A
female
age
30-35,
*il_dreamer
writes:So i really need advice because i dont kno if i should lose my virginity right now to this guy..he gets his license in 4 days. only 4 DAYS! and thats how much time i have left to decide because that is when he gets his license. and when he does, he plans on having sex. we are not together, but we have been friends for over a year and our relationship has been purely sexual, even tho im a virgin. deep inside, i dont think i should cuz i think the only thing he wants is sex. but at the same time, I REEEEEAALLLY want to have sex with him cuz im sooooooo damn attracted like its not even funny. he reminds me of a celebrity i was obsessed with growing up. imagine if the hottest guy you loved watchin on tv, was ur friend and u talk to him all the time. u kno how hard that is not to just jump on him? haha but im really into him too. he's very smart, funny, talented. he's perfect. the only problem is that he really wants sex. when i asked him if he would actually fuck any decent girl, he was ''probably'' he just loves the ladies and he even cheated on some before. he cheated on one of them WITH me =/ he probly doesn't feel the same way i feel about him even tho he says he really wants me..but i think he only wants to get in my pants..he IS a good guy but i dont kno if i should lose it to him and i have no idea what to say to him when he's gonna ask to make plans soon..im incredibly attracted to him but i dont want to do something i'll regret and get hurt by cuz it will hurt me to see him try to get with someone else or flirt with other girls..but its so hard to say no when he's gonna text to hang out soon. I HAVE 4 DAYS TILL THEN! im expecting u guys to tell me not to have sex with him but i really need to hear great advice that it will stick in my head and something to remember when talkin to him..cuz like i said, its really hard to say no to him
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (29 January 2009):
 It sounds to me like you want to have sex with him, and that you will.
I suggest you do. Then when you get hurt afterwards you'll learn and act more sensibly the next time. Sometimes the only way to learn is to go through the experience ourselves, others' advice won't ever be enough.
A
female
reader, lil_dreamer +, writes (29 January 2009):
lil_dreamer is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhaha thats funny about not shaving and lookin like a yetti lmfao but then he would get really pissed that he's not gettin what he has been expecting for months. he'll be bitching..i dont know. im tryin not to and i should be on my period soon anyway so that gives me more time. sooo temptin at the same time
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (29 January 2009):
It's simple. Stop shaving your legs and don't do your bikini line. Let yourself get REALLY hairy and horrible down there.
Then wear jeans when you see him.
You need to tell him NOW ahead of time, that you do not want to lose your virginity to him. Otherwise he is going to get his hopes up and pressure you as his hormones will be up so high.
Tell him no NOW and then if you get in that situation then you won't want to take your jeans off anyway as you'll be VERY unattractive with legs like a yetti.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): I had the same oppurtunity a few months ago, when an FWB i'd been messing around with for a while came round and we had an empty house. We ended up on my bed, missing some of our clothes... but we didnt do it. Why? I realised, although i'm certainly not a wait-til-marriage girl, i wanted to do it with someone who actually cared about me properely. After that, we stopped messing around at all, and about a month later my boyfriend came along and I lost my virginity to him. I'm glad i did too; we're no longer together, but we did it at the right time, he never pressured me and i knew he cared about me and not just getting some. I have no regrets.So even though it probably seems like the last thing you want to hear right now, do wait for someone who you're at least in a proper relationship with, and who cares about YOU and not just getting in your pants. And someone who can offer you something a little more romantic than 'when i get my liscence, we'll do it in my car'.good luckxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 January 2009):
 I have to tell you that the way you put it, that he's going to get his license and then he's going to have sex, sounds like the least romantic proposal I've heard in a long time. "Honey, I'm going to get the tires rotated, and then I'd like a blow job, and then I've got the roofers scheduled to get the leaky roof fixed."
So let's say years from now, when you're looking back on your life and thinking about the good things that happened and the so-so things that happened, would having sex with him because he happened to be getting his license, even though he sounds like a cheater, would that be a good thing? Something you'll feel warm and special inside about?
For me, that's about as special as making a grilled cheese sandwich. I like grilled cheese sandwiches, mind you, but I think a first time should be something much more special than that.
There was one girl who wrote in here about possibly losing her virginity in a public restroom, because that was the only place they could figure out to do it. I mean, come on, yuck!!!!
I understand that he's hot and handsome and sexy, but he's also manipulative, cheating and I doubt he cares as much about you as he cares about "getting some." Would this be his first time too? It doesn't sound like it is, am I right? So he's basically putting pressure on you, given you an artificial deadline of 4 days. A deadline that means nothing to you, it's not an anniversary, it's not your special day. It's just that he can drive now. Big deal.
Don't you want to be truly loved and feel cared for on your first time? Don't you want it to mean as much to him as it should to you? Why settle for less?
Take care of yourself!
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