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*osesAreRed86

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I have low self esteem, slept with another guy and know I should tell my b/f but I'm afraid!

Q.   Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I love him so much; he is gorgeous, intelligent good job etc. I could not ask for someone better. From what he has told me he feels the same way about me. However we have big relationship pro...

A.   7 November 2009: You are right anonymous, I should have just said "so few decent PEOPLE" instead of "so few decent WOMEN". Didn't mean to offend anyone. I am certainly not one of those males who would tell a cheater not to tell the truth. I hate all cheaters and ... (read in full...)

How can I show my ex-friend I am happy without him?

Q.   So I have an ex-friend who I kinda dislike. But today I felt upset because he was with other people and I felt lonely and like I had nobody. I do have my own friends but I feel alone too sometimes. I want to show him that I'm happy with not being ...

A.   7 November 2009: Nobody "makes you feel" any way unless you let them. And contrary to what you said about not being "able to act [yourself]" at school, you absolutely can. Who is stopping you from acting like yourself? Seriously? The truth is, there hasn't been ... (read in full...)

My friends are talking about having sex, I feel ashamed.

Q.   ok this is a really embarrasin thing to ask but here goes...all my friends are 13-14 year olds but talking about already have sex, im still a virgin and when im with my friends it feels like something i should be ashamed of i dont know what to do ...

A.   6 November 2009: I have answered a question very similar to this that another girl your age posted. I'm pasting the link. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-cousin-makes-fun-of-me-because-im.html You have nothing to be ashamed of at all. Frankly if the... (read in full...)

How can I show my ex-friend I am happy without him?

Q.   So I have an ex-friend who I kinda dislike. But today I felt upset because he was with other people and I felt lonely and like I had nobody. I do have my own friends but I feel alone too sometimes. I want to show him that I'm happy with not being ...

A.   5 November 2009: If you were truly happy, you wouldn't be wasting so much time preoccupied with revenge. Happy people don't waste time seeking revenge. ... (read in full...)

Will my boyfriend turn gay if he enjoys it when I give it to him from behind?

Q.   So me and my boyfriend have a very good relationship....and sex can be a little kinky with us and I know sometimes my boyfriend likes me to play with his butt hole sometimes and I was thinking about using a strap on with him cause I heard that's ...

A.   5 November 2009: No. You can't turn someone gay. Though I gotta say, it is kind of a gay thing for him to enjoy. ... (read in full...)

Do men that are abusive and violent always act like this?

Q.   I have a question is it normal for a guy to always make me feel like his the victim. The scenario is that I have been with a guy for more than 4 years who is not the father of my 2 boys..Some violent incidents have occured in the past were I ...

A.   5 November 2009: Yes. That is kind of the definition of being abusive and violent. It is like asking, do all fat people have excess body weight. ... (read in full...)

How can I show my ex-friend I am happy without him?

Q.   So I have an ex-friend who I kinda dislike. But today I felt upset because he was with other people and I felt lonely and like I had nobody. I do have my own friends but I feel alone too sometimes. I want to show him that I'm happy with not being ...

A.   5 November 2009: I agree with eyeswideopen. You really sound like you are in Middle School, not age 18-21. By investing so much time and energy into thinking about ways to show him you are alright without him, you are in essence just giving him more power ov... (read in full...)

I'm depressed after my abortion.

Q.   im 14 and i had an abortion in February, and know im depressed and want a baby. what do i do? please help me. i have never been this depressed in my life before please please help me ...

A.   5 November 2009: God, you're 14 and had an abortion? So presumably you started having sex when you were 13? Wow, you are way, way, way, way too young to be having sex or having a baby. Frankly I'm a little appalled. At your age, you are probably not even capable ... (read in full...)

Why didn't he respond to my text?? Talk about rude!

Q.   Please please please could someone offer me an explanation for this? I am particularly interested in hearing a male perspective. Please. Why would a 40 year old man that I have just met, tell his best friend (also a good friend of mine) that he re...

A.   5 November 2009: I find this topic pretty amusing because the females who have posted seem completely shocked that a man would ignore their texts or phone calls while this is the type of thing that women do to men ALL THE TIME. Ask any guy in the world if this ... (read in full...)

Double trouble!!!

Q.   I've been dating a guy for a year, I was his first girlfriend, first everything basically. He's the most amazing guy I've ever dated. We've stuck by each other through loss, fights with friends, unemployment, and other situations. It made things ...

A.   5 November 2009: You need to break up with your boyfriend. He deserves much better than someone who would repeatedly cheat on him, because she keeps falling "under the spell" of players as you so eloquently put it. Don't blame the players, blame yourself. You are ... (read in full...)

My cousin makes fun of me because I'm afraid of sex. And now I like a guy who is engaged! Can anyone help me here?

Q.   Hello! my name is cathy and i have 2 pieces of information i need help on im 16 i really like this man and he's 21 and engaged!!! whenever were around with eachother theres alot of flirting going on and its a bit obvious we like eachother but yo...

A.   5 November 2009: She rubs it in your face that you're a virgin and she's not? Doesn't sound like a very nice cousin to me. First off, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of being a virgin at your age. Far, far, far too many people nowadays rush into sex be... (read in full...)

What does a belly-button piercing symbolize? Advice from those under 20.

Q.   I’m looking for input from the under-20 crowd here about just how piercings are perceived. My 14 year-old daughter is anxious to get one. The first negotiations were for her nose, but lately it’s been for her navel. I’m old and stodgy, and have...

A.   5 November 2009: I find it pretty amusing when some girls who get nose piercings or naval piercings say that they are not getting them done because it is cool, but in order to "express their individuality." This seems highly, highly suspicious to me, based on the ... (read in full...)

G/f's past experiences have made her resentful toward men

Q.   My girlfriend of one year has some built up resentment towards men from the experiences she has had. I love this girl, care for her enormously and would really like to help her with this. She has been disrespected sexually, not in an abusive ...

A.   5 November 2009: quiet-echo, I feel as if it is really likely that they did not misunderstand her motives, but were just trying to use her for sex..... (read in full...)

Should I ditch this engagement? After what she did with this guy?

Q.   I need help. I just found out my fiancee cheated on me a little while ago. I don't know if I should marry her or not. I'm real pissed off and upset, but I love her, but this is not acceptable. I'm a believer in that 2 people who are in love and ...

A.   4 November 2009: While I read your entire post, I didn't need to go any further than the first sentence. You should not marry any woman who doesn't respect you enough not to cheat on you. That is the ultimate breach of trust and she will probably do it again. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is jealous of my best friend

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have always gotten along and have a close bond but theres always been somthing that pisses me off. He's jealous of my best friend who is male and also an ex of mine. I've explained so many times that there's nothing going on and ...

A.   4 November 2009: I can completely understand why your boyfriend doesn't want you hanging out with one of your exes. Your boyfriend should be your best friend, not some other guy. To be honest, I really think it is inappropriate of you and disrespectful to your ... (read in full...)

Faced with choosing bewteen my education and marriage. Why can't I have both?

Q.   I am confused about my future. I have been in a relationship with my bf for almost a year now. I am 20 years old and he is 25. Lately he has been talking about getting married and having kids, within the next few years!!!! To me that is very scary ...

A.   3 November 2009: Wild Thaing sums it up well. "Dear, this is your life, and the path of this life is yours alone to decide." That being said, you can't have your cake and eat it too. It's time for you to do some serious soul-searching about what it is ... (read in full...)

Is it ok to love with the mind, not the heart?

Q.   hey everyone, is it healthy or ok to love someone with your mind than your heart? what i mean is to love him/her based on there decisions, beliefs and how they treat you ...

A.   3 November 2009: This is a silly question that is all about semantics. People already struggle hard enough to define what love is, without having to bring the heart/mind into the equation. Really, there is no difference. If you love someone, you love them. ... (read in full...)

What does a belly-button piercing symbolize? Advice from those under 20.

Q.   I’m looking for input from the under-20 crowd here about just how piercings are perceived. My 14 year-old daughter is anxious to get one. The first negotiations were for her nose, but lately it’s been for her navel. I’m old and stodgy, and have...

A.   3 November 2009: Thus far, most of the posters on this forum have been females, so I'll give you my honest take, as a 24 year old male who has known several girls who have had them. Belly-button piercings are definitely kind of a slutty thing for a girl to have, ... (read in full...)

My wife refuses to give me oral pleasure because it's "degrading" but expects me to give it to her!

Q.   My wife says that giving oral sex is degrading, so she refuses to do it. However, she expects me to give her oral pleasure every time we have sex. I have since stopped giving her oral sex. She says I am acting like a spoiled child. If that is the ...

A.   3 November 2009: Dude, you are seriously pussy whipped by this woman. You and I both know that it's completely unfair of her to expect you to give it to her without her giving it to you in return. Frankly I don't even understand why you married this woman. She is ... (read in full...)

Alcohol takes over me and I attack my husband... do I have a drink problem?

Q.   Please help guys...? I'm not sure what to do anymore. When I have far too much alcohol (which isn't often) I have attacked my husband (scratch and bite)(I'm sounding like a wild dog which I'm so ashamed of)...it's as if I have a blind rage and t...

A.   3 November 2009: Obviously you have a drinking problem. Usually any time someone asks that question, they already know the answer. I'm not even going to bother mentioning the solution because I know you already know that is too. ... (read in full...)

Am I unreasonable to ask to see his email.

Q.   My spouse has in the recent past had an affair. He hides his income He tells me that it is none of my business. i have no access to, or knowledge of his income. He tells me that it is not my business who he knows or what he does, and that i just ...

A.   3 November 2009: Personally, I think it's completely unreasonable for a married couple NOT to share important things like income, who they know and what they do. These are really some of the most basic, fundamental things that I would think any healthy couple would ... (read in full...)

Anal sex is far to painful for me and I feel like a failure but I can't do it any more... help!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have a great sex life, despite him working long hours on most days. he's wonderful, like mr. perfect, and i really love him, but i have a really big problem. He's really keen on anal sex, but i've tried it two to three times, and ...

A.   3 November 2009: While I'm not going to encourage you to do something that you really don't want to do, I think it's just a question of you being relaxed enough and not clenching your sphincter. The more you try to resist and fight it, the more it's going to hurt, ... (read in full...)

Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past

Q.   After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...

A.   2 November 2009: Yos, TroubledTooMuch and Code Warrior made brilliant observations, and there is validity to everything they said. I think, however, why promiscuous women (even though who believe they are just "looking for love") are a turn off to men can be summe... (read in full...)

Do guys prefer innocent or not so innocent girls?

Q.   I'm wondering do guys prefer innocent looking girls or girls who dont look so innocent? It seems to me that guys only like girls who dont look innocent. I myself look really innocent and this annoys me because guys seem to not go for me, they go ...

A.   29 October 2009: It depends on what they are looking for. If they're just looking to f**k and chuck them, they'll go for the skanky ones. If they're looking for a long-term relationship, or for marriage, they'll go for the innocent ones. That being said, ... (read in full...)

Indecent proposal--should I continue the affair?

Q.   Ok, here I go. A bit long, but I want you to get the whole picture. I am a successful business woman married to a wonderful man and have 3 beautiful boys. If you "knew" me you could never tell I have a deep dark secret. I have had an affair wi...

A.   29 October 2009: You are hands down THE most conceited, self-centered, selfish poster that I have ever come across on this site. It is people like you who make this world terrible. You do not deserve any happiness. Your looks will one day fade and your business ... (read in full...)

I feel embarrased that I have been used again!

Q.   Im 15 years old.. And i have been sexually active since i was 12 yes i know very young well i hanged around wrong crowd and got myself in lots of trouble... Well all of my sex partners played me as in had sex with me than walked away.. well just ...

A.   29 October 2009: You did all this to yourself. Take some responsibility for your actions. Instead of blaming these boys for making you feel terrible and bad, you should blame your own bad judgement. Having sex with someone after just a few days is slutty behavior ... (read in full...)

I need closure!

Q.   I NEED CLOSURE!! How do I go about gettin closure from a 'relationship' when the other person involved doesn't want anything to do with me and willpobably just laaugh at me??? I came out of a 'friends with benfits' situation about 4 years ...

A.   29 October 2009: Hijacked Dignity (who is one of my favorite posters on this site) and Kate's Guy are dead on. They have pretty much covered all bases and there isn't really much that I can add to their responses. One thing that I feel I definitely shoul... (read in full...)

I was sexually abused by a family member, how do I tell my family?

Q.   I'm 20 years old and from the age of 5 until i was 11 i was sexually abused by a family member. I want to tell my family but i have no idea how to. I'm scared, i don't want them to hate me. This will ruin my family but i need to get it out. It w...

A.   27 October 2009: It doesn't matter how you tell them, just make sure you do it. Whoever abused you is a horrible person who deserves retribution for what he did. Trust me, if your family is at all decent, they will hate the scum-bag who did that to you, not... (read in full...)

Is a woman's worth tied to her breast size?

Q.   I have many issues with my body. I hate having small breasts, because men may accept small ones, but secretly they all want big! My boyfriend masturbates to big chested women. Also I don't have all the time in the world to exercise, sure I...

A.   27 October 2009: No, absolutely not. Don't worry about your breast size. The guys who would judge you on things like that are not worth your time as they are not interested in you but are just interested in using your body as a sex-toy. Don't be some guy's sex ... (read in full...)

He wants sex, I want to wait, how do I tell him and not get him angry?

Q.   So my boyfriend and myself have been talking about sex he keeps saying he is ready and i an to but i want to wait a little longer what should i tell him so he will understand and wont get mad at of...

A.   27 October 2009: You're too damn young to deal with the extremely complicated emotions and baggage that come as a result of having sex. I don't mean to sound patronizing, but it's just the truth. I know you may think you're big and mature and really smart and able ... (read in full...)

I don't want to control him but I don't like him looking at pornography!

Q.   Hello there, I have a horrible feeling that I can't get rid of. It's probably quite common but I need to get over it. My boyfriend always said he didn't look at porn and wasn't interested in other women, just me, which i knew sounded too good...

A.   27 October 2009: Get over it. It's totally normal behavior for men to watch porn and as long as he isn't getting physical with other women, who really cares? Would it be legitimate for him to get all mad at you for watching your favorite TV show featuring that ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend and I are 14, we want to have a baby, any opinions?

Q.   Me and my girlfriend are deeply in love and want to have a baby. Were 14...

A.   27 October 2009: Don't. Your 14 for Christ's sake. You're crazy. I feel stupid even responding to this, cause if you're dumb enough to even have to ask this question, you're probably not going to heed anyone's advice.... (read in full...)

How does one delay ejaculation?

Q.   okay so here is my question. I am confused about the concept of premature ejaculation. I am a virgin but am talking about sex with with my GF. I can ejaculate fairly quickly by myself if the mood is right and i put my mind to it. Obviously ...

A.   27 October 2009: Just give it a try and you'll get the hang of it. No advice we can really give you, but practice makes perfect. If she's a good girlfriend she'll be understanding if your first few times aren't the best. ... (read in full...)

I only want friendship. Am I doomed?

Q.   ARGH!! Hi Aunts, Why is it (nearly?) impossible to have JUST a friendly relationship with someone of the opposite sex!? I've been hanging out heaps with my best mate, playing video games and just chilling out, and just the other night he kissed ...

A.   27 October 2009: Unfortunately for you, yes, you are doomed to this for the rest of your life. Men cannot be simply friends with a female who they find attractive. Trust me, you're not that fun, you're not that interesting, the only reason they enjoy hangi... (read in full...)

I have low self esteem, slept with another guy and know I should tell my b/f but I'm afraid!

Q.   Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I love him so much; he is gorgeous, intelligent good job etc. I could not ask for someone better. From what he has told me he feels the same way about me. However we have big relationship pro...

A.   27 October 2009:  Cheating on a man is literally the absolute worst thing you can do to him. It is far worse than emptying his bank account, totaling his car and burning all of his possessions. That being said, given the fact that you had the courage to tell ... (read in full...)

Did she or didn't she

Q.   my girlfriend confessed to having sex with another guy. she even gave some detail. after a couple of days she told me she made it all up! i dont know what to believe! my gut tells me that she did! what do i do?...

A.   26 October 2009: Dude, She cheated on you and you know it. She just decided a few days later that it was a bad move on her behalf to admit it to you and now she regrets telling you. Seriously, think about it logically, who in their right mind tries to defame th... (read in full...)

She did stuff with an ex before we were married... how do I cope?

Q.   After my wife and I had been married for nine years, she revealed to me that she had done everything but intercourse with her high school boyfriend. I thought that our sexual experience was with just the two of us. I have had a hard time trying to ...

A.   26 October 2009: Buddy, you need to get over this shit ASAP. It really isn't a big deal whatsoever. I would gladly take your wife as she is now, even knowing that you've been with her a million times. Normally I am very sympathetic to guys who post about th... (read in full...)

Drunken one night stand? Or emotional affair without sex?

Q.   Do you consider a drunken one night stand to be 'better' or worse than a longstanding emotional affair without sex?...

A.   26 October 2009: Once again, as he always is, PassionatelyNumb is dead on. While women get more worked up about a man's emotions and how he "feels" about other women, for the most part, men couldn't care less if a woman has feelings for another man, as long as she ... (read in full...)

Can a girl get back their virginity back?

Q.   can a girl get back their virgin after she stop having sex for 3 yr? i had sex my ex bf, and i about to marry with other man after 3 yr. can he know that i am not virgin?...

A.   26 October 2009: Unfortunately no. By definition, your virginity can only be take once. It has nothing to do with the hymen membrane. Even if you were to get that surgically fixed (which I really wouldn't suggest) it wouldn't make you a virgin. It's like if you ... (read in full...)

Proper grammar please!!!

Q.   this is not to do with relationships or anything like that but i just had to point it out: why doesn't anybody use grammar properly on this website or anywhere else! nobody seems to know the difference between to and too or between there, they're ...

A.   26 October 2009: "it really annoys me, i get frustrated when i somebody does not doo thhings properly! comments?" You know what really annoys me? When people like you complain about other people's poor grammar when you yourself refuse to capitalize the beginnin... (read in full...)

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