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She's always comparing me to her ex-boyfriends!

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 April 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 April 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Should I end this relationship before we get more attached? My current girlfriend and I have been dating almost 1 year now. Problem is her past. Not that she has a past, but she's always throwing up things in my face.

More information, she dated 3 guys before me, I'll call them A, B, and C.

Guy A was about average looking, average penis/sex ability, but makes around 200,000/year. Real smart, but according to my gf, not that male, doesn't like outdoor stuff, isn't fun, etc.

Guy B was below average looking, small penis/sex sucked (according to her), but worked out all the time and had a real hot body. I take it he is a little dumb, she said he makes only about 15-20,000/year.

Guy C was about average looking, really large penis (she says about 8"), kind of fun, sex was great, and makes an average living (I guess this means around 30-40,000/year).

She is always throwing up stuff in my face. Comparing me to her ex-bf's. I am above average looking, make a lot more than average (almost 100,000/year, I'll be making that in about 2 years), and I have an average penis size, but she claims that I am great in bed. I'm an outdoors kind of guy and a lot of fun.

Thing is, she always throws up stuff like 'A' always had a lot of money for us to do stuff, shouldn't you join a gym, 'B' worked out all the time, and you're really good in bed, but 'C' was really huge.

I'm thinking that my gf is really shallow, and desires someone to have everything perfect, and no one is like that. I'm starting to think I need to get out of this relationship before we become more serious (she's mentioned moving in a few times). I don't think she will ever be happy with ANYONE. If I continue this relationship, I think she will either always throw stuff in my face, or cheat a lot to keep seeking out that mythical 'perfect' man.

Should I try and help her, or should I just bail, figuring that she is a mental-case who will never be happy in any relationship?

View related questions: her ex, her past, money, penis size

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (28 April 2010):

raiders agony auntTalk to her tell her this is immature behavior and will not be tolerated.

If she continues to compare you walk out the room, so she can see that this annoys you and you will not stand for it.

If this continues turn the tables and you start comparing her to your ex's.

Finally you call it quits and you both go your own separates way.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010):

Sounds like she wants to find an above average looking guy (model/actor), who makes at least 200k, works out all the time, and has at least an 8" penis.

I'd say move on, and tell her good f**king luck finding that guy in the real world.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010):

Heck, I'm prone to suggesting that you just drop her. If you care about her deeply, you will want to talk to her and let her know that this constant comparison to her ex-boyfriends is not acceptible to you. Besides, they are ex's for a reason, so either she wants to be with you or them. You are your own person and should be treated as such.

Constant comparison to an ex is very unfair. Usually when that happens it is because the person has idealized some aspect of them, and that sounds like the case here.

Either she accepts you for you, or you need to move on. Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010):

Sorry but your gf sounds like she will never be satisfied no matter what....

And in the event you become an ex - no doubt she will compare her new boyfriend with you... the ex...

And honestly, is it nice to have this thrown in your face all the time?? What if you compared her to all your ex's? I have no doubt she would be very upset indeed.

Talk to her, either she keeps her moans to herself or else she is out the door!!

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A female reader, ladyjaye United Kingdom +, writes (28 April 2010):

ladyjaye agony aunti would suggest that first speak to her about how her continuous comparisons make you feel. its wrong.... ask her how she would feel if you compared her to your exes... the fact that shes telling you about her exes penis size and annual income just shows her immaturity... she either needs a stern word or a taste of her own medicine... and if nothing changes within 2 to 3 months then dump her... gud luck!!

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (28 April 2010):

Yos agony auntTo ask an obvious question: have you talked to her about this? Specifically, have you told her that you don't want to hear about them? Ask her nicely to please not mention them or compare you to them again. That might solve the issue?

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