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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Boyfriend has history of violence. Am I worrying too much?
Q. Long story short, I found out over the last couple of days that my boyfriend has a really bad temper. I haven't been dating him for long and i've known hes had a bad temper for a while but i'm now gett...
A. 5 April 2012: It sounds like things are settling down for him, which is good to hear. I hope he is able to consistently walk away, and more importantly, not wind up in situations which escalate to the point of him needing to walk away.
Naturally, you are focu... (read in full...)
Should I try getting back with my ex?
Q. Its been a year. After my really bad rebuking mail, we stopped talking; but she still called back once or twice . And then the last one was an apologizing mail a few days back. We were in contact for around six months, but I stopped talking ...
A. 29 February 2012: I'd say she's unlikely to be interested in dating you again, she demonstrated this by not telling you about her new man. She has relegated you to a distant friend status by doing so. Rather than be angry with her for not reciprocating your feelings, ... (read in full...)
Hysterctomy blues...anyone suffering with them?
Q. HI Lady's.. Well I have been on this site for some time now, and recently had a TVH (Total virginal Hysterectomy) Im not getting hardly any hot flashes, but my appetite has got huge, my moods very erratic, and im aching like im about 80...
A. 29 February 2012: Yes, good luck on Thursday! Remember that you are your own best health advocate. Be persistent if you need to be. You can be firm and polite but don't give up if you are suffering needlessly!
... (read in full...)
I am gutted that he's only looking forward to seeing me because he thought he was going to get his leg over!
Q. hello all, well i'm 36 and after a crappy divorce am back with my parents, had one disappointing boyfriend since but have been single for a good while and would like to meet someone now.. well i have and we went for a drink last night, hes 31 and a ...
A. 29 February 2012: Nicely done. Sorry to hear he's not much of a cook, ah well, at least you've got things back on the right track. Have a nice date! Don't get too tipsy next time. ;) And have a lovely time!... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 29 February 2012: Love isn't about inflicting guilt or accusations or manipulation. You are not with a loving man.
A few questions: have you told your family about the situation? Your friends? You need emotional and practical support from them now. Get it.
Does ... (read in full...)
So what is a good way to meet someone as it seems like I have tried everything?
Q. So I have been single for years and really need to meet someone soon, I feel overwhelmed with loneliness. I should have no problems meeting someone because I'm attractive, educated, intelligent, and I have my crap together. My problem seems to be ...
A. 28 February 2012: Once you finish school, start working, start saving, then you can change your circumstances.
Tell your friends that you are writing a blog on relationships and want to interview them. Assure them you will keep their privacy. Then ask how they met ... (read in full...)
I am gutted that he's only looking forward to seeing me because he thought he was going to get his leg over!
Q. hello all, well i'm 36 and after a crappy divorce am back with my parents, had one disappointing boyfriend since but have been single for a good while and would like to meet someone now.. well i have and we went for a drink last night, hes 31 and a ...
A. 28 February 2012: And you will have to apologize for sending out the wrong signals by getting tipsy and getting gropey. Sorry.... (read in full...)
I am gutted that he's only looking forward to seeing me because he thought he was going to get his leg over!
Q. hello all, well i'm 36 and after a crappy divorce am back with my parents, had one disappointing boyfriend since but have been single for a good while and would like to meet someone now.. well i have and we went for a drink last night, hes 31 and a ...
A. 28 February 2012: Whoa, there boyo, he's a bit cheeky to expect that! I'd take a BIG step back and maybe change up his expectations. Don't feel so down on yourself, you were caught up in the moment. Nows the time to set him straight, and pay attention, this man ... (read in full...)
Should I try getting back with my ex?
Q. Its been a year. After my really bad rebuking mail, we stopped talking; but she still called back once or twice . And then the last one was an apologizing mail a few days back. We were in contact for around six months, but I stopped talking ...
A. 28 February 2012: You will never know the answer to this question if you don't ask her.
One question for you, why did you send her a really bad rebuking message? Are you going to do it again? It must have been very awful for the relationship to end like that.
Can y... (read in full...)
So what is a good way to meet someone as it seems like I have tried everything?
Q. So I have been single for years and really need to meet someone soon, I feel overwhelmed with loneliness. I should have no problems meeting someone because I'm attractive, educated, intelligent, and I have my crap together. My problem seems to be ...
A. 28 February 2012: If you are living in a small town with no opportunities for dating, then you will have to change your circumstances, won't you? As you so thoroughly parsed it out, there is zero chance of meeting someone. So the only logical conclusion is that you ... (read in full...)
Online dating dilemma!
Q. I have recently met a man online. Initially we emailed each other for about three weeks and each time he responded timely and clearly put a lot of effort in his responses. After nearly three weeks of it, I casually suggested that maybe we could ...
A. 28 February 2012: You've been very patient and have not come on too strong. I'd say your instinct is correct, he is not coming on strong enough and is not pursuing you. The question is, why?
Two things leap to mind, one is that he has been dating other women and perh... (read in full...)
Should I dump this guy and get on with my life?
Q. Ive being in a relationship for the last 15 month. He is 7 years older than me not that you would think it as he quite immature for his age. He told me he has being in a relationship and lived with someone and that he got hurt. I have no evidence...
A. 28 February 2012: Be confident and rise up and float away from this peculiar man. You've never met his family? He lives with his grandmother?
My guess is that he's married and likes chatting to younger women. You are easy to get back, all it takes is some sweet talk... (read in full...)
Does my former teacher still like me?
Q. Ok so I published a question like this a whole back when I was at college about my teacher.Im 19 and very mature for my age seeing things in a very adult way. The last question I posted was about my teacher and the response I got was that this tea...
A. 28 February 2012: It sounds like he was making a big deal about seeing you and commenting on your beauty. Not very professional, really, is it?
But to answer your question, he has certainly made it clear you are attractive. Does it mean anything else? Who knows? He's... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend see me as a respectable girl after I give blowjobs?
Q. one time, a close friend of mine and i were discussing sex. i asked him if he was interested in a blowjob and he said if it were coming from a girl he didn't respect, then yes, he would want a bj but if it was from someone he cared about, then ...
A. 28 February 2012: Sounds like your 'close friend' isn't referring to oral sex in the context of a loving committed relationship. I wouldn't take his words to heart, he sounds a bit, um, immature.
Does your boyfriend return the favor and give you oral sex? That woul... (read in full...)
My wife the party girl, how do I get her attention?
Q. I have an issue that is somewhat hard to articulate. My wife is a very outgoing person, who has the ability to connect with people very quickly. She is excited to joke around with other people, and they with her: so much so that in social settings ...
A. 28 February 2012: "Babe, I'm so happy to see you vivacious and enjoying yourself at these parties but I feel as though I am invisible to you. It would help me out if you could just 'check in' with me every half an hour or so to make me feel like I'm important to ... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 28 February 2012: Oh my dear, if you manage to break free from him and get some distance (and maybe some good counseling) of time and perspective on this, you'll be so thankful you didn't wreck your life with a controlling guy who simply doesn't have the ... (read in full...)
What sort of Mom says these things to her own daughter! Advice, please!
Q. So I'm a 21 year old woman who still lives with her parents. I've always had horrible self-esteem. I very rarely see myself as beautiful, and it feels like calling myself pretty is pushing it a little. I always get compliments on my hair, my own ...
A. 25 February 2012: One more thing. Exercise makes you feel better because it releases endorphins. I actually crave it now, moving the muscles feels great and I feel strong and powerful and healthy. I'm in better shape than I was 10 years ago, and in fact, I have ... (read in full...)
What sort of Mom says these things to her own daughter! Advice, please!
Q. So I'm a 21 year old woman who still lives with her parents. I've always had horrible self-esteem. I very rarely see myself as beautiful, and it feels like calling myself pretty is pushing it a little. I always get compliments on my hair, my own ...
A. 25 February 2012: I get where you are coming from. I had the same problem, only I was in my 40s, and I didn't have low self-esteem, I was clinically depressed.
Two things here, one is what you are doing to help yourself, do for yourself, because it's a good thin... (read in full...)
Torn between boyfriend and home
Q. I really dont know what to do!!! I started uni in London 3 years ago and met a lovely boy who is now my boyfriend. We've been together for nearly 3 years and we live in a flat together in London that we rent from my grandmother. London has bee...
A. 25 February 2012: Why aren't you happy in London? Could you give it a year and then decide?... (read in full...)
Two housemates are interested in me- I have no interested in either perhaps because of my condition...What can I do?
Q. Hi, I have a couple of problems I would like some help with. The first is this: I'm currently group house sharing with 4 people, two girls/two guys. My problem is that I think one of my housemates, an older man (he's 40, I'm 23) likes me. I'm no...
A. 25 February 2012: Tell the second guy, thanks but no thanks, you appreciate the offer but aren't interested. If listening to him moan about his loveless life bothers you, excuse yourself when he starts to complain. Eventually, he'll figure out that you vanish when he ... (read in full...)
I had an abortion and am still grieving-but my boyfriend seems not to care, what should I do?
Q. I need some help to stop feeling angry with my bf about our abortion. I know readers might judge me for having an abortion, that's ok, I judge myself, I know I did the wrong thing, I feel guilty every day and regret my decision greatly. I'm trying ...
A. 25 February 2012: He's not the link to the lost baby any more. He chose not to be. YOU are the link.
Forgive yourself. You can work on forgiving him over time, from a distance. Because he's not the man for you if he won't participate in your recovery. THAT'S a betr... (read in full...)
There is a sex tape of me out there and not just any sex tape a freaking party, public tape!!
Q. A few weeks ago I was at a party and drank alittle to much. There was this girl who was also a little drunk and shamelessly flirting with me and we ended up in one of the bedrooms and she was giving me head when some guy walked in. He laughed called ...
A. 24 February 2012: Your crush isn't going to date you, not because you made a sex tape, but because of the way you treated the girl you had sex with. You bumped into her and you turned and walked away? You snubbed her? Not the sign of a nice guy.
The other reason she ... (read in full...)
Hysterctomy blues...anyone suffering with them?
Q. HI Lady's.. Well I have been on this site for some time now, and recently had a TVH (Total virginal Hysterectomy) Im not getting hardly any hot flashes, but my appetite has got huge, my moods very erratic, and im aching like im about 80...
A. 24 February 2012: I'm happy I was able to help! You are most definitely not alone. Be well! :D... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 24 February 2012: "He seems pretty set on it, and unwilling to wait any longer than that, as he's getting older." Well, he decided to date a much younger woman, if he was so hell-bent on children, he should have found someone closer in age to him and who was further ... (read in full...)
Hysterctomy blues...anyone suffering with them?
Q. HI Lady's.. Well I have been on this site for some time now, and recently had a TVH (Total virginal Hysterectomy) Im not getting hardly any hot flashes, but my appetite has got huge, my moods very erratic, and im aching like im about 80...
A. 24 February 2012: I have a good board for you to visit. Additionally, I would suggest you discuss your symptoms with your physicians, as being put into instant menopause is different than going through the process more naturally. It's a different experience, from ... (read in full...)
16 year old girl sent pornographic video of herself to my boyfriend?
Q. So... I need some advice. My boyfriend is very nice looking and it isn't just me that thinks it, other girls also think the same. He talks to a lot of girls who he claims are just his friends he goes about talking to them through phone calls, text ...
A. 24 February 2012: This guy sounds like he could talk a dog off a meat truck. I'd let this particular salesman go peddle his wares elsewhere. Sixteen year old girls do not need self-esteem building by encouraging them to send masturbating videos. You've got a player ... (read in full...)
He put pictures up on Facebook of his ex wives, am I right to be upset by this or am I over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend has recently put a couple of photos of his ex wives on his phone, and his FB timeline. I was a bit shocked when I saw them. His explanation was that they were a part of his past and he wanted them there. I found this odd, I too have ex ...
A. 24 February 2012: I think this could be a good jumping off point for you to work on how you communicate with him. Part of the issue of your hurt feelings is that you sat on them for 3 weeks and allowed them to fester. This may all have been a big nothing had you ... (read in full...)
Are there any health risks in swallowing cum?
Q. dear cupid, are there any health risks involved with swallowing cum? please don't mention std's, because i already know that they're a risk factor, buuut i also know for a fact that the guys i've given oral sex to don't have anything. soo, o...
A. 24 February 2012: More reading, as you seem to be concerned about your health risks: http://children.webmd.com/vaccines/news/20110623/can-hpv-vaccine-stop-throat-cancer
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/hpv-genital-warts/default.htm
FYI, on this website ... (read in full...)
Are there any health risks in swallowing cum?
Q. dear cupid, are there any health risks involved with swallowing cum? please don't mention std's, because i already know that they're a risk factor, buuut i also know for a fact that the guys i've given oral sex to don't have anything. soo, o...
A. 24 February 2012: You should be using condoms for oral sex unless you both have been screened for HPV: http://www.star-telegram.com/2012/01/26/3691479/hpv-study-may-show-why-oral-cancer.html#tvg
I could post lots of other articles but the point is that oral sex actu... (read in full...)
I'm engaged, but I no longer feel like I love him.
Q. Help! i'm engaged but i no longer feel like i love him. he was my boyfriend and my best friend. even after he moved away for school, we made it work. he visited me each time he could and those were moments i truly treasured. after i graduated high ...
A. 19 February 2012: Just be honest with him about your feelings. If it's not time for you to get married, don't. Simple. Be honest. It may hurt him but leading him on and pretending everything is perfect won't help him either when that is not the truth.
Then you can ... (read in full...)
Does he sound like a sociopath
Q. He and i were fwb in the past but we're just friends now. I went to see him at his place because he's going away for a month and we wanted to see each other before he left. We've always been pretty flirty around each other but nothing has happened ...
A. 19 February 2012: He's some kind of cheater. Seriously, who would cuddle with a girl and then follow up with comments about how soft her skin is and not be trying something on?
He may be a narcissist, a sociopath seems a bit extreme of a label, but whatever he is, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has history of violence. Am I worrying too much?
Q. Long story short, I found out over the last couple of days that my boyfriend has a really bad temper. I haven't been dating him for long and i've known hes had a bad temper for a while but i'm now gett...
A. 17 February 2012: No, I don't think you are worrying too much. A history of violence like he has indicates he has some issues that he and his family need to cope with. If a guy has been in a number of fights and says that none of them were started by him, I rather ... (read in full...)
Does anyone deserve a second chance?
Q. when someone has cheated, should you give them a second chance?...
A. 17 February 2012: Depends. In some cases, yes. In some cases, no. ... (read in full...)
He wants a threesome! Isn't a twosome enough?
Q. So my boyfriend keeps telling me about a fantasy he has of having a threesome. It'd be something like he would have sex with me and I fool around with the other dude at the same time. But that just seems so odd to me, I wonder why he wants to bring ...
A. 17 February 2012: "Babe, I'm so happy you feel comfortable enough with me to share your fantasy about a threesome. Just so you know, from now until forever, I am NOT interested in ever making this happen in real life. I'm happy to go along with the fantasy and I ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 7 years says if I don't give him a child he will leave me
Q. So, My bf of 7yrs has giving me an ultimatum that if I don't give him a kid he is going to leave me..Mind you he has a daughter who is being raised by her mother and he feels since he has no say he is giving up and wants to have one with me cuz he's ...
A. 17 February 2012: If we read your questions over the years, it is clear that this is not a healthy relationship, and he is an abusive cheater. Really, it would be best for you and your family to get him to leave. Then you can look into why you stuck with him for so ... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay or bisexual?
Q. Ok here goes... I'm 18, and my husband is 19. we've been married for 8 months. we have a daughter, who is 2 years and 2 months and i'm 11 weeks pregnant with our second child. Basically, i know in my heart that my husband is gay. He claim...
A. 17 February 2012: A man having sex with other men on the down low IS cheating on his wife. He may be bi-sexual, fine, but that doesn't mean he gets to sleep with other people and thus expose his wife to STDs, including HIV. Risky behavior leads to virus transfer and ... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can win my parents over to at least meet this guy?
Q. So I have been dating a guy, M, for like a week and a day now. I was supposed to see him on Valentine's Day and hang out at my house so he could get to know my parents better but that never happened. Why? Well I shall get into it. So the day afte...
A. 17 February 2012: So, let's sum up. You have a history of selecting 'dramatic' and 'abusive' boyfriends. You meet M at a mall and then proceed to lie to your parents about where you met him. You try to convince people to lie for you. You drive to help an intoxicated ... (read in full...)
Broken Hearted. How do I get her to love me??? Or how do I move on?
Q. There's this girl I talked to online for a really long time. we spent forever together and i thought things were going fine. we hung out once and it seemed like it went well but she doesn't want me for some reason. she talks to me all the time and...
A. 17 February 2012: Definitely log off the computer for a while. You will experience the loss for a day but with some sleep and some time away from the source of the pain, you will begin to see that what you have built was based on not such a strong foundation, ... (read in full...)
Why is it when you're not looking for someone, you find them?
Q. Why is it when you're not looking for someone, you find them? I had this guy. We have a rich history and have been building up to a relationship for the past 6 months. I love him so much, if not as my bf, as a friend. I think he's the most beautif...
A. 17 February 2012: So your sister moved out over this? And you are carrying on having unprotected sex with a guy you've known essentially for a week. Are you drinking so much that you cannot make good choices?
Get yourself to an AA meeting ASAP. I am not joking. You ... (read in full...)
Our sex life isn't working out very equitably
Q. I know I'm a dick for getting frustrated about this and I know that it's my fault, but I don't know what to do. I consider myself pretty good when it comes to sex. I've only had sex with my girlfriend, but I'm usually able to make her cum lik...
A. 17 February 2012: You can't help how you feel and she can't help how she feels. Sounds like you are both extremely sensitive now about the topic and she's worried it's going to hurt or cause nausea.
She needs to be examined by her gynecologist in order to dete... (read in full...)
Female hygiene question....
Q. hi a question for the ladies on dc. This is a question on female hygiene. How uncomfortable is it for you the day after a night of sex if you dont have time for a shower in the morning. I bring this up as my partner said she didnt want sex after she ...
A. 16 February 2012: If she dislikes having semen dripping out of her vagina during the day, it's not an unreasonable request that you not ejaculate inside her. It's not exactly conducive to feeling professional or good about your hygiene. You can shower the exterior ... (read in full...)
Please tell me this is fixable!
Q. good day, i am seeking advice and possibly comfort that there is a solution to this. I can`t move on, and i dont think i want to move on after the break up. I want to get her back! its been 4 or 5 days since she broke it off with me. i know every...
A. 16 February 2012: It sounds like you submerged your identity into this relationship and let go of the individual 'you.' I think you are experiencing profound grief, the same type of grief that a recently bereaved person would face. Your identity as one-half of a ... (read in full...)
Should I be tested for STIs?
Q. ive just found out that my boyfriend has slept with 3 women behind my back, and now im worried that i could have an STI. what should i do? if i go to the doctor, what will he do?...
A. 16 February 2012: Just go to the doctor and they'll be able to sort this out. If you were exposed to something, it's better to find out now and have it treated!
Who cares what he will do, you aren't still with a guy who cheated on you not once, not twice, but thre... (read in full...)
Broken Hearted. How do I get her to love me??? Or how do I move on?
Q. There's this girl I talked to online for a really long time. we spent forever together and i thought things were going fine. we hung out once and it seemed like it went well but she doesn't want me for some reason. she talks to me all the time and...
A. 16 February 2012: If someone knew the secret to making someone fall in love with a specific person, that person would be a bajillionaire. There is no way to do it. There are ways to turn people off, though. Being clingy, needy, or unrealistic are a few of the ways ... (read in full...)
His texting to me is unpredictable. If he texts me again shall I just ignore him?
Q. I have been texting a guy for several months now. We have met 3 times. Anyway his texts are not consistent. He will text me every few weeks and will only ask to meet when he is out drinking. I text him back the other day, got one text back to which...
A. 16 February 2012: A guy who really wants to see you will make plans and be consistent in his behavior. This guy is just cultivating booty call, I suspect. Especially as he only hits you up when he's been drinking. Maybe he has an alcohol issue and only feels social ... (read in full...)
Her ex-lover sent her a Valentine's Day card. Should I be concerned?
Q. My S.O. and I are monogamous with each other, although she has remained friends (e.g., occasionally chats with) with some of her ex-lovers. I've been accepting of that situation so far... but on Valentine's Day, when we were together, she rece...
A. 16 February 2012: I guess you can't blame her for what HE chooses to do. What you can do is suggest that it was weird of him to send her a Valentine's Day card when he's an EX and see how she responds and go from there. It doesn't sound like she was hiding anything ... (read in full...)
This was a bit vulgar to say to me on Valentines day, should I be offended?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a few months. Everything has been going pretty good for the most part. Then yesterday, he kind of threw me for a loop. He sent me a text that said "Blow jobs are like flowers for guys on Valentine's Day". I was ...
A. 16 February 2012: He posted about you giving him a bj and burping on Facebook? Really? Is he like, 18 years old? No, wait, that's insulting 18 year olds....
His humor, is um, well, um... juvenile to the extreme. And sharing private sex info for all to read? Um..... (read in full...)
This was a bit vulgar to say to me on Valentines day, should I be offended?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a few months. Everything has been going pretty good for the most part. Then yesterday, he kind of threw me for a loop. He sent me a text that said "Blow jobs are like flowers for guys on Valentine's Day". I was ...
A. 16 February 2012: Did he actually send you flowers?... (read in full...)
Our sex life isn't working out very equitably
Q. I know I'm a dick for getting frustrated about this and I know that it's my fault, but I don't know what to do. I consider myself pretty good when it comes to sex. I've only had sex with my girlfriend, but I'm usually able to make her cum lik...
A. 16 February 2012: Sorry, could you please clarify. Were you saying that you were having penis in vagina intercourse for an hour?... (read in full...)
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