Why did wife lie about her past? I have a right to know!
Q. I found out my wife lied to me about how many guys she slept with before me. When the topic first came up when we were dating she told me there was three. I had a very hard time with this because i felt very insecure about myself. At that point i ...
A. 28 April 2010: I write here almost only on this subject. I experienced extreme retroactive jealousy myself a while back, and found very little helpful information about. So now I'm trying to do my bit to provide some.
Nietzsche was an extreme sexist and racist. ... (read in full...)
Why did wife lie about her past? I have a right to know!
Q. I found out my wife lied to me about how many guys she slept with before me. When the topic first came up when we were dating she told me there was three. I had a very hard time with this because i felt very insecure about myself. At that point i ...
A. 27 April 2010: Quoting Nietzsche on women probably isn't so wise ;)
But yes, this is probably really horrible for his wife. Nobody wins with retroactive jealousy.
... (read in full...)
Why did wife lie about her past? I have a right to know!
Q. I found out my wife lied to me about how many guys she slept with before me. When the topic first came up when we were dating she told me there was three. I had a very hard time with this because i felt very insecure about myself. At that point i ...
A. 27 April 2010: "Women please wake up and dump guys who ask you to sign on paper how many guys you have slept with"
I'd never ever normally suggest something like this. But in this particular case they are married, and she has knowingly lied repeatedly. It seems... (read in full...)
His 3rd date rule is too fast for me.
Q. I recently got out of a relationship about a month ago. I started seeing someone new who I have amazing chemistry with. Problem is he's 27 and believes in the 3rd date rule, I told him no and I believe in having sex after I'm in a relationship with ...
A. 27 April 2010: Don't let him pressure you into sex: only do it if you are ready. The 3rd date rule isn't a rule at all. Don't worry about it.... (read in full...)
Is it true that for many guys they can totally separate sex from any emotion?
Q. Is it true that for many guys they can totally separate sex from any emotion? I was a virgin before my current BF but he's had three casual sex experiences, one of them a one night stand. I don't get how he could have sex with girls he did...
A. 27 April 2010: It's true for some but not all. I learned that I can't for instance.... (read in full...)
Why did wife lie about her past? I have a right to know!
Q. I found out my wife lied to me about how many guys she slept with before me. When the topic first came up when we were dating she told me there was three. I had a very hard time with this because i felt very insecure about myself. At that point i ...
A. 27 April 2010: "I don't understand why so many people get so angry and upset about their spouses past? it is in the past, therefore it doesn't matter anymore."
I don't mean to single you out rambini, but your answer sums up how this question typically gets ans... (read in full...)
I can't let go of her past
Q. well ive been married for 2 years and everything seems typical , but i have a problem i cant let go of , my wife told me she has had over 50 one night stands ! it bothers me sometime i feel like a sucker , she also has had three ways with guys and ...
A. 23 April 2010: Is that you TTM? May I ask why you went anon? I can't message you now! ... (read in full...)
I can't let go of her past
Q. well ive been married for 2 years and everything seems typical , but i have a problem i cant let go of , my wife told me she has had over 50 one night stands ! it bothers me sometime i feel like a sucker , she also has had three ways with guys and ...
A. 23 April 2010: Being told this before or after you got married makes a big difference. If you knew this going in, then you have a serious obligation to try to make things work. But if she told you after, you are well within your rights to divorce.
By any stan... (read in full...)
Is this a new trend? Twenty-somethings hitting on 40-somethings?
Q. To all of the men out there. I am 48 years old and have been getting hit up on by gorgeous guys in thier early 20's. Is this a new trend going on? Are these guys just looking for sex? FYI i have not been going out with any of them because of the ...
A. 23 April 2010: Yes it's officially a trend.
How can I be so sure? Because there's a new show about it starring Courtney Cox, called... Cougar Town!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cougar_Town... (read in full...)
Is visiting a live porn room with cameras the same as watching porn videos?
Q. How do I interpret the fact that my boyfriend of over 10 years visits live porn rooms? I found out about the online porn videos and live rooms 5 o 6 years into our relationship and found it in my heart to get past it after he agreed not to visit ...
A. 22 April 2010: You've only found the homepages in the browser history? Then you are making a big assumption. These pages automatically pop-up as a form of advertising. So it's very possible he's just looking at ordinary porn and these are ads. Unless you know he's ... (read in full...)
How do I make myself seem sick so I don't have to go visit his family?
Q. I am supposed to go up north (Michigan) with my boyfriend's dads side of the family. i don't want to go because he has never been close with them and it's uncomfortable. The last time i went i had a horrible time. I want to make my boyfriend think i ...
A. 22 April 2010: Everyone doesn't win: you are lying. That's a lose for your relationship.
Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about this. If he's ok with you not going after you've discussed it truthfully, then great. If he still wants yo... (read in full...)
Is visiting a live porn room with cameras the same as watching porn videos?
Q. How do I interpret the fact that my boyfriend of over 10 years visits live porn rooms? I found out about the online porn videos and live rooms 5 o 6 years into our relationship and found it in my heart to get past it after he agreed not to visit ...
A. 22 April 2010: I think a few aunts are misunderstanding what a 'live sex room' is.
I'm assuming you mean a live ONLINE sex room. These have become very common lately: usually a girl with a webcam in a room somewhere remote, doing whatever the viewer asks.
... (read in full...)
Is eight guys too many?
Q. this is kind of stupid to ask but i just want to know people's opinion (go easy please :P) i am 18 and over the last 2 years i have had sex with 8 guys. is that too many? does that make me a slut? only 3 of the guys was i in any sort of relationship ...
A. 21 April 2010: As you can see, the answer depends on who you ask. Everyone has a different opinion. But, the more you sleep with, the more people will be critical. How much you care about that is your decision. Some do, plenty don't. I could give you my personal ... (read in full...)
I hurt my GFs feelings, and now shes insecure. how can I fix her?
Q. So me and mygirl have always had an oustanding relationship, the best one of my whole life. The problem with her is that we were a bit to open. we always horse play and be goofy cuz were that comfortable wit each other and sometimes wed throw little ...
A. 21 April 2010: Goofing around is ok, but there are certain subjects that should ALWAYS be off limits with girls. Fat jokes is one of them... just don't do it ever. The correct answer to the question 'does my ass look big in this honey?' is always 'you look great ... (read in full...)
My partner keeps changing her story about her past, what should I believe?
Q. ive been with my partner for 6 years and at the start she told me she had 4 previous partners and liked making me jealous, and it worked and as time went on i asked her how the sex was with them, then all of a sudden she said she only slept with 3, ...
A. 21 April 2010: Have you tried asking her why she keeps changing the number?... (read in full...)
Rationalising my past and my girlfriend's past!
Q. I'm going through a terrible time right now in my mind and am not sure what to do! I am in my mid 30s. For various reasons I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 21. This has never bothered me but I have recently met the most amazing wom...
A. 20 April 2010: Thanks for replying. If you have any specific questions please ask or message me. But asking is better because others can read it too.
Be strong... (read in full...)
Rationalising my past and my girlfriend's past!
Q. I'm going through a terrible time right now in my mind and am not sure what to do! I am in my mid 30s. For various reasons I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 21. This has never bothered me but I have recently met the most amazing wom...
A. 19 April 2010: "Rationally I know she's done nothing wrong and I can't change the past but thinking about her with these men, how she fell in love with them etc. sends me into a bad place."
Well it's good that you rationally accept she's done nothing wrong. M... (read in full...)
Friends vs lovers - you women mix us guys up!!
Q. What is it with you women? I know it's a woman's option to change her mind, but.... Poor guys on here get so mixed up by you lot! Half the time you tell us to "hang in there, be their friend" when we like someone but the other person is with s...
A. 19 April 2010: I can tell you my approach.
If I fancy a girl then I make that clear, albeit not too pushy... and if she doesn't like me then she doesn't like me. I don't think we can control who we are attracted to: we are are or we are not.
If she isn't ... (read in full...)
I want to stop thinking about my girlfriend's past...
Q. i met my girlfriend 2 years ago. we've been together for 9 months now. i really love her. she had sex for the first time 6 months before we got together. she had sex a second time maybe 2 weeks to a month before we got together. th...
A. 16 April 2010: You say you are 'doing everything you can'. What exactly are you doing?
The reality is there's nothing you can do. Your only option is to accept her, accept what happened, then stop thinking about it. In other words... do nothing! That includes... (read in full...)
I don't like her past and wonder if I should stay married
Q. hi, i'm 26 male n just got married a couple of months back. My problem is that i'm upset/angry whenever i think of the sex my wife had with her ex-boyfriends and it haunts me like i wish i were dead. She told me her past life with whom she slept ...
A. 16 April 2010: This is a common problem. You know it's not fair to be angry with her for this right? It's understandable that you are, but there is nothing she can do about it now, so your anger at her is only going to make the situation worse.
I have written ... (read in full...)
He thinks I lied about the number of relationships I've had
Q. I have been dating a man for six months. We dated each other last year however not seriously and I ended things without an explanation after 5 months last time. This time around things are better and more serious. Initially I contacted him ...
A. 14 April 2010: There's no reason why he should believe you. From his point of view, you've demonstrated you will tell him what you think he wants to hear.
Unfortunately, this particular subject is one that men take very seriously, and once trust is broken, ... (read in full...)
I love her but she slept with so many men
Q. I was dating someone a couple years ago that I cared very deeply for. We were having a great time together. During the time we were together she was sexually assaulted by someone she knew. She didn't go to the police or tell anyone for months. ...
A. 14 April 2010: She was right: you didn't want to know. What has knowing done for you other than make the situation worse?
What she did isn't that unusual. I know several women whose reaction to sexual assault / abuse is to become very promiscuous. Usually ... (read in full...)
Why do men turn to protitutes?
Q. this may sound like a random question, but why do alot of men visit prostitutes? most of them are dirty crack addicts who are really ugly and are tramps, and why would men want to do that if they have a pretty girl at home who is willing to do ...
A. 12 April 2010: For the same reasons women buy shoes.
For pleasure. To feel attractive and sexual. For the thrill of it. Because it's only about and for himself. To experience 'out of the ordinary'. To sleep with women he couldn't do otherwise. Or to get to sleep... (read in full...)
How can I show my boss a hot kinky time?
Q. I posted on here a few days ago regarding my casual sex relationship with my 33 year old boss. Today, she expressed an interest to visit me one night. So far we have only been having sex around hers but she wanted to spice it up a little. My parents ...
A. 12 April 2010: Since she is 33 and you are only 19, I think she's in a better place to be coming up with the kinky ideas. In your shoes I'd just tell her you're up for trying things, and tell her to take the lead... (read in full...)
Having casual sex with my boss..should it go on?
Q. I started working for a well known Supermarket chain about 6 months ago. Since then, I have grown attracted to one of my department bosses. She's blonde, 33 (which without giving my ag, and the other week me and her had hot and raunchy sex together. ...
A. 11 April 2010: No reason why not. Two bits of advice:
1. If it ends badly, you'll probably have to quit your job
2. Use contraception always. If she gets pregnant, at her age, she's likely to keep it, whether you want to or not
Having said that... h... (read in full...)
I'm ready to lose it but he can't use condoms
Q. well im 15 years old and iv been with my boyfriend a while and we are ready to have sex, but the only thing is he cant use condoms so i am not protected, but i really want to do it with him because im ready and im in love with him, but im scared ...
A. 11 April 2010: Of course he can use condoms. Don't let him make you believe different... (read in full...)
He wants to try anal.
Q. My bf wants to try anal sex.I kinda want to but I am scard it will hurt . any advice...
A. 11 April 2010: You 'kinda want to' sounds like you don't want to. You know your bf wants to do this because he's seen it in porn a lot, right? And you know porn is not like real sex? Does he know that?
Just don't do anything you're not comfortable with, or feel ... (read in full...)
Moved too fast and now I don't think he's interested
Q. Please help, I think I really blew it with a guy I liked very much. I met him almost a year ago, but we have been hanging out together for a few months now. We live in different cities which are about 2 hours away so I don't see him all the time. ...
A. 10 April 2010: I you have to try, and it sounds like you do, then pick up the phone. It may be awkward (possibly very), but you never know til you try. Just ask him pretty quickly if he's like to meet up soon. If he's evasive, then that's a no.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I am taken aback by my wife admitting how many people she has slept with?
Q. me and my wife are both 30 and been together for 12 months. we recently did the "how many people have you slept with" conversation and she confessed to sleeping with 36 people, mine is 12. am i wrong to feel slightly taken aback by her sleeping with ...
A. 9 April 2010: Really take note of what Serenity80 said:
"You are going to have to become a master at being able to detect early on when these thoughts are entering your mind and get skilled at directing your attention away from them, rather than let them con... (read in full...)
I opened up a little book of hers and started reading about her past...
Q. I am 18 years old and i met the most amazing girl about 7 months ago. About 2 months into our relationship we decided to have a child together, our parents know and we have talked it through. However she has been sexually promiscuous in the past ...
A. 9 April 2010: So she decided to have a child with you within one month of sleeping with someone else? And did it very quickly and opportunistically (ie in just the 2 days you were away).
She sounds like serious trouble to me.
You're also very very young ... (read in full...)
A woman says she was with my husband, but he denies it
Q. I think im going to leave my husband because I can't take it anymore. About this women that keeps sending me messages about him. I think he was with her last year when he went on a trip to florida. And we had just moved into our house. She keeps ...
A. 6 April 2010: You have to wonder why she is sending the messages.
A very possible scenario is that she wants him, and nothing has happened so far. Perhaps they met, she came onto him, and he rejected her. Then she became obsessed with him. It wouldn't be the f... (read in full...)
I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!
Q. I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...
A. 6 April 2010: "After I ejaculate into the girl, I'm already thinking, this is disgusting I have to get it out. This is awkward because the girl is still pulling me toward her. I've somehow crossed over to the other side. I thought most guys were like that."
... (read in full...)
I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!
Q. I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...
A. 6 April 2010: I suggest watching the latest southpark Episode: Sexual Healing (season 14.1). It explains why all men are sex addicts and behave this way. Apparently we have been infected by a virus created by magical aliens. The good news: it's curable. ... (read in full...)
Did I lose my virginity to myself?
Q. Hey all, i have a question... i got really horning last ngith and started masturbating. i couldnt get enoguh, so i used a tool to help me feel good. im a virgin, and i started bleeding. could this be because of the tool i used, or my thing breakin...
A. 5 April 2010: You're still a virgin. You can't lose your virginity until you've had a penis inside you (the exact details are up for debate).
And don't feel disgusting. What you did is perfectly normal, most people do it at some time or another. If you want to ... (read in full...)
I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!
Q. I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...
A. 5 April 2010: Asking for advice is the first step. Listening is the next. I suggest working on that part.... (read in full...)
Is straying inevitable when partners are not sexually satisfied?
Q. I feel that its ok for my spouse to look at porn.... but..... My question is???? If your mate (male) is looking at porn and not satisfy his mate (female) then is it safe to say you both will stray??? i am starting to feel his addiction to this is ...
A. 3 April 2010: Porn is controversial, but personally I believe it can reduce a guy's attraction to his partner, especially in a long term relationship. It can become a substitute for sex with her, and that leads to ruin.
I suggest you have a serious conversa... (read in full...)
I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!
Q. I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...
A. 3 April 2010: Just make sure you're honest about your intentions and it's ok. Some guys will pretend to be looking for a girlfriend to get a girl into bed. Don't be one of those. As long as the girl knows what she's signing up for (and be direct about it!), then ... (read in full...)
Question about breast implants - saline or silicone?
Q. Hello! I'm considering getting breast implants. I have been researching the different types, methods of implant, and things which can go wrong. Overall, I've got a very clear picture. I have one problem, I'm debating whether to get saline or silic...
A. 31 March 2010: I have several female friends with them. I've asked all of them why they got them, and are they happy they did. They all said the same pretty much:
- I got them because I thought it would make me feel better and more confident about my body
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have sex, I don't...but he keeps threatening me
Q. um my boyfriend keeps talking about sex and that he wants to um "do it" soon but im not ready and i dont want to do it with him but he keeps threatening me and has rased his hand to me. i dont know what else to do!...
A. 29 March 2010: You need to get away from this guy as fast as possible. Any boy that physically threatens you and is pushing you for sex like that is really bad news! Get out right now, before something terrible happens. He's not safe to be around. And don't be ... (read in full...)
Fiancee lied about being a virgin, how can I let her down gently so she can find someone of the same mindset?
Q. Hai, il go straight to the point. My fiancee lied to me that she was a virgin, am 27 years and i kept my virginity she told me she slept with 10 guys and i dont i can marry her. How do i let her go gently so that she can find some else with her same ...
A. 27 March 2010: Tell her with kindness and respect. Do not make her feel less of a woman. She isn't.
Do bear in mind that you're going to have a hard time finding a woman who is a virgin at 27. Almost everyone is likely to have had sex by the time they get near... (read in full...)
Obsessed with my wife's past...
Q. I have been married to my wife for 14 years,we have three children and on the whole we are happy. I was 19 when i met my wife and she was 23 and we got married two years later. Before i met her i'd only slept with one other woman and my wife tells ...
A. 27 March 2010: "I can't help but feel that she had real enjoyable sex with him and now she is just going through the motions with me and the more i think about what they done the worse it gets in my head."
If you let yourself have that thought it is just goi... (read in full...)
My wife pre empts all lovemaking by saying what she wont do!
Q. Hello, I have been married for 20 years, love my wife dearly, we have a good sex life. I would do anything for my wife , sex wise too. My concern is everytime we want to have sex, foreplay , the first thing she says is I am not giving you a ...
A. 25 March 2010: You need to have an open conversation about this. I can understand: I'd find something like that hurtful too. You need to figure out a way to explain how you feel when she says something like that: and say it in a way that's not accusing her but ... (read in full...)
Obsessed with my wife's past...
Q. I have been married to my wife for 14 years,we have three children and on the whole we are happy. I was 19 when i met my wife and she was 23 and we got married two years later. Before i met her i'd only slept with one other woman and my wife tells ...
A. 25 March 2010: You're obsessing over this. Thinking about the same things over and over, and making yourself jealous and upset about it. Then damaging your relationship because of your jealous behaviour: eg asking too many questions and not trusting her answers. ... (read in full...)
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