A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just wanted to know if anyone has ever had sex with a guy on a first date and it turned into a relationship? Men and Women please both answer. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 We had sex on the first date, not the night we met in the nightclub, but a week later. We are married and still together, which is over 10 years later!
I get the impression it's against the odds.
Before that I was really preoccupied with the do I/don't I think and that it's always the lad who wants it first and that each week he'd try it on.
So in many respects it was nice to get this out of the way and eliminate all that.
Yeah sex is the driving force initially for a few weeks, but without that, you'd miss out on that experience. On the other hand you have the peace of mind to focus on the relationship and get to know what else you have in common. In many respects it's hard to do that when you have your guard up and pre-occupied with sex and wondering how long to leave it first.
At the time I was level-headed enough to accept that if we didn't get on, and it would be a brief thing, at least I had the good sex, but kept an open mind that if it lasts...
It wasn't just that but previously I had a 3 month relationship where I got hurt, but didn't have sex thinking that if I didnt I wouldn't get hurt and I was still waiting to see when I felt happy etc.
I learnt something then and did have a couple of random one night stands. So it was hard for me to justify acting all moral this time round haha.
For those guys who say they prefer the mystery and are used to women living by some sort of moral code anyway, guys wouldn't turn it down so soon, in the way that a girl would. You wouldn't get a guy who says "No, it's too soon".
So having been in both extremes of the situation, I can relate to both sides of the argument.
Fiona.
A
female
reader, D.L +, writes (15 January 2009):
Yeah iDid & We Are Still Together 10 Months Later (:
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A
female
reader, Too Sensitive +, writes (15 January 2009):
Everybody's different, and every situation is different. I think it's better to wait, as that makes it all the more special, and you don't want the sex to be the focus or the driving force of your relationship. I think it's better to get to know someone first, to make really sure that you like them, before giving yourself away. Especially in this day and age.
But, reading some of the answers here, I would agree too that it's possible to have sex on the first date and ultimately end up marrying that person.
In the end, no matter what, whether you wait or don't wait, if you're meant to be with that person, then you will surely end up with that person. Sometimes it's right, and you just know it's right.
If you've already slept with someone and now you are wondering, b/c you really like him or are in love with him, don't fret. What's done is done, we can't go back and change the past. You can certainly discuss any concerns about sleeping together too soon with him, and if you truly mean something to him, you will know by his reaction to your concerns. If you mean something to him, he will reassure you that what happened changes nothing, and he will let you know how he feels about you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): a good friend of mine really liked this guy who was only in town for 1 night and so she had sex with him that night-then he started coming back & after x years they got married & are still 2gether 10yrs later BUT for every tale like this many go nowhere.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009): yes i had sex with my last boyfriend on our first meeting... takes two to tangle but every argument we had he threw it in my face that i gave it up too easy to him. he is now my ex!!!! i wouldnt do it again- no respect from him at all !
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (14 January 2009):
 In my younger days, 30 to 40 years ago, i frequently enjoyed such first date activities and relationships developed with several women lasting from six months to a few years. My preference has always been one woman at a time and see where it goes. Then in 1978, another first date that included overnight accommodations led to a 20-year faithful marriage. Alas, the marriage eventually dissolved, but not because we had long ago jumped into bed on our first date. I think it just depends on the individuals involved, but I've never dumped anyone simply because she became intimate with me right away.
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A
female
reader, MommyOfOne +, writes (14 January 2009):
 Yes. I have had first date sex that turned into a relationship. But, I always felt that it started on the wrong foot and things were missing. We skipped that usual dating, and jumped right into a sexual relationship. We didn't go through the normal courting.
It didn't work out because we rushed it...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009): I had sex on the first date. Its been 5 years and were inseperable. we are engaged! :-D
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 Personally no, but then if during the date I thought she was 'relationship material', then I'd make sure not to! If I'm honest, I don't like to think my gf would be willing to have sex on a first date with anyone (including me), so the best way to not think that is to not do it.
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A
male
reader, passionatelynumb +, writes (14 January 2009):
 Maybe I am just old fashioned or a hopeless romantic, but I've never even tried to go to bed with someone on a first date. However me being a guy, as well as being older and having a much less idealistic view of the world than in my early twenties, if I had enough chemistry with someone and had the opportunity to go to bed with her on the first date, I might not be able to resist the temptation.
However, I don't think I'd ever be able to shake the fact that the sex was given up way too easily. I probably wouldn't want to make a relationship out of it. It just wouldn't seem special enough to me to treasure it or want more of it.
Many guys are just messed up in the head like that.
To make matters even worse, I contemplate leaving my fiance' on daily basis because she went home with so many other men on first dates, which of course went nowhere.
(In our case, we waited about a month to have sex.)
I have a brother, who is a consumate player, he probably beds a new girl every weekend. He's a marine and travels all over the country. He met this girl at a wedding last week and she wouldn't even kiss him on their first date. Now he's interested in her. He's got stars in his eyes. He's flying down to see her on the next long weekend he gets. He told me that he really hopes she doesn't give it up to him any time soon because he doesn't want to be with someone who is "easy". I couldn't believe someone like him could have such a double standard!
So from a guy who see's sex as sacred and another guy who will bed anything he can get, neither one of us really respect or want to be with long term someone who has sex with someone so soon.
I am not saying that it never works out. I'm just telling you what two diffent men with polar opposite personalities think about the situation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009): I yes i selpt with my girlfriend on my first date and then 18 months later i married her, we have now been together 22 years.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009): On our first proper date (after we hooked up, so to speak, in a club), we didn't go so far as to have full sex, but we got into bed with each other, and the only thing stopping us going that far really was the fact that neither of had any condoms. I was, however, aware of the fact that sex on a first date might just be a bit too much. We spent the next 3 nights together, again doing lots of messing around, and then finally had sex on the Monday after the Wednesday of our first date. I would have been happy to do it sooner but I think we were both aware that we shouldn't, or at least that is what we were led to believe. Anyway, to cut a long story short, we are now engaged and getting married next year. One point I would add is that on our first date, no alcohol was involved, so we knew that we really liked each other, and that our judgement wasn't blurred.
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A
male
reader, Sisyphus  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 My longest relationship (4 years) started when we met in a club and had what was supposed to be a one night stand.
My best mate was also in a relationship that lasted four years that started with a random hookup, he's now in a one year relationship that started when they met in a threesum.
That being said I think these events are contrary to the norm. I wouldn't recommend sex on the first date. If on the second date you discover that you don't like this person then you might feel a bit ashamed of yourself, alternately it could possibly make things akward or even remove the mystery.
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