If sex is good and beautiful, why is it called or referred to as the nasty?
Q. If sex is good and beautiful, why is it called or referred to as the nasty? What can be more beautiful than seeing another person, especially one you care about in the nude? What can be more enjoyable than being close to the one you care about??...
A. 31 March 2009: Sex isn't good or beautiful.
Sex isn't nasty.
Sex can be either, or both, or neither. You can have sex that can be one the most incredible experiences you ever have and leave a positive mark on your life. Or you can have sex that can be trul... (read in full...)
We slept together and now he hasn't called
Q. Ok so I really like this guy and have for a while. After becoming friends and months of me wanting him we began dating. Everything was going great at first and no problems at all. Then we slept together. I wanted to wait (We have only been dating ...
A. 31 March 2009: "He hasn't called all day".
So you slept with him last night?
Give it some time. He might take a few days to call back, even if he's interested in a relationship. But if he doesn't after 4-5 days or a week, then it's pretty likely he's not ... (read in full...)
I feel so sad right now. Why isn't he calling like he promised?
Q. I have been seeing this guy from my university for almost a month. We act couple when we are together and he says he thinks I'm so sexy all the time. I asked him what exactly we were and he said that he really likes me and wants to see where this ...
A. 30 March 2009: I have two suggestions for you:
1. Stop waiting for his calls. You're placing too much focus on them, and setting yourself up for anxiety and disappointment. Get on with your life and the things you like to do, and enjoy it when he does get in t... (read in full...)
We keep fighting about my past and my b/f's "lack of trust"
Q. I am seriously involved with a guy now and it has been going on for 2 years. I was in quite a few relationships before which ended badly. I did not speak about them when me and my boyfriend started seeing each other initially. At one point I told ...
A. 29 March 2009: Since you don't give any details it's hard to say how over the top your boyfriend's reaction is.
It's both common and (unfortunately) natural for men to react badly to a woman's past when it comes information about former relationships. Despite ... (read in full...)
If you knew the girl you were dating had a few one night stands would it put you off her?
Q. Guys, if your dating someone, is it a turn off to know the girl has had a few one night stands? and a 'friends with benefits' relationship? or is it not that a big of a deal?...
A. 24 March 2009: For some people it is, for others it isn't. Only you know if you can cope with it, if you can't then whatever you do don't make it her fault. It's all on you: either deal or don't.... (read in full...)
How do I break this insane jealousy?
Q. Ive been with a guy for 9 months!! its been amazing the first 2 months.. but then weve started fighting over the stupidest things. the past!! we both had a really hard time getting over the drug use(his more then mine) and sexually past(mine more ...
A. 17 March 2009: Jealousy can be an all-consuming and very damaging emotion. I went through a phase of being very jealous, I found that understanding the biological reasons for jealousy helped me put things in perspective. There is a great book about this, I can ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of my girlfriend's previous friend with benefits
Q. Hello. I am a divorced male and have been dating this girl for about 5 months. She is truly great and I think the world of her. I am taking things slow because I've been married and don't want to rush into anything. Recently, while drinking at ...
A. 17 March 2009: Your first mistake: having the 'previous sexual partners' conversation. No good comes of that discussion, and you should stop talking about that (if you still are). Nothing you learn is going to make you feel any better, and there's plenty you could ... (read in full...)
Does anyone think fetishes can be 'cured' or diminished?
Q. Hi. My main problem is excessive masturbation.i seem to put more effort into it than any other area. I have a steady girlfriend and things are generally ok in that area, guess could be improved a bit but thats cos we dont always see a lot of...
A. 16 March 2009: I recommend you watch this documentary:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtgsMCECWnw
It might redefine your definition of excessive!... (read in full...)
Should I tell my pregnant sister that her husband is sleeping with other men?
Q. okay so i have this huge problem i discovered through his phone and the internet that my sisters husband is sleeping with other men, i dont want to upsett my sister she is just pregnant for the second time and she always says how much she loves ...
A. 13 March 2009: I suggest you go to her husband first and tell him he needs to own up to her. And that if he doesn't, you'll tell her.
It's better coming from him.... (read in full...)
How many is too many
Q. is six guys alot for a 17 year old girl to sleep with? please help!!!...
A. 11 March 2009: I'd say yes, and it's a lot above average. A small number of people sleep with a lot, but it's not nearly as many people as we might think. We tend to notice the people that have had a lot of sexual partners and assume everyone else (the large ... (read in full...)
How to be a woman player
Q. I need to know how to be a woman "player" - you know, just like some men are players. Does it mean that the woman does the same thing back to him that he does to her? For example, there's this guy at work who has a g/f but he gets jealous when he ...
A. 7 March 2009: "Does it mean that the woman does the same thing back to him that he does to her?"
No. The rules are different for each sex because each sexes motivations, emotions and biology is different. Acting like a guy is only going to hurt you more, no... (read in full...)
He is "out of order"
Q. After asking my partner a simple question (a faulty kettle) last week we ended up having a big argument about our relationship and how he wants to be on his own, how i grind him to the ground (i can assure you i do nothing of the sort- really!) ...
A. 7 March 2009: As a guy, it sounds like this took the two of you, whilst you're blaming it primarily on him. Your simple question about the kettle could have been the last in a long line of (sorry have to use the word) nagging questions that drove him nuts. Not ... (read in full...)
Does he care about what happened to me in my past or does he just want to score?
Q. This is really weird for me to say or ask about so please bear with me. I'm 20 and have a boyfriend the same age, I've been with him for like 2 months. We never had sex and I told him I'm not ready, I'm a virgin he is not. We just make out, h...
A. 2 March 2009: If you keep doing what you're doing you're going to get raped by this boy.
You have to either:
1 - Draw a clear line. Tell him what you are willing to do and the moment he goes over it, stand up, say 'thats not ok' and walk away. Don't hesi... (read in full...)
How can guys be so sleazy?
Q. There are these two guys who are like best friends that I know. They both sleep around and when we went to a party once, one of them was having sex with a random girl and his friend joined him after a while and they "double teamed" her. The guys ...
A. 2 March 2009: That is really sleazy. I feel sorry for the girl: she's quite likely to have some serious regrets. Those guys clearly had no regard for her at all, your description is the epitome of 'being used'.
You ask how guys can do that? Well fortunat... (read in full...)
Crying during anal sex normal?
Q. is crying doing anal sex normal it was so painful my boyfriend said if i don't get things straight he will brake up with me what should do...
A. 2 March 2009: When a 16 year old boy has jerked off over hundreds of hours of anal sex videos showing huge cocks being shoved very hard into (what appear to be very enthusiastic) girls asses, it's easy for him to get the wrong ideas. This is now normal for most ... (read in full...)
He found out I lied about my virginity 12 years ago!
Q. I have been married for 12 years and had lied to my husband that that I was a virgin when we got married I was sure that he would never find out as he was a virgin himself. Everything was fine until last month when he met a few old friend at a local ...
A. 1 March 2009: Don't underestimate how betrayed he will be feeling. For you it may seem like a small lie, but to him it will be huge. And likely to continue to be huge for a long time. Don't make out that you think he is over-reacting, because, given the emotions ... (read in full...)
Guys would you marry a girl who was forced to do oral sex in her past?
Q. Guys would you marry a girl who was forced to do oral sex in her past?...
A. 24 February 2009: You might be confusing yourself, connecting two mostly unrelated feelings.
The first is your dislike of what happened to her. Anytime you think about it, you're not going to feel good.
The second is that you are having doubts about marrying h... (read in full...)
He is very upset and unsure if he should marry a 'loose woman' (because of her past).
Q. OK, I don't have a problem, but I have a friend who is having some serious thoughts about his fiancee. I intend on getting as much advice from this site as I can, then either print out the answers, or log on (not at work) and have him read all your ...
A. 20 February 2009: To the comment below this: "loose" isn't meant literally. A "loose" woman is just a way to say a "promiscuous" woman. ... (read in full...)
He is very upset and unsure if he should marry a 'loose woman' (because of her past).
Q. OK, I don't have a problem, but I have a friend who is having some serious thoughts about his fiancee. I intend on getting as much advice from this site as I can, then either print out the answers, or log on (not at work) and have him read all your ...
A. 20 February 2009: I've experienced this first-hand and spent a lot of time talking to other men who have. It can be VERY difficult to deal with. Some advice:
- He shouldn't marry her until he's sure he wants to. At least until he's sure he wants to get over thi... (read in full...)
How do I talk a girl into trying/having anal sex?...
Q. I have this fetish with having anal sex with girls. A lot of girls won't even try it but I have a real big fetish with it. How do I talk a girl into trying/having anal sex?...
A. 18 February 2009: Don't ever force someone or pressure them if they don't like it. I suggest you wait to find a girl who is really into it, then make sure you have a very long and fulfilling relationship with her.... (read in full...)
My wife was not a virgin and this discovery has hurt me deeply. Please help!
Q. my wife told me that she was not a virgin before we got married, myself was a virgin and only lost it to her.now we are married and truly love her but hurt her past and at times i illtreat her. so i will never experience breaking a virgin i ask ...
A. 18 February 2009: I don't like to shoot down another aunts answers but i have to disagree strongly with the previous post:
"Also, if you are ok with wife not being a virgin —— PROVE IT.
Ask her about previous sexual experience(s).
Get details, find out how she... (read in full...)
He asked about my past and now says he can't be intimate because of the images he sees of me and my ex!
Q. My boyfriend and i are dating long distance. Things would be going great between us until he starts thinking about my past. i have had one boyfriend prior to him and one hook up. He says he can't even be intimate with me because everytime we do, he ...
A. 13 February 2009: There's a few things you can do:
- Don't tell him any more. No matter how much he pesters you
- Don't co-operate when he starts to discuss this stuff. Make it clear its not ok and it's doing neither of you any good
- Be clear and firm (but n... (read in full...)
The pain of her past never goes away
Q. Ok, well this is going to go into detail. So be warned. Im currently a senior in high school. My girlfriend who I am in love with. (I dont know how this site really works, but please dont judge me for saying I love her, or that Im too young. For r...
A. 12 February 2009: "I just wish that I COULD HAVE BEEN her first"
You do realise that you're wishing for the impossible? Yes, you do.
So you have to give up on this wish. You have to accept things as the way they are, and move on. You have to let go of the though... (read in full...)
He popped my cherry but didn't cum, I can't get pregnant can I?
Q. my best friend and i had sex and he was so nerves we were having sex he told me that i was his fist time but what didn't make sense to me was he wasn't getting off and he said that there was no pre cum coming out.He told me the next day that he got ...
A. 8 February 2009: If there was any penetration then there's a chance of pregnancy. Especially at your age(s), since you'll both be VERY fertile. So take a pregnancy test, and ALWAYS use contraception in the future.... (read in full...)
How many sleeping partner have you had
Q. Hi im doing a survey about how many sleeping partners (vaginal or anal) you or anyone you know, GF/BF etc, has had? Plz also state how sure you are of yours and your partners number! Plz be honest as there's no need to lie because you can just put...
A. 6 February 2009: The word 'average' is very misleading.
The mathematical term for average is the 'mean'. To calculate that you count all the sexual partners everyone has had, and divide by the number of people.
The result for men and women should be very n... (read in full...)
DearCupid had over one million people visit the site in January!
Q. I have just peeped at our visitor figures for January 2009, the month just gone, and I'm excited to see that DearCupid passed 1,000,000 (yes, one MILLION!) unique visitors/month for the first time. According to Google Analytics we had 1,040,812 ...
A. 2 February 2009: Well done... (read in full...)
Help me to not have sex with this guy who just wants to get in my pants!
Q. So i really need advice because i dont kno if i should lose my virginity right now to this guy..he gets his license in 4 days. only 4 DAYS! and thats how much time i have left to decide because that is when he gets his license. and when he does, he ...
A. 29 January 2009: It sounds to me like you want to have sex with him, and that you will.
I suggest you do. Then when you get hurt afterwards you'll learn and act more sensibly the next time. Sometimes the only way to learn is to go through the experience ourselve... (read in full...)
Have I lost perspective on my wife's sexual past?
Q. Have I lost perspective on my wife's sexual past? When we first started dating, we told each other about our past. I had a 2 yr relationship. She had dated in high school, and did some heavy petting. Then just a month before we met, she dated a ...
A. 29 January 2009: I would advise being cautious with how you show your sympathy and support to your wife. You can end up reinforcing her negative view of herself and her behaviour. Your impulse to get her to blame the guy (and not herself) is very positive in this ... (read in full...)
A lesson to be learned here...
Q. Met this guy on internet dating site. Texted, only, for 5 weeks, and then we arranged to meet. Because he works till late.... he came to my house.... I was sure he was someone I could trust. Of course, our texting was mostly of a sexual nature... ...
A. 29 January 2009: As emily said below... "It's a sad fact because it's 2009, but men's brains seem to be stuck in the 1850's so you just have to learn not o get sexual so soon with a guy off the net."
I'd say men's brains are actually stuck in 10,000 BC (our bra... (read in full...)
Do all girls squit?
Q. i have seen girls in videos squirting and some of them squirt as if they are a waterfall and it gushes out... do girls always squirt when they have an orgasm? and if they do is it just water?...
A. 28 January 2009: Very few do. And in many of those videos they are just pretending to 'squirt' and are really just urinating.
It's pretty sobering the thought of getting a sex education via porn from the internet! Just remember, porn is VERY far from what real sex... (read in full...)
Whyy am I still single??
Q. i'm 15,i'm a sophmore in high school and i was wondering.is it normal to never have a boyfriend.i mean i've been on a date,i've been kissed,i've done hook-ups,but i never had a boyfriend and i really wanna know why probably because. i always flirt...
A. 26 January 2009: Although the other aunts have said don't worry about having a boyfriend, it does sound like you want one, which is a fine thing to want, if that's what you want!
You said...
"I've done hook-ups...I always flirt wit a guy i like and the minute i... (read in full...)
Is a woman's age a society issue??
Q. Is a female turning 30+ a bad thing in society? Are women over 30 a bad thing? Do guys prefer girls in there 20s because I know a few guys who ask out girls in there 20s. Where does that leave me?...
A. 26 January 2009: A bad thing? No not at all. But many guys will think that women in their 30s are 'serious' about finding a suitable father for their (potential) children, because of the ticking biological clock. This makes some men think twice before getting into ... (read in full...)
Have I lost perspective on my wife's sexual past?
Q. Have I lost perspective on my wife's sexual past? When we first started dating, we told each other about our past. I had a 2 yr relationship. She had dated in high school, and did some heavy petting. Then just a month before we met, she dated a ...
A. 22 January 2009: This is a common problem that comes up a lot here. You can search under 'partners past' and similar to find posts about it. Also look under my post history, and also troubledtoomuch.
Here is a prior post about it, also containing links to many mor... (read in full...)
Do boys see girls who give blow jobs as easy or slutty?
Q. Do boys see girls who give blow jobs as easy or slutty?...
A. 22 January 2009: That all depends on to whom and under what circumstances.
If you give blow jobs to your boyfriend in the context of a relationship, then certainly not.
But if you're handing out random blow jobs to strangers whilst drunk, then yes.
It's nev... (read in full...)
Anyone had sex on a first date that turned into a relationship?
Q. I just wanted to know if anyone has ever had sex with a guy on a first date and it turned into a relationship? Men and Women please both answer. Thank you....
A. 14 January 2009: Personally no, but then if during the date I thought she was 'relationship material', then I'd make sure not to! If I'm honest, I don't like to think my gf would be willing to have sex on a first date with anyone (including me), so the best way to ... (read in full...)
What REALLY goes on at gentleman's clubs?
Q. Hello, Can anyone please please please tell me what really goes on at gentlemens clubs? I know there are dancers, but I have heard there are also side rooms, vips rooms, suites, hotel rooms, etc. that you can go and get blowjobs or sex from the ...
A. 8 January 2009: There is a huge range.
Anything from very cheap to outrageously expensive ($20 to $2000)
And anything from "look but don't touch", to: watch the strippers, pick the one you want and take her to a nearby hotel room.
Generally the busines... (read in full...)
The World of Hanging Out and Hooking Up
Q. “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally You. You are smart, you are independent, you are strong. You make your own choices about what you do with your body. When you like a guy...
A. 7 January 2009: "I have to ask if the article would still be effective if the genders were reversed?"
No, not at all. Males and females have different 'mating' strategies based on our biology. Put simply: women exhibit generally more cautious behaviour because ... (read in full...)
The World of Hanging Out and Hooking Up
Q. “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally You. You are smart, you are independent, you are strong. You make your own choices about what you do with your body. When you like a guy...
A. 7 January 2009: Yes Tisha, the boys get plenty of 'how to behave' sex education too. Most of the stuff is in dutch, so not much point in uploading. But there was a good article about it in the Times recently:
http://w... (read in full...)
The World of Hanging Out and Hooking Up
Q. “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally You. You are smart, you are independent, you are strong. You make your own choices about what you do with your body. When you like a guy...
A. 7 January 2009: Very well put. True, accurate and unfortunate for women.
"He acted like he was really into you, so why doesn’t he call or text?"
I think you answered that clearly and accurately. A guy can act 'really into you' on Saturday night for a spec... (read in full...)
In love with a player who is replacing my twin sister by flirting with me!
Q. This is terrible, I'm falling in love with a playboy. At our school he's known as a Prince, although I don't quite agree with that. Opposites attract, I'm more of the quiet shy type and he's the guy who parties all night long and has sex with random ...
A. 7 January 2009: I guarantee he's telling many other girls the same things he's telling you. That he 'loves' them, and that they are 'sexy' etc.
That's what players do: flirt with and flatter as many girls as possible, whilst making each feel 'special', and then... (read in full...)
Arguments about anal!
Q. My fiance is always getting sexually frustrated with me and it is always about the same thing -- him wanting to perform anal sex on me!!! I'm not down with that. We've kind of tried before. Last night, we had a slight argument about it. Of course I ...
A. 6 January 2009: "what you won't do for your man, another woman will"
That is totally out of line. He's saying that if you don't do it, he'll find another girl that will.
You should treat this as a MAJOR WARNING SIGN about marrying this guy. If he cared about y... (read in full...)
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