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After 30 years friendship turns sexual?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 March 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 March 2009)
A female Canada age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been having a very platonic relationship with a man for over 30 years..we are very very close and he has never once made a pass at me..or disrepected me. Only recently I realize that I am crazy in love with him and we kissed and made love. I am now very confused because I am married and I have never cheated on my husband. What should I do?? He said that he has always loved me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009):

you have been married for 30 yrs already and now you have started to have sex with this "friend" for the past 30 yrs you have been "cheating" on your husband by having an emotional affair with this friend. only now it has turned sexual. I know that you say that you are confused but are you sorry it happened? Will it happen again. If you continue to see this friend then it will again. you will hope that you will not get caught but sadly you will . Then what happens. An ughly divorce. Are yo "happily" married, do you love your husband, would you tolerate your husband having an emotional attachment with another female? obviously not, but you have continued for so many years,this is not fair to your husband. He deserves better. Just read all the mail about infedility on this dear cupid site. Do you want to go down this road as well.

If you do not love your husband release him to find someone else. You have already cheated for so long, surely you can respect him now and release him. But if yo want to salvage your marriage you need to stop all contact with your lover. It will be hard but you must. You just didn't MAKE LOVE, YOU HAS SEX AND YOU BROKE YOUR MARRIAGE VOWS. Is your lover also married? Guilt? Then what? Marriage is so precious, you are throwing it all away for this other man who has not respected you enough not to have sex with .Both you and your lover have cheated your husband. Please stop this immediately. There will be so much heartache and pain for all concerned. You need thn not be selfish. You created this betrayal, you can also end it. The question is Do you want to? How do you make your Marriage work?

I urge you to read and understand about emotional affairs, you will find plenty of stories here.Maybe then you will fully understand what you have been doing for so many years. There has been 3 people in your amrriage. You have the power to end this triangle. Who you choose will depend on you. Whether you cheat when you are 20 yrs or almost 60 yrs remains the same. Cheating is cheating and the innocent get hurt. Marriage betrayal is so hard, you have crossed the line. Now decide whether you make amends. Good luck. It is not too late to change your ways.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009):

Ask yourself if he's worth throwing your marriage away for because that's probably what will happen if you get caught. You can call it a mistake and tell him and not let it happen again, or you can let it continue and hope you don't get caught but ask yourself this. How would you feel if the roles were reversed and what does this man think of you if you are married and sleeping around behind your husbands back?

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (29 March 2009):

eddie agony auntI'm not sure I agree with the last post. I think you've already cheated on your husband. There is no "if" here. You said you kissed and made love. Wondering who is more pleasing while making love is meaningless. there is always someone else who is better at something or another. What does that mean? It means nothing. Can you imagine how shallow our lives would be if that was the most important thing. You need to see the big picture and figure out what your life lacked to allow you this indiscretion.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009):

Wow...I can see why this is a problem.

I'm guessing that since you did not state that he is married that he is single. Well you can either say "no" and not cheat on your husband or you can say "yes" and cheat on him. You have to ask your self is this man who you want to replace your husband with?

I hope you dont think I'm lecturing you.

Because really and truely you can either end this relationship before it starts or keep it going. Are you willing to risk your marriage for him? Do you love him more then you love your husband?

Okay now as one female to another I'm going to just say this:

Who is more pleasing to you while making love?

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, good luck and I hope that I could have helped in some way....and I hope I haven't made it worse!

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