, I am a 31 years old Aries male (with ascendent in Leo) and recently I had an unusual experience with a Sagittarius female. Long story short: I know her for 3 years, but all this time I had another relationship. All this time we w...
A. 17 July 2011: A lead-on means someone who is letting you think she is more interested than she actually is.
Are you currently single or are you still dating this other person, just to clarify that point?
... (read in full...)
I've lost all my confidence in my oral skills!
Q. My bf says he finds oral relaxing rather than a turn on. He enjoys it, but his erection soon goes floppy once I start sucking him off. My ex's have told me I am very good at oral so I don't feel it's entirely my fault. Regardless, it makes me feel ...
A. 17 July 2011: Is the oral for him or for you? If it's for him, and he doesn't really respond, I don't see the need to force him to enjoy it. If it's for you, then go ahead and do enough of it to turn you on and then proceed on to the next thing that you BOTH ... (read in full...)
Random Chat-Ups - What does they mean?
Q. This is just a bit of a general questioning and open for discussion on the topic of being chatted up.. As a female when men 'hit on you' in the street during the day or in a bar, do you think these types of men are ever genuine or are they the type...
A. 17 July 2011: My sister met a guy in a bar one summer. They've been married now for 12 years and have 2 children. Funny thing was that she hadn't been all dressed up for the evening, she and a girlfriend had just come in off the beach for a drink before dinner. ... (read in full...)
Question for Sagittarius females, insisting or not? If yes, how?
Q. Hi there, I am a 31 years old Aries male (with ascendent in Leo) and recently I had an unusual experience with a Sagittarius female. Long story short: I know her for 3 years, but all this time I had another relationship. All this time we w...
A. 17 July 2011: I'd check with your mutual friend first to see if she is okay, with no family crises or other emergencies that would prevent her from contacting you. If there is nothing, then I think I would take the hint that she's not actually interested in going ... (read in full...)
I.m in love with a gangster,but have to leave him?
Q. hi all. Plz help. I.ve got deeply involved with a criminal who also has loads of baggage. 4 kids,dodgy dealings etc.it started out as a bit of fun,and to give him credit,he did mention what he did,and is saying he,s putting the money into a legal ...
A. 17 July 2011: If your nerves are in shreds, why not simply stop seeing him and don't call him back? Tell your friends you need distracting and ask your mum for support too. If you know it's bad news why stick around and make it worse?
... (read in full...)
I.m in love with a gangster,but have to leave him?
Q. hi all. Plz help. I.ve got deeply involved with a criminal who also has loads of baggage. 4 kids,dodgy dealings etc.it started out as a bit of fun,and to give him credit,he did mention what he did,and is saying he,s putting the money into a legal ...
A. 17 July 2011: "He makes me feel special." That's where you should start. Why do you feel ordinary without him? Why do you feel so low about yourself that you have invited this drama and this guy into your life?
Figure out why you have such low self-esteem and ... (read in full...)
I can't stand the sight of my husband and I hate feeling this way!
Q. I can't stand the sight of my husband. I dread his return from work every day. Almost everything about him annoys me. His facial expressions, the way he stands, the topics he talks about... My husband is a really good man! He is very loyal and if he ...
A. 17 July 2011: Amateur pop psychology here: you have buried anger that you haven't dealt with. Intellectually you know that you shouldn't feel it, so you deny you have it and try to carry on as normal. However, you can't carry on as normal because the accumulated ... (read in full...)
Is there any way for this relationship to maybe return from sexual interest to our original real connection?
Q. I met a guy on the internet a few months ago, and he and I have been talking regularly ever since. Since day one, I really feel like the two of us have had a connection. Everything clicks. But recently things have taken a turn from genuine interest ...
A. 17 July 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-pretended-to-be-young-when-really-he.html
That one has a lot of the same elements, only you haven't figured out he's a skeeve yet.
So guys who are trolling the internet for sex partners do it because it it's a l... (read in full...)
I am ready for sex but find myself making excuses!
Q. Okay. So here's the deal. My boyfriend and I love each other very much and we have so much desire to make love. I am a virgin but he isnt. The farthest we have gone is making out, and phone sex. I am feeling a bit scared and doubtful of doing things ...
A. 16 July 2011: I don't really think you are ready. You are spending a lot of time trying to talk yourself into it, but you have more reasons not to do it. So I'd say, take the pressure off, don't force yourself to do anything just yet.
You might want to exam... (read in full...)
Pardon, your slip is showing!
Q. My Aunt has recently given me some brand new 1960s style underwear which includes some waist slips with pleated hems one black, one brown and one white.I could not resist wearing them and these slips are absolutely gorgeous and when the pleats of ...
A. 16 July 2011: I was in my 20s in the 80s and if someone's slip was showing, we'd tell them so they could fix it. I don't remember it being a trend at the time, but if it was a fashion among teenagers, it still wasn't suitable for an office environment.
... (read in full...)
Still in love with my ex teacher!
Q. Ok, so here is what's going down. I am 14 years old (closer to 15 at the moment however), and I had a few problems a couple years ago. I was at middle school, in year 7, aged 12 at the time. I had a maths teacher who I was fond of, he is very good ...
A. 16 July 2011: Sweetheart, there are many questions from girls like you who have strong feelings for their teachers. People don't answer these threads because the girls who ask these types of questions don't want to hear the truth. What's the truth? Your teacher ... (read in full...)
I bought a new motorcycle and my best friend was really hurtful about it!
Q. My best friend's comment has me baffled. I emailed my best friend and told her I bought a new motorcycle. Her response to me was: "OMG!!! I am shocked that you bought a bike. DO YOU WANT TO BE KILLED???? ARE YOU NUTS????? YES!!!!! HELMETS...
A. 16 July 2011: Maybe she didn't choose her words that carefully but her concern for you seems genuine. In the field of organ donation, motorcycles are more commonly known as 'donorcycles.'
I guess you could tell her that you found her choice of words trou... (read in full...)
I don't want to move on but have no idea what to do to.
Q. It's like this, we had been going out for a month and now she tell me that she's not in the right state of mind for a relationship, she said that she want to be good friends and we may get back together when she's ready for a relationship. The thing ...
A. 16 July 2011: Think about how you feel when you are 'out of your shell.' How is it that she draws you out? How can you replicate those feelings without depending on her to do it for you?
Unfortunately, most of us experience a breakup in our lives, it's just part... (read in full...)
When he gets needy, all I want to do is be alone.
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for 1.5 years now. We see each other about every 6 weeks, and the longest stretch was 3 weeks in a row. I thought he was everything I was looking for sweet, kind, loving, smart, funny...ect., but now I am...
A. 16 July 2011: Have you talked with him about your need for personal space and time away from him? Do you get the sense that he's relying on you for all his emotional and interpersonal interactions?
I think it's reasonable to let him know that you are feeling suff... (read in full...)
All my boyfriends have been cheaters ...
Q. i have seen many bad days. None of my relationship was successful. All my boyfriends cheated with me. M so stressed and unhappy. Now adays smal smal things irritates me and i start fighting with who ever comes cross. Please help me...how can i ...
A. 16 July 2011: Sorry to hear you are suffering with bad relationships and unhealthy thinking. I have a couple of things you might find helpful.
Books: "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck, M.D. Basically acknowledges that life is suffering but it's worth wo... (read in full...)
Should I go for sex with my virgin girlfriend if I am not able to marry her?
Q. Hello ! Me and my Girlfriend is going to meet on this 18th July 2011.. I am planing to have sex and give her a little bit hint about it.. She was excited and expecting me for a great make out..But The problem is She is virgin and I am really feeling ...
A. 16 July 2011: If you make her unmarriageable by having sex with her, then don't do it. Your feelings don't really mean much for her life in the long run, do they? Just because you'd feel bad when she does finally get married isn't a good enough reason to destroy ... (read in full...)
Pardon, your slip is showing!
Q. My Aunt has recently given me some brand new 1960s style underwear which includes some waist slips with pleated hems one black, one brown and one white.I could not resist wearing them and these slips are absolutely gorgeous and when the pleats of ...
A. 16 July 2011: Save wardrobe playing for playtime, not the office. Unless you are in a creative field, you're just making yourself look sloppy and unkempt to management. Probably not the best career move.... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 16 July 2011: BrokenSky, that is an inappropriate avatar to use. You haven't learned anything, have you? Stay off the games, go back to real life. Change your phone number, close your online accounts and start new ones and don't chat with strangers in the ... (read in full...)
She believes rules don't apply to her because she is beautiful!!
Q. i was interested in a girl I met in the metro who is a model. she's not famous or anything but makes a living doing modeling...of course she is drop dead gorgeous. but she seemed approachable. so i got to talking with her. we went on a few dates a...
A. 15 July 2011: "also men are always judging you on your looks and trying to hit on you."
Did you ever see the movie "The Sixth Sense"?
She's basically told you that you judged her by her looks and hit on her based on that. You have conformed to her assessme... (read in full...)
She is becoming a whore and I care about her too much to let her do this to herself!
Q. Big problem. I have a friend that has been known to get around. I just became really good friends with her about 6 months ago and things between us got closer. I started to want to just have sex with her, but then she told me that she had feelings ...
A. 15 July 2011: The girl of the story is not asking the question. The guy is. So, I still say tell your parents. This girl is drinking and making bad choices. The best thing you can do for her is tell an adult who might be able to help.
If you truly are worr... (read in full...)
My ex is sending me mixed signals and tells me he needs a few years to figure out if he wants to stay married to me!
Q. My husband and I split up because he couldn't handle a stressful situation that we had no control over..he just couldn't step up to the plate and give support when needed. Now the situation is over, it is two months since I moved out and the whole ...
A. 15 July 2011: Sorry to hear that he didn't step up. You now know where you stand in his priorities. As to why it would take him 2-3 years to decide to reconcile? That's an odd time frame to work through. Were there other problems prior to this? How long were you ... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: I'm older than he said he is, dear. It's now time to get your friends and family back. Have you called them yet?
... (read in full...)
Dating for a year and never gone on a "date" yet!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. We get along fine and time with just ourselves is great. We have never gone on a date yet. I've tried to plan 3 but always something came up with my bf and the date would be called off. Afte...
A. 15 July 2011: How old is he? And how did you two meet?
... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: You have feelings for the fantasy person he presented to you, NOT him. He is not the person he pretended to be. You expended time and energy on the fantasy, and that is what you need to realize.
Lesson #1: You didn't fall in love with a real pers... (read in full...)
Should I let my friend the world traveler say with me or not? What would you do?
Q. dear cupaid, I am having guilt and disappoinment over some friend issues. My Fabulous and popular friend the Pro world travler(and aspiring travel author) wants to come and stay with me and my DH again for 3 months. She wants to stay with me for 3 ...
A. 15 July 2011: I personally would have more consideration for my husband's feelings and my sanity than to allow a selfish mooch to plop down in my guest room for 3 months. I have enjoyed hosting lovely guests who come and visit for extended periods (that being 2 ... (read in full...)
She is becoming a whore and I care about her too much to let her do this to herself!
Q. Big problem. I have a friend that has been known to get around. I just became really good friends with her about 6 months ago and things between us got closer. I started to want to just have sex with her, but then she told me that she had feelings ...
A. 15 July 2011: There's a saying that may apply here: A whore is someone who will sleep with everyone but you.
Calling someone a "whore" is a way of putting someone down and making you feel better, as a rule.
Have you considered that your own choices and behavior... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: Why don't you start by listing the lessons you have learned from this?... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: Oh, and you have met a sexual predator. That is who he is and that is all you need to know about him. There's no point in dissecting his each and every word and action. It was all all lies from a sexual predator.... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: You let him into your life, now it's up to you to protect yourself. If you can't manage by yourself, get help from family and friends or call your doctor. Call Alcoholics Anonymous and go to a meeting if you are having problems with drinking or go ... (read in full...)
Should I let my friend the world traveler say with me or not? What would you do?
Q. dear cupaid, I am having guilt and disappoinment over some friend issues. My Fabulous and popular friend the Pro world travler(and aspiring travel author) wants to come and stay with me and my DH again for 3 months. She wants to stay with me for 3 ...
A. 15 July 2011: It's not your job to accommodate your friend's need for a place to write her book. You have a life and a family and a husband, that is YOUR responsibility. Just because she can't figure out how to solve this problem herself doesn't make the problem ... (read in full...)
My ex is sending me mixed signals and tells me he needs a few years to figure out if he wants to stay married to me!
Q. My husband and I split up because he couldn't handle a stressful situation that we had no control over..he just couldn't step up to the plate and give support when needed. Now the situation is over, it is two months since I moved out and the whole ...
A. 15 July 2011: If you're unhappy with the level of contact, set your own rules. Where was it decreed that HE gets to decide the level of contact? And taking 2-3 years to decide if he wants to stay married? That's a pretty clear indicator that he DOESN'T want to ... (read in full...)
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