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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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More than one way to get up the Duff!!
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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I think I'm in love but he hasn't called me in a week
Q. So here is my problem. I think that I am in love. This makes absolutely no sense. Here is my story... I was in his class, he was my professor, I his student. There was some sexual comments made but never to the extent where someone would report it, ...
A. 18 March 2012: Sorry to hear that it all went pear-shaped for you but I think perhaps you will be a bit wiser from the experience. Best wishes for your new romance.... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 5 February 2012: I've been reading a book called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It contains some pretty interesting ideas on how our minds work against us. Sounds like yours is earning double overtime. You have to get beyond your inner tormenter, and I think ... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 20 January 2012: Are there no professional matchmaker services in the UK? I'm sure you are clever enough to find one, if you put your mind to it. Good luck!... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 19 January 2012: It is easy if you keep trying. Sounds like you gave up a long time ago, because your thoughts keep going back to "I'm a virgin! She won't want to be with a virgin! She's not a virgin! She can't be a virgin! She's going to JUDGE ME!" And then the ... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love but he hasn't called me in a week
Q. So here is my problem. I think that I am in love. This makes absolutely no sense. Here is my story... I was in his class, he was my professor, I his student. There was some sexual comments made but never to the extent where someone would report it, ...
A. 18 January 2012: I know someone who is an assistant professor at a university and who doesn't teach every semester. This person still holds their rules and regulations to be binding, even in the 'off' semester. I think you are spending a lot of time fantasiz... (read in full...)
Should I accept my boyfriend's idea as a one-off or should I tell him it's not a good idea?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been going out now for 4 years and everything is going great. He went to uni last September and I took a while to get used to it but after being apart then spending one month solid together and being apart we have ...
A. 18 January 2012: Don't do anything you really aren't fully comfortable with, especially threesomes, and especially as you have a history of low self-esteem.
Please take care and be sure you aren't with someone who is manipulating you because you are still unce... (read in full...)
He wants to propose in front of everyone!
Q. So me and my boyfriend are 3 and a half years apart. he asked me if he proposed to me what would i say? (he is older) so i said of course i would say yes. and he said he can't wait till he can do it infront of everyone! im really nervous. i dont ...
A. 18 January 2012: I guess maybe we really didn't understand what you were asking? I hope everything works out for you! Best wishes.... (read in full...)
Does he deserve a second chance after he lied about wearing a condom?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. He's nice to me, although he has a bit of a problem telling the truth. He does not like wearing protection as he says he doesn't feel anything and the rubber irritates him. I finally agreed t...
A. 18 January 2012: I might consider warning other women about this guy. He sounds like he's likely to spread STDs and cause unwanted pregnancies. I know that would be hard to do but, um, eek, with a creep like him on the loose?
I hope everything goes well for you.... (read in full...)
Is masturbation worth doing?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I'm still a virgin in every way. Everyone I know masturbates,but for some reason that really freaks me out. The thought of it makes me feel guilty for some reason. How do you even do it? I know that sounds silly, but seriously. ...
A. 18 January 2012: I don't think you're silly. I think you're probably more normal that you realize. Many girls feel like you do. If you don't want to masturbate, don't! You don't have to apologize or explain to anyone.
That being said, I have a link for you to read... (read in full...)
Can all women have squirting orgasms?
Q. I'm in my early 40's and my question is about squirting orgasms, which I have never had. I have had a vaginal orgasm only twice, both on my own. Most of my orgasms are clitoral and extremely satisfying. Do you think it is true that every woman...
A. 18 January 2012: I don't think every woman can have that type of orgasm. If you examine the physiology, basically what has to happen is that the woman has to secrete some fluids from the glands within the urethra--the paraurethral glands. She also has a bladder that ... (read in full...)
Why won't he put me first?
Q. I'm a 25 year old gay male (if you hate me already, please move on and don't leave me mean messages!). I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. He is two years younger than I am. We fell in love at first sight and it was amazing and still is ...
A. 18 January 2012: You put "girlfriend" in quotes in a way that suggests they are playing at being boyfriend/girlfriend. Could it be your longtime boyfriend is bi, and has a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time?
My observation on this is that you two got toge... (read in full...)
How close is too close?
Q. Hi Advice sought on how to handle a prospective 13 year old step daughter. She came to stay with us for the school holidays (nearly 5 weeks). It has been one of the most stressful times for me as she seems to have set up some kind of competit...
A. 18 January 2012: Hey, I'm 50+ and I still hold my dad's hands and stroke his arm and give him big squishy hugs. We've always been a huggy family and will walk arm in arm, hand in hand... no divorce here, but I could imagine at age 13 facing a new stepmother, I might ... (read in full...)
I'm married and now my lover has got married I have lost my trust in her....what should I do?
Q. I am married and I have been in mutual relationship with a co worker for few years now. She recently got married and it was mutual decision that we shall continue working post her marriage and we both wont change our feelings for each other and ...
A. 18 January 2012: If you are sincere in your love for you, and you do not put yourself first, you will allow her to do what is best for her own future. If she develops feelings for her husband, well, isn't that the best for her in the long-run? And as you love her, ... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 17 January 2012: "I've enjoyed chatting with you very much. I'd like to get to know you better. Would you like to go out, for a cup of coffee? May I have your number?"
Can you manage that?... (read in full...)
He wants to propose in front of everyone!
Q. So me and my boyfriend are 3 and a half years apart. he asked me if he proposed to me what would i say? (he is older) so i said of course i would say yes. and he said he can't wait till he can do it infront of everyone! im really nervous. i dont ...
A. 17 January 2012: Are you shy or something? He's already asked you, in front of your parents, so why would it bother you if he asks you again in front of other people?... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love but he hasn't called me in a week
Q. So here is my problem. I think that I am in love. This makes absolutely no sense. Here is my story... I was in his class, he was my professor, I his student. There was some sexual comments made but never to the extent where someone would report it, ...
A. 17 January 2012: Does "he has a set life" mean he's married too?
Look, I'm sorry, but you got sexually involved with a guy who probably does this a lot. He's in a position that places him squarely in contact with loads of co-eds, many of whom are naive and not that... (read in full...)
He wants to propose in front of everyone!
Q. So me and my boyfriend are 3 and a half years apart. he asked me if he proposed to me what would i say? (he is older) so i said of course i would say yes. and he said he can't wait till he can do it infront of everyone! im really nervous. i dont ...
A. 17 January 2012: He's basically already proposed and you've accepted; the rest is just acting the scenes of a play.
Are you sure you are really ready for this as you are here asking this question? If you need to look to others to validate or confirm what your reac... (read in full...)
I've just realized I'm a very self-absorbed person. How do I fix this?
Q. I have realised that I am a very self absorbed person. Everything that happens, the first thing I do is think about how things affect me before I think about how someone else may be feeling or how they will cope. This is a not very nice part of ...
A. 17 January 2012: Sounds like a noble endeavor. Try visiting this website for some ideas on how to help others, which seems to be the goal of your post: http://www.actionforhappiness.org/take-action
If you grew up in a dysfunctional home, the self-preservation mode... (read in full...)
Should I accept my boyfriend's idea as a one-off or should I tell him it's not a good idea?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been going out now for 4 years and everything is going great. He went to uni last September and I took a while to get used to it but after being apart then spending one month solid together and being apart we have ...
A. 17 January 2012: Oh, and perhaps part of your personal growth and development may be that you need to experience life without a boyfriend for a while, to see what flirting and 'feeling sexy' feels like. Just don't go crazy and sleep with every guy who put his hands ... (read in full...)
Should I accept my boyfriend's idea as a one-off or should I tell him it's not a good idea?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been going out now for 4 years and everything is going great. He went to uni last September and I took a while to get used to it but after being apart then spending one month solid together and being apart we have ...
A. 17 January 2012: I think going from zero self-confidence and feeling rubbish about yourself with no experience with the opposite sex, not even flirting, and going to a threesome in the next is a very bad idea.
Get more comfortable in your skin and in yourself befo... (read in full...)
I found out my wife had 2 abortions and never told me. I don't know what to do now
Q. We have been together for 5 years and we got married a few months ago. Recently she got pregnant, however 6-7 weeks later, it turned out to be a miscarriage. During one of the visits at the gyn, the doctor mentioned that this is her third abortion. ...
A. 17 January 2012: Thank you for the followup. Best wishes for starting your new, nonjudgmental, supportive and loving family. I hope everything goes well in the future for you. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
... (read in full...)
Well endowed boyfriend makes sex uncomfortable
Q. My man is larger than average. He likes to go deep but it hurts me way too bad. It feels like hes poking me in my stomach and I feel I have the worst cramps of my life. Do you think that its just because of his size or is there something wrong wi...
A. 17 January 2012: Is this the guy who removed his condom and didn't tell you?
First of all, you should not do anything that causes you such pain. Pain is our body's way of telling us something is wrong. Pain is saying "stop." He is battering your cervix and that... (read in full...)
Does he deserve a second chance after he lied about wearing a condom?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. He's nice to me, although he has a bit of a problem telling the truth. He does not like wearing protection as he says he doesn't feel anything and the rubber irritates him. I finally agreed t...
A. 17 January 2012: Nope! He's done. He put his sexual pleasure ahead of your very valid concerns about pregnancy. I'd be worried about STDs too. Buh-bye, selfish guy. Maybe the next time he won't be so cavalier with another girl's health and future.... (read in full...)
He wanted sex. I had my period. Finally I agreed to do it, as I was horny. But it all ended badly, with him freaking out. Was his reaction excessive disgust?
Q. This may gross some people out with I need some honest opinions... I have a fwb and we have sex on a regular basis. Well the other night he came over and I was on my period (a very light one) so I declined sex and just gave him head. Well the ...
A. 17 January 2012: You'll be hurting his FEELINGS?!?! What the hell did he do to you, nurture the "friendship" and think about your feelings? I think not. I'm with Ciar. Close the door on this ridiculous person. And do work on improving your sense of self-worth. ... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 17 January 2012: "I'm stuck between my morals and my penis." No, actually, you are trapped by your own shyness and social anxiety disorder. Deal with that first. The rest will follow.
Instead of analyzing how to lose your virginity, analyze how to lose the soci... (read in full...)
She is making an effort to commit to me, so why am I still having trust issues?
Q. I am still having MASSIVE trust issues despite things going better than most could expect from a relationship. She has booked a wedding venue....says she has stopped taking the Pill so we can start a family, but I am STILL having trust issues. It...
A. 16 January 2012: So why haven't you made a phone call to find a counselor yet? You're miserable, so get some help handling this. Otherwise, you will be stuck in this rut forever. Not a nice way to live, I think, wouldn't it take less energy to find help than to ... (read in full...)
Why is it that Men think they know Everything and have the need to be Right All the Time?
Q. Why is it that Men think they know Everything? and have the need to be Right All the Time? ...
A. 16 January 2012: Um. All men don't.
Perhaps a certain man does and this is what is causing you some sort of problem?
Read my other answer on your other question.
Put together your list of grievances and issues with this one man and perhaps you'll get some good ad... (read in full...)
Fair enough she needs time to "heal" from learning I'm gay, but how long does it take?
Q. Its been about 2 and a half years since my mum has asked me if I was gay. She still don't treat me the same as she did before which doesn't help. Seriously how long does she need! She has always had gay friends she's loved her brother who is g...
A. 16 January 2012: Why did she have to ask you? Didn't you tell her?... (read in full...)
I found dirty knickers in my husband's car
Q. I found dirty underwear in my husband car and they aren't mine I don't known what to do? Dirty females underwears in my husband car? Im confuse I don't know what to do....
A. 16 January 2012: Maybe they're HIS underwear? As in, he's a cross-dresser?
Anyway, it sounds like neither of you are listening to one another, so get a third party, like a marriage counselor, involved to help. That's the only way forward I see here.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Why don't men read maps?
Q. Why is it that when your in a car and your man is Driving and you both are in an unfamilliar town, he wont Admit that he is Lost. My Question is why wont men ask for Directions? ...
A. 16 January 2012: It sounds like you have an opinion on this already. So what is it and why are you asking this old, tired question?
There have been some similar posts recently from a woman who sounds very angry and upset with "men." I get the sense that there's one ... (read in full...)
Struggling to decode guys.
Q. Hi! I was recently talking to a group of my friends (mixed group-guys and gals) and I dropped into conversation that I had a boyfriend-just for the record I don't- but I just wanted to see their reaction but it wasn't what I expected... All m...
A. 15 January 2012: Good luck with your friends! One good rule of thumb is to not set little social traps for them, especially guys. Guys are not encouraged to be sensitive, touchy-feely types. They generally are honest if they are good guys, and will tell you their ... (read in full...)
How do you find out if a man is gay?
Q. Let's say you like a guy at work and have doubts whether he is gay or straight. Is it a good idea to ask another co-worker (declared gay) about the first one? Can it be that the second guy goes and tells the guy I like about my suspicion? What would ...
A. 14 January 2012: Is there some sort of issue that requires you to know the sexual orientation of a co-worker? Isn't that kind of private information? And wouldn't your trying to figure it out draw attention to this guy--who may or may not be gay, but it's none of ... (read in full...)
FWB accuses me of cheating, how can we be a proper couple?
Q. Hi all I have a problem and I don't know what to do I am in a fwb with a man for the past 11 months we started sleeping together and naturally after a few months my feelings grew stronger for him I don't love him but I really like him I talked to ...
A. 14 January 2012: After a year of having sex with a guy, you have tacit permission to have 'the talk.' You know, the 'where is this thing going' talk. If you're too afraid to have the talk for some reason, well, then there is something either going on in your head or ... (read in full...)
FWB accuses me of cheating, how can we be a proper couple?
Q. Hi all I have a problem and I don't know what to do I am in a fwb with a man for the past 11 months we started sleeping together and naturally after a few months my feelings grew stronger for him I don't love him but I really like him I talked to ...
A. 14 January 2012: He wants a FWB but expects boyfriend/girlfriend type of fidelity from you? He's fooling himself and you.
If you want to be a proper couple, and you've asked for that and he's said 'no,' um, time to move on. Why take scraps when you KNOW what you ... (read in full...)
Struggling to decode guys.
Q. Hi! I was recently talking to a group of my friends (mixed group-guys and gals) and I dropped into conversation that I had a boyfriend-just for the record I don't- but I just wanted to see their reaction but it wasn't what I expected... All m...
A. 14 January 2012: I guess what I am trying to say is that guys don't really have a subtext. "Wow, that dress makes you look great!" means "That dress makes you look great!"
When a girl asks a guy, "what are you thinking about?" and he answers, "nothing," I have it o... (read in full...)
Struggling to decode guys.
Q. Hi! I was recently talking to a group of my friends (mixed group-guys and gals) and I dropped into conversation that I had a boyfriend-just for the record I don't- but I just wanted to see their reaction but it wasn't what I expected... All m...
A. 14 January 2012: Guys aren't wired to be all supportive and gushy when one of their friends announces he's got a girlfriend, especially at your age. They will tend to find a way to mock him and pick at him with good-natured humor.
My guess is that the guys said what... (read in full...)
We argue, don't talk, no sex, no date nights, no vacations. I'm fed up, what do I do?
Q. I'm 31 and my boyfreind is 46, we argue, don't talk for a wek at a time, no sex, he don't take me out movie, dinner, shopping nothing, no vactions together, I'm getting really fed up this being going on for years what should I do?...
A. 14 January 2012: Ask him to go to couples counseling or break up with him seem to be the options that will change things. Why have you put up with this for years?... (read in full...)
Is he being insulting to this woman or could he be into me?
Q. So I had a week of holiday and yesterday (during holiday), as I stayed in the city, I went to work where we had a professional training for 2 hours. So I got to the cafeteria where I met most of the colleagues and it happened to show up a fellow ...
A. 13 January 2012: I read your other question and this one. I don't see that he's into you, honestly. You did say in his other question that you've never heard him being rude to anyone. Would you be happy if someone suggested you grow a mustache? Is that a polite and ... (read in full...)
He distances himself from new friends, but I'd like to go for coffee so he can give me tips for my 1st audition. How do I go about this?
Q. I'm new to dearcupid (friend recommended it) so I'm not really sure how this works, but ok: There's a guy I know from a drama club I go to every week and it started up in September. He's auditioned for shows before and been in some, so I was hopi...
A. 13 January 2012: Oh, in that case, let it drop. Not everyone is cut out to be a mentor. If he's got a massive ego and is distancing himself? I doubt he'd give you any decent advice anyway.
Break a leg!... (read in full...)
She is making an effort to commit to me, so why am I still having trust issues?
Q. I am still having MASSIVE trust issues despite things going better than most could expect from a relationship. She has booked a wedding venue....says she has stopped taking the Pill so we can start a family, but I am STILL having trust issues. It...
A. 13 January 2012: I think some pre-marital counseling is in order. Why not suggest this before you tie the knot or make a baby?... (read in full...)
Telling someone you like them....
Q. how do you tell someone you like them without it becoming awkward ? ...
A. 13 January 2012: "You are hilarious! I like that!"
"You are so talented! I like that!"
"I think you are great."
You don't have to say the exact words, "I like you."
You can try teasing them gently, with a smile, "I might consider dating you if it was down to y... (read in full...)
I'm with a great guy, except he may be facing 4 years in prison. Should I wait?
Q. Well I been dating this guy for a little over a year now. And he is a great guy. Hes the best thing thats happend to me. I love being with him and I catch myself smiling for no reason sometimes:) But he has been in trouble wit the cops before, ...
A. 13 January 2012: One more thought on this. The guy who goes off to prison will come back a much different person. He'll have experienced life behind bars and I don't believe that is a pleasant thing. I understand it can harden some into lifetime criminals.
Do you ... (read in full...)
He distances himself from new friends, but I'd like to go for coffee so he can give me tips for my 1st audition. How do I go about this?
Q. I'm new to dearcupid (friend recommended it) so I'm not really sure how this works, but ok: There's a guy I know from a drama club I go to every week and it started up in September. He's auditioned for shows before and been in some, so I was hopi...
A. 13 January 2012: I'd ask the drama club to add an 'auditions 101' topic to the meeting schedule; ask the other members who have had auditions for their tips; and definitely get and read the book that CindyCares suggested.
There are two things here: one is that you ... (read in full...)
Should I try online dating when I still have feelings for my ex?
Q. I came out of a relationship about 2 months ago. I still have feelings for my ex but do want to move on. A lot of my friends have suggested internet dating. It sounds alright and i was maybe thinking of trying it but i do still have some feelings ...
A. 13 January 2012: How about starting to date again when YOU are ready, not when your friends dictate? Everyone has their own schedule and you are basically going through a mourning period, let that happen and you'll know when you're ready.
I would suggest you keep... (read in full...)
He has cheated before and now it seems he is doing the same again, what should I do?
Q. Well compliments of the new year to every one, my problem is i have been dating a guy for four months and things has been goin pretty well until he started breaking off the communication between us recently.. During the time we were on good terms he ...
A. 13 January 2012: At four months into a new relationship, he cuts contact? Not a good sign, whether or not he's cheating.
I think it's probably best just to let this one go, based on his past history of cheating AND going "no contact." Make the break permanent and ... (read in full...)
How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"?
Q. How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"? If a woman showed an interest in me, how can I say in a nice way (if I'm not interested) that she is not my type? If a woman told me I was not "her type", I ...
A. 13 January 2012: I think the answer to your question is right there in your post. How would YOU like to be told that you are not "her type"?
"Bruce, you are a nice man, alas, the chemistry just isn't there for us to date."
"How sweet of you to ask me out, I just d... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cries when we have sex! What is wrong and how do I help her?
Q. seriously i dont get what is wrong with my girlfriend when we first had sex i realised she was crying slowly as we were at it...since then anytime i sleep with her in the same bed she gets nightmares and also cries like she does when we are having ...
A. 13 January 2012: Your girlfriend has something that causes her to be sorrowful and upset when you are physically intimate, either in bed together or having sex. This sounds like she's experienced some sort of sexual trauma, an assault, a rape or abuse.
The best thin... (read in full...)
My FWB wants to have a baby with me!!
Q. ok so im 18 and ive been a friends with benifit with this guy but it has grown into where neither of us are with anybody else but he wont say that we are in a relationship... so now we are having trouble seeing each other because his family doesnt ...
A. 13 January 2012: Probably one of the worst reasons to have a baby is to get back at your parents. How childish and juvenile his reasoning is! It's also selfish and inconsiderate.
My advice is to stop the FWB, if you want more, ask for more and don't settle for less... (read in full...)
I'm with a great guy, except he may be facing 4 years in prison. Should I wait?
Q. Well I been dating this guy for a little over a year now. And he is a great guy. Hes the best thing thats happend to me. I love being with him and I catch myself smiling for no reason sometimes:) But he has been in trouble wit the cops before, ...
A. 12 January 2012: At 17, I'd suggest you try to move on. If he's making choices that lead him to being in prison for 4 years, he's likely to have a very drama-filled and unhealthy life. Probably not the best choice for a good long-term relationship. You can always ... (read in full...)
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