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How do I talk a girl into trying/having anal sex?...

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have this fetish with having anal sex with girls. A lot of girls won't even try it but I have a real big fetish with it. How do I talk a girl into trying/having anal sex?

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A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (18 February 2009):

you can't talk or force someone into having anal sex. you should bring it up, see what her views are on it. if she wants to try it, good luck and enjoy. if she does not want to do it then you have to leave it as a fantasy! you wouldn't like it if she tried to talk you into letting her do you with a strap-on!

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (18 February 2009):

Yos agony auntDon't ever force someone or pressure them if they don't like it. I suggest you wait to find a girl who is really into it, then make sure you have a very long and fulfilling relationship with her.

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A male reader, gumbbo United Kingdom +, writes (18 February 2009):

ok. This is how i do it, and so far my past 3 ex's have done it and it became part of our sex lives.

You don't need to out right talk about it. First of all, while having sex, subtly touch her ass hole occasionally, do this for a while, if she says something, which she prob wont at first, just say "i think your ass is really cute" or something. Then touch it more and more, bring it into sex more. Esp when you are doing her from behind, touch it loads genitally, she will like it. The start to rub it and put your fingers in a bit (make sure they are always wet though, friction will be uncomfortable, but don't make it obvious). Say more stuff to her about how great her ass is and how you like looking at it, just really flatter her basically (remember not to only talk about her ass hole cuz she'll think you're weird, tell her her pussy is nice too, just mention the ass as much). Anyway after a while it won't be weird anymore to mention it and she'll be way more comfortable about the subject too. After a while start gentally fingering it (remember to have really wet fingers, seriously, if she doesn't like you fingering it she'll never let you put your cock in, it has to be a highly pleasurable experience for her, this is why you have to be really gentle etc). Anyway then once her ass is well and trully in the game you can say during sex "would you like me to put my cock up there?" say it really nicely but not in a pussy way, in a dominating but kind way as if you were really saying "i am going to put my cock up there". But once the ass is in you never know she might ask herself.

Good luck. This will take time, maybe a few of months, but you'll do it in the end!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009):

I don't believe a human being is supposed to have anal sex. Anal is for bowel movement. If you feel like having anal I think you might consider to find a gay man.

A Woman has her vaginal part to have sex with a man. A real Man should be satisfied with that. I would say this is a dirty thought, try to get rid of it...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009):

It took me a while to want to try it but you can't force it on someone. Try casually bringing up the idea in conversation and see what her response is. If she's open to the idea, you can try a finger first and see where it leads. That worked for me! Good luck!

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A male reader, Tomas United States +, writes (18 February 2009):

I'm going to try to bail you out a little here and re-word your question:

"I'm interested in trying anal sex with my girlfriend, and I'm wondering how to bring this up/introduce the idea."

("Talking someone into" something implies getting them to do it whether they actually want to or not. If someone doesn't want to, you shouldn't harass them about it; you'll just make both of you miserable. In that case, get over it or find someone who likes it if it matters enough.)

Okay, let's say your with someone and you want your best chance to find out whether she might like anal play. First (see another topic on the board tonight) don't start with trying to put your you-know-what you-know-where. You're likely to hurt her, turn her off totally to the experience, and not trust you very much to boot.

My suggestion would be, after a shower (so everyone feels clean) and while giving her oral (since you are in the area, and she is having fun), let a wet finger play, massage around there and talk to her ... ask if she likes it, if it is okay to do that. Don't rush, and if she doesn't like it back off and leave it. A lot of people are surprised (guys especially) to find out they really like that. If she does, you can add that in again from time to time, and if she specifically requests it, then you can progress to manual (finger) penetration, etc. (No fingers from back to front!)

Basically you let her determine what she likes, and if it ends up that she likes that, at some point she will ask whether you want to try more. The point is, it should be her call without any pressure from you, and she should have had lots of time to get used to more stimulation (and girth).

For heaven's sake don't try during sex to pressure someone to switch from vaginal to anal sex all at once, and think her saying ouch is somehow sexy. You'll totally deserve what you get.

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A female reader, girlabouttown Canada +, writes (18 February 2009):

well try talking and telling her how good it will be try and be calm if she wants to she will. don't worry though it takes some time.

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