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Will I ever get to meet up with him or shall I just quit now?

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Question - (24 October 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 October 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Will I ever get to meet up with him or shall I just quit now?

I am in love with this guy who says he has a partner that he doesn't get on too well with but knows I am interested in him and keeps phoning me! - We have arranged to meet up as long as he can get away for long enough!

We live some miles apart and I don't know if I should keep hanging on for the off chance that we may or may not meet!!

I know I will be considered the "other woman" but I only want to see him and see he is ok!! - Should I keep on pursuing this?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you Jabey for your honest answer!!

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (24 October 2008):

eddie agony auntI's really none of your concern if he's OK or not. Don't try and convince yourelf that's all you want. You know better.

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A female reader, jabey United Kingdom +, writes (24 October 2008):

you say you only want to see him to see if he is ok, you know thats not true you can speak to him on the phone and know he is ok. You must be honest with yourself you want to see him in the hope something may begin. Thats fine but here are some facts which i know you may not really want to hear.

If this man is unhappy with his partner big obvious question, why is he with her ????

If he truly does not want a relationship with her why does he not end it ?????

If you meet him, you may become attached in someway which I think you are a little already, and then what ?? you wait until he can get time out again ?? he gets the choice, you or her. Whta if he continues to see you and not end it with her then he decides its she he wants. you are then left with a crushed heart, low self esteem and wishing you had not gone there.

I would personally remain he friend and if he asks to meet you, say whilst you are still in a relationship I would rather not, but if ever you are single then I would love to meet you.

Think how much you would appreciate a woman saying this to a guy you might be seeing, if he was telling her he was unhappy. Lets stick up for each other girls, try not to see a guy who is attached.

Also I bet your an amzing , gorgeous, woman with loads to offer, dont you deserve to be number one in someones life. dont you desrve to have a guy keen to see you not one that has to wait if he can escape for a bit.

If he is truly unhappy, he really should be man enough to leave the relationship of his own accord and then pursue you as a single guy and give you what you deserve. trust me on this one, I have several friends at the moment with broken hearts who went for the guy with the partner. They have either been dumped, or dont trust the guy, I rarely see a happy outcome. Go for the single guys.

A friendship is fine, and when he is single you may then jsut be glad you left it !! xxx

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