A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I was wondering when some one says "you dont look like a virgin" when you are is that a insult? Guys and girls both ask me this and most of the time say i dont look like one or seem like one. Does that mean i look or act like a slut some how to them? I dont make a big deal of it when they say this, but it bugs me a little cause i dont know what there exactly trying to say by it and dont want to get into it with them about it. Thanks for any opinions. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bubblii  +, writes (23 May 2010):
Virginity doesn't look like anything! Sounds more like a conversation filler to me, "Hey nice weather, bus will be here soon, you don't look like a virgin." It's a really rediculous thing for someone to say.
In all seriousness though, your sexual life and choices are yours, no one elses. Just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean you have to answer it. =)
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 It's nobody's business! People can be really ignorant. I can understand why they say this, though... many people rush into having sex at a young age (and later regret it). I do think you're overthinking this. It's admirable that you've decided to wait for sex, but you shouldn't worry too much about what other people think about you! :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): It means you're hot
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 Maybe what they mean is, that you don't look like someone who can't get laid. In other words, its a kind of compliment, but not in your view, as virginity is somehting you perhaps prize or at least don't see as a bad thing. It says you're between 18 and 21, and by your age a lot of people have already had sex, and some people can wonder why someone hasn't. It can often be because a person isn't good looking or doesn't have much confidence with the opposite sex. By saying you dont look like a virgin could simply mean that you look like an attractive, confident person, so it is a surprise that you havn't had sex.
That's my interpretation. They probably don't think about it when they say it, its just an initial response. Obviously chosing to be a virgin is entirly your choice and admirable. ut to many people, after a certain age it can be seen as, not a bad thing, but surprising. Most people don't wait that long I guess. I dont think you can tell what someone who sleeps around looks like really.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 1. There's no way to tell if someone is a virgin by looking at them. So the comment 'you don't look like a virgin' doesn't really mean anything.
2. You're really over thinking this! I'm sure you've already spend 100x as much time thinking about it as the person who said it.
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