My wife lied to me about her sexual past until 12 years later...
Q. my wife lied too me about her sexual past before we got married, she told me only one partner, too find out 12 year later she slept with four other men when she was a teenager. but she did come out and tell me because it was bothering her for so ...
A. 14 June 2010: On the comment below:
"The value systems are more like a product of the genetics."
You are completely correct that men have a significant biological incentive to care about their partners history, one that women don't have to nearly the same ... (read in full...)
Pleaseee help me!!! was she a virgin or she lied to me?? I'm really confused
Q. Allrite, im kinda freaking out right now.... I was a virgin until today... Supposedly my girlfriend was too and i really believed that. Right now I am VERY confused... We were gonna have sex soon because we were very comfortable wit each other and ...
A. 14 June 2010: Snap out of it. You're being ridiculous.
Here's a thought: perhaps she's masturbated with a dildo or vibrator...
Be grateful you had the opportunity to lose your virginity with someone. No go and show her tenderness and affection. If yo... (read in full...)
My wife lied to me about her sexual past until 12 years later...
Q. my wife lied too me about her sexual past before we got married, she told me only one partner, too find out 12 year later she slept with four other men when she was a teenager. but she did come out and tell me because it was bothering her for so ...
A. 14 June 2010: Despite writing about this for years, it still surprises me how one-sided most people's reactions are to this. And predictable.
Women generally don't think of it as a big deal, and see it as reasonable to under-report their sexual past. Usually ... (read in full...)
My wife lied to me about her sexual past until 12 years later...
Q. my wife lied too me about her sexual past before we got married, she told me only one partner, too find out 12 year later she slept with four other men when she was a teenager. but she did come out and tell me because it was bothering her for so ...
A. 13 June 2010: You say you don't want to destroy your family. And you ask 'what can i do to be normal again'?.
That's good. You realize that this is your issue. And you know the possible consequences. A lot of guys in your situation focus on criticizing their pa... (read in full...)
Is taking a paternity test of my brother's child crossing the line? I have evidence to suggest his girlfriend has been lying for 7yrs!
Q. Okay this is a weird story and question but here it goes. When my brother was 16 he got this girl pregnant and she was 22 at the time (which i find very gross). No one in my family knew the child or even the girl for that matter existed until the ...
A. 11 June 2010: I'm going to disagree with the other aunts.
Get the test done, but don't tell anyone you are doing it. If it turns out to be his, then never mention you did it.
But if it turns out not to be his, then you should tell him.
The truth is im... (read in full...)
Why don't I attract the right type of females?
Q. I seem to have run across a few questions. I need some female opinions on these... Not to boast about myself (I am quiet humble actually) but I am always refer d to as a "nice guy". I put the feelings and well being of anyone in front of me an...
A. 10 June 2010: Because none of the qualities you mention are obvious.
What is obvious (and attractive) is a guy that is confident, outgoing, funny and charming. That kind of man you can spot across the room, by the way he stands, by the way he moves, and beca... (read in full...)
How do I know whether to believe my fiance?? I found 100's of porn and dating sites, but he blames a virus!
Q. Well basicly last night i accidently stumbled across porn that had been viewed on the computer...I had to know where it had come from so i looked and it was from my fiances acount...hoping i'd made a mistake i checked again and to my horror found ...
A. 9 June 2010: A virus won't fill the browser history with porn sites: if that's what's there then he's been looking at porn.
However, porn sites often pop-up other windows, including to live-sex webcams. Seeing as he's been looking at porn, it's quite likely h... (read in full...)
Why could I not cope with my partner's sexual past?
Q. I could not cope with the threesome my partner had with his ex wife and her female friend and have ended my relationship with him because of this. I could not get it out of my head and kept thinking of the three of them together. Now that I am ...
A. 9 June 2010: It's not unusual for people to focus on a very specific part of their partners sexual history and obsess over it.
Why it's this particular part... it's hard to say. Perhaps you should consider going to therapy for a while: working through this in ... (read in full...)
I'm leading a double life: sleeping around yet implying I want to be committed. Why can't I be normal?
Q. So here's the thing, I can't talk to any of my friends or family about this because I have lied to them and made my life to be something more honorable than it really is. I have a hard time NOT sleeping with guys when I get the chance to, not a...
A. 7 June 2010: It sounds to me like you could have low self-esteem. The behaviour you describe is very much in keeping with that.
I suggest you buy and read this book, it's a truly incredible book on the subject written by a leading clinical psycholo... (read in full...)
My wife cheated and I want a threesome
Q. My wife and I have been married for five years, she cheated on me in the beginning, and said that she cheated so should I, But I told her I would love a threesome with another female and her. She said ok we haven't had one because when it gets ...
A. 6 June 2010: Two wrongs don't make a right.
If you do this is very possible you'll destroy any last chances of saving your marriage. If indeed you want to save it?... (read in full...)
How many is too many? She's had 10 sexual partners in 3 years
Q. Hi all, I am 21 yrs old and I'm seeing a new girl right now. We've been dating for quite a while now, but she said something that concerned me. She is 21 also and lost her virginity at age 18 and has since gone off and had 10 sexual partners since ...
A. 6 June 2010: Everyone is different.
It's ok if you don't feel right about it. You're entitled to your feelings, and you're not the only one who would feel that way. Plenty of other guys would feel the same thing.
But she's not done anything wrong: ... (read in full...)
Attracted to taller women, where do I find them!??
Q. My problem is I am only sexually attracted to to women taller than myself. I have had this fetish since pre-puberty when the 'all boys' school I attended, merged with the nearby girls school. I was about 13 years old and one of the smallest and you...
A. 6 June 2010: The Netherlands! The average height of Dutch women is the tallest in the World. Living here I can tell you that it sure feels that way too.... (read in full...)
I masturbate 5-6 times a day! Its an addiction!
Q. Hello.. I have addiction with masturbation since i was 13. Im 30 now but still cant stop it, i would masturbate 5-6 times everyday. It really effected my life, my health and confidence. Im jobless and still single. My life is a mess and im falling ...
A. 29 May 2010: There is a very good documentary about this, it's on Youtube (in 5 parts). You should watch it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtgsMCECWnw... (read in full...)
"you don't look like a virgin" when you are is that a insult?
Q. Hey, I was wondering when some one says "you dont look like a virgin" when you are is that a insult? Guys and girls both ask me this and most of the time say i dont look like one or seem like one. Does that mean i look or act like a slut some how to ...
A. 22 May 2010: 1. There's no way to tell if someone is a virgin by looking at them. So the comment 'you don't look like a virgin' doesn't really mean anything.
2. You're really over thinking this! I'm sure you've already spend 100x as much time thinking about it... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend just using me for sex?
Q. my gf and i have been together 2yrs. im the lst female she has ever dated. she says she is in love with me but when we have sex she wont pleasure me and i always pleasure her. she wont even use a toy on me. is she just using me for sex or does she ...
A. 20 May 2010: Sex is like a bank account? How to make it sound sexy!
How about: sex is like a game of tennis? It only works if both people serve... (read in full...)
He goes out to clubs a lot -- is he cheating?
Q. ok I asked this ? before I registered then decided to make a s/n si I'm asking again.... I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we DO NOT use condoms.. tonight I was looking in his wallet for a ...
A. 20 May 2010: Unless it's been there for 2+ years, it has no reason to be there other than for him to use it for sex with someone else. He may not have cheated yet, but he's clearly mentally prepared to.
In my opinion you have every right to be highly suspicio... (read in full...)
Are we still Virgins?
Q. Ive had sex with my guy, But he was using a condom every time we did it. I never got bleeding. Nor did he. So am I still a Virgin? and is he still a virgin? ...
A. 20 May 2010: No.
India clearly has work to do when it comes to sex ed.... (read in full...)
Dreading the upcoming conversation about anal sex!
Q. Hi there, I just read a question where the guy was worried his girlfriend was lying when she said she had never had anal sex before....I'm about to be that girlfriend. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and I really really love him. We ...
A. 20 May 2010: "Won't her hating it again be just as big a disaster as telling him she had it once and hated it then too? Or are you advocating she lie to him about that?"
You're right. I'm assuming from the question that the she wants to do it. Otherwis... (read in full...)
Why do some men cheat on their wives?
Q. I want 2 know why some men cheat on there wifes?...
A. 19 May 2010: Why do women choose to sleep with married men?
q is onto something. For the more detailed answer I suggest reading The Origin of the Species by Darwin.... (read in full...)
Dreading the upcoming conversation about anal sex!
Q. Hi there, I just read a question where the guy was worried his girlfriend was lying when she said she had never had anal sex before....I'm about to be that girlfriend. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and I really really love him. We ...
A. 19 May 2010: I understand your boyfriends issue, having been there myself. And I know how hard it can be to deal with from your perspective, you have my sympathy.
What you said here sounds fine. Just tell him yes you tried it once, but it was a very bad expe... (read in full...)
Wife has seen our friend naked and says its not big deal!
Q. Not sure what to do. My wife and I are married a few years. We started dating in high school, and got married after dating almost 3 years. She has this male friend who she grew up next to, he was a neighbor, and they never dated but were friends ...
A. 18 May 2010: Stop.
You're about to do possibly unfixable damage to your marriage. Forcing your wife to not see her good friend will make her resent you incredibly. Don't do it.
Don't ask her any more question about this. You're interrogating he... (read in full...)
Crazy with jealously over her ex being 2-3" bigger than me!
Q. I have had a dilemma with my current partner over my penis size for over 7 months now. Basically, I'm 41 and divorced, and met a gorgeous tall 39 y.o. blonde about 9 months ago who is rather inexperienced but loves sex. We are VERY compatible in ...
A. 18 May 2010: "I'm a bit overly self conscious about size, performance, her past lovers, etc"
You're a lot more than that unfortunately, you're obsessively jealous about it.
Jealousy causes our brains to misfire in all sorts of ways. Yours is causing you t... (read in full...)
Girlfriends sexual past is causing trouble for me...
Q. I just found this site and decided to ask about something that is causing me trouble to see what others think. I have been with my current girlfriend for two years... She is older than me, and I was a virgin when I met her which I think is one of ...
A. 14 May 2010: You're not the only one. This comes up here a lot: many guys have been in your shoes and had similar feelings and experiences. Including myself.
Unfortunately there's no instant solution for something like this. The only way, that I've seen at ... (read in full...)
Finding latex gloves and using them
Q. Hi.. Is it worth getting latex gloves for when fingering my partner's genitals and where are the best place to get them?...
A. 14 May 2010: "Is it worth getting latex gloves for when fingering my partner's genitals ?"
Is it worth what? It's hard to understand why you'd want to do something like this. Do you realise this is a very unusual question? Which is why everyone here is jokin... (read in full...)
A very complicated mess with my wife, the girl I lost my virginity to, my best friend and now the boy I have found out is my son......
Q. When I was in school I was on the swim team. We had an away meet which was the regional meet so the school put us up in a hotel. This wasn't chapperoned very well and I went to the room of some girls from a school that was from a rival school in ...
A. 13 May 2010: First thing to do is a DNA test on your son / nephew. Just get a strand of his hair or similar, you can send it off with one of yours and get a test done easily. Be sure before you do anything else.
Once you know... it's hard to say. In your sho... (read in full...)
I said I'd have sex with this player, and don't know how to get out of it
Q. So I'm 14 , and theres this guy I really like , hes 15 We had a little thing going on at the beginning but then he went out with one of my friends. He's a player and really only wants a girl to put out for him , thing is i said I would , it all star...
A. 13 May 2010: "I don't want to say no because i want him to like me"
He won't like you if you have sex with him. He'll probably just tell all his friends about it, and then the fact you 'put out' for him will become everyone's latest gossip. Do you want tha... (read in full...)
It's spooky. Every time I'm with another woman, my ex texts me!
Q. This is very spooky. Every time im with another woman. My ex girlfriend texts me she still loves me. She lives 130 miles away. We haven't seen each other for 9 months. We went out for 2 years. Is it possible she senses that im with another woman. We ...
A. 12 May 2010: The funny thing about skepticism towards what you could label 'low level telepathy' is that so many people will admit to having experienced something like it.
An obvious example is thinking of someone and them calling you a few seconds later. O... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lied about her sexual past, what should I do?
Q. hey i dont know how to ask this but here goes ..... i have been with my girlfriend for some time and love every minute i am with her , i knew she has had sexual partners in the past one being her ex boyfriend and the other was a boy she was seeing a...
A. 12 May 2010: "Judging by number of posters on here 14 and younger sexually active"
Remember that this is a site for people with sexual and relationship issues: meaning that's who visit and post. The result is that it is very much NOT a representative sample o... (read in full...)
It's spooky. Every time I'm with another woman, my ex texts me!
Q. This is very spooky. Every time im with another woman. My ex girlfriend texts me she still loves me. She lives 130 miles away. We haven't seen each other for 9 months. We went out for 2 years. Is it possible she senses that im with another woman. We ...
A. 12 May 2010: I believe it's very possible. There's been some very interesting experiments to demonstrate that we can sense when and how others are thinking of us - the effect is most powerful when we know someone well and have a strong emotional connection to ... (read in full...)
How big a deal is your partner's past?
Q. how big of a deal is your significant other's sexual past? she recently revealed that it is many more men than she said at the beginning of our relationship, and she hinted that there may have been 2 at once. this new information makes mor...
A. 12 May 2010: It's understandable you feel uncomfortable. For plenty of guys this is a big issue.
Personally I think it's best not to know specifics. In my experience (and by talking about this with lots of guys), the more you know, the more easily you obse... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lied about her sexual past, what should I do?
Q. hey i dont know how to ask this but here goes ..... i have been with my girlfriend for some time and love every minute i am with her , i knew she has had sexual partners in the past one being her ex boyfriend and the other was a boy she was seeing a...
A. 12 May 2010: Be careful. You could easily mess up your relationship... and as you say you 'love every minute I am with her'.
First thing... why do you need to know?
She doesn't want to tell you. This is very normal: most girls know that this kind of inf... (read in full...)
A question for the players....
Q. This question is for someone who has been a player or is currently a player.If a player doesn't get sex from a girl or knows that he won't get sex from a girl,would he stay in contact with her.Should the girl be paranoid if he wants to stay in touch ...
A. 11 May 2010: A player will typically be talking to as many girls as possible. This has some advantages:
- You don't seem so keen, you can be 'mysterious and unavailable'.
- You can take your time with a girl, she thinks you are 'holding out for her', when i... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend wants to research my past! Does he not trust me?
Q. hello friends.. am very worried, my one month boyfriend and i are very open to each other but the problem with me is he wants to know my friends and classmates.. he also want to know about my past ,he even told me hes going to make a research about ...
A. 10 May 2010: Sounds a bit creepy. Although perhaps his ex girlfriend hid some things from him that has made him a bit paranoid. Have you tried asking him about his past? And why he wants to know so much?
I suggest trying to reassure him that your past is fine ... (read in full...)
He's sending explicit photos to me and wants the same back!
Q. This guy im talking keeps sending me non stop nude photos of him... they are veery explicit and wants the same from me. He sometimes begs for photos. I never have sent a picture but shouldi be worried? I have a feeling this guy is jut using me for ...
A. 10 May 2010: i agree with the others here. It's inappropriately sexual, plus you run a significant risk of him sharing the photos at some later date.
I would only recommend sharing photos etc with someone you know very well and really trust. The risks ar... (read in full...)
Concerned because the "butterflies" are gone!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for three years. We have lived together for the last two years. He is a very sweet person and an excellent boyfriend. We get along great and hardly fight. My concern is that the "butterflies" are gone.Also, I go ...
A. 4 May 2010: I recommend watching this, it explains the chemical / hormonal side of love and why we are designed to stop feeling 'the butterflies' after a couple of years with someone:
http:... (read in full...)
I have erection problems and need advice
Q. I posted a topic here a couple of months ago, but I'm still not sure what's going on...down there. Let me explain, it seems either I can't get a full erection, or it majorly curves down, it gets hard as a rock, but it curves down at an angle, a...
A. 1 May 2010: You might just have a curved penis. If you're worried about it the best thing to do is see a doctor. But penises come in all shapes and sizes, yours might be fine. ... (read in full...)
What do guys consider a friend with benefits?
Q. What do guys consider a friend with benefits. I don't see a problem kissing someone, touching and possibly maybe giving a hand job or him fingering me as friend with benefits even if it happens a lot. I do think giving blow jobs, him going down...
A. 30 April 2010: Seems to me you are getting hung up on the label 'friends with benefits'. It's just a label, and can mean different things to different people. For instance, I would put kissing and certainly a hand job in that category, even though you don't.
... (read in full...)
Why after 8 years do I feel jealous that my wife has dated a black man?
Q. my wife of 2 yrs (together for 8 years), had mentioned casually that she dated a black guy in colllege. Now i feel like Im not good enough to satisfy her beause he was so much bigger. She also has dated a lot mofe guys than me and it makes me ...
A. 30 April 2010: Something like this can get to you at any time. Perhaps your relationship is going through a down patch? That might bring out doubts and insecurities, such as 'not being good enough to satisfy her'. Or perhaps you are feeling bad because of ... (read in full...)
She's always comparing me to her ex-boyfriends!
Q. Should I end this relationship before we get more attached? My current girlfriend and I have been dating almost 1 year now. Problem is her past. Not that she has a past, but she's always throwing up things in my face. More information, she dated 3 ...
A. 28 April 2010: To ask an obvious question: have you talked to her about this? Specifically, have you told her that you don't want to hear about them? Ask her nicely to please not mention them or compare you to them again. That might solve the issue?... (read in full...)
Why did wife lie about her past? I have a right to know!
Q. I found out my wife lied to me about how many guys she slept with before me. When the topic first came up when we were dating she told me there was three. I had a very hard time with this because i felt very insecure about myself. At that point i ...
A. 28 April 2010: I write here almost only on this subject. I experienced extreme retroactive jealousy myself a while back, and found very little helpful information about. So now I'm trying to do my bit to provide some.
Nietzsche was an extreme sexist and racist. ... (read in full...)
Why did wife lie about her past? I have a right to know!
Q. I found out my wife lied to me about how many guys she slept with before me. When the topic first came up when we were dating she told me there was three. I had a very hard time with this because i felt very insecure about myself. At that point i ...
A. 27 April 2010: Quoting Nietzsche on women probably isn't so wise ;)
But yes, this is probably really horrible for his wife. Nobody wins with retroactive jealousy.
... (read in full...)
Why did wife lie about her past? I have a right to know!
Q. I found out my wife lied to me about how many guys she slept with before me. When the topic first came up when we were dating she told me there was three. I had a very hard time with this because i felt very insecure about myself. At that point i ...
A. 27 April 2010: "Women please wake up and dump guys who ask you to sign on paper how many guys you have slept with"
I'd never ever normally suggest something like this. But in this particular case they are married, and she has knowingly lied repeatedly. It seems... (read in full...)
Why did wife lie about her past? I have a right to know!
Q. I found out my wife lied to me about how many guys she slept with before me. When the topic first came up when we were dating she told me there was three. I had a very hard time with this because i felt very insecure about myself. At that point i ...
A. 27 April 2010: "I don't understand why so many people get so angry and upset about their spouses past? it is in the past, therefore it doesn't matter anymore."
I don't mean to single you out rambini, but your answer sums up how this question typically gets ans... (read in full...)
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