A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Is it o.k to sleep with another mans wife. I have a married wowan friend at work who has expressed a wish to sleep with me, she has given me details of her marriage woe's etc.I admit she is very attractive.My ex wife cheated on me with my best friend, should I sleep with this work mate?I'm a Christian and have a problem with doing this but i'm gradually losing faith and starting to believe in the Darwin survival of the fittest way of thinking. Help
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at work, best friend, cheated on me, christian, ex-wife Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (7 February 2009):
You already know it's not okay, or you wouldn't have asked the question. Resist temptation. Just because you have been betrayed in a horrible way by the two people you trusted the most, don't take part in a betrayal. That seems to be at the core of this issue if you ask me. You seem to want to see what it feels like to be on the other side.
I can understand your losing faith. But human beings have faith because we are human -- we think, we reason, we believe, we hurt, we feel. Survival of the fittest has merit, but what you are overlooking is the underlying damage you will do to yourself and your workmate's psyche. There is a price to pay afterwards. You will feel pleasure. Then you will feel guilt and shame. You will not like yourself. You might ruin this woman's marriage. And working together everyday you will not be able to forget about it. There will be a constant reminder. It might affect your job performance. And what if she talks? Tells your co-workers? Will they lose respect for you? What if she tells her husband? Who's to say he won't beat you to a pulp? That's not being fit. That's not good for you -- or your survival.
If you are just looking to get it on with a tart, then go find a local barfly who is single. If you are bitter and struggling with your faith, walking in the sinners shoes is probably not the answer, though it may give you a temporary sense of power. Find a good therapist and try to deal with the hurt and betrayal you have suffered.
A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (6 February 2009):
 do you seriuosly have to ask???
ofcourse its not ok to sleep with anotrher man's
wife...
how did you feel when your wife slept with
your best friend..
its not a good thing bro
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A
female
reader, charron  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 NO.STOP AND THINK..WHAT A MESS
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 February 2009):
 There are good choices and bad choices. This is not a good choice. You know it but you're looking approval to do it anyway. What would be a valid reason to do it? there is not one, unless you're only interested in what feels good in the moment. You need to believe in the big picture. I'm not talking about religion either, just what is morally correct. She has a bond she is supposed to adhere to. Stay out of it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009):
No.
Chastise the woman and send her back to her husband, escort her if necessary.
Stay strong my friend life will get better don't lose faith.
Christi crux est mea lux
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): He's not using religion to suit himself, he's a discouraged man, hurt and disillusioned by his ex-wife. (Christians aren't perfect like everyone thinks we should be, we try to do what's good and loving, but we're sinners like everyone else, only saved by grace) I would feel bitter and possibly act out the way you're thinking. But I'm hear to say, Please don't get yourself into this thick mud. You'll only be hurting yourself more. Try to distance yourself away from her, she'll only bring trouble for you, and who knows what her husband is capable of doing.? The real losers are your ex-wife and friend. They have to live with the betrayal they've done to you, and a relationship based on deceit is shaky. (not very desirable to me)You GET a fresh start. You're still young and there's Lots of hope for a Real love to come into your life. How about making some positive changes? Have there been any dreams you've wanted to pursue? Also, it's important to get together with other believers to feel a connection and direction for yourself.(I added this in case you stopped going to church) I look forward to a weekly bible study group. Well, I hope you take the time to do a little soul searching. Think about all you Do have...and remembering what we're thankful for can totally change our attitude around. God bless.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 February 2009):
I'm a Darwin-follower and yet some how, even though I don't believe there is a big bearded man staring at me, I manage to tell right from wrong.
DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER YOU IDIOT!
Up until now, evolution has followed the pattern of survival of the fittest. That is still true in many ways, but we as humans have gone past that to the point where we have evolved a sense of altruism. We stick to moral codes and look after weaker members of our species and have a national health system funded by tax. We do this to stop us from having to act like savages.
If you want to be a human then stick to your morals and don't use religion or lack of it as an excuse for your actions. It didn't work for Northern Ireland and it won't work for you.
If she's got problems then be a friend and tell her to go home and get them sorted. If you are losing faith then find a new path to follow.
You are a human, and we are choosing the higher path, that is our evolutionary step.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): If you can't beat em join them that's what I say. You have finally seen your religous crap for what it is.This is a dog eat dog world. Horne recommends against it, but it didn't stop HIM dipping his wick :)Go for it dude.
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A
male
reader, Horne +, writes (4 February 2009):
There's a simple answer to this question. Was it ok with you for the other man to sleep with your ex-wife? You're asking a question to which you already know the answer. And it has nothing to do with faith or religion. I'm not one to be a moral compass for anyone. I've done it, meaning slept with other men's wives. I can tell you from experience that co-worker relationships are never good. Might seem like it for a while, but if anything goes wrong, it goes wrong in front of everyone you work with. Said wife's husband showing up to deal with the man sleeping with his wife? It'll happen at work. You two have a good time then one or the other decides to break it off and the other doesn't want to? All that will take place at work. Any of that stuff happens, one or both of you will be finding another job. Basically, the question isn't just do you sleep with her. It is how much jeopardy do you put the rest of your life in to do so.Your call, but from experience I'm telling you it's probably not the wisest thing to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): There is no problem with holding Christian views and also believing in Darwin and the theory of evolution. The two work together very well. Ask the millions of scientist arround the world who believe in evolution and are relgious as well.Survival of the fittest doesn't mean do whatever you want, or be horrible and hurt people the way you were hurt. It actually means those who are best placed and suited to the circumstances in which they find themselves, should survive the longest. Sleeping with a man's wife, in a society like the UK which values decency and fairness, I'd say you come bottom of the pile. Go find a single woman, the UK has tons of them. Or maybe your not fit for purpose and that why you are having romantic troubles.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (4 February 2009):
 What!!your a christian. Typical, religion to suit yourself. Hey! your 36-40 years of age, so you should know better really. Why ask such a daft question, it will only prevoke nasty answers.
So NO its not ok, but I think you will do it anyway. Christian my ar**.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (4 February 2009):
NO IT IS NOT OK!
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