A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My brother is friends with this guy who happens to be black. When I saw him around I would ways try to make conversation with him but he never talked too much. A few months ago he got a job at my work and started flirting with me. We started talking a lot and hanging out. Until now I had never dated a black person, but eventually we started having sex. He would always tell me he missed me. At first he would text me all the time and I felt like things were perfect. There is only four other black people who work with us, and people started talking about how one of the black girls was his girlfriend. I stopped talking to him and tried to avoid him. I am not looking to be with someone who is dating another girl. One day while I was at work he happened to be working too, he started talking to me after almost a month of blatantly avoiding me. He asked jealous that I was talking to another guy I work with…even though he is the one who started dating this other girl when I made it more then clear I wanted to be with him. He called and wanted to hook up…when I went to his house he kept making comments saying he missed me so much…and how much he liked being with me. Why is he doing this if he is dating the black girl from work. What can I do to show him that even though I am white I can be there on the same level as the black girl. Why would he even want to mess around with me if he already had a girlfriend? I need advice that isn’t just “he’s not worth it…forget it” or, “stop talking to him.”
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (15 November 2008):
 "even though I'm white I can be there on the same level as the black girl"....What does that mean? I don't know why colour has come into this. Anyway, if he's taken....stop seeing him. That is simple. He's unavailable.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 November 2008):
Ok so you didn't want us to tell you that he's obviously playing you for sex and will treat you badly. You've accepted this and are happy to be treated like crap, cheated on, and lied to.
Well in that case I'd just go up to him at work when he's with the girl you suspect to be his boyfriend and ask him out, make it clear you don't mind just going to his place to be used for sex if that is what he wants.
If she reacts and tries to staple something to your face then you will know she is his girlfriend. You just have to beat her in a fight and then he will know you don't mind taking a beating and he can treat you how he wants.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, wendie dee +, writes (15 November 2008):
 HI
First of all i don't think you should just stop talking to someone maybe if you had asked him if anything was wrong and why he suddenly stopped texting you,and about the rumours with this other girl, i think you would have a clearer view of where you stand now..
You obviously like this guy, but it shouldn't make difference what colour you are, believe me and no way should you have to proof anything.I would try being unavailable a few times, and see how he reacts, if he is really interested he will do the running.Good luck
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