Should I allow my son to quit football?
Q. My youngest son is a junior in high school and has been playing football for his school since the 8th grade (his school is a private school that goes from 5th grade to 12th grade). Justin always loved playing football until recently. Justin ju...
A. 23 February 2024: I agree with Ciar!
I would sit him down and tell him that you will SUPPORT whatever choice he makes.
And I would add " I do think he should do it before the season starts and not during the season."
As a kid/teenager I was ALL over the place... (read in full...)
Is it normal to hurt when your ex has a new girlfriend?
Q. Is it normal for it to hurt when your ex gets a girlfriend? So 2 months ago me and my ex split up after he cheated on me. I caught him and he still lied to my face. It has almost nearly broken me but I’ve managed to pick myself up and I was star...
A. 23 February 2024: Yes, it's "normal" to feel hurt that not only did he think so little of you that he CHOSE to cheat but he also moved on real fast.
However, what you NEED to realize and accept is that as painful as it is, it's the BEST thing to happen to you! He ... (read in full...)
How do I go about meeting the ideal woman?
Q. How do you approach a woman to flirt? Or even talk, striking up a conversation to feel around and see if she's into women? I know basically what I want so I'll start there: A woman who looks and especially acts like a female. Not an obnoxious gir...
A. 21 February 2024: Sounds like you are looking for a Unicorn, not a partner, OP
I'd say look in places where you can meet people you have something in common with. Like, your faith. You aren't the first or the only lesbian/asexual girl out there.
Or of you h... (read in full...)
I cannot tell when men are interested
Q. I've never had a bf and I am bad at reading signs of interest from a guy (yes, I know I am almost 30 and still boyfriendless). A guy and I were in a conversation, and because I liked him, I started laughing randomly mid-conversation. There was ...
A. 20 February 2024: Do you have hobbies? Do you do sports? Participate in religion?
If you can yes to one or more of these, then that is a good place to MEET someone that you might have a future with. Someone you SHARE something GOOD in common with.
Let me give y... (read in full...)
Should I be suspicious of his ex-wife?
Q. Friend with benefits just got out of the hospital for open heart surgery. His ex-wife has been at his house twice a day to cook breakfast and dinner since he came home, though I offered to help. Should I be suspicious that something more i...
A. 18 February 2024: If you want to be a casual partner (FWB) then you have no say.
If you want something more serious don't settle for FWB.
You WILL get hurt when you realize (and you really should see this) that his EX-wife is more important to him than you are... (read in full...)
She’s angry I didn’t tell her, her ex got married!
Q. I fear I have just lost a dear friend and long friendship over a silly mistake that I didn’t even know I made! My friends fiancé cheated on her 3 years ago. Obviously she was devastated. My friend does not have a facebook account, never h...
A. 17 February 2024: I'd leave her be.
YOU did nothing wrong. SHE had asked (or rather DEMANDED) that you do not tell her anything about HIS life.
You followed "orders".
She can't pick and choose what you CAN and CAN NOT tell her about him.
While I can abso... (read in full...)
Should I be suspicious of his ex-wife?
Q. Friend with benefits just got out of the hospital for open heart surgery. His ex-wife has been at his house twice a day to cook breakfast and dinner since he came home, though I offered to help. Should I be suspicious that something more i...
A. 17 February 2024: You are just FWB, his friendship/relationship with his ex-wife is none of your business.... (read in full...)
They sold their house without giving us a chance to make an offer!
Q. My husband and I are a little upset with our neighbors and no idea why what happened, happened… We have been living in our house for 6 years. One of our neighbors who lives in our cul de sac has a beautiful bigger house. We’ve al...
A. 4 February 2024: It's their house, they can choose who to sell to. Often, it's done through a real-estate agent and the seller takes the highest bidder.
Telling someone that you LOVE their house doesn't mean you want to put a bid on it. ASKING them which real est... (read in full...)
She is in pursuit of me
Q. So about a month ago this girl I was close friends with cut contact from me. We kind of had an argument and then other people said some things/rumors she got upset about. For the past week or so she seems to be for lack of a better word 'in pursuit'...
A. 28 January 2024: How about you USE your words?
Ask her? Talk to her?
... (read in full...)
Should I limit exposure to my family for my mental health?
Q. I am the youngest in a family if four. My sister's are 10 years older than me and brother is 5 years older. All I heard growing up was that my brother wanted a brother and a bike for his birthday. Well I was born on his birthday, but was a sister. ...
A. 28 January 2024: Yes, of COURSE you should limit your exposure to toxic people, even if they ARE family.
The fact that they (your siblings) blame you for "being born" basically, should tell you that they are a bunch of ignoramuses! I mean HOW can a newborn ... (read in full...)
Sister in law has some odd quirks which at times cause hassle!
Q. My sister in law has some funny quirks- she is a nice lady and makes my brother happy which is the main thing but sometimes she does things that make no sense and just create more hassle. I’m probably going to be told to mind my own business ...
A. 26 January 2024: Yeah, that is annoying and odd behavior.
My guess is that her social skills are not that great. And that might never change.
But I would also say this, IF your brother is OK with her strange behaviors, then I don't think it's up to YOU or any... (read in full...)
Something just feels off about him
Q. I started seeing this guy at the end of November 2023. On our second date, he asked me about my dating history and he proceeded to tell him his. He told me he still talks daily to his most recent ex and that she is always asking him to get back ...
A. 25 January 2024: You are getting these "feelings" (we call them intuition) because you know something is off about him.
Are you OK to be part of a harem? Get STI's from other women through him?
Do you have so little self-respect?
He sounds like a dick.
... (read in full...)
He is controlling and I'm worried that the bad outweighs the good
Q. I was in a relationship for 8 years, 2 children and a wedding booked when I found out he was having an affair with a woman he worked with. We split up but stayed amicable for our children. 3 years down the line and I went through some serious ...
A. 25 January 2024: Don't marry him until this is either sorted out or never.
That isn't healthy behavior. While I do think it's important to let your partner know that you have made plans, this is just too much.
Facetiming you because you made plans with a fri... (read in full...)
Curiosity killed the cat
Q. Curiosity got the best of me. I am almost certain she isn’t honest but I feel bad because I don’t think she’s comfortable but I asked my friend indirectly if she was gay. It’s several reasons why I want to know and think she is. Anyways when I asked ...
A. 23 January 2024: How is her sexual preference any of your business?!
And discussing HER sexual preference with other people? What the ACTUAL F!
Shame on you!
"I don’t understand why she is so upset "
REALLY? Are you always this dense?
It is NONE of you... (read in full...)
Unhappy with hairdresser should I call and tell her or put it on social media?
Q. Been going to the same hairdressers 2 years now, Before that I went to another one for longer. I always get my roots done and a wash and blow dry and it costs £60. The one I go to now is never been as good as the one I went to years ago. This hai...
A. 19 January 2024: Find a new salon. Pay the extra money.
60 sounds cheap, so you somewhat got what you paid for. Not what you wanted. Which is annoying, I get it.
I don't think you should blast her on social media either, not without talking to her first. Alway... (read in full...)
Feelings for my no strings partner of 10 years
Q. Cutting a long story short. I have had a no strings attached for 10 years with the same person. We both live separate lives and have sometimes gone 6 months with no contact. I used to be really happy with the random hook ups, but within the last ...
A. 19 January 2024: You CHOSE to waste 10 years on a guy who in fact DID use you for sex, just as YOU used him.
If nothing of significance has happened to make this from a casual screw partner "thing" - it won't happen after 11 or 12 years or more.
You caught fe... (read in full...)
Guy I'm dating pressures me
Q. Hello, and thanks I'm currently in a dating someone for approximately 8 months. He pressures me to see him frequently. He pressures me to talk on the phone. As an example. I'm sick and have barely any voice he will start texting and I'll...
A. 9 January 2024: Just dump him.
If he has sex with other people, he isn't committed to you.
He sounds like a douche.
If you are sick and can barely talk, then you can't not be on the phone. That is logic.
And girl. you are in your 30's, you can say no, yo... (read in full...)
Don’t want my friend tagging along to my birthday weekend!!
Q. I know this is going to make me sound spoilt and like a coward… It’s my 40th birthday coming up shortly and my husband is treating us both to an overnight stay in a cabin in a zoo- it’s something I’ve wanted to do for years. A few ...
A. 9 January 2024: Since your husband invited her, he needs to be the one to dis-invite her.
Or you can put on your big girl panties and just tell her, hey I LOVE spending time with you, but I would rather spend my birthday weekend with my husband alone as we do no... (read in full...)
I am confused about what he wants
Q. Hey everyone and thank you in advance for your advice. I met a guy from the USA while he was working in my hometown ( I'm European). We hit it off on our first date and long story short we've been seeing each other for 2 months now. He recently...
A. 9 January 2024: I think you should hold your horses.
You have been seeing him for 2 months!
"When there is a genuine connection I don't feel that how long you've known someone is the biggest factor."
I think you are wrong.
You might FEEL a connection, ... (read in full...)
I want to tell my family I have an 18 year old daughter
Q. When I was 18 years old, I got my girlfriend, Stephanie, pregnant. She is the same age as I am. Due to different reasons, we choose to put our daughter up for adoption. Her family knows that she had a daughter and that I'm the father. Stephani...
A. 8 January 2024: Just tell them.
I think most would be happy for a new bonus family member. :)
You can't change the past or how THEY react.
Tell your parents first.
Then tell your siblings. THEY in turn can tell their kids.
Good luck !
This is ... (read in full...)
My family found out I don't keep the gifts they give me. How do I handle this?
Q. My family (my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law and my sister-in-law's family) are terrible at buying gifts for me. They usually buy me clothes that don't fit, items that I don't need or want and other items that are useless to me. I us...
A. 8 January 2024: I'm so sorry for the loss of your dog.
"Should I asked them not to buy me anything?"
You can do that now. Or you can suggest that a gift card or a donation to XYZ charity in your name would be welcome over a gift.
It's OK.
"Part of ... (read in full...)
Why block me?
Q. So this is a weird one, I came across a local musician online. Thought his music was great, had a few conversations with him. Sometimes I got the impression he liked me but I put clear boundaries down of no. I'm here for music and music only. All ...
A. 8 January 2024: Does it really matter WHY he blocked you?
He (or whomever is in charge of his social media) blocked you for whatever reason.
You can still enjoy his music without having contact with him or be on his social media.
I'd just let it go. ... (read in full...)
Husband doesn't seem to be aware of his mother being nasty to me
Q. I have been with my husband 21 years and married for 18 years. We do not have children. His mother has never been very kind to me although my husband cannot see it. He is extremely close with his family and won’t accept his mother could ever do ...
A. 3 January 2024: Urgh, I'm sorry you are dealing with a Monster-in Law.
Firstly, accept that you CAN NOT change how she acts (neither can your husband).
She signs the cards with Mom, because she KNOWS it annoys you. And because she knows you DO not see her a "m... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a life and place that is a dead end
Q. First of all, here's wishing everyone a very happy new year! I have been married for 8 years and have a beautiful, intelligent 7 year old daughter. I guess my problem, if I can call it, is my relationship with my husband and the entire situation...
A. 1 January 2024: Have you sat your husband down and talked about wanting to move?
And why can't you have holidays with your child and husband?!
You don't sound like you know how to be a supportive wife at all. Nor do you know how to communicate.
... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my crush
Q. I'm in university right now and I have a crush on someone from another major.. I confessed to him but through our university anonymous confession channel. Now he knew that somebody like him.. But how do I text him first?? Like we never even talk to ...
A. 26 December 2023: Nope.
You don't even know if he already has a GF.
Start by saying hi when you see him in public. If he is receptive to a greeting (and has time), then perhaps try with a little conversation.
Also, why wouldn't you want him to know that YO... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's admission of cheating has left me uncertain
Q. Hello My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship about a year. He just admitted because of my work schedule he cheated once with an older woman he met online. He was very casual about it when telling me. I suspected something was up...
A. 24 December 2023: Well, is cheating a deal breaker or not, to you?
If it is, wish him well and tell him it's over. AKA kick him to the curb.
If you are FINE with being cheated on then continue dating him.
The fact that he is trying to push responsibility of H... (read in full...)
He cheated we broke up and now he wants to be mates
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend of a few years and I feel devastated. I really thought he was the one. I thought he was amazing and we had so many lovely times together and I thought we’d get married etc and I was so happy and I told him ...
A. 23 December 2023: "What would you do?"
I would STOP accepting responsibility for THEIR actions.
Unless you have any financial ties to EITHER of them, I would let them know that you are cutting them out of your life, like the CANCEROUS tumors they are.
Of ... (read in full...)
I am interested in him but is a married coworker also interested in him?
Q. They are supposedly 'just friends' but I have possibly noticed a few things but will focus on asking about one. Whenever I am at work and dressed really nice, looking pretty or what some would consider 'sexy' she goes out of her office to talk and ...
A. 14 December 2023: I can tell you from both experience and from other friends who have been in this kind of friendships that it's not unheard off that a male and female coworker are full of banter and fun. It makes the work day go faster.
If they were really g... (read in full...)
What should I do about the feelings I have towards a coworker?
Q. I(28M) work in a small organisation with a handful of people in the team. I'm the most senior person in the group and we all report to the owner of the organisation. About half a year back a girl joined our organisation. She is a very polite and ...
A. 14 December 2023: Personally? With how many companies deal with "romance" in the work place these days I would NOT do or say a thing about your feelings.
I would stick to being professional at work.
1. you are her "superior".
2. You are a male.
3. you do... (read in full...)
I seem to keep falling for men who are unavailable
Q. Hey guys.. so I stumbled upon this site a while ago.. I have a question for all the agony aunts and uncles here .. I don't know if something's genuinely wrong with me.. But whenever I am attracted to a guy , to his looks, his body language...
A. 5 December 2023: Unfortunately, OP, we like what we like.
How is your relationship with your dad?
Sometimes (quite often actually) women pick men with similar traits as their dads. So it can be you are "picking" the wrong guy for you because his traits are l... (read in full...)
Is my husband being secretive about time spent with his ex?
Q. Hello. My partner has been separated from his wife for coming up 7years. We have been together for 5. They separated on good terms not great terms and talk every now and then as they sometimes reach out with work networking and general how you doing ...
A. 5 December 2023: "Should I ask his why he failed to mention it to me. It just seems deliberate."
You should ask him, but TRY not to make it sound accusatory when you do.
And YES, I do think it's deliberate. Maybe not in the way you think, maybe he mistakenly th... (read in full...)
There are rumours at work that I fancy my female co-worker
Q. I thought I befriended a female coworker. I am also female and we work in a school. I admired her because we were similar in age, family background, and she is in a position I hope to eventually be in. I initially did not like her but then liked her ...
A. 4 December 2023: Let me put it this way, IF you had been a man this would have been a HUGE deal, you might even have gotten fired.
But you are not, so you got a "warning" instead.
You need to leave this woman ALONE.
when you write:" I initially did not like... (read in full...)
How do I know when to assist my blind girlfriend
Q. This girl I started dating is blind (she is low vision blind, not total blind). Like, if I am standing in front of her, with the lights on, she can see that I am there but if I am standing on the other side of a room, she will not be able to see ...
A. 4 December 2023: Ask HER to clarify when she needs help. We can't tell you, only she can.... (read in full...)
My dance partner has been behaving strangely with me
Q. I have a friend who is also my dance partner and we have been dancing together for a year. We're extremely close, and most people tend to think we're in a relationship and we keep having to tell them we're not. He is married and he has a daughte...
A. 3 December 2023: Absolutely agree with Kenny,
Find a new dance partner (maybe someone NOT married) And block this guy, he is weird.... (read in full...)
Do I need to be more ambitious in life?
Q. I’ve been at my current workplace for almost 18 years. Im 40. I’ve had a couple of promotions (nothing fancy) and I get to work on different projects which varies and to be honest I admit I’m settled and happy and have no desire to find ...
A. 30 November 2023: "Do I need to be more ambitious in life? Do people see me as boring?"
Not unless YOU want to and who cares?!
I think working for the same company for years, decades show dedication and trust in the product and company. What is wrong with that?... (read in full...)
Ex contacted me to wish me a Happy Birthday
Q. So about 2 months ago I came here and asked a question regarding about going to therapy about a girl I was romantically involved with leaving me. I come back ask the situation with her has changed entirely that I've had what can only describe as an ...
A. 30 November 2023: "Now my question back to everyone: should I ever consider going back to her?"
Probably not.
Even if what you had was VERY short-lived there is baggage here. Baggage you do not need.
Because YOU will remember and perhaps your "old self" ... (read in full...)
Ex contacted me to wish me a Happy Birthday
Q. So about 2 months ago I came here and asked a question regarding about going to therapy about a girl I was romantically involved with leaving me. I come back ask the situation with her has changed entirely that I've had what can only describe as an ...
A. 29 November 2023: Maybe she was just testing the waters OP.
Or it just wasn't that deep.
I think if you feel she wasn't GOOD for you to be around, you ought to block her and ignore her from now on.
Keep working on yourself and let go of this ex. Don't let he... (read in full...)
What would you have done in this situation?
Q. A 40 year old married woman, let’s say her name is Mrs J went to her friends Mrs M house for bday get to gather after playing bingo w/ the girls. The people who was suppose to be at Mrs M house was Mrs J, Mrs M, Mrs L(single). The bday girl’s guy ...
A. 29 November 2023: Uh tough one. Well, not really.
While I get Mr. J's sentiment of *you should have called I would come get you* - I get why she stayed when there was a 10-year-old girl in the house. At least until the mother got back, once SHE was back, I would ha... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating is too clingy
Q. I've been dating a guy for the last few months, we've had sex and he was a virgin. I have a history of sexual abuse which I have told him about and told him sometimes I need a bit of space around sex or I feel pushed and suffocated. He said he ...
A. 29 November 2023: Is this normal? Do guys need to be told exactly?
No, it's perhaps "normal" for a "rookie" but what ISN'T "normal" is his total disregard for your boundaries.
NO is a complete sentence. And no means no. Not, "try harder" or "ignore her wish... (read in full...)
Controlling & jealous boyfriend and the man I fancy at my local hangout
Q. I have a boyfriend for 6 years now and while we have a great relationship, his very jealousy and controlling …A few months back I broke it off because of his constant jealousy tantrums…I was also going through some personal family issues (my only ...
A. 26 November 2023: So your solution to your OWN bad behavior is to act like your BF who has "constant jealousy tantrums"?
I mean, really?!
It doesn't make any sense!
You are a GROWN up not a tween! ACT like a grown up!
Stop going to the bar. The waiter int... (read in full...)
I've fallen for an alcoholic
Q. Hello. I’m at such a loss, I’ve really fallen deeply in love with a man (we’ll call him Larry) who is an alcoholic. I try to tell myself that it isn’t an issue, but deep down I guess it always will be won’t it? I have known Larry for a long tim...
A. 22 November 2023: You can bring it up to him that you feel he needs to seek help, that YOU would like for him to stick around for decades to come and it's not likely he will with his drinking.
HE has to make the choice to get help and stop drinking. Unfortun... (read in full...)
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