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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Our sex life isn't working out very equitably
Q. I know I'm a dick for getting frustrated about this and I know that it's my fault, but I don't know what to do. I consider myself pretty good when it comes to sex. I've only had sex with my girlfriend, but I'm usually able to make her cum lik...
A. 17 February 2012: You can't help how you feel and she can't help how she feels. Sounds like you are both extremely sensitive now about the topic and she's worried it's going to hurt or cause nausea.
She needs to be examined by her gynecologist in order to dete... (read in full...)
This was a bit vulgar to say to me on Valentines day, should I be offended?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a few months. Everything has been going pretty good for the most part. Then yesterday, he kind of threw me for a loop. He sent me a text that said "Blow jobs are like flowers for guys on Valentine's Day". I was ...
A. 16 February 2012: He posted about you giving him a bj and burping on Facebook? Really? Is he like, 18 years old? No, wait, that's insulting 18 year olds....
His humor, is um, well, um... juvenile to the extreme. And sharing private sex info for all to read? Um..... (read in full...)
One For Love & One For Money....
Q. Okay......In a pickle. I have been dating a guy for 8 months and he's great...but...we have very different approaches to life. He is just getting back on his feet and really can't afford much of anything! I have financially been carrying our ...
A. 16 February 2012: Interesting question. You might benefit from reading this question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-does-it-mean-to-use-someone.html
Let's parse this out. You are angry at your boyfriend for not being financially able to 'help' you. You are ... (read in full...)
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 16 February 2012: YOU decide where you go from here, and that to me seems to be right out the door and on to a new chapter in your life. You've put yourself on the shelf for a guy who can never be what you want in a partner. You are suffering because you choose to ... (read in full...)
He pushed me down. Its just not like him.
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together about a year and a half. We've known each other for nearly 7 years...it just took a while to make it official. Once official, things went fast. Within 2 months we were (practically) living together...within 6 ...
A. 16 February 2012: You don't need dating advice. You need some counseling and therapy to work on your 'anger management' issues. The reason people are telling you to get help is because you don't seem to see that this is not a healthy relationship you are in. The ... (read in full...)
If I ejaculate after her menstrual cycle, can she get pregnant?
Q. if i ejaculate having unprotected sex after her menstrual cycle, will she get pregnant? ...
A. 16 February 2012: Will she? Maybe. Could she? Possibly. Great video on this here:
http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
Are you trying to get her pregnant? Ejaculate without protection.
If you are tryi... (read in full...)
What does it mean to "use" someone?
Q. I recently recalled an argument I had with a woman some time ago. She slept with men for money. She tried to keep it secret, but once I found out, I was very troubled by it. One reason was that she did not really need the money--it was not like she ...
A. 16 February 2012: OP, I didn't judge you. I simply took your filter as presented by your question and replayed what she might be thinking through that filter.
I actually originally was going to post that a friend of mine surprised me by getting involved with a marr... (read in full...)
This was a bit vulgar to say to me on Valentines day, should I be offended?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a few months. Everything has been going pretty good for the most part. Then yesterday, he kind of threw me for a loop. He sent me a text that said "Blow jobs are like flowers for guys on Valentine's Day". I was ...
A. 16 February 2012: Did he actually send you flowers?... (read in full...)
What does it mean to "use" someone?
Q. I recently recalled an argument I had with a woman some time ago. She slept with men for money. She tried to keep it secret, but once I found out, I was very troubled by it. One reason was that she did not really need the money--it was not like she ...
A. 16 February 2012: I recently recalled an argument I had with a man some time ago. I told him that I slept with men for money. It wasn't really any of his business but he decided he deserved to know and to judge me on it. He seemed to be very upset by it for some ... (read in full...)
Our sex life isn't working out very equitably
Q. I know I'm a dick for getting frustrated about this and I know that it's my fault, but I don't know what to do. I consider myself pretty good when it comes to sex. I've only had sex with my girlfriend, but I'm usually able to make her cum lik...
A. 16 February 2012: Sorry, could you please clarify. Were you saying that you were having penis in vagina intercourse for an hour?... (read in full...)
The designated unattractive fat friend?
Q. I have a attractive female friend. She surrounds her self with less attractive female friends. My friend says that attractive girls with "fat ugly friends" have no personality!!!!! it is true, that she has little to no personality!! Is this a fluke ...
A. 14 February 2012: Everyone has different filters as to how they happen to choose their friends. Some pick people based on shared interests. Some hang out with people because they like the way the people make them feel. Some spend time with people who happen to live ... (read in full...)
A German in the middle
Q. Hi and help I need your advice please. My name is Mr Birmingham, and I met Mr Poole on net 16 months ago and I have always been trouble because Mr Poole came out to his wife and accepted him for gay a couple of years before she died, 22 months ...
A. 14 February 2012: Mr. Poole sounds as though he's very familiar with hiding things; first from his wife, now from you. I think Mr. Germany isn't the problem. He's just a symptom of a chronic condition with which Mr. Poole is afflicted, i.e. lying, cheating and ... (read in full...)
I feel it's too late for him, but I don't want to hurt him either
Q. Okay, hi everyone! :)...... Hope you can all give me some good advice, as I'm in a very confusing situation atm. I'v been with my boyfriend 3 years. We've had lots of ups and downs. Mainly downs. He can be very difficult. Jealous and controlling....
A. 14 February 2012: Be brave and follow what your heart knows; this is not a healthy relationship. He is not well, he needs to figure out his own insecurities and jealousies himself. You are not going to be able to fix those for him. He has to deal with them himself.
I... (read in full...)
Girlfriend told me I act weird when I receive blow jobs
Q. My girlfriend of 6 months is 12 years younger than I am, but very much more sexually experienced than I me. I got married young and I have only been with two women in my life while she is very adventurous and loves sex. She is also blessed with bei...
A. 14 February 2012: "You know, when you compare me with other men you've been to bed with, it makes me feel weird. I find it a lot tacky and frankly a bit rude. While I love getting blow jobs from you and feel great when you do this, this type of remark from you is ... (read in full...)
B/f left me on a dark street by myself and he knows how terrified I am of this kind of situation!
Q. Just a quick question! What would you do if your boyriend left you in the dark on the street by your self? Ill give you a bit more detail, i', having doubts if my boyfriend acctually does love me, he says he does so much and i acctually started to ...
A. 11 February 2012: As I said, he's a loser. The next time he runs away, let him go, wave bye-bye and don't bother speaking to him again. You deserve better, you really do!... (read in full...)
Asked him out over email but heard nothing back...is he laughing at me?
Q. I asked a man out...which I don't often do..by email. And I've heard nothing back. I'm not wondering about rejection but more That is he somewhere laughing at me? Guys would you be thinking "this girl is a loser?". Backstory... We are in t...
A. 8 February 2012: Pat yourself on the back for being brave enough to ask him out and let the rest go. He didn't respond, who knows why, but it doesn't mean that you aren't dateable! It just means he's rather rude.
Had you spent a lot of time together in person?... (read in full...)
How can I tell if this online guy is for real or not?
Q. Ok so I met this guy in a chat room he is 21 and I'm 16 I live in Ohio and he lives in NY. We really hit it off but I lied to him about having sex I told him Im a virgin today and he was like what have I not been honest with u and I was like I was ...
A. 8 February 2012: Ask him to talk to your parents. That will tell you if he's for real or not.
My bet is he's about 43 years old, overweight, smelly and hairy. He probably still is in the chat rooms looking for the next teenage girl he can find to chat dirty with... (read in full...)
B/f left me on a dark street by myself and he knows how terrified I am of this kind of situation!
Q. Just a quick question! What would you do if your boyriend left you in the dark on the street by your self? Ill give you a bit more detail, i', having doubts if my boyfriend acctually does love me, he says he does so much and i acctually started to ...
A. 7 February 2012: I've read your other posts on this particular guy. Dump! He's a loser, sorry.... (read in full...)
B/f left me on a dark street by myself and he knows how terrified I am of this kind of situation!
Q. Just a quick question! What would you do if your boyriend left you in the dark on the street by your self? Ill give you a bit more detail, i', having doubts if my boyfriend acctually does love me, he says he does so much and i acctually started to ...
A. 7 February 2012: He may love you but he sounds like he's not really very good for you. I think if his idea of making a joke is to make you feel alone, abandoned and scared then he has a sick sense of humor. It doesn't sound like a healthy choice for you.
I'd let ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't tell everyone we are dating and has some flirtations with male friends.
Q. My girlfriend stays out regularly and sometimes comes back as late as 4am. Sometimes she goes to see a friend who has a flat a few miles away. I work full time so I generally feel tired as I don't sleep so well when I don't know where she is or ...
A. 7 February 2012: You seem to be examining the trees when you should be looking at the forest. The constellation of the relationship symptoms you describe suggest she doesn't actually think of you as her boyfriend. You might, but she doesn't. I think the overall ... (read in full...)
Would I be considered a ladies man?
Q. Do I sound like a ladies man to you at all? I'm 18, a senior in high school. I know perfectly how to treat a woman, if she was my girlfriend, would treat her like a queen, or like the best the women in the world. I never had a girlfriend before, but ...
A. 6 February 2012: How do you define the term "ladies man"?
A "ladies man" to me means a guy who dates many women and won't be exclusive with any of them.... (read in full...)
If a married man and a woman have an affair, can the woman be blamed as well?
Q. If a woman and a married man have an affair, is it the woman's fault as well? Obviously, it is the man's fault, but is the woman to blame as well as a home-wrecker? I have heard the defense of the woman saying "It was his choice to go after m...
A. 6 February 2012: Did the man pretend to be single or did she know he was married?... (read in full...)
Help!!! How do I let him down gently without hurting him?
Q. Hey guys, short story this really sweet and caring guy and I met a while ago, we started talking, flirting, texting, hanging out etc, and now his feelings have grown stronger for me, while mine have done the opposite. I have realised that my...
A. 5 February 2012: "You're a great guy and I wish I could tell you something different, but this just isn't going to work out for me. I just don't feel what I should be feeling for a relationship to work. I'm sorry, I don't like doing this and it makes me feel sad but ... (read in full...)
I want to better this world, not date. what's the best way to react to prying personal questions on dating?
Q. Okay so here it goes, ever since I was very young I always knew what I wanted in life and that desire was to better this world in some way before I died. At a young age I could comprehend what death was and that eventually every living thing has to ...
A. 5 February 2012: Interesting follow up.... so maybe the truth is the way to go.
"I'm not interested in dating anyone at this point in time. Thank you for asking. Now let's talk about something else!"
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Scared of having sex as I'm not sure what to do... Help!
Q. hi everyone, I really need some advice. The thing is I've been dating this guy for about eight months now and he wants to have sex and I just keep telling him that I'm not ready but the truth is that I'm really scared of sex and I don't know what ...
A. 5 February 2012: What do you do? You stay honest and stick to your boundaries. "I'm not ready. I am not going to have sex with you." If he keeps asking then he's not really a good match as a boyfriend, which is too bad, but that happens sometimes. Don' worry, your ... (read in full...)
I want to better this world, not date. what's the best way to react to prying personal questions on dating?
Q. Okay so here it goes, ever since I was very young I always knew what I wanted in life and that desire was to better this world in some way before I died. At a young age I could comprehend what death was and that eventually every living thing has to ...
A. 5 February 2012: "Dating? Oh, I'm sure it'll happen when the time is right. Right now, though, I have so much going on, have I told you about my current research/study/enthusiasm? Let me share with you some of my latest news!"
Redirect the questioner if it is caus... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 5 February 2012: I've been reading a book called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It contains some pretty interesting ideas on how our minds work against us. Sounds like yours is earning double overtime. You have to get beyond your inner tormenter, and I think ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is going through chemo, and suddenly we're more like just friends!
Q. Ok .. complicated, but serious question. Just 5 months into a new relationship (which was going very, very well) my girlfriend was diagnosed with breast cancer. Through surgery .. then 4 months of chemo, she is now cancer free .. yet doing 6 weeks ...
A. 5 February 2012: "how long do I wait for this to maybe come back to a full relationship?" As long as you can stand it. If you are reaching the end of your rope on this, acknowledge these feelings. If it has become too difficult for you, then admit it out loud to ... (read in full...)
I want to better this world, not date. what's the best way to react to prying personal questions on dating?
Q. Okay so here it goes, ever since I was very young I always knew what I wanted in life and that desire was to better this world in some way before I died. At a young age I could comprehend what death was and that eventually every living thing has to ...
A. 5 February 2012: "I find it annoying to answer personal questions like that!"
"I'm happy and will let you know when that changes!"
"I know people are worried that I won't ever find 'the one.' I'm not worried in the slightest. I'm right where I want to be with the... (read in full...)
Why am I always the friend... with benefits? I want marriage, kids, to start a new family!
Q. met him on vacation. a year and a half ago. he lives in the united states and i live in canada. immediately we had passion, fire and the relationship was heated. i didnt want to think so much about it, or even care to see him again. but we did. ...
A. 2 February 2012: So we have a guy with a criminal record AND a girlfriend, who says that you are average and keeps his focus on this girlfriend?
Now he's conveniently left her when you were about to give up on him?
It's easy to have quick and intense passion ... (read in full...)
Should I learn to be faithful or move on?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for a whole year. I cheated on him twice. He heard from people but I always denied and he believes me. Im a christian and my boyfriend is muslim, my parents keep trying to tell me to leave him because there will be ...
A. 2 February 2012: I don't think anyone has to learn to be faithful. They simply have to WANT to be faithful. Honestly, it's not that difficult.
If you are having this much mental struggle, the relationship isn't working. Be honest, break it off, and move on.
Then ... (read in full...)
My mom won't let me date a guy who was pressured into being mean to me!
Q. hey, i like this guy in the class below me. i told my mum about him, and she really doesn't like him. she said to me that she refuses me to go out with him. she says that he will treat me bad (because my ex treated me bad). me and him had ...
A. 2 February 2012: I think if he wants to date you, he needs to talk to your Mom. It's a bit scary but the only way for her to feel comfortable is for him to explain himself a bit.
I don't blame her for being worried about him. It's her job to guard your well... (read in full...)
Is my wife bi-curious?
Q. Thinking My Wife is Bi Curious?? Here's my story, and I'm hoping you guys/gals can give me some insight, and opinions. My wife and I have been together for 9 years, our sex life is pretty good and has actually improved the past couple of years. I ...
A. 2 February 2012: Have you ever noticed how much cleavage is on women's magazines? Women as well as men find looking at attractive women appealing. If it were only images of the opposite sex that sold to heterosexuals, there would be only men on women's magazines. ... (read in full...)
My ex husband's fiancée posted a picture of our LEGAL divorce decree ON FACEBOOK
Q. Gang, I am MORTIFIED. I am not thrilled or happy about my divorce... it's a failure on my part and it is what it is. I don't need or WANT to shout from the rooftops I'm divorced (yet again). I just got a text from a friend of mine congratulat...
A. 1 February 2012: Stuff like that comes back to haunt people later. There are probably friends thinking "oh THAT'S a bit um.... classless!"
I think you need to get some stock, dismissive answer prepared.
Um. Let's think about this.
"Yes, I've heard Janet has go... (read in full...)
Does he want to see me with another woman for my pleasure or his?
Q. Hello everyone , i would like to have your opinion about a relationship-sex issue that is troubling me for some time .Iam a woman 36 yrs,I was married 7 years and had 2 small chidren when i met my current fiancee, who is 36 yrs old also .I had a ...
A. 1 February 2012: It sounds to me as though he's trying to get you to share and accept his fantasy as your own. If it doesn't work for you, be honest and firm and don't feel forced to pretend anything.
Someone who has been in an abusive relationship may be unco... (read in full...)
After only 2 months of marriage the arguments are terrible and she is threatening to cheat! Why is she doing this and how do I sort this out?
Q. Great 2 months of unstable marriage. At first I was appreciated. We used to love each other prior to getting married but... In these 2 months, we have had epic arguments, I've been called idiot etc. We had an argument tonight and she went further to ...
A. 1 February 2012: Isn't this you? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-on-my-way-out-the-door.html Please get yourself into a couples counselor's office ASAP. You received a great deal of advice on that last thread and obviously, nothing has helped. SHE has to wan... (read in full...)
We broke up because she is a go-getter and I wasnt figuring my career out quick enough...but now I want her back, how do I show her things will be different this time?
Q. I think the main reason was my wavering mind about my career, and the pace at which I was going in trying to figure things out - more slowly than her. She's a real go getter, and she really wanted me to match her pace, which I wanted to as well, but ...
A. 1 February 2012: I think you should live the live YOU choose, and not try to live up to an expectation that doesn't mesh with your own strengths or weaknesses. At this point, you have made it very clear you care deeply for her, but that isn't necessarily enough to ... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 31 January 2012: It is good you are concerned about her health. I have to say, the very best thing you can do is to get her (AND yourself) into a doctor's care so she can be managed better. I would take the money you may be putting aside for the wedding and put that ... (read in full...)
I think he likes me, but I don't want to date yet!
Q. Hi. Long story short, my best friends friend has started talking to me, at first it was just day to day friendly chat but now he's starting to flirt and wants to take me out for valentines day. I dont want a boyfriend yet, but i dont know if he's ...
A. 31 January 2012: I think the easy way out is to just say really cutting things about dating. "Oh, thank goodness you are such a cool guy and understand where I am, which is NOT dating anybody."
"I'm so glad I don't have to worry about chatting with you because you ... (read in full...)
Hopelessly in love and I might just be a hook-up to him.
Q. In may of last year i started to see this guy Ashton. it Started out just friends with benefits and then on june 18th we started officially dating. He broke up with me 2 weeks later and then we got back together and i broke up with him on july 17th ...
A. 31 January 2012: He sounds pretty unreliable to me. I'd give up on him, sorry to disappoint you but not everyone you like is going to like you back. It's sad and annoying and upsetting but it happens in life. One of those really irritating life lessons we all have ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents I'm going to date the boy who used to bully me?
Q. hey, i like this guy, and i am going to try it out with him. except a month ago this boy was bullying me only because he was with this new girl who did not like me, he was only doing it cause he was under peer pressure. he has loved me for lik...
A. 30 January 2012: Sounds like a plan! I would put the items in this order: wait a few months, after telling parents about his interest, THEN go on a few dates.
Moms and Dads have your best interests at heart and you know something? They were your age once too, and ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents I'm going to date the boy who used to bully me?
Q. hey, i like this guy, and i am going to try it out with him. except a month ago this boy was bullying me only because he was with this new girl who did not like me, he was only doing it cause he was under peer pressure. he has loved me for lik...
A. 30 January 2012: Anyone so easily swayed by peer pressure is likely to succumb to it again. I'd hold off on dating him for at least a month, until his intentions are more obvious.
As far as telling your parents, be honest. Tell them what you know of him and then... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 20 January 2012: Are there no professional matchmaker services in the UK? I'm sure you are clever enough to find one, if you put your mind to it. Good luck!... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 19 January 2012: It is easy if you keep trying. Sounds like you gave up a long time ago, because your thoughts keep going back to "I'm a virgin! She won't want to be with a virgin! She's not a virgin! She can't be a virgin! She's going to JUDGE ME!" And then the ... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 17 January 2012: "I've enjoyed chatting with you very much. I'd like to get to know you better. Would you like to go out, for a cup of coffee? May I have your number?"
Can you manage that?... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 17 January 2012: "I'm stuck between my morals and my penis." No, actually, you are trapped by your own shyness and social anxiety disorder. Deal with that first. The rest will follow.
Instead of analyzing how to lose your virginity, analyze how to lose the soci... (read in full...)
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 23 December 2011: I was just wondering how things went for you! Thanks for the follow up!
... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 22 December 2011: THAT is the followup I was hoping for. So you get to work on that self-esteem--far more important than her breast size. The fact of the matter is that people change physically over time; so the fact that you love her so much is a good thing, because ... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 21 December 2011: So basically, you're working from a sense of personal insecurity and inferiority? That's why you want her to stay heavy? That's why you are okay with her building up fatty deposits in her arteries and increasing her risk for all sorts of medical ... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 20 December 2011: Please don't be one of those guys who is more concerned about her breast size than her health. That's really not a good place to be. If she loses weight carefully, eating right and exercising well, she'll be just fine. Smaller all over, and best of ... (read in full...)
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 27 September 2011: This strategy that I've laid out will address this comment he made: He told me that men do not like to discuss things, they just decide and move on whereas girls like to discuss every last detail.
So stop discussing (he's not listening, he hear... (read in full...)
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 27 September 2011: Re-reading the post, I'd tell him that you expect to meet his mother by the end of October. If this doesn't happen, then break up with him. Make it clear this is IT, then sit back and wait to see if he makes it happen. If he does nothing and you ... (read in full...)
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 27 September 2011: Hi there, I read your followup and had to chime in (late) to the discussion. First of all, I have met many international couples, they do work, IF there's a willingness and openness on both sides.
I think after 2 1/2 years together, he knows if h... (read in full...)
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