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"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."

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I"m 14 and my best friends wants a FWB relationship

Q.   Im 14 and i just found out my best friend has liked me since 5th grade. We were on the phone a few days ago and he wants to be "friends with benifits" Well i like him alot to and i kinda do wanna be to. but he has a rep of just using people. I can't ...

A.   6 October 2010: He doesn't seriously like you. That's not what 'friends with benefits' means. What it does mean is that you'll have sex, but the rest of the time he's going to have nothing to do with you. Including not wanting to show affection in public, ... (read in full...)

Are all men as obsessed as my husband is over genital size, mine and his??

Q.   My husband has been messing with my head for eight years telling me I'm big down there and him is small. However he's 5.5 to 6 inches, and today at the gyno I finally had the courage to ask and she said, I'm not big, just average, down there width ...

A.   1 October 2010: It sounds to me like your husband has a bunch of insecurities around sex. The size of his penis being one of them, and also some performance anxiety. He's trying to blame as much of this on you as his conscience will let him, but in reality ... (read in full...)

My fiancee wont tell me about her past and it depresses me whenever I think about it....

Q.   Ok, there's been some things eating at me recently, I am 20 years old, engaged with a baby, my fiancé is 25. She won't tell me how Many people she's been with becuase it'd make her feel like a "slut" she told me it was over 15, but was married ...

A.   28 September 2010: She shouldn't tell you how many. All that will do is make both of you feel worse. I suggest you read this article: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/retrograde-jealousy.html As for it depressing you to think of her that way: you have to le... (read in full...)

Window for the "Previous Sexual Partners" talk has passed... what do I do?

Q.   Hello World, I had sex with my girlfriend on our first official date, and now I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place with finding out her previous sexual history. I was a virgin when I slept with her (and was blind-sided by the whole experi...

A.   28 September 2010: Jen's advice below is very good. As for this comment: "I will add that my GF never regretted her sexual past. She took the experiences "as they were". To me, this was a clear indication she was a whore and wouldnt treat me special." Is ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to love who she is, but be uncomfortable about her past?

Q.   My girlfriend has been feeling increasingly distant the past view months. We have been on a smooth relationship until now, but I sometimes wonder if she's started to stray elsewhere in her mind. I feel somewhat responsible, because she seem unhappy ...

A.   27 September 2010: It's quite normal to feel what you are feeling. As a guy, we are 'programmed' to be uncomfortable when we feel our female partner has been indiscriminate about sex in the past. It causes us to pause, and to hold back from 'investing' too much in the ... (read in full...)

How long does a women's prime last?

Q.   I'm a 26 year old women and lately I've been wanting sex more and more lately. I'm recently divorced and I'm not sure if it's because of my single life or I'm hitting my prime. All my friends tell me that I'm hotter than I was in my teens and early ...

A.   27 September 2010: In my overall experience, it keeps on going up until late 30s at least, although everyone is different of course.... (read in full...)

Window for the "Previous Sexual Partners" talk has passed... what do I do?

Q.   Hello World, I had sex with my girlfriend on our first official date, and now I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place with finding out her previous sexual history. I was a virgin when I slept with her (and was blind-sided by the whole experi...

A.   27 September 2010: You ask: "How should I go about getting closure on this really important part of her past " The simple answer is… you can't. Not like this at least. Closure about our partners past doesn't come from asking questions and finding out 'more'. ... (read in full...)

My wife decieved me about having an abortion and an STD in the past, and now I am struggling to forgive and forget.

Q.   When my wife and I were still dating she told me she had been with lots of guys. I asked her if she had ever had a STD or been pregnant before, she said no. Two weeks later the told me she had herpes, one week later she found out she was pregnant. ...

A.   22 September 2010: I'm suggesting you have to change some of your beliefs in order to resolve this issue. Otherwise you will continue to feel very negative towards your wife and what she did, and that will make your marriage suffer, and also your son suffer. As yo... (read in full...)

My wife decieved me about having an abortion and an STD in the past, and now I am struggling to forgive and forget.

Q.   When my wife and I were still dating she told me she had been with lots of guys. I asked her if she had ever had a STD or been pregnant before, she said no. Two weeks later the told me she had herpes, one week later she found out she was pregnant. ...

A.   21 September 2010: You hopefully can find a way to let go. You now have a family, it would be a tragedy for your son to have divorced parents. The good news is: the fact that this bothers you shows that you still love her. If you didn't love her, then you wouldn't... (read in full...)

Getting him to take care of himself!

Q.   Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...

A.   13 September 2010: Two people can't always be in the mood at the same time. Plenty of times I've said: "do you mind if I masturbate? You don't have to do anything unless you feel like it". And I make sure vice versa is known to be fine too. It can be fun in fact. ... (read in full...)

I can't bring myself to trust him after his emotional affair, that he doesn't think was an affair!

Q.   Were do I start I have been married for 15 years with 3 smalll childern I would not say it been happy but I have learned to deal with issues. My husband for year verbablly abused and emotionally drained me after he found out c years ago that I had a ...

A.   13 September 2010: 3000 talk minute a month and coming home at 1am. This is MUCH more than a friendship! He needs to admit to that. Understand that men will lie and lie in situations like this, even when it is obvious to everyone that they are lying. Only he... (read in full...)

She's not into her orgasms as much as mine

Q.   My girl seems to like getting me off more than herself during sex. She sometimes pulls my hand or mouth away when I try to give her an orgasm, and begs me to F#ck her instead...but she does not have orgasms from penetration. But penetration is her ...

A.   13 September 2010: Some women can be like that. She may even have submissive tendencies, which is something you could discuss with her. If you do want to 'change' her, expect it to be very slow and gradual. Imagination has a lot to do with it too: I recommen... (read in full...)

How do I get my husband to enjoy showing off his sexy wife?

Q.   Hey all some advice please, so thanks to good genes and hard work I have a good body and I love showing it off. I like the looks I get and it gives me a lot of confidence. Some people might say I dress like a slut but that's their opinion and I do...

A.   13 September 2010: My ex once got her tits out and decided to show them to everyone in the bar, telling them all "aren't they fantastic". I was thrilled, as you can imagine. ... (read in full...)

Possible psychic connection? Are we meant to meet one another?

Q.   Ok, so, a few weeks ago a guy started talking to me on msn asking if we knew each other. I then realsied that I had added him a few months back but deleted him as I didn't actually know the guy. However, he explained that he doesn't use msn very ...

A.   13 September 2010: I hate to say it but the connections you are describing are trivial. 12 days apart? 4 hours distant? Those are tenuous to say the least. Sorry.  Understand that as humans our minds are always looking for patterns and connections, and will see them... (read in full...)

I want boyfriend's daughter to be an adult and live her life elsewhere!

Q.   I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I recently moved in with him 3 months ago. His 21 year old daughter still lives at home. I am a very laid back person and thought I could deal with her still living at home. For a ...

A.   13 September 2010: Tough one. Whilst you clearly have good intentions, it does sound like you are out of your jurisdiction a bit. I can only suggest trying to help your partner to follow through. It's important you don't come across aa selfish with this, or creat... (read in full...)

How can I meet people my own age? I've run out of idea's!!

Q.   I am at a total loss as to where to meet decent, single men in their 30's (or even meet women of my age that I could be friends with, preferably who are able to go out once in a while!). Any ideas? I have tried almost everywhere I can possibly ...

A.   12 September 2010: It's tough as a thirty-something. I've been there. Still am, though fortunately got over the difficult single patch. Ironically I know plenty of nice single guys. Not 'players' but rather people who have come out of long relationships in their th... (read in full...)

How can I get my girlfriend to perform oral sex?

Q.   Hi. I really want my girlfriend to suck me off. She used to do it a few times when she was drunk but now she won't do it at all. I am the soul pleasure giver and go out of my way to please her every time, sometimes spending hours at a time ...

A.   12 September 2010: Talk to her very honestly about it. Be direct. If she is into you, then she'll want to please you. Oral sex is not an exotic request. Perhaps you can do something to help her want to. It could be something like personal hygiene, or even just tak... (read in full...)

Help! My husband is visiting online singles dating sites!

Q.   I was talking to my husband and walking into our "home" office and approaching his back as he was sitting at the computer avidly staring at a young, single woman advertising herself as available on match.com. Above the video of her ...

A.   12 September 2010: I have to completely disagree with the response below! COMPLETELY!!! I work in advertising and web design. We can tell where your computer is connected to the Internet, and target the ads acordingly. Most of the dating sites do it. That's why the ... (read in full...)

He can't take my virginity until he breaks up with his girlfriend!

Q.   Me and this boy ive known for years likes eachother problem is that he has a girl,see im a virgin and i wana lose my virginty to him. i really like him. we have fun and everything. i told him he cant take it til he breaks up with her but its ...

A.   12 September 2010: You know you don't want to lose your virginity to a guy who has a girlfriend right? What will you so when he says "well that was nice but actually I've decided not to leave her"? I suggest you stop worrying about losing it and focus on finding ... (read in full...)

Just had unprotected sex, and got my period today. Could I still get pregnant?

Q.   Ok, well this is a common teen sex question but im looking for an answer but i dont see any that fit my question so here it is. plus a little 2 it. My boyfriend and i had unprotected sex last night, and he used the pull out method. ( i hadn...

A.   12 September 2010: The 'pull out method' is only a method of getting pregnant. It's not contraception at all! It doesn't work. If you're planning on having more sex with him, please use REAL contraception. Otherwise you'll be back on this site soon asking us how t... (read in full...)

I can't stop talking about my exes!

Q.   I'm a 29 y.o. female. Before I met my boyfriend of 1.5+ years, I had 3 long term boyfriends, a bunch of short term relationships, and a ton of casual dates- in search of finding the guy i could really love. I had my first bf when I was 13 so that ...

A.   12 September 2010: It's very likely he'll leave you if you don't keep your mouth shut. We see men on this site most days in torment over learning too much about their girlfriends pasts. They end up thinking they are sluts, and dump them. It happens all the time. ... (read in full...)

I asked him to marry me and he dumped me!

Q.   i have been going out with my fella for years so i asked him to marry me and his response was to dump me and saying he wasn't in love with me.. will he ever come back... why are men so afaird to commited ?...

A.   12 September 2010: It doesn't sound like a commitment issue. He said he wasn't in love with you. You asking him to marry you made it clear that you are in love with him. He did the only thing he really could do under the circumstances. It's unfortunate, but what other ... (read in full...)

"Guy Friends" and shady behavior

Q.   Ok, I'm sure a million people have been in this situation or something similar, but I've been pretty upset lately to the point of losing significant sleep and having nightmares over this. My girlfriend has lots of "guy friends." The only interac...

A.   12 September 2010: Her behavior sounds really dodgy. You're not being paranoid, you have good reason to be worried. I can only suggest you describing to her exactly the behavior you're observing that's making you upset, and tell her in no uncertain terms that it ... (read in full...)

Is it true that a guy won't ever turn down sex?

Q.   Hi, ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. we r very happy together. i have a problem though, i have been influenced by people so much in the past that you cannot trust any man ever. an i have been told this so many times that i dont t...

A.   12 September 2010: I've turned down sex on multiple occasions. So I guess that means men can turn down sex ... (read in full...)

How do I get my husband to enjoy showing off his sexy wife?

Q.   Hey all some advice please, so thanks to good genes and hard work I have a good body and I love showing it off. I like the looks I get and it gives me a lot of confidence. Some people might say I dress like a slut but that's their opinion and I do...

A.   12 September 2010: It's quite natural for a husband to not want his wife to show off too much and get too much attention. Why would a man want other men drooling over his woman? I know I wouldn't. Judging by what you say you wear, it's not surprising he's jealous.  ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend lasts for hours in bed!

Q.   I love my boyfriend loads, but there is one problem, he lasts ages in bed. Anything up to 2 hours! The sex itself should be great; we vary positions and really do enjoy ourselves. Its not like I just lie there or anything :P But, I'm no athelete!...

A.   11 September 2010: This is a good article on the subject. It's important that you have an open but caring discussion with him on the subject. I suggest you share the article with him too: http:... (read in full...)

G/f lied to me and was used as a sex toy for 2 years

Q.   When I met my girlfriend, she told me she hadn't had a boyfriend in 4 years. While "technically," this was true, it turns out she had had a "casual relationship" with a man for two years. And she continued having sex with him for a short time even ...

A.   11 September 2010: Perhaps look at it this way.  There are choices we make about our lives that are up to us. They do say something about our values, but really only apply to ourselves. Perhaps I'm a vegetarian, or I don't think guns should be legal, or I don't th... (read in full...)

G/f lied to me and was used as a sex toy for 2 years

Q.   When I met my girlfriend, she told me she hadn't had a boyfriend in 4 years. While "technically," this was true, it turns out she had had a "casual relationship" with a man for two years. And she continued having sex with him for a short time even ...

A.   11 September 2010: Of course it's ok, if that's what she wanted to do. Freedom is freedom, no? There's no law that's says it's wrong. There's no moral code that she's obligated to follow that says it's wrong. You FEEL it's wrong, yes. But that doesn't make it ... (read in full...)

Left and right sides of brain do not agree!

Q.   I am so confused. my left side of the brain is telling me he just used me for sex. He would never take agirl like me seriously, he would never like somebody like me, he is so much better than me, he can have anyone he wants, why would he choose ...

A.   11 September 2010: Sounds like you both used each other. He just wanted a quick holiday romance, and you wanted to indulge in the fantasy of a handsome wealthy stranger romancing you. Sounds like you both got what you wanted. The person I feel sorry for here i... (read in full...)

Guys--once they get you the game is over?!

Q.   why does some guys tell you everything so sweet that you want to hear and than when they finally get you, its like game over and their not the same person you had grown to like....

A.   11 September 2010: Men are hunters. Once they prey is caught, they can quickly lose interest and want to go hunting again. Probably the simplest way to deal with this is to be really hard to catch in the first place. That makes you more of a 'prize' when caught, ... (read in full...)

G/f lied to me and was used as a sex toy for 2 years

Q.   When I met my girlfriend, she told me she hadn't had a boyfriend in 4 years. While "technically," this was true, it turns out she had had a "casual relationship" with a man for two years. And she continued having sex with him for a short time even ...

A.   11 September 2010: Men are genetically programmed to prefer non-promiscuous women when it comes to long term commitment in a relationship. On top of this, several thousand years of male-dominated culture (now thankfully in decline) has filled our heads with 'reasons' ... (read in full...)

Is he a FWB or a boyfriend?

Q.   my friend doesn't know if shes boyfriend and girlfriend with this guy shes been having sex with. she likes him alot. but every time she wants to see him, he says yes we will meet up but then when she calls him he would tell her hes busy or not...

A.   11 September 2010: Neither. Even FWB's are friends, and act like them: meaning they show respect and courtesy. She's just being a 'benefit' for some guy who likely doesn't even like her, certainly doesn't respect her, and could easily be seeing several other women ... (read in full...)

Fell in love with a married woman who says that God wants her to work on her marriage!

Q.   My story started about 6 months back when I met this girl at my work. I felt an immediate attraction to her. It wasn't just a physical one either, I mean she had the perfect personality type to me. We started talking and flirting back and forth at ...

A.   11 September 2010: q! It was me. Seems to me like this woman is quite happy to blame god when it's expedient, and leave a trail of mess behind her, rather than taking responsibility for her own actions, and your feelings. I would suggest backing off, and doing th... (read in full...)

Vaginal exercises???

Q.   Hi. My boyfriend and I have sex every night and every morning. He says its not enough for him. What do I do? The reason I dont want to have sex is because I get so wet that I cant feel alot of thrusting or anything but he says I'm so tight. ...

A.   11 September 2010: Sex twice a day is plenty! Once a day is considered enough by almost everyone. So don't worry about any more. He's being greedy. Also, most women don't get sexual satisfaction from 'thrusting' alone, and need foreplay plus clitoral stimulation. I ... (read in full...)

I can't bring myself to trust him after his emotional affair, that he doesn't think was an affair!

Q.   Were do I start I have been married for 15 years with 3 smalll childern I would not say it been happy but I have learned to deal with issues. My husband for year verbablly abused and emotionally drained me after he found out c years ago that I had a ...

A.   11 September 2010: If he wasn't getting home until 1am it was very possibly more than an emotional affair. Perhaps you don't trust him now because he never came clean about what really happened. The suggestion below about couples counseling is a good one, it's hard to ... (read in full...)

I do not believe my girlfriend...has she cheated?

Q.   My partner and I have been seeing each other for about 15 months and she has lied to me on numerous occasions but denies cheating on me. I love her very much but her explanations for things that she has done leaves me doubting her. Here is ...

A.   10 September 2010: No idea if she is a cheat. Quite possibly not. But she is a compulsive liar and appers to have other major issues, perhaps very low self esteem. You need to ask yourself if you have the energy to handle (and help) someone like this over the long ... (read in full...)

If this were your partner's past, would you be as upset as I am?

Q.   I met my girlfriend on a popular on-line dating website. Her story was this - she had been doing on-line dating for 5 years, but had never been out on more than 2 dates with anyone she met on the internet. She is a divorced mother of one child, and ...

A.   10 September 2010: To answer your specific question: yes I would no doubt be upset. But I wouldn't blame her for my feeling upset, nor would I judge her for it. And I would do my best to get over it and focus on the present and future. ... (read in full...)

If this were your partner's past, would you be as upset as I am?

Q.   I met my girlfriend on a popular on-line dating website. Her story was this - she had been doing on-line dating for 5 years, but had never been out on more than 2 dates with anyone she met on the internet. She is a divorced mother of one child, and ...

A.   10 September 2010: She wasn't objectifying herself. She was protecting her child. Having a full relationship with a man leads to this man becoming a father figure. Clearly she didn't find the right guy for that. Until you.  In the mean time she has sexual needs. N... (read in full...)

I think my baby is another mans!

Q.   hey i really do need some advice,basically i gave birth to my daughter on the 24th august an the thing im worried about is she looks nothink like the guy i thought was her dad as from the due date the doctor gave me i automatically said ye hes the ...

A.   8 September 2010: I wanted to add that as a teenage mother, you should seriously consider contraception in future. Especially since you are having sex with different men in close succession. I know a woman who has had a string of different kids with differen... (read in full...)

I think my baby is another mans!

Q.   hey i really do need some advice,basically i gave birth to my daughter on the 24th august an the thing im worried about is she looks nothink like the guy i thought was her dad as from the due date the doctor gave me i automatically said ye hes the ...

A.   8 September 2010: Get the test. For his sake. There is nothing worse you can do to a man than have him believe a child is his when it's not. You'll never be forgiven if found out. Now you have to find a way to obtain the two potential fathers DNA without rais... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has had threesomes in the past and it's eating me up!

Q.   Hi all 1st time here and just looking for some advice. I'm with my girlfriend of 10 years. A few years back myself and my girlfriend broke up for a while. During this time she had thresomes, one with two other females and another two with 1 f...

A.   7 September 2010: It sounds like you are suffering from something we usually call retroactive jealousy. This is an article about it: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/retrograde-jealousy.html I normally do not recommend threesomes in a relationship, bu... (read in full...)

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